So I recently purchased this Hummer, which is a tremendously offensive automobile in the sense that it looks like the military has invaded our cities and is currently driving around getting the same fuel economy as a tugboat.
I figured, with my Hummer, that people would really hate me. What I thought would happen was, people would roll down their Prius window in traffic, and motion for me to roll down mine, and then berate me for several minutes about how I am a seal-killing gas guzzler, and a baby-destroying Republican, and an environment-ruining asshole, none of which I could hear because my engine is too loud. Then we would start up and drive away and they would win any drag race, because my Hummer is slower than a grandfather who’s learning how to downhill ski.
But that isn’t what happens. What happens is, people give me thumbs-ups. They wave. They smile. They tell me “Cool truck!” The other day some guy in a Chevy Avalanche offered to buy it, though I suspect he would’ve balked at the fact that this giant old piece of crap costs more than thirty grand.
In other words: people actually seem to like this thing.
I think part of it is the fact that I live in Philadelphia. Ultimately, this is something of a working-class city, and people kind of like cool trucks, and cool SUVs, and cool pickups, and they can tell this thing is a little older and a little different. A older, different truck that gets the same fuel economy as a tugboat.
I suspect it would be different if I were driving an H2. It’s very obvious to me that people can quickly spot the size and design differences between the original Hummer and the H2, because people are always saying things like: Look man! There’s an original Hummer! Or: Nice Hummer man, that’s the real deal! Whereas people look at an H2 and they assume it’s some guy who’s behind on his alimony payments.
As I result, I think people would probably be a lot more offended if I were driving around in an H2. I don’t think they’d necessarily say anything, of course, because this isn’t Northern California where people in plug-in vehicles feel that it’s their right to verbally harass people in gas guzzlers. But I would notice them glaring at me, disapprovingly, as I took up two lanes at traffic lights.
So today I’m asking you: what vehicle offends you the most? Is it the Hummer H2? Or is there some even more offensive vehicle that you just can’t help but slow down as you drive past in order to see what kind of idiot would buy it?
For me, the answer is twofold. Number one, any previous-generation Chrysler 200 or Dodge Avenger with a dealer plate frame or a bumper sticker. When there’s no plate frame and no bumper stickers, you can sort of assume it’s a rental car, and so you can’t really be too offended at the idea that someone might turn down the Camry, the Accord, a used Hyundai, an old Taurus, a bus pass, etc., in order to buy one of these things. But when there’s evidence that someone actually purchased this vehicle, you have to sit there and, as a car guy, take a little offense that someone would stoop to such a poor automotive decision.
Here’s another thing that pisses me off: every time I see a heavy-duty pickup in a big city.
A couple of months ago I was driving around Manhattan and I got up behind a guy in a fairly recent Chevrolet Silverado Dually; the kind of truck that’s so wide they have to put those little orange lights above the windshield to remind everyone that it may actually be a city bus.
Driving this thing in Manhattan must’ve been an absolutely nightmare, but here this guy was: cruising down Park Avenue dodging taxis and bicyclists as if he was just another old guy in a Saab 900.
So I used the Carfax app to run the guy’s plate number, and sure enough: this behemoth of an automobile was registered in New York, New York. In other words: this wasn’t some weekender down from the Catskills, taking a break from his usual job of hauling stuff and looking manly. This guy actually possessed this vehicle in New York City. Admittedly, he could’ve lived in Staten Island, but I think that would’ve only been a little less offensive.
So, what say you? Is there any car that makes your jaw drop with disgust when you see it on the street? Is there any car where you really want to walk over, tap on the window, and say: what the hell were you thinking?
“Smart” Car, followed by the Daewoo Spark (although props on the excellent crash rating of the latter).
x2 on the Smart Cars, I call them “Dumb Cars” mostly for the smugness of the name. I get them in terms of size in a small city, but something just rubs me wrong about them. The Spark at least is a little more normal and honest, just a tiny car.
If the “Smart” car actually got decent mileage I would have less of a problem with it.
@28, agree fully.
It isn’t efficient enough (I’d suspect due to the age of the things underneath) to make up for the penalty of driving such a small and not-nice to drive car.
There are larger options (especially in EU countries) which get better mileage.
For the US, it’s an out of place novelty. Just get a Fit. They look like a little Volvo now anyway.
Whenever we see one my wife always says “Hey look, there goes a Dumb Car.”
I recall seeing a Smart dealership off the QEW in Ontario and having a hearty laugh.
A few years back I looked into the Fit vs Smart. The Fit outclassed the Smart in every metric including fuel efficiency. I would guess the only metric that might apply to some rare people would be that Fit is too large on the outside. That said, no offense taken.
The jacked up monster truck inspired pickup trucks with the cliche’ peeing Calvin stickers, the chrome sitting female badged, loud mufflered, truck nutz, coal rollers, whose crankshafts would clear my head in a collision are the vehicles I am offended by, and much of that offense taken is due to how much of an actual menace they are to everyone else on the road in the event of collision, all for the sake of over hormoned showmanship.
I do not like them but I respect them because, think about it, it takes more balls to drive that in an urban environment than it does to drive a big pickup that never hauls anything.
Smart car=I am okay with being an individual.
Pickup= I do not need one but I am cool like everyone else.
About that pickup thing…it’s idiots that roll coal…actually, wait…I think it’s not a vehicle at all, it’s vehicles that have a ” metal mulisha” sticker is the back…or ” mental midget ” or whatever it says…it guarantees you the owner / driver is an asshat, and they mostly drive lifted trucks, so there you goo…..get rid of the sticker, everyone is happy happy joy joy.
The rolling coal idiots offend me, but what really offends me is that it is getting to the point where I have to buy a double cab pickup when I don’t want or need one.
John
I call them “Dum-Dums”, like the cheap little suckers.
I have a bigger issue with Smart drivers than the cars themselves.
For what it’s worth it is a German mid-engine rear wheel drive car for like $13K.
The least expensive rear wheel drive car in America, and the least expensive mid-engine car by a wide margin with the Boxster coming in next.
The robo-manual sucks, but next year’s version has a proper manual and a wider track.
And I have to see one every day. My coworker just bought a used one at the beginning of the year.
Although in his case it makes some sense. He just uses it to drive 3 miles to work and turns it off, and then 3 miles back to go home where it is promptly turned off. On paper other compacts get as good or better mileage, but he had those before. A Kia Spectra and a VW New Beetle. They got terrible mileage under that sort of abuse. Like mid teens bad. So far the Smart has proven to not mind being driven a very short distance and getting turned off right away and gets mid-20’s. That’s not great, but considering his peculiar commute it’s better than the alternatives.
Why does mileage matter if you’re driving 6 miles a day?
With $3/gallon fuel the difference between 15 and 25 mpg is $16 per month. It would take years just to breakeven on the sales tax for the Smart.
The only advantage is the incredibly small packaging which doesn’t outweigh the numerous disadvantages including subpar mileage for something of its size. If you live in a place where “Smart” is your best option for parking, I say either move or make Uber your friend.
If phenomenal mileage was there, I could see the dumb car turning into a meme of some kind, but since its not why is this a thing again?
