Interested in meeting your least favorite TTAC author? Perhaps you’re a fan of my unique lyrical styles, or you’re a lonely female journalist stuck on the West Coast with a boyfriend who plays Goth music through a Les Paul that isn’t even from the f**king Custom Shop. Maybe you’re one of the GM forum loons who nearly crashed your ’96 Grand Am GT automatic into a Jersey barrier when you saw that my awesome article on the Crapillac ATS was translated into German, complete with fun illustrations, and now you want to choke me with the power of your massive, Cavalier-tattooed biceps. Failing all that, perhaps you’d like to appear in the next TTAC video?
Good news! I am doing an international tour during the next two weekends!
This upcoming Monday, June 25, we will be shooting the long-awaited sequel to our Hyundai Genesis 3.8 Track Test video at Toronto Motorsports Park. What are we testing? Well, disclosing the test car in advance is a bit of a scary notion, and I don’t know if I should reveal the secret or not. Come on out, meet the crew, and become famous!
Just four days later, Friday, June 29, at Buttonwillow Raceway Park, I will be working with the editors of Hooniverse to create an interesting story about doing racetrack instruction in, shall we say, an unexpected vehicle. After that, I’ll stick around to run the 24 Hours of LeMons in the Neon pictured above. I have every confidence that we will win by at least the 52-lap margin I put on Car and Driver’s cheating-ass, dirty-driving, low-talent team of inbreds back in ’07.
Stop by and say hello!
If you’re ever in the Seattle area, I’ll come out. Though, I shamefully play goth music on a Schecter C-1.
TOFU !!! TOFU !!!
Schecter … I’ll always think of Al Jourgensen and those dumb coffin guitars …
The C-1 looks like a Strat body. Like an RG, but not as pointy. It’s fantastic for black metal and blues. Odd combination.
Are you sure – perhaps you mean June 25th and 29th?
Corrected!
I’m going to have to try and make it out. Sounds like fun.
Any loose ranges of timings for this event? Or are you guys gonna be there 8-5 aka track hours?
We will be at TMP from 10am to 6pm. Buttonwillow I will be there any time the track is open, probably, Fri/Sat/Sun.
oh that illustration on the German site is epic. that’s worth a t-shirt or a framed print in your bedroom..
word.
Jack, why do you get to have all the fun?
“…who plays Goth music through a Les Paul that isn’t even from the f**king Custom Shop”
You mean the Custom-Price shop.
Seriously Though, my Duncan-equipped Indonesia-special sounds indistinguishable.
Jack, lemme know next time you head out to VIR man.
-James Mackintosh
The only thing better than reading the open letter about the ATS is to read the google translated from german to english open letter about the ATS. Pure Gold.
“Again, this figure shit. Do not sow your interest figures, boys.”
yes, priceless.
Automatic translators have gotten a bit better.
I broke it with “Vierzylinderschweinescheißebrikett”, which is a letter concoction you can only have in German, like “Doppelkupplungsschnellschaltgetriebe” (double-clutch quick shift gearbox).
Bring your party to a track in Florida (preferably Sebring and I will be there). I will be eagerly awaiting the discolosure of your “secret” next week
My Les Paul was made before the Custom Shop existed. So there.
Your Les Paul is probably not a boat anchor then
The guitars I play most often are my offshore beauties: a G&L Tribute and my Parker Hornet. My one custom-shop guitar gets occasional use, but I tend to baby it. And, whileI don’t abuse my guitars, worrying about scratches just ain’t rock and roll.
No, I don’t play Goth music. And my Gibson The Paul is my least-played guitar.
I play drunk bar jams with my R9 CC VOS #1 So there!
Actually, that whole sentence was a shout-out to a particular individual. :)
I assumed, but people need to know about my love of Joy Division and how great and special that makes me.
Son of a Toyota! Can you at least tell us if it’s a FR drivetrain Sports car?
mY imprEssion iS that we’ll just have to wait and see.
Are the imaginary girlfriends going to be there? If so, I will be too.
One imaginary girlfriend in Toronto guaranteed. Maybe two.
California I will be all alone, although the infamous Melisa Mae is likely to attend one day of the race to see, as Burt Bacharach would say, what’s it all about.
I used to be: Ibanez Iceman + Sunn Model T head + cabs usually used for bass. I could push some serious air with this.
OMIGOD OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD!!! THE Jack Baruth! I could just die!!!
Booking it off work. Can I track my Delica?
In Toronto — yes.
In California — probably, on Friday, with appropriate payment.
Hmm… I’ll be visiting friends in Ypsilanti all next week, might be cool to cruise over to Toronto. I’ll pack my passport and keep it in mind. Think they’d let me track my 1992 Roadtrek Popular?
Aw, who am I kidding, I’ll probably be having too many Baruthian adventures to break away, drive through Detroit and cross an international border just to go to a track with no trackable car to drive. The bachelor party on Friday night should be enough going to a _____ with no ___able ____ to ____ for one week.
Still looking forward to the video. It was 5 minutes into a testdrive of a Mazdaspeed3 that I realized (to my surprise) I didn’t even want a car that fast, but a little faster than my Fit would be good, and I’m not sure you can get too much low, grippy, nimble, or balanced.
I can come meet you but I can’t follow on Twitter? Boo!
Um, I have like 800 Twitter requests I haven’t approved… I will find yours :)
Jack, I’ll be at Buttonwillow and would love to meet and say hello/buy you a (insert favorite adult beverage here, even though there isn’t a good bar within 20 miles). I’ll be the old, fat, grey-bearded guy with the kids driving the fBMW/Clowntown Roadshow E30. (Judges think it is a cheater car, but in reality we’re all crappy drivers with good attitudes, so pose no threat to the leaderboard.) I’ll be sure to wave as you pass me – despite that Neon’s team having one exceedingly a-hole driver at their last appearance at B-willow in December!) ;)
Hah 3rd or 4th time looking at that picture and I just realized it’s painted in Green Bay Packer colors. Too funny, can’t believe I missed that until now.
saw this too late…can’t wait to hear about the next TMP event – I’m there!
Funny how they call it Toronto Motorsports Park when it’s actually located in Cayuga. Please provide more advanced notice for the next visit. And no, I’m not a member law enforcement or immigration.