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Most vanity plates are obscure, obnoxious or some combination of both. But this one is worthy of the Hall of Fame.
It takes a really sick, twisted sense of humor to put that plate, which references the British word for the male sex organ, on a gorgeous Audi Ur-Quattro. But we salute whoever had the, uhm, balls, to do so.
Have you ever seen a plate that can top this? Let us know.
101 Comments on “Question Of The Day: The Best Vanity Plate Of All Time...”
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That car will always look brilliant. I think I prefer the black with silver Quattro motifs.
I tried to get “VOID” but the Denver DMV would not do it. It would have saved me a bundle in parking, red light and photo radar tickets.
I think NULL would be a better choice to test the input validation on their database lookups.
@thirty-three:
Taking this to the extreme:
http://xkcd.com/327/
Personally, I’m looking for a state where “/dev/car” is a valid vanity plate.
I’m seen a vehicle with (I think) an Ontario plate which was “UNPLATED”.
There’s one in GA with “NOTAG”
Had to look that one up. I’d say facepalm but that is what bellend prevents.
I had to look it up as well, which probably explains how it got past the local DMV. I remain at a bit of loss about why it’s so great, other than the fact that it slipped by the bureaucrats.
I do recall seeing a licence plate: “TOP GUN” on an F150. The owner was drunk and drove off the road at a high rate of speed. The cops were joking that the plate should of read: WDD WKR (weed wacker).
The best vanity license plate I’ve ever seen was spotted on a black Crown Vic:
0FF1C1AL
The one that had me scratching my head was:
POOPY 2
Which begs the question: was there actually someone who already claimed POOPY 1?
Was it the second brown diesel AWD manual station wagon they had owned?
“was there actually someone who already claimed POOPY 1?”
Certainly possible, but both 1 and 2 are also homonyms, which alter the meanings a bit. And, poop is also known as number 2…
It was somewhat run into the ground on Jalop but it is tough to beat “Virginia EATSTHE Children First”
Well, they are part of a balanced breakfast.
Uhh, yeah, just how many babies are in this baby food?
It was historically accurate:
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/starving-settlers-in-jamestown-colony-resorted-to-cannibalism-46000815/?no-ist
That was my first thought. I’ve seen that car around. I believe the owner is either a 17th century re-enactor or is involved with one of the state historical sites.
Came to say the same thing. not normally a jalopnik fan, but
jalopnik.com/5724684
Yeah, VA is a gold mine for off-color plate innuendo.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2012/09/eat-the-kids-first-virginia.jpg
Some more:
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.urlesque.com/media/2011/02/funnylicenseplate1-1.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-u6GTUOtcrHY/Tz0U2LSFjyI/AAAAAAAACvw/P-Nyi6PEUn4/s1600/virginia-vagina-license_plate.jpg
California offered a similar “think of the children!” plate at one time where you could get a symbol as part of your vanity plate, like a heart or a handprint. Cheery grass and flowers scene.
I saw someone once who’d gotten CTH♥LHU.
I hate vanity plates, unless they’re real obvious, because most of the time you don’t know what the particular combination of numbers and letters is supposed to mean.
They’re essentially in-jokes.
What do you mean it’s unclear? It’s “A New Start”, how else could you read it?
http://penguinssauce.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/nustart.jpg
I enjoy the challenge of decoding them, even when the possibilities are unclear. Gives me a little something to chew on, mentally.
One of my absolute favorites was sported on an AMC Eagle wagon, just for all the telecoms nerds: RS232C.
I used to work with a Cisco CCIE…license plate “CONF T”
Ah, memories of holding coherent and intelligible conversations in various programming languages; thanks!
That seems like exactly the right car for that plate.
http://i.imgur.com/whuoINa.jpg
Toonces, the Driving Cat
Saw this and my morning got a little better
This is good.
http://i.imgur.com/Xft49ed.jpg
There will never be another vanity plate as perfect as this.
That’s perfect. Does that mean the dog gets to ride the car all the time?
A Chevy Avalanche with AZ tags seen near Phoenix a while back CMPNS8R.
Well… this is awkward.
Bell End would be more appropriate on an E85 (1st gen) BMW Z4. As from the profile it looks not unlike, well, I think you get the point.
Or on Ace and Gary’s Duocar.
bellend would be perfect for a brodozer
All things lead back to Jeremy Clarkson: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/top-gear/11148267/Jeremy-Clarkson-in-new-row-over-bellend-number-plate-in-Falklands-Porsche.html
There is a woman in our neighborhood who insists on parking her 15-year-old Lexus LS on the street. Not in the garage, not in the clear driveway, not even on a straight portion of the road. On a curb in the middle of a curve, which impacts visibility. Her vanity plate: MZQUNBEE. Not much of a Queen Bee if she can’t even afford a new car or a covered parking spot!