I’ll give Smart cars one consideration: parking. If you park on the street, there’s a spot for a Smart where there would be for no other car; if you park in a garage, you can have two Smarts, or a Smart and a ping pong table. I can understand that.
I’ve seen offers of $5 parking for smart cars (versus $15 for “real” cars”) – a tempting offer if I had to regularly drive downtown.
With a 6 mile commute and $3/gal, he spends $24/month on the mid-teens mpg car and $14/month on the Smart.
So he’s driving a Smart to save $10/month?
When you have a 6 mile commute (I actually do as well) just don’t give any facks about your mpg. Doesn’t matter enough to sacrifice driving the car you want.
“On paper other compacts get as good or better mileage, but he had those before. A Kia Spectra and a VW New Beetle.”
Well, let’s see … compacts with good mileage …
That will be Fit/Civic/Yaris/Corolla/Focus.
Face it, this guy is just a weirdo.
You can bike three miles. That’s an absurd distance to drive.
Do you bike those miles to work on snow covered roads at 20F every winter?
I live in Denmark. It’s cold here too.
I do it on snow covered roads at -20 every winter. Much more manly than driving a hummer!
Normally you are right and I would agree. However the coworker in question is in his mid 70’s and it is Texas. Biking three miles from May to September at his age is inviting heat stroke.
Plus Dallas is not a friendly place to bike. The side walks are minimal and the drivers hostile to cyclists.
You have to live in Texas for a while to appreciate the intensity of the heat. I grew up in Washington DC, without air conditioning in either house or car. I figured I was ready for Texas. Wrong-o. After one summer and fall in Houston, I sold my VW for a car that was air conditioned.
Your friend seems like the ideal candidate for an inexpensive EV or a sorta-EV like the Volt.
Plus the stink.
The “Not So Smart” car. I figured they got 70 MPG when I first saw one. Not sure what the point is of owning one in the US.
Exactly.
Because there are places in the US too where parking is an unholy nightmare. And parking is THE reason the Smart exists, fuel economy in an inner city is utterly irrelevant. In the more rational parts of the world, 95% of them are diesel and do get 50mph anyway.
Smart Cars are actually wonderful if you’re in urban European cities, and only because they can park so much easier. In the US they make no sense.
@rolosrevenge – Exactly, If I had to drive into Paris everyday and find a place to park then I could see owning one.
There is very little difference between the inner cities of older cities in the US and Europe. Boston can give Paris a run for parking pain any day. San Francisco is as bad or worse. Even my own little burg of Portland Maine COMPLETELY sucks for parking in tourist season. And winter too for that matter. A lot easier to stash a Smart somewhere during a parking ban.
Aside – they call it tourist season, why can’t we hunt them?
Sorry to break in to the replies here but what happened to Lie2Me ? Was he banned? If so what was the reason?
Good question. I don’t know.
Just take away the a in “Smart” and you get Smrt which means death in Serbian. Suddenly Smarts are much more amusing, as is the golf bag carrier that defines their best use.
Not only in Serbian, in Czech as well (and I suspect few other Slavic languages as well – certainly Slovak, probably Croatian).
Even the diesels?
Every car is beautiful in its own way.
I wouldn’t go that far, but nothing offends me. Some I think are silly or goofy looking or impractical, but I can’t think of anything that is really offensive.
I’d take an ‘ugly’ car over an ‘inoffensive’ car any day. I am offended by boring cars.
Some look their very best after being compacted at the recycler’s.
Range Rover Evoque. Of all vehicles being built now, it’s the one that is built most purely to project an image. It’s the yappy Shih Tzu of cars. Functionally, it’s a terrible CUV in many ways, and a Lincoln MKC or Acura RDX is a vastly better product for around the same price. I get irrationally angry when I see them.
Second place goes to any vehicle with intentionally removed or crippled emissions equipment.
Yes. Disgusting. Finish crushing it.
No no no, that distinction goes to the Mercedes G Wagen (as commonly equipped). It also gets worse as you go from AMG to Renntech. It says “As I sit in this Boca Raton jail awaiting my slap on the wrist for killing your whole family in my 650hp/5600lb hurtling bomb, I’ll only be worrying about my offshore accounts, and…can I get WiFi in here?”
At least with some different brake hardware and rolling stock the G-Wagen could in theory have a purpose.
There is no way you could make an Evoque into something with a purpose.
Well the G-Wagon was a military veichle to start with, the Evoque was started as a automotive Tart for Tart’s.
Haha in Russia a black G Wagen carries quite a different ‘air,’ at least it did in the late 90s-early 2000s. It’s more like “I’ll park right out front of the Sheremetyevo Airport to pick up my ‘bratki’ (brothers), and airport security and police won’t dare say a word or leave a ticket.”
I disagree. Evoque is a brilliant vehicle. It is nearly as comfy inside as “big Range”, at least for those in front. It’s fairly capable off-road (for a CUV), and it’s reasonably fun to drive. This makes it a vastly better alternative to a big Range Rover for someone who doesn’t need the huge space.
Doug, is that you?
The X6. It is utterly offensive in almost every way.
Yea I logged in to say X6.
By the way I said this, because the article was posted under Mark Stevenson originally.
I think he don’t work here no more.
“The X6. It is utterly offensive in almost every way.”
Yes. This is a good call. Rumor is the word ‘Fugly’ was crafted specifically for use in describing the X6.
I think the Nissan Juke is far worse. At least the X-6 is a refined tank despite its looks. I can’t figure the reason for the Juke.
How much does the Juke cost?
How much does the X6 cost?
The bar is substantially higher for looks in expensive cars. Cheapo cars can afford to be funky and weird. It’s cool. (See Citroen 1970-2008)
But surely, at least among BMWs, the X6 is topped by the 5GT in terms of ridicule.
Nah. The X6 is worse. The 5GT looks bad, but at least it’s got a lot of room and a comfortable interior from the 7er. The X6 is just as ugly and doesn’t have those advantages.
X6 is a good call, but I logged on to berate the Honda…what’s it called…Crosstour? Monstrous. It has a more ungainly rear end than Melissa McCarthy.
+100 on Crosstour. They make me want to barf. Just as ugly as an Astek.
The Crosstour may be very, very ugly, but it’s a beauty queen compared to its evil twin, the abominable Acura ZDX.
The Acura ZDX seemed to take the X6 design and make it more ugly. My eyes hurt when I see one (thankfully not often).
Being offended is a choice; no vehicle offends me. I don’t care what anyone drives.
But I am put off by some of the messages people put on them, starting with “COEXIST” stickers. No offense.
Yeah, I’m with you on this. Whether it’s a hippymobile carrying 40 bumperstickers about abortion, the earth or whatever, or 2002 318i with a ‘Viva Bush’ sticker, people need to end the bumper sticker craze.
The ONLY sticker worth having is one that says “Texting” with a red circle and line through it, because people are crappy enough drivers already. Adding yet another distraction makes it downright suicidal to attempt a drive on the Ventura Fwy at ANY time.
Of all the belligerent, intentionally provocative, insulting, and trite bumper stickers I’ve seen, I have to say COEXIST is the one I’d have to try hardest to be put off by.
