The walrus is famous for being immense, powerful, and oddly lugubrious, and for having a mouth that looks like Wilford Brimley after nine hours of cunnilingus. Ditto the Lincoln.
Vanity Fair’s Brett Berk channels his inner Robert Farago and comes up with one of the more memorable metaphors we’ve heard in some time. Word to Berk: PR folk don’t tend to celebrate the metaphorical marriage of the ridiculous and the sublime as much as… well, everyone else. As we’ve learned the hard way here at TTAC, sexually-tinged metaphors can get you cut off from the press car gravy train faster than you can say “flying vagina.” On the other hand, devastatingly accurate metaphors delivered with little regard for their consequences have a way of endearing you to a the best kinds of readers. And that, after all, is what this whole auto writing this about. Consider us inspired!
“…having a mouth that looks like Wilford Brimley after nine hours of cunnilingus.”
The absolute funniest quote ever to grace the pages of TTAC! I spit my iced tea over my keyboard and monitor.
Twotone
Funny? yes. But it has left me mentally scarred. What kind of a sick mind…..
I nominate the 2011 Lincoln MKX for this particular honor:
http://media.il.edmunds-media.com/lincoln/mkx/2011/as/10/de/2011_lincoln_mkx_actf34_10-de-as_1_717.jpg
Part of the genius of Berk’s quote is that he leaves it so open-ended by closing with “Ditto the Lincoln.” Really, the line could apply to almost anything from the brand (with the possible exception of “massive” and the MKZ). If there’s any schadenfreude to be milked from Ford’s recent success, it’s that Lincolns are as Berk describes them.
By jove I think I’ve got it … Whale Tail ….
http://www.davidagius.com/Whale%20Tail.jpg
The walrus is also famous for having the second largest schlong in the animal kingdom.
Don’t know how ol’ Wilford would end-up doing that for 9 seconds, let alone 9 hours, since IIRC, Mr. Brimley is gay. (LOL, just reminded myself of the old Seinfeld episode where every time a character spoke of this, he would immediately continue with “not that there’s anything wrong with that.”)
No, Brimley is not gay. Please check your urban legend for facts, please.
Chad Allen, the actor who played his grandson on his show in the 1990s, came out of the closet and is openly gay. Perhaps that is where the confusion rests. I’ve never heard that Wilford Brimley is gay.
Instead of that ‘Major Tom’ music in their Lincoln ads, Ford just need to use ‘I am the Walrus’.
koo koo ca choo!
Very funny. Vanity Fair is hopefully big and powerful enough to get away with it.
It’s funny, because it’s true…
Wilford Brimley would never engage in nine hours of cunnilingus. He was too cunning a linguist for that.
Really puke.
You know, sometimes I wonder what makes TTAC special to me.
I keep getting nuggets of good stuff and great thoughts from the B&B.
I grew tired of the Farrago thing and hoped we have seen the last of the self-love.
Yet every once in awhile TTAC still lets it’s darker inside…out.
This is the special luxury these Brett Jerk idiots have, to opinionate without ever producing.
Ditto modern comedians.
Specialize in poking at those who step forward with ideas and work, and all you have to do is work late into the night and pick it all apart.
Easier to do nowadays with the computer and spell check.
It’s all about the oh so clever use of words, never the meaning.
Slash and burn.
We used to call radio jocks Shock Jocks for this cheap attempt at fame and ratings.
This is mentally boring and should be below TTAC standards…or else admit this sight is nothing more than sensationalism.
Enough already of the MKS/Lincoln look bashing.
I have one, and not one single person has uttered anything but praise at the car’s look and luxury.
The quote was taken a bit out of context. There was an entire list of cars compared to animals, and IMO it was all done in good harmless fun, not to demean any of the designs.
I have heard only positive comments from potential customers about the new Lincoln grills as well. The only product on the lot that provokes strong negative reactions due to style is the Flex, and even then it only seems to do it for around half of the customers.
With a handle like “TrailerTrash”, I’d think you’d get the joke. It’s OK to lighten up occasionally.
I drive a Gen 1 xB, which is only known for its inner beauty, so when I point at a Lincoln, 4 fingers point back at my car.
Hmm… are you sure your peers actually saw the front of the car?
I jest, I jest. Honestly I don’t see a walrus, i see a modern BMW-meets-Darth-Vader’s-mouthpiece.
But honestly, design is subjective, and things shouldn’t be taken so personally. If everyone liked the same thing, the roadways would be boring.
You see attractive luxury automobile, Niedermeyer sees a walrus, and I see Star Wars. Can’t we all be right?
I do have a sense of humor, although few think so around me these days.
I guess with age and a little experience, I have lost a great deal of patience. Especially with the pop star critics and pundits in today’s electronic journalism.
The point that got me was the headliner of TTAC:…”the truth in medaphors”. This was a give away as to the reasoning behind the story.
TTAC, other than Jack Baruth, is pretty well outspoken of Lincoln’s past and direction.
And truth be told, my early love of TTAC was because of the clever writing.
But sooner or later, if you REALLY love design and manufacturing, you start to look for more.
Not just critism, but direction.
Not a big priority within the world of pop talking heads.
There’s more money in putting the camera on a car reck.
Last point, trailertrash is my way of giving a nod to the hard working Ozark hill people around me. These poeple have kept their 1970 cars and trucks humming and still see them as something special.
My MKS looks like a gold front tooth down here!
See, that’s funny.
I have heard only positive comments from potential customers about the new Lincoln grills as well. The only product on the lot that provokes strong negative reactions due to style is the Flex, and even then it only seems to do it for around half of the customers.
Selective listening.
The new tarted up Fords are hideous…as are the actual Fords…
@TrailerTrash: “My MKS looks like a gold front tooth down here!”
Glad to see your sense of humor has a reset button. :)
The term “flying vagina” seemed more like a juvenilistic insult than a metaphor to me.
It made me wonder what sort of women Jack’s been spending time with.
And yet it is still the #1 claim to fame around here.
Is the urban legend true that the Detroit auto companies only hire vision impaired designers?
“…having a mouth that looks like Wilford Brimley after nine hours of cunnilingus.”
I think, in fact I am almost certain, that Mark Twain would approve. I cannot imagine a better endorsement.
Honey, is that oatmeal?
Wilford Brimley after 9 hrs of cunnilingus sounds like an amazing answer for the board game “Loaded Questions”.
After Farago’s famous idiom, I’m not sure that Berk is that original, and if you think about it, RF’s critique of the pudendal looking Subaru wasn’t the first genital description of of a car. It’d be nice to have a dollar for every time the Jaguar XKE was described as phallic.
I thought Wilford Brimley was a dude, therefore he could not have this act performed upon him? The grammar of the sentence is ambiguous.