Which could start a side rant about the many people in my large neighborhood that blow $200k-400k on a house and keep their shiny new $50k trucks outside because their garages are filled with old junk they just can’t get rid of.
I once saw a Galant that had been given a full Pep Boys accessory job. The plate: FUTR CEO. Not by burning your money on stick-on chrome trim, you’re not.
Then you have Virginia, where vanity plates are everywhere.
I think their garages are filled with old junk they -won’t- get rid of. People are obsessed with keeping old sh!t they don’t need and will never use.
My mom does it, there are piles of papers all around the house. The story is always “Oh I’ll look through those eventually.”
I’m like yeah well the paper on the top of this pile is a football schedule for the high school, from 2007.
My wife and I are amateur astronomers which means we care about unnecessary outdoor lights. Our next door neighbor leaves his front porch lights on all night every night. His excuse is that two of his cars have been stolen out of his driveway. So far, I have refrained from suggesting that they wouldn’t get stolen if he parked them inside his garage.
I’m with you. Outside lights suck. Nothing like the blackness of a real night unmolested with light trespass….
They’re Super Cheap down here, that’s why. It’s like $10 extra for vanity, maybe $20 for a college/organization/professional sports team from Maryland-DC/crazy plate.
My alma mater in NJ has a Virgnia plate, which is crazy to me.
Is truck.
Can withstand weather.
Garages are for storage and workshop space, in my world, not for storing perfectly good, modern, rain-proof vehicles.
(Of course, I don’t live in a place it gets to 115 in the summer or -20 in the winter…)
“I once saw a Galant that had been given a full Pep Boys accessory job. The plate: FUTR CEO.”
I liked it for the irony. Maybe it was lost on Mr. Galant, maybe it wasn’t.
This may not count as a legit vanity plate but I did it to make fun of people who put euro plates on the front of their bmws.
https://instagram.com/p/TWPZR2rymG/
Names on the back of boats are a lot more fun than vanity plates on cars. My favorite “More Cowbell”
The “Chum Guzzler” and “All Hands on Dick” are my favorite nautical vessel names.
Awesome…….LOL!
And who could ever forget “Monkey Business”…
My neighbor races his sailboat:
Blew By You
1st gen xB: WTFABOX
Smart car: DEFRAGD
Nice
“Green Apple” on a green Honda Fit, “Hissy” on another
“Hurry Up” on a recent Shelby Mustang
“Nice, eh?” on a recent Camaro
“Jaguar” on a brand new Camry :(
“Chaagah”, “Charge”, “My Hemi” on recent Dodge Chargers
People that order “MY (anything)” for a license plate are morons. Moreso when the (anything) includes verbiage from one of the manufacturer’s badges.
“Are you aware, sir, that my vehicle is exactly what the badging indicates?
Forsooth, ’tis so!”
I once saw this in Car and Driver magazine during the 1980’s…
6ULDV8
Hard do beat this one: http://www.rx8club.com/attachments/rx-8-multimedia-photo-gallery-6/122846d1214603536-new-vanity-plate-wanker.jpg
(W [U of W] ANKER on an RX8.)
FRUGAL on a Ferrari 430.
I noticed at a Camaro show that there were a large number of vanity plates. I’m surprised that FALLYOU got past Lansing, but then so has BUKKAKE.
http://www.carsindepth.com/?p=10278
“…but then so has BUKKAKE.”
Somewhere, Bertel’s ears just perked up.
Gotta rock the Bukkake shield — i.e., the shaded sun vizor — while driving that one.
I would think this one would also catch his eye:
http://articles.dailypress.com/1997-04-23/news/9704230044_1_license-plate-vanity-license-lesbians
2Dykes….. they could re-apply for “2canchew” or “one8one”
That is quite an unfortunate license plate…I bet the car it’s attached to is always super dirty.
The best one for me ? It would have to be the “milfy looking blond” I’m not up on my Mercedes model. It was a convertible, and it looked very pricey. The plate “WASHIS”…
Pretty funny. I also saw a MILF in a Mercedes. Her plate “ONMYBACK” I really found that funny!
Urban legend says someone had this one in LA in the 1970s:
FAH Q
I once saw a Cessna Cardinal with the registration C-FAKQ. Search it up.
Apparently there’s less scrutiny of such things when it comes to aircraft.
Edit: here it is
http://www.airport-data.com/images/aircraft/small/000/334/334762.jpg
A guy who made a ton of money in shopping centers around here built himself a million dollar plus yacht and then called it FUJIMO, which legend has it standing for “Fu<k you Joanne, I'm Moving Out".