Although I did have a single No One Died When Clinton Lied sticker neatly centered above the brake light on my back window, circa 2003. that one was fun, but I don’t use bumper stickers anymore.
I do appreciate the version with gun manufacturers, though.
I ESPECIALLY hate cars filled up with bumper stickers.. Worst I’ve ever seen was a 95 civic filled with them. I was never a fan of Bush but her anti-bush stickers were just plain offensive
Coexist sticker doesn’t offend me, those “My kid can beat up your honor roll student” and confederate flag stickers do.
My fav is: “My kid knocked up your honor student”
Even in the Northeast, I see “that” flag a lot more than I’d like to.
At least if Jeb somehow manages to win the primary and general, all the cars I see around Baltimore with Impeach Bush stickers will once again be current.
Totally off topic but I love the way they take the name John Ellis Bush to form the, shall I say commoner friendly moniker “Jeb”. Just the thing to appeal to what Ms. Palin referred to as “Real Americans” in her 2008 campaign speeches. Yup Jeb is just a down home good ol’ boy from a multimillionaire political and economic family dynasty.
I don’t mind any vehicles in particular, but there are some vehicle that are more likely to have idiotic drivers. Currently my pet peeve vehicle is the monster truck driven by young guys who either don’t see me, or purposely try to run me over.
The top vehicle for the idiotic driver question is probably the Veloster. Or a Honda Pilot with a woman on the phone behind the wheel.
The latter example (two different ones) nearly ran into me on a single 25 minute journey home the other day.
Yes, these dolts have no regard for people driving smaller cars, let alone motorcycle drivers. You really do have to have, like, seven or eight pair of eyes and a sixth sense to survive a motorcycle drive.
Yeah, ultimately, I think that no specific vehicle actually offends me. How they are driven does, however, as well as how they are modified to be louder, more polluting (in theory more powerful?) or less safe (raised trucks, for instance.)
I am also offended by vehicles designed to not have clear visibility in all directions. Which is all of them nowadays.
This. There are certain vehicles that I scoff at due to the fact I think they are hideous or pointless, but whatever that’s the owner’s choice. It’s more what people do to their cars that offends me.
#1 are giant trucks with lift kits and huge tires on the expressway. Firstly, that’s got to be a horrible ride. Secondly, it’s about 95% accurate in my experience that the bigger/more modded the truck, the bigger the tool driving it. They usually drive very aggressively, weave traffic, and have utter disregard for others in traffic. I see them and try to steer clear.
#2 are tinted out cars. Same rule with the trucks, basically. More tint seems to equal a driver who thinks he’s in a race car and F you if you’re in his way.
#3 are the stance crowd. Stretch/poke/camber… All of the can take their unsafe clapped-out looking cars and drive into a ditch. Blech.
I saw a tastefully lowered Passat recently with a “SORTAFLUSH” bumper sticker. I laughed.
Ok, I could be ok with that because the driver had a sense of humor about it. I do think some cars look ok with a slight lowering.
A couple weeks ago driving from Chicago I saw a current model accord with the full slam/stretch/camber treatment weaving through traffic at about 80mph. I was about to call the cops on him but didn’t think it’d be too fruitful and Chicago police probably have better things to do than look for that tool.
You’d be on the phone all day in Chicago if you reported every tool that was doing that in their clapped out Oldsmobile on 22s.
I’d say any late-model German luxury car with a thick layer of brake dust coating the front wheels.
I too hate dirty wheels, and in particular on luxury cars. I think for many drivers it has never occurred to them that you are supposed to wash wheels.
Hey, it’s not like it’s done intentionally! Having just purchased a somewhat modern used giant German barge, I’ve had it exaclty two days and the wheels are a freaking MESS. I guess I’ll try some ceramic pads, but this fat kraut is heavy and presumably chewing up the pads like they were kuchen.
OEM pads on German makes (or at least BMW) do throw a ton of dust, but it’s the really thick layer of dust that gets to me. When the wheels turn metallic brown and you aren’t sure if it can be removed even if the owner wanted to try.
Those pads are surprisingly durable considering the amount of dust they cause.
I owned a late model VW and a late model BMW at the same time…both bought new. BMW blew Grapes of Wrath levels of dust. VW, none. Zero. Couldn’t even find it. Odd.
No brake dust on my ’11 328i – it came with ceramic pads from the factory. No idea if that is an across the board thing though. Haven’t heard any complaints on the 2-series board, so I am guessing that car does too. Will see in about four more months.
Nice BMW! Wait, did you paint your front wheels brown or something?
I have a late model Benz and they just do that. Next day after the car wash we have front brake dust. Soft pads and I drive hard!
And then there are the people that paint their wheels flat black to make them look like they are covered in brake dust. I don’t get it.
I saw a raptor today. I like raptors. But this one had custom wheels with more offset than stock, which required additional fender flares on top of the original flares. All I could think was: moron.
Nothing particularly offends me other than people driving poorly.
Raptor drivers for some reason seem to think that their lifted, overpowered trucks are designed to handle like Ferraris just because they have wide bodies and wide tires. I saw one flip the other day because he tried to pass and in front of someone at 80 MPH to avoid being slowed by a semitrailer truck in his own lane.
Overall, I’m appalled at how people in large vehicles drive. People in large trucks and SUVs like to exploit their size advantages by bullying those in smaller cars, which is liable to get the people in those smaller cars hurt.
So true. Especially those with brush guards and/or skid plates in the front.
Big truck=small sch..ng, just saying.
Just to Clear things up most raptors are not lifted, or over powered, they come form the factory with 35″ tires yet only sit a total of 2″ taller than comparable standard f150s but they weigh more despite the front panels being entirely made out of plastic/fiberglass stuff to save weight and the skin plates weighing a lot and being lower to the ground combined with wider track really helps the truck in the handling department. As for being over power my Raptor has 320hp, defiantly over powered. In fact a v6 Camry will destroy a 6.2 raptor to 60 mph with a time of 5.8 seconds, 8 seconds for the standard version compared to the Raptors 8.5 for the 5.4L and 6.5 for the 6.2L. another words the raptors are very slow, in fact ecoboost f150s are faster. Im just wondering if you have ever driven or been in a Raptor.I will not comment on the Accident itself as i was not a witness to the event.
I actually don’t mind raptors because they can do lots of cool shit offroad. I don’t like trucks that have enormous lift kits, stacks, or that “roll coal”. Most of the time those trucks aren’t used off road and their extreme height is a serious safety hazard for the drivers and anyone unlucky enough to get hit by one. So I say, if you drive a raptor, you get a pass. For the record, I drive a Frontier with slightly larger all-terrain tires which gives me maybe 1″ of lift. I don’t want, nor need anything more.
My wife is a nurse and every time she spots a Raptor, she goes “look there goes the man with the worlds smallest penis”. It’s usually some shaved head guy, military or cop wannabe with a boatload of brush guards and/or camo crap. I think she’s right…
My wife is not a nurse (she’s an occupational therapist), and she has driven a Raptor on numerous occiasions. If we had the room in our driveway, she’d drive a Raptor. She does not have a penis though, so I cannot help confirm or deny ther stereotype.
Or does she just have the worlds smallest? Think about it.
