Looks like it’s time for some more Scott Burgess news! Mr. Burgess, whose very existence had long been unknown outside a select circle of hotel room-service supervisors and parakeets who had acquired literacy due to a ruthlessly effective program of eugenics at Petland stores, briefly made Internet headlines last year when he went crazy on a Chrysler 200, quit his paper, was rehired, and fell back into line — not to mention obscurity.
Turns out you can’t keep a good man down. Having briefly tasted the Internet fruit, Scott’s decided to take a job at the salad bar.
According to Bill Shea’s “For Immediate Release…” column in Crain’s Business News… Wait. Do we have time to make a joke about somebody? Of course we do. This is the column header for the “For Immediate Release…” column:
After seeing this graphic, I’m thinking the best candidates for “immediate release” are the children trapped in Bill Shea’s basement. Just kidding, big guy, I read you every week. Back to the story. In his article, which is titled “Detroit New Auto Coverage Team Decimated After Critic Scott Burgess Quits For Job Elsewhere”, Mr Shea notes that the Roman centurion in charge of the Detroit News decided to slay every tenth member of the department to punish them for permitting Burgess to depart without resistance. No, wait. That’s a different meaning of the word “decimate”, one which Mr. Shea calls “archaic” in his response to a commenter on the article. It turns out that “archaic”, like “decimate”, has been given a new meaning by Shea, and that meaning is “a word, the meaning of which eludes me at the moment.” Back to the decimation. Shea actually writes that
Longtime Detroit News auto critic Scott Burgess — he of the infamous Chrysler 200 review incident — is quitting the newspaper at the end of the month for a job at AOL Autos.
“I’m leaving because I think it’s a great opportunity to do more things with AOL Autos, working out of their office in Birmingham,” he told me via email. “I’ll still be writing about cars and the auto industry, contributing to both AOL Autos and Autoblog as a senior editor. For me professionally, it’s a chance to reach a much larger and broader audience.”
This marriage of journosaurs and online media has been tried before, with miserable results (cf. Brock Yates here at TTAC, a variety of people at “Motive”). If there is a place for the buffet-browsers to land online, however, it’s Autoblog. We wish Mr. B the best and look forward to more hard-hitting coverage. The Detroit News, on the other hand, is in a real pickle:
…the paper wants some sort of sharing deal for his AOL content, or something like that, but I don’t know that to be true. It certainly sounds plausible and cheaper. And veteran professional auto critics aren’t exactly readily available.
Uh huh, in the sense that used condoms aren’t readily available in the trash cans of the metro Detroit Motel 6. Seriously, you would think Shea didn’t live in a city with homeless shelters.
In the event that Scott, like Jeff Glucker and Matt Davis, arrives at AOL Autos on a day on which they are not giving the Ethics Lecture, I’d like to offer some suggestions on behavior.
Autobloggers may:
- Clear someone of rape charges by offering unsolicited character testimony;
- Get people excited about a million-dollar auction while forgetting to mention that it’s for your dad’s stuff;
- provide unintentional self-referential hilarity;
- write airline lifestyle articles masquerading as road tests in order to acquire free trips to Spain.
Autobloggers may not:
- accidentally place their own advertising content in the middle of the other advertising content.
Got it? Then take, these broken wings, and learn to fly again, Scott! Learn to live so free!
Well the part of Birmingham, AL I saw from I-20 looks a lot like Detroit minus the snow.
“minus the snow” is the key part of that sentence.
Someday, Jack, you oughtta own up publicly to whatever it was Scott Burgess has done to you that would merit so much of your not-inconsiderable ire, which seems to demand that you pour so much Hater-ade over him in order to satisfy your honor. Y’know….just between us friends.
Confession is good for the soul, mate; as well as likely to be very entertaining. I haven’t read you being so snarkily, angrily, entertainingly condescending since our friends at Porsche put a rather large bee in your bunghole. Seriously.