I wouldn’t say it’s the best, but I thought it was cool when I was in college (in Virginia where, as made clear above, vanity plates are legion). I often saw the car but did not know the driver who, I was told, was the scion of a family known as wealthy benefactors of my univ. He drove a Jag E-type and the plate was “1 FAST E” as I recall. Rather boastful and ostentatious, but as an 18-year old student with no car and aspirations to vintage fun, I was impressed.
NOFKSGVN
http://i.imgur.com/b9KZ8Ql.jpg
On her ’80s era Vanagon, my friend, Polly, has WHEEEE
I’m sure it’ll wash off…
The nicely kept Bay Area Honda Del Sol with the tags DEL FOG.
My beater Nissan had “HURTBOX” when I lived in Michigan. Very appropriate.
I used to think the best vanity plate I ever saw was: “IM1RU12”. Then I saw a photo online of a Porsche 911S turbo with the plate “C STDNT”.
A corporate CEO once explained that the boardrooms and executive offices are filled with “C” students who just learned the basics of systems and processes and how they fit together in business, and spent the rest of their time networking. When they became executives, they hired “B” students to manage those systems and processes. He noted that “A” students are in love with theory to the exclusion of practical experience, and are unemployable in business. All they can do is teach.
That Porsche plate was telling it like it is.
“That Porsche plate was telling it like it is.”
That’s a nice story for “C” students to tell themselves…
In Michigan, the joke goes:
What do University of Michigan graduates call Michigan State grads?
Boss.
At least the B students at Michigan State are smart enough to hire smart people.
I know of well-known dean at a certain Ivy League school who used to frequently remind his students that “D is for Diploma.”
I once saw a CAAR vanity plate on a Saab/
I am thinking of getting RAPTOR for my M235i. Only true BMW geeks will get that one.
If I ever bought a BMW, I’d get VEE TWO on the plates.
LUFTWFFE
Spotted on a new-ish BMW on Davie St in Vancouver:
R DR R
one for the math/Simpsons nerds :)
KLUNKR on an Audi TT 3.2 quatro yesterday. Judging by the date on the sticker it was 2 years old. I like to think this was its second set of plates.
Two around Atlanta in recent years have stuck with me: V G8S, on a 70s 2002. And H2EAU on a car I can’t remember.
to me ,this is sheer comedy..10 points!
http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l8ib0pcdSW1qcr8nzo1_500.jpg
and this one might attract 2dyke
http://s96.photobucket.com/user/mgrenoble/media/44jan23-virginia-agina-plate.jpg.html
I wonder if “MANGINA” would clear the censors?
I found these pearls:
http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/read/2/11722.html,page=all
http://www.dailyacid.com/2010/05/10-bad-personalized-license-plates.html
I knew a good one, but i forgot.
In the Bay Area, nerdy references abound on license plates; the nerdiest in recent memory was a Tesla with:
RFC 6762
but for nerdy cringeworthiness, nothing compares to the boat I once saw moored at Angel Island named the Sea Compiler.
NOYFB
As seen on a beat up old truck, driven by a pretty pissed off looking feller whom I wouldn’t dare ask how he got it past screening.
“I8UR4RE”
1FNGRL — seen several years ago on a white Lexus ES300. Food for thought . . .
Best one I’ve seen is a Tesla Model S with ‘Nikola’ on the plates.
In the 1980s, I went to UCI. Saw a nice new Mercedes SL with a delta-delta-delta license plate frame and the personalized plate: POP PAID
Also saw a car driving around with the personalized plate: MEAT BAR
That one had on the license plate frame top: my pulsating and on the bottom: up your ….
I don’t think that guy was able to keep that too long.
Once saw a hot woman in a sexy business outfit getting out of a yellow corvette. Turns out she was a divorce attorney who specialized in women getting divorced from the rich husband. The plate was
MANEATR
The best plate ever I ever saw was at a car show. It said POLLOCK and the guy put it on upside down… Best Ever!!!!
Spotted on an older S-Class in Florida: B1G 53X
Wife’s OB/GYN: WE DELVR
I got this one through our MoT for a Triumph TR6: SIXAPEAL.
I was told by a LEO that he actually ran the tags thinking it was fake.
NOT!
You’ve got to have fun with these things.
I saw a dark green convertible ’13 or ’14 corvette with the vanity plate “KKRAKEN”.
I thought it was pretty clever since the rear-end of that vehicle, especially in dark green, bears more than a passing resemblance of the kraken from the 1981 Clash of the Titans.