I get a compliment everytime someone hops into one of my trucks, whether H1,2, or even 3. The H2 being the best DD, it gets the most compliments but I’m sure the others would get just as much.
You have a weird hatred of H2s as I’ve come to notice, try it before you hate on it, it’s almost as much fun as the H1 but without the costs, ride, noise… Etc. The dirtier it is the more compliments you get, I’m sure I would get hate if I were one of the people that put low profile on an 8 lug 6,400 lb SUV. Having A/T or M/T assures compliments.
Oh, I didn’t realize you had all three. That’s pretty neat.
+1 Cool!
I have two of each(kinda).
One H1 is good to go anytime but not often used, the other is completely tore down trying to clean it up and do a light restoration.
One H2 is my original first one, and on and off DD, the other I just leave at my parents and pay the insurance in case they want to tow or drive it, basically it’s theirs but I pay for insurance, taxes, and hold the documents.
One H3 is the extra car if needed, the other H3T has been officially removed from use after I found out how rare the combo of options it is, best left for the kids to do as they please with.
Realistically if I ever get the open top H1 finished the other may go, don’t get me wrong, I love it, but that’s an extra cost that doesn’t need to exist when I have another.
Yes I have a (few) problem(s).
Problems? You can never have too many cars, especially multiple models of the same brand. That just means you’re extra-devoted.
@Kyree
This couple should be your hero.
–>https://youtu.be/gw9OurM6OcY <–
My dad commuted to TDY with a guy who had an H2 and my dad absolutely loved it. Said it was the most comfortable car he’d ever rode in. TDY was ~4 hours away so it really helped. I think they look ridiculous but other than the offensively named “SMART” (yes I know it is a portmanteau) other peoples’ cars don’t bother me.
While I have no desire to own an H2, I had a neighbor who had one blinged out, and he kept it spotless. It’s a great driveway ornament, always made me smile when I saw it.
There is something about when you see someone in a spotless version of something which is normally not so.
A couple months ago I was getting fuel one evening, and up next to me pulls an absolutely perfect, spotlessly clean circa 2002 Escalade, black over parchment, with gold pinstripe. Under the driver’s door was actually the old lettering like they used to do in the 70’s, and it said “B.A. Walton” A conservatively dressed and unfriendly looking older man got out and quickly fueled up. His license plate was “WALTON7” if I recall correctly.
I am convinced he’s a member of the Wal-Mart Walton family.
I get offended by abused, clapped out versions of my own cars. I like to keep my ole LS400 pristine, so whenever I see a filthy, banged and scraped up, hazed-headlighted example of one I feel like yelling at the driver to show some respect!
Saw an eye-wateringly perfect first gen Q45t in a cream/white driving home from NYC on I80 this past weekend, piloted by an older gent who was more than likely the original owner. Made me smile.
I bet that looked very dignified. Hope it had the mesh style wheels!
@Corey
it most certainly did, being a ‘touring’ variant and all. Coincidentally saw an old J30t, in much less cared for condition, back in Indiana. It too had the mesh wheels and small trunklid spoiler. Spoiler on a J30 trunk sort of ruins the whole style of that car IMO.
I think the spoiler was certainly a factory option, and I agree it ruins it. That car is too smooth for any tack-on parts.
It seems like to me the J30 was not built to the same standard as the Q, or even possibly the G20. The J was worn out long before either of those other two. Rust, failing paint, failing interiors – the lot.
H2s are pretty cool. A family in my old neighborhood around 2006 or so drove a H2 and a Chrysler 300C.
They were not into subtlety.
The H1 is the real deal. The H2 rides better, but a Tahoe (i.e. H2 without the costume) rides even better, does not look like the Hummer version of a Fiero with a Lambo kit, and blends in (are you a cop? are you a fed? are you a middle-manager?) instead of making you look like a Creatine addict that can’t afford a real H1 (an especially unfortunate generalization people are making about you if you can).
“You have a weird hatred of H2s as I’ve come to notice” – It’s kind of like how people with air-cooled 911s frown on Cayennes. Except that the Cayenne saved Porsche instead of turning it into an orphan brand.
Maybe it makes you feel better to justify it to yourself, but I’m sure your well aware the Tahoe is in no way similar to any Hummer on the road, and I highly doubt the stereotype you believe the H2 carries is still alive in any form. These trucks are getting up there in age, a bro wouldn’t be caught in something this old.
But you know, some people go to cheese festivals and claim it all tastes like the presliced individually packaged cheese from the grocery; and some people go to automotive sites and basically do the same about something they have no experience with. Either way it’s really ignorant. Glad it bothers you so much though.
Can you provide the list of differences that GM provided for the H2 and Tahoe platform mates? I love seeing it cited.
Bros have moved in to Raptors if they have cash flow, but I am sure some still have the H2.
I test drove an H2 when I was looking for a full size BOF SUV for my wife and it was my least favorite, even less than the Ford/Lincoln platform.
I get the H1 all day but cannot understand the H2 vs. a Tahoe or the H3 vs. an Xterra, Frontier or Colorado.
I’ve done this before, I was assuming you were just being a pain.
Here,
Chassis
http://www.lynchhummer.com/h2pages/h2chassis.html
Powertrain
http://www.lynchhummer.com/h2pages/powertrain.html
Body
http://www.lynchhummer.com/h2pages/body.html
I would hope it would tests unfavorably compared to a Nav or other lux SUV, this is on 3/4 chassis/running gear, it shouldn’t be as comfy by very nature.
As far as the H3 over the pathfinder/Xterra, the H3 offered front and rear differential lockers from the factory, more UCP, dealer availible rocker protectors, better gearing, optional V8, I have no clue how Nissans warranty worked, but Hummer warrantied any problems even if they happened offroad, I don’t think even Jeep does that.
Here’s your short list on the deuce.(though I feel I’ve done this for you before)
2,200 lb payload
~35 inch factory tires
Standard rear locker
Full time 4WD
The H2 is the exact same length as the current GC, which is shorter than a Tahoe.
8 lug 3/4 axles
Made by AM General
I really don’t understand why people are so antagonistic toward the H2. People claim that they’re just a Tahoe; but if they took any time to actually check their facts, they’d realize that not even the commonly cited fallacy that they share a frame is true. They were even built by AM General, right new door to the H1. People say, “The H1 is the only real Hummer”. Yeah, but it’s one of the most impractical vehicles ever made. Nobody’s arguing that the H2 is more capable or better performing than the H1; but it definitely did do what it was supposed to do – be a practical, daily-drivable, reliable, and affordable addition to the Hummer brand. The fact that a bunch a douchey raper-wannabes with a chrome fetish bought them back in the day doesn’t make it an inherently bad vehicle.
Nissan Juke. How anything that ugly ever gets past the design phase and into production, I will never understand.
Ditto, looks like a frog and that’s insulting frogs.
I think the people who did the Juke got fired and went to Toyota.
In a word, None. Even though I despise certain brands for their apparent lack of quality control, I’m not offended by any car I see–so far… and after more than 40 years of driving. On the other hand, there are some few cars that I absolutely love for the design and style, even though grossly obsolete and dangerous by today’s standards.