If anyone wants to start a pool, my guess is Burgess hit on Mistress V. McB. …. either that, or Burgess spilled something on one of Jack’s axes…..
HATER HATERS GONNA HATE
‘spilled something on one of Jack’s axes…”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Good stuff.
Full disclosure: I’ve met the guy twice. The first time was at an Audi event where he was sitting at the bar telling us all how things really are. To his credit, Scott can tell a good story in person.
Second time was at a recent press event where he was in a sports coupe, I was in an SUV, and I lost my entire track session sitting in his mirrors waiting for him to have some situational awareness.
I have nothing against the man personally and I have been told that he is kind and decent.
As a writer, I think he could be replaced by a “mad libs” and a press release.
“As a writer, I think he could be replaced by a “mad libs” and a press release.”
that’s depressingly true of a *lot* of online auto “journalists.” I was involved in a automotive “media event” some time back, and it really surprised me how much of the “articles” following the event were just wordsmithing the media materials.
some people say the same thing of Acura as a brand
http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/254537_1922236549779_1658040012_2229306_7938676_n.jpg
My timesheet from when I went karting with some journos, Scott included. I believe he crashed on lap 1 resulting in a DNF.
My word that was hilarious. I don’t know the back-story, and I don’t care, because that was just hilarious. “program of eugenics at Petland stores..” Brilliant.
Jack: I don’t mind the insults about me, but please try to at least get the name of our publication correct: Crain’s Detroit Business.
When I write about super-popular websites with snarky but trenchant coverage of the auto industry and cars, I always make sure I spell “Jalopnik.com” correctly. ;)
SNAP
I like to think of Automotive Journalism as a tightly-controlled forum, and you, Jack, as the legendary forum troll who horrifies most of the forum regulars, greatly entertains the lurkers and the sporadic posters (AKA: readers and small time Blogspot-journalists), who, despite his massive trolling, somehow manages to never get banned from the forum (or just keeps coming back for more).
You entertain the hell out of me.
The Truth About Cars….where exactly does this drivel fit into that concept?
I find it pathetic when you write negative comments about other publications and contributors.
For what it is worth, Jack, I find your particular contributions on here to be rather low-life and generally I avoid them.
I wouldn’t generally snipe at you about it, it takes all sorts and I know others enjoy your posts but….well….when you are busy trying to put down others then I think you deserve a bit of a slap.
Really mate, you need to grow up a bit methinks.
I enjoy 90% of what Jack writes, but the personal attack posts really need to go. If a journalist skews the truth about international incidents or something, then sure, call them out on it publicly. But come on–it’s cars.
Yep, agreed it’s getting a bit tiring. Jack writes more than his share of amazingly insightful pieces on this site, but some of this recent stuff is just snarky and childish for no legitimate reason. I know you have a reputation to keep, but if I wanted to see children trying so hard to be funny, I’d stick to the Jalopnik comments section.
Btw, I think Autoblog has it’s place. The blog itself can be a little straight and boring sometimes, but it’s still the best aggregate online for keeping track of what’s what. I’m a big fan of the the Autoblog podcast…. it’s not as wooden as the site, and has a solid cast of personalities and opinions.
If Mr. Burgess can write with a fundamental grasp of syntax, grammar, punctuation and spelling, he will be miles ahead of the vast majority of auto blog scribes, TTAC contributors included, whose “writing” wouldn’t pass a third grade entrance and placement exam. I suspect the incessant snarky, chiding, petty, subjective opinioneering is little more than overcompensation for inadequate editing skills.
Hmmm. You’ve modified an adjective with an adjective and used a verb in place of an adjective. Perhaps Jack isn’t the only one in need of an editor.
I nominate Crapbox to serve as Editor Emeritus for all blogdom.
@SimonAlberta: on the contrary, these words seem genuine to me.
Jack doesn’t deserve a ‘slap’. No one (at least Gen ‘Why’) would’ve even known who Scott Burgess is without this post.