Ok, I have to correct myself. I will admit to being offended by American full-sized pickup trucks today. They’re bloated road whales bigger than any of their half-ton predecessors and garnished by ridiculously hideous grills that try to pretend these things are big-rig class 6-8 trucks. Even 15 years ago they didn’t look nearly as bad.
Yap.
Don’t pretend it doesn’t consume a large part of your daily existence. You’ve got a website dedicated to it.. “RoadWhales” ring a bell???
Lol, only American full size trucks? Because the Tundra is so small and pretty? Oh, its a TOYOTA, thats why. Probably gets 45 mpg and will last 400k on a single oil change. Yep, its the stupid Americans who cant design a decent truck, crush em all and let the contractors drive hatchbacks.
At least quite a few of the American trucks on the road actually work for a living. Drive by a construction site or venture into the woods to a logging operation and tell me how many Tundras you see (that arent just obvious commuters).
I love it when people complain about full size trucks. Theyre SO BIG. Not really, they just look bigger because most are 4 door crew cabs now, a body style limited to heavy duty trucks in the 1990s and previously. Park an extended cab Silverado 1/2 ton next to a ten year old example. Theyre not that much bigger, certainly no more so than how much bigger a Camry or Accord is compared to what they used to be. But, nobody complains about that. Newer trucks get much better MPG than older models did, so what is the big deal if the cab is larger for a roomier interior? Its just….so…..AMERICAN! How offensive!
Those ultra tall pickups that should be illegal, they could actually drive over a low car like mine and crush me and my family
Similarly, any vehicle with a lift kit. Maybe it isn’t as excessively dangerous to anyone not in a large SUV or pickup as it looks, but I’m not sure how those things aren’t immediately impounded.
That’s what I meant B & B
While we are at it we should also limit brush guards and skid plates to off-road use only.
How is it that my car becomes non-street legal with certain performance tires, but pick up trucks can drive around with implements designed to smash and/or crush whatever is in front of them?
Because trucks have different rules in most states, in Fl you are allowed to carry people, (kids also) in the bed of a pickup with zero protection at all.
“While we are at it we should also limit brush guards and skid plates to off-road use only.”
Oh no! Skid plates!!! I better start disassembling my factory stock 4Runner, lest my gas tank or transfer case skid plates decapitate some children. This is like Carolyn McCarthy going after barrel shrouds on guns, you know, “the shoulder thing that goes up.”
Your user name is fitting :)
+1 I hate lifted trucks the MOST – the whole concept is INSANE.
– Generally any large, SUV-like vehicle that has clearly never seen a construction site, an off road trail or towing duty. So much waste.
– Honda’s with coffee can exhausts, Integras or Eclipses that have been modded to death. aka Fast and Furious wanna be.
– Donks… you know the older cars with 22″ bling rims. So stupid you have to assume the driver is higher then a kite all the time.
– Any car with terribly faded paint or in clearly piss-poor condition (bald tires, bits falling off, non functional tail lights, etc). I wish car inspections would come back and get some of these heap off the road, they are down right dangerous.
What a bunch of crap. Fadded paint is SO dangerous! Oh, the humanity! Why dont those rich people driving beat up Pontiac 6000s and Plymouth Acclaims just buy a new car already?! I mean, because you can afford one, so can they, right?
Its great to hear the elitest talking about the lesser folks and what they drive. You think just because you have money, screw those that dont. Its their choice to drive an old Tempo with different color doors on one side, right? If only theyd say “screw paying for food, paying bills, buying my kids clothes, Imma strap myself down to 84 months of hell so nobody will be offended by my fadded paint and missing rocker trim.”
About Donks, your generalization is quite amusing. Actually when I go to the annual block party, those driving them tend to be hard workers dedicated to making their car what they want. So they choose to spend money on an Oldsmobile 88 Broughm instead of a Chevelle or Mustang, thats just fine with me.
Most have more of their own work in their own cars than those who drive a “custom import” with cut springs, fart can and a rear bumper so black with soot that youd think it belonged on a diesel bus. And its not like the ricers dont smoke weed, most do much worse. I see many of them that look so twacked out on meth (crack? heroin?), its best to just leave them alone less their head explode while trying to decide between a 20oz and a 32oz at the 7-11.
Faded paint tells me: I don’t care about maintenance. I try to avoid people who don’t have working brakes. It has nothing to do with money, its a pride in ownership thing. My truck is 13 years old, it looks decent because I care.
As far as donks go its just a “mine is bigger then yours” contest, which normally I could care less about. I get the whole car show thing and love the creativity. However the end result is totally compromised handling. So I gotta question the decision making there.
I have to agree here. I didn’t find the comment “elitist”. I understand that not everyone can afford a new car; but when I see a car on the road that is filthy from bumper to bumper and literally falling apart, I just don’t get it. Somewhere along the way, some one had so make the conscious decision to stop all maintenance, and start abusing it. They paid for that vehicle with their hard earned money; and that’s how they treat it? It shows a lack of pride in their own property, and lack of acknowledgement of the very privilege of owning that property. Anyone of any economic standing can set aside the small amount of time it takes perform basic maintenance on their car. It’s the choice not to that I don’t understand
I think you mentioned living in Florida once. Sorry that every other car in your state falls into a hate category.
One car that definitely offends me from a design standpoint is the Honda Accord Crosstour, but seeing as how they’re eliminating it, I now just have to wait for all the ones currently on the road to disintegrate (too bad they’re not German, or that’d happen a lot sooner).
I’m not so much annoyed by suburbanites driving Suburbans while distracted as I am by jerks who knowingly and deliberately engage in dangerous behavior. Generally, then, I get offended by cars that I see driven by the same kind of inconsiderate moron, which is usually someone who tailgates me because I’m not “passing fast enough”, and these cars make me cringe as soon as I see them. Here’s a list:
– Ford F-150 SVT Raptor
– Any truck with an aftermarket lift
– 1993-2001 Dodge Ram.
– Jeep Wrangler 4 Door (especially if covered in bed-liner)
– slammed 90s Hondas
– 2010-2014 Chevy Camaro in Synergy Green (I think the Camaro stopped offering that paint color for MY2015)
– E46 3-Series coupe
– Infiniti G Coupe (chosen mascot of the Bro-Dude Clan)
– 2004-2006 Pontiac GTO (chosen mascot of the Trailer Trash Clan)
– People who put HIDs on cars not meant for them
– Dodge Challenger (especially the SXT, for some reason)
Surprisingly, I’ve found Mustang drivers of all trims and vintages to be a friendly and considerate bunch on the road, which gives me less trepidation about possibly buying a new one as a second car.
Lotta hate there.
Haha…I don’t hate the cars or even the people that drive them. I just have to cringe every time I see one approaching in the rearview mirror, because I know what’s coming. I try to stay out of their way, but that doesn’t always work. What’s worse is that they’ll even tailgate and drive aggressively in heavy traffic. “Does it *look* like I can go any faster, you fool?”
I can add to that list of cars likely to be driven aggressively in heavy traffic…everything on the road.
That said, I find pickup drivers the most frequent offenders. :-)
As the driver of a large Infiniti, I will agree with you on the drivers of those coupes.