It is long recognized that, for example in ‘inner-city American’ subsets of society, if you didn’t want someone to be recognized, you simply respond, ‘Who?’ when their name is mentioned.
This article was obviously an homage to Scott and what he has hacked insofar. (‘For the record’, I have never read one of his articles, and probably never will). This was nothing more than respect among colleagues.
Jack, Scott and many others (who haven’t been bought by Detroit) represent a breed of people who write what they feel about the epitome of Freedom, the Automobile. The Freedom of travel at will.
In this age of smartphones and iPads, I fear the next generation will be relegated to flats next to light-rail stations. Until then, it is up them (and us?) to convey said Freedom.
Just sayin’…:)
Before stumbling onto this site I used to read Scott Burgess and his DetNews cohorts regularly off their website.
I remember, reading car books as a kid, the commentary was much more cutting, especially in Car & Driver. This was back at the end of the 60’s – beginning of the 70’s.
Yes some of it was sloppy…like that 1971 mini car comparo that Vega won…you can look it up both on this site and Curbside Classics. But I remember such barbs as the Monte Carlo introduction in Car & Driver (“it’s a stretched Chevelle”) or the Car Life full-size test that said the Ford LTD was aptly named – because it had limited capabilities.
In contrast, a lot of what you read nowadays reads like so much cheerleading, with just enough critical content mixed in so as to not appear totally compromised.
At least we have TTAC and sites like it for contrast.
Jack, I always enjoy reading your stuff and especially enjoy your exposes of the seedy underbelly of Auto-Journalism.
What’s worse, Detroit or Alabama?
You ever BEEN to Detroit?
Dude, I’m from there. The city itself is a festering, pussy boil on the buttocks of the planet. It’s a running sore. It’s a fat, old, ugly whore with with 6 teeth and a cold sore on her lip, in a faded, ragged, frayed orange satin prom dress from the 1950’s kind of a city. Disgusting, filthy, jarring, discordant, hate-filled, moody and resentful. It is a crime-filled, miserable, God-forsaken, unhealthy place, inhabited by rude, ignorant and clueless people, and it is a place wholely magnificent in it’s ugliness and utter lack of anything remotely redemptive. It is the worst example of liberal entitlement run completely amok to it’s inevitable, and irrevocable conclusion.
I once opined that we ought to line up about 1,000 big-bladed bulldozers on Outer Drive, facing Northeast, blade-to-blade and just push that entire, sordid, infected, bloody mess into Lake St. Clair. Except that would create a toxic waste site it would take a millenium for Old Mother Earth to regenerate.
In comparison? Alabama is paradise….
@Mark: To be honest, never been to Detroit. Probably never will.
That said, BIG +1!
Hi, gang. I think Scott might be going to work in Birmingham, MICHIGAN, a suburb of Detroit. I doubt even the mighty AOL pays moving expenses anymore.
Let’s engage in some uninformed speculation (the best kind!) here. It’s no secret that newspapers, generally, are losing money, even in prosperous, recession-proof places like The Capital of The Free World (aka, my home town). And it’s no secret that Greater Detroit is an economic basket case, a standout even in this Great Recession. And Mr. Burgess has been around for a while and, the DetN being a union (Newspaper Guild) paper, where pay is typically based on seniority, it’s probably safe to say that Mr. Burgess is well-paid among his colleagues.
So, the conclusion from all of this speculation is that, as is common in the newspaper industry these days, Mr. Burgess was offered some sort of buyout of his retirement package.
If I’m not mistaken, Warren Brown, took a similar deal from the Washington Post. I am acquainted with a guy in his late 50s who’s on the Post’s editorial board — they’ve cut him down to a less than 5-day week, with similar pay reduction. So, I know the Post is on hard times.
I’ve actually read a number of Mr. Burgess’s reviews, not because I’m a DetN subscriber but because the Washington Post-owned car sale web site cars.com links to his reviews (along with those of other daily newspaper scriveners). Given how low the bar is in the business for interesting writing, they’re not bad. And I don’t find him to consistently be a shill for the car under review . . . although I don’t recall him really coming down hard on anything . . . other than the Chrysler 200, which I would not have known about other than from this site’s reportage.