Whenever I see that harsh bluish glare, I know what I’m going to get.
People, just don’t put HIDs in reflector housings not designed for them. You’ll get horrible illumination and blind everyone.
Factory HIDs and most conversions in projector housings are fine.
@Kyree: Why the Jeep JKU (4-door Wrangler) and what’s this about “covered in bed-liner”? If you’re talking about the non-body-colored hardtop, that’s not bed-liner; that’s a fiberglass top with a textured paint which is how they came before they started the body-color craze in ’09 or ’10. Personally, I don’t like the body-colored hardtop or really any hardtop on a Wrangler, as I sold my hardtop about 6 months after I put the soft top on it and that was less than six months after buying the Wrangler.
No, the going trend is to literally cover the entirety of the vehicle in bed-liner, like so:
http://chuxtrux.com/images/F86402891.jpg
I’ve also seen people do this with newer pickup trucks.
As far as why I don’t like the 4-door Wrangler, it’s just because of the ignorant way that people drive it.
I have to admit I’ve never seen that before. Not only is it hideous, but it kills the very concept of what the Jeep is about. That thing’s gotta be an oven in the summertime.
What bothers me are the jacked up and tricked out Wrangler 4-doors that are used for posing only, clearly never going offroad. As Consumer Reports says, “There are better choices.”
My 4 door JK is not lifted, is driven at a reasonable speed, and has clearcoat scratches down the sides from brushing across tree branches offroad. I guess its not one of the annoying ones.
The only cars that makes me cringe when i see them in my review mirror are the Crown Vic, Caprice, Challenger, and Explorer.
Ex-police Crown Vic’s or one that’s made up to look like one. Usually the car is so beat it’s the only way you can tell it’s not real. In my experience the driver is usually a real special character…
A few years ago I encountered a Prius driver whose technique matched your driving description. Quite exceptional. That must be why I remember. High beams on in mid day, tailgated, and passed at his first, somewhat sketchy chance on the curvy road we were on.
That said, I would guess if any Prius driver would be aggressive, it would be passive aggressive. I can’t say I have ever experienced one doing that.
Aveo.
It was a crappy little car, slowest in its class and delivered mpg well in the mid-size range.
No reason for that little rat to exist. As an engineer I found the incompetence in that car very offensive.
The rear seat design in the unlamented Uplander and the Solstice top/trunk mess deserve mention. Least the Sol looked good.
Find Panthers and W-body Imps annoying as they stayed way past their use by date but inspire ridiculous justifications from their zealot lovers. (Oh relax, I’m not going to respond to your slams on this anyway.) ;^D
At least nearly everyone hates the Aveo as it deserves.
TTFN
I forgot about that POS. When I was younger the wife and I looked at one before settling on the first gen (and problem-free, for us anyway) Focus. The Aveo was such a turd. Small, slow, expensive considering how it was equipped. A Spartan would have been disappointed in the lack of power windows.
I forgot about the W-body Impalas, the Malibu of the same era was a better car. I think the ‘bu looked better too. I know that is subjective. I get tired of seeing the old Impalas of any ilk with the jacked huge wheels and scary paint. Message: Instead of spending 3k on wheels just get a better car!
Brotrucks. Big, jacked-up F-250 or Silverado diesels driven by young, attention-seeking goofs who apparently need to prove something to themselves/others.
Especially annoying are the ones who gun the engines in their “pretty trucks” at intersections or anywhere they’re likely to get the most looks by creating a filthy, stinking stream of black smoke from the polished 2 foot thick smokestack coming out of their bed.
Equally bad in my view, is the tween driving the Infiniti G35 or Camaro who thinks that owning a “sporty” car gives them a free pass to tailgate and weave in and out of traffic as if they were in a Ferarri on a racetrack somewhere.
But all in all, I guess it’s really the driver (and the stereotypical way these vehicles are driven) more than the actual car that bothers me.
RAM 1500 Sport package trucks. Usually they are black with powerdome hoods and big RAM stickers on the rear windows…
I don’t dislike RAM trucks as a whole, only the sport ones and the type of driver they seem to attract.
In the last couple of days, I have been cut off by one of these things on three different occasions. Today I witnessed one pull into a wheelchair space and the driver literally ran to the door of a store.
Any jacked up diesel truck made to sound like a semi…..especially with exhaust stacks coming up from the bed.
Oh, that “rolling coal” thing people do to diesel trucks? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. That’s a big pet-peeve of mine.
http://earthfirstjournal.org/newswire/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2014/07/19eyk2gd2qzdgjpg.jpg
Definitely this. It’s always funny cause when you see these guys roll by they have that “yeah, you wish you were me” look on their face. Dumbest fad ever.
Which I just as well, because I have that “I wish I could kick you in the crotch” look whenever I encounter them.
Nothing offends me.
The car in front of me, obviously.
How about the one two feet off of your rear bumper?
Winner!
H1 gets a bit of a pass from me simply because it is interesting. You don’t see a lot of them and it has to be a pain to drive around in.
H3 gets a gentle eye roll, if I even notice it since it looks like every other SUV for the most part.
H2 – I hate you. If you do anything I perceive to be even slightly wrong on the road I am going to do everything I can to show you how much I hate you. And I know you don’t even care, bro. That makes it even worse.
I started to type up a comprehensive reply, but then realized Doug had managed to incite me yet again. I need to stop falling for these articles…
The Mercedes-Benz G-Class AKA G-Wagen AKA Geländewagen. I guess I shouldn’t care what people do with their money, but it offends me that anyone would think that this ugly 1970’s anachronism is worth $100K plus.
Yes on the G-class! Blinged to the max, but you can’t help but notice all the military-spec flat glass!
I think a huge asterisk is needed for that statement. You can still buy a rough and tumble G290D overseas, and it will be the most mind-blowingly awesome, most capable, best-built 4WD vehicle you’ve ever laid eyes on. Differential locks front rear and center, massively overbuilt components, excellent diesel engine, and all the fluff and chrome we’re used to seeing on US Gs is gone.
Only problem is, most people can’t tell the difference between a brand new one, or a newly painted ex-military 1982 with newer rims…
Potentially a very good thing for those who like workin on old cheap surplus vehicles.
I wouldn’t have a problem with that, if that was the way it was marketed here, ala the old Land Rover. My problem is all the Kardashian and Bruno types you often see in these vehicles.
I’m pretty much okay with everything. Smart cars don’t bother me, but I liked the Kenworth pickup conversion I saw the other day too.
Anything modified to be louder, especially trucks. Perhaps once I heard an exhaust note actually more invigorating than the stock exhaust. Usually, it’s something more akin to nails on a chalkboard.
+1. Friend of mine has a Ram truck that the previous owner put aftermarket exhaust on. Spending any amount of time listening to that exhaust note is just tedious.
Generally true for mainstream cars, but I would like to take exception for flat-6s and flat-crank V8s. Their manufacturers (you know who) really hobble the sound, and a carefully selected cat-back really makes a difference.
i have a 1992 ram and even the factory exhaust was louder. put a new exhaust on it for performance reasons, i also have a 2001 ram and i put a thrush muffler on it just because i (and everyone i know) thinks it sounds great. not all are bad as long as they sound good. i HATE any post 1987 chevy or gmc pickups with loud pipes. to me all SBC’s sound the same when they are any volume above stock. and they all sound terrible.