All-in-all, I have to say that, to this reader, even an amusingly written piece like this one is . . . well, you know. ;-)
So Scott Burgess drives his sunny road to redemption in an ’08 Sebring convertible – Mr. Mister wafting from the stereo as editorial careers slip slowly from view. Were this a less forgiving time he’d be forever “traveling the glove” (the elasticated bit that is I-94) in a Chrysler 200 – the aroma of road salt gently caressing the cabin air filter while Robert Preston swooned through the speakers of his love for Gary, Indiana.
I’ve just recently in the last week discovered TTAC and find it a very strange place. I can’t really put the vibe into words yet but it isn’t very welcoming to say the least.
Go browsing through the old Death Watch series if you want to note how mild this site is these days. Or, think of TTAC as your basic Georgia small town in the ’60s that ain’t all that sure about them long hair types…. And you seem like one of them there hippies. We’ll be watching you.
With the amount of attacking that TTAC is doing to other websites/authors, you might as well rename it to Jalopnik 2. The constantly attacking auto-journalists for getting perks (such as free cars, trips, etc…) is just getting tiring.
Really Jack, you’re the guy who was trolling the Motortrend’s Ed-Loh publicly over internet with your mom jokes and childish insults. You really have no right at all to attack other journalists.
TTAC reports on the auto business – deals, writers, et al. While I may not always agree with their opinion, it is usually quite entertaining to read.
Let’s look closely at what Baruth did above:
1. Called out Autoblog for hypocrisy (with numerous examples).
2. Helped announce drama queen Burgess’ move to AOL Auto.
Last I checked, websites aren’t democracies. If TTAC offends you, move on…like I did from Jalopnik and other sites.
If you’re looking for a perfect world, try Orlando.
Jack,
I know I am far off topic than OP, but I couldn’t help but share:
http://www.insideline.com/porsche/911/2013/next-porsche-911-gt3-may-come-with-pdk-gearbox-only.html
I think it is a sad day for Porsche.
What do you think?
Timm
Porsche has had too many sad days since 1998 for this one to stand out in particular, but it’s only fitting that the company somehow manage to defile the one production model they have that traditional Porsche fans can recommend without reservation.
I would be pleased to drive or own any of the GT3 models, but for the price of owning even a used one as a street car, I can race a cheaper car, and I’d rather be a racer than own *four* Porsches.
What is thei AOL that everyone is talking about?
Rock on Jack!
Jack you never fail to entertain.
Not that anyone cares, but I rented a Chrysler 200 this last weekend for $17 per day/unlimited miles. The car had 379 miles on it. I Picked it up Friday evening in L.A. drove it about 1,300 miles to Brian Head UT via Las Vegas to do some snowboarding/play some poker. And you know what: that car wasn’t half bad. Cruised at 80, returned 28 mpg on the highway. The seats were comfy, Sirius radio rocked, it even effortlessly handled 6 inches of snow. Even with 50 MPH winds on the drive back the thing was stable and quiet at speed.
Maybe Scott was too tough on the 200.
For those of you who said Jack’s personal insults are annoying or too harsh, you guys really need to dig the archives and search for Jack’s first attack on Scott, where Jack clearly does his research (and his crazy memory of who/wrote/what/where) on Scott’s earlier review of the universally hated Chrysler Sebring and coming out concluding the Sebring with words that wouldn’t quite fall out of place for a new E-Class.
Yet, after a full 3-4 years, with the rebirth of the greatly improved Chrysler 200, Scott criticizes certain aspects which he used to say was really good in the Sebring, to be absurd unacceptable in the 200.
It is this inconsistency of Scott’s both articles that made Jack decide that this Burger guy is one big helluva clown doing PR stunts and marketing himself around as the divine autojournogod.