If it’s fair game for this subject, I nominate the idiots who put the loudest possible exhaust on their Harley Davidson, just so they can annoy the maximum number of people while doing their Sunday afternoon wannabe-Hell’s Angel ride.
Porsche Cayenne. The beginning of the end of Porsche. Although there are many other good examples within the VW group, a company which has a knack for wiping its ass with storied marquees.
If Porsche didn’t make the Cayenne and Panamera they’d be pushing up daisies or very close to it.
As is stands, yes there is the Cayenne, Panamera and Macan but there is also the 911 range including the GTS, GT3, GT3RS, and Turbo as well as the Cayman/Boxster variants including the GT4 and Spyder and lets not forget the 918.
And it’s not as if the two utes and one sedan are dogs. They’re some of the best performing vehicles, if not the best performing vehicle in their respective segments.
Porsche needs to be vigilant to endure the pendulum doesn’t swing too far into sedan/suv territory. In my opinion, they’re during a very good job of managing the present day duality of the company.
There is this one G37 coupe I keep seeing around Seattle. It’s a combination of 3 things:
1) It’s stanced
2) Dude re-badged the car as a Nissan Skyline. I get the lineage, but anyone that knows what a Skyline is also knows you’re driving a G37.
3) I could deal with 1 and 2, but what gets me is the “DailyDriven” stickers on the side and back windows like it’s some heroic deed to drive a G37 every day. I could respect that on a Morgan 3 wheeler, but not this.
That is hilarious. A G37 is practically a daily driver by nature.
The funniest sticker I’ve seen was on a mid-90’s Accord, obviously driven by a teenager: “JDM as F—“.
Dude, your JDM Accord came from Ohio!
Anecdotal estimate: About 80% of the time, I <3 JDM stickers are on US-made cars, and on top of that models like the NA Accord which aren’t even sold in the JDM.
What I like is when I see Japanese badges (think NISMO) on Cobalts, Jettas and such. My wife made me stop commenting on it when we drove around.
Type-R!
Hate the driver, not the drive.
except for the BMW X6
Chrysler Pacifica. Not sure if its because they’re lard a$$ ugly or because every person who drives one seems compelled to drive 5mph under.
H1s are the coolest vehicle on the road, IMHO. I would love a ride in one!
1. smart “cars” – cars in name only. I also call them “dumb cars”.
2. Aftermarket conversion vans – I call them “stupid, ugly vans”, mainly because of the type of people who own them. They’re generally slower than me on the highway and they’re rusted-out, too.
3. Obnoxious boy-racers who love the terrible sound of fart-cans. Even a mid-sized motorcycle sounds better.
4. Harley owners. Not the bikes, but the criminal look their owners sport. They either think they HAVE to look that way, or H-D talks them into growing greasy, ponytailed hair (ponytails are for girls only, BTW) and scraggly beards. Put ’em all in prison to see how they’ll feel then about that look!
+1 for the fart-cans. Getting stuck behind one of those on the highway is damn annoying. Ditto for Harleys with loud pipes. They don’t bother me on the highway, but when you’re in town and all conversation stops because some jackwagon’s cruising by and he’s modded his bike so you can hear it a quarter mile away….why? Couldn’t care less about the ponytails though.
South Park did a very funny episode poking fun at Harley drivers, suggesting they have a very bad need for attention and external validation.
Haha I agree on the loud pipes. This also usually goes hand in hand with poorly tuned bikes, the a/f ratios get screwed up on the ones that just slap on some straight pipes but never retune the fuel injection or carbs. Thus all of that revving at the light isn’t just them being morons, they’re afraid they’ll stall out any second.
Last time I rode down to Brown County (nice, scenic, twisty roads) with a friend, we got stuck behind a line of cars at one point. I assumed it was a truck pulling a trailer holding everyone up, and sure enough I saw the truck…being held up by a pair of Harleys!!! I died a little inside. When the day comes that I’m holding up car traffic on a twisty road on a motorcycle, I’ll give up motorcycling forever.
Having done my dutiful Harley bashing, I will say that they were far and away the most common make of motorcycle I saw on my cross country NY-CA ride with far-away out of state plates like our own. We also met the kindest and most generous person on our trip who was a Harley owner and owner of the local biker bar in Marquette KS. He pulled his Electra Glide out of his shed to give us space to tear down the engine on my old Yamaha. If you’re ever in Marquette Kansas, stop by the biker bar and say hi to “Grizz.”
Nice! I don’t want to stereotype so I certainly don’t believe any caricature applies to most/all Harley drivers. My spite is saved for those with the loudest exhausts (and know it) who gun it for the racket it makes regardless of how obnoxious it is for others around them.
It’s sad that on their own, Harleys are works of art. Their V-twin engines sound unique.
Unfortunately, a significant proportion of owners deem it appropriate to remove the mufflers completely to have it sound about as loud like a Gatling gun and dress like an unkept convict in a movie about coal mining.
I agree with all but the conversion vans. Folk who buy conversion vans are generally older and like to travel. Yea, you can get stuck behind one, but they’re easy going and generally stay in the right lane. On a two lane road, they’ll often ride to the right so you can see past them and they’ll wave you by.
Someday, that’s what I wanna be. Not today though.
How about ginormous RV’s in general? These days it seems even semis have more power. I have witnessed semis passing RV’s here on sustained grades on I 70 here in Colorado. People get all bitchy about Prius drivers being slow, but they forgive RVs?
I got a ride in an H1 in the mid 90’s through the town of Breckenridge here in Colorado. Totally unique experience to see the majority of people on the crowded sidewalks with their eyes riveted to the vehicle I was riding in as it passed by them.
Diesel truck drivers who floor their accelerators from a standstill emitting a large, black cloud of diesel exhaust onto other drivers’ lungs.
That’s when I hit the recirc. button and shut off the fan. Same as I do when the farmers around here have just put down fresh manure.
Any vehicle modified in a fashion that makes it a complete irritant and possible danger to most of the folks around it. That begins with fartcan Civics and climbs to lifted pickup trucks and coal-rollers.
The absolute most irritating *vehicles* on the road are motorcycles fitted with loud exhausts. My state doesn’t have a decibel limit for those. I welcome winter and snow just to get a respite for a few months.
I was recently walking with my 11-month-old (who’s a good walker) on the sidewalk on my residential street. This bag of d!cks on a straight-piped Harley roared out of a nearby driveway (although he’s not the resident of the house) and gave it full throttle. My poor little guy, who heard it go by at about six feet, was so scared he had to go inside. I’m not a violent person but I would have knocked that guy off his bike if it were possible.
Daddy rage is justified. You don’t mess with people’s toddlers, they are too cute, too vulnerable at that age. I’m not violent either, but I do have a confrontational streak in me and I would be at that person’s door later on.
I’m not sure what’s wrong with the people who own those bikes, but there’s definitely some kind of deficiency upstairs.
The Mercedes GLK and M-Class. The ultimate display of badge-whoredom.
The vacuous, idle twats (I love stereotypes) I see driving GLKs and M-Class’s in my neighbourhood would gladly lease a Mercedes-rebranded Chevy Equinox for $699 a month and be none the wiser.
I am into the current M-Class. It has a solidity and presence the other versions have not had. It looks very well-made, and quite expensive. Which is what a Mercedes SUV should do.
My issue with the M-Class is that it lacks a number of features that should be standard for a vehicle in that price range, such as HID headlamps and a proximity key. (Surprisingly, I priced out an $82K GL550 just for the sake of curiosity and even *that* needed an optional package to get the proximity key).
The GL and the GLK both have this problem as well. Have you seen the base center stack in a GLK? GROSS, it’s like a Chrysler Crossfire in there.
The GLK is absurdly expensive for the options it carries. I have never liked it in any trim (I mean some of them even come with wheel covers? wtf).
Ugh. I can’t stand the GLK-Class. I don’t even like the boxy styling. The GLC-Class promises to be much nicer, following after the new C-Class…
Also the GLK looks too much like the gen 1 Highlander.
I bet to non-car people they’re nearly interchangeable.
I cannot unsee this, now that you’ve pointed it out. You are absolutely right.
HAHA
Ruining images, one person at at time!
Any vehicle with bad or overdone after market modifications.
Especially when they’re old and poorly maintained. Nothing worse than a heavily modified beater.
For me, it’s the Escalade. It is entirely irrational of me, but they just bug me. It entirely boggles my mind that you would sink $70k on a truck wrapped in leather. And those who remember seeing my previous posts are aware of the esteem I place on trucks (it’s not good).
In short, to me a truck is a tool, little more than the power drill in my tool chest at home. In my eyes a truck is something that I use not because I enjoy it but because I have a task to accomplish. So to me, an Escalade is like me going out to buy a power drill with an engraved stainless steel case, suede hand grip, and decorative rubies embedded in it. The idea of a bejeweled power drill and a luxury truck are equally silly to me.
…that power drill idea doesn’t sound half bad.
They are manufactured to separate the ignorant, self-centered fools from their money, often at a healthy annual interest rate.
IS-250C, the worst vehicle I’ve driven in some time that now makes me cringe whenever I see one.
Accepting that it inherited some aesthetic challenges from its older sibling, the SC, the IS 250C managed to fail both my 6′ self and my 4’11” wife ergonomically, quite significantly.
Skipping over the el cheapo interior, the real “highlight” of the experience was continually checking to make sure the parking break was off. My wife, not noted for her forthright opinions on cars, was aghast at just how fricken slow the thing is.
Now, I wanted to try the IS 350C, but there weren’t any on the lot, so I have to full on hate this the 250C because the production line could and should have been used to build an IS 350C instead. No-one in their right mind should have green lit the 250 version.
Yes, that 2.5-liter V6 is gutless. Even the similarly-undersized 2.5-liter in the Infiniti G25 wasn’t that bad… The IS will probably get some kind of turbo-four mill to replace it, like the 2.0-liter turbo in the new NX, if that works in longitude applications.
The longitudinal 2.0T is well on its way.
I’ve never driven an IS C (which is probably good) but the little six is kind of fun in the sedan, in a “I get to wind this nice smooth engine out all the time” kind of way. Still, I wouldn’t buy an IS for myself unless it were a 350.
A few years ago Top Gear shed some light on this matter. They selected as their worst car in the world – a Lexus IS 250 C. It was seriously overpriced, underpowered, handled poorly and absolutely nobody looked good driving it. It reminded one of a pregnant guppy when its top was up.
You’re thinking of the SC 430 not the IS.
It was overpriced.
It was not under-powered, I don’t care what they said. That 4.3 is a beauty.
Women who are blonde look okay driving it.
It looks nothing like the IS250C.
Mitsubishi I-MIEV. I dislike car snobs and it will help save the earth and all the engineering to make it safe and freedom of choice – but, people – its a freaking golf cart!
Fair enough, but I don’t think there’s anyone on the planet who feels compelled to defend the i-MiEV. That’s why no one bought them. There’s a Mitsubishi store in our dealer group, and none of the employees even knows what the i-MiEV *is*…lol
I dunno… The local Fiat dealer is sitting on a used 2012 with 20k miles. The ask was at $11k, now $9k. If it gets to $7k, it might be a viable commuter.
Perfect. That’s much cheaper than a Mirage…which is a more-useful and desirable car.
Big, lifted full-sized trucks with obnoxiously loud exhaust, especially diesels. Also riced out econoboxes with fartcans. Don’t forget Harley Davidson motorcycles.
I am not offended by the X6 but I do question why anyone bought one.
I guess I am a bit put off by someone driving a new Rolls Royce such as a Phantom. To me they are just an ostentatious flip-of-the-bird to the rest of society who can’t afford one. I simply don’t find them even remotely attractive or functional and find no reason for driving one other than to make a ridiculous statement. Then again, that could be said of any luxury car over $50k (pick the price point you wish above which it isn’t about the transportation value any more) but the Phantom I just find to be over the top and obnoxious in every way.
I did get a good laugh at http://www.fuh2.com back in the day. I wouldn’t buy one but I do often wonder where they all went. They seemed so ubiquitous before the bust… did they all get exported to Libya or Russia? They’ve simply disappeared off of the roads.
For me that point is where you go past the standard luxobarges, so somewhere around $150k. There’s a big and very real difference between the experience of riding in an Audi A8 and the experience of riding in an Impala. I can absolutely see why someone with money would pick the A8. But the difference between the A8 and a Phantom is less about a more comfortable experience and more about pure showoffery.
I saw a 2015 Nissan Murano on the road today and my eyes were offended by it’s exterior design.
I have seen in dark colors and Platinum trim, and it caught my eye (I think I saw navy). I haven’t seen a light color in person yet, but I bet it fares worse.
At least it wasn’t a Cabriolet, possibly the most offensive CUV ever produced. Such a pointless eyesore!
I think it looks bizarre. Since it was introduced the rear quarter design looked familiar then it dawned on me; 1960 Dodge Seneca wagon.
It’s not about the vehicle, it’s about the way it’s used.
Do you own a sports car, but never leave the city? A big diesel truck that never tows? A compact car that is used like a pickup by your local contractor? Offensive.
Cars are not offensive, only the misuse of one
Any Dodge product, especially the Journey and Jeep wrangler/ Cherokee models.
I particularly despise the brain dead wankers that have their pick up trucks raised, forget to adjust the headlight aim and who drive around in the daytime with drls and long range driving lights on. Tossers
I don’t know if offends is the right word, but I always dislike watching a Bentley drive by. (I live in Vancouver where there are plenty of high end rides.) It seems to be purely a ‘look at me’ car. Too big, too heavy, too ugly. I just can’t imagine a real car enthusiast choosing this machine. It seems it’s made for rich dudes who know nothing about cars and think the name ‘Bentley’ will get them laid…
The Dodge Nitro and its ilk, had one as a rental once and I took it back the next day. Full of hard, cheap plastic and it drove like a truck, a bad truck. I see them all the time with rims, chrome kits etc. and I just shake my head. Crappy car!
The other is the Avenger, again why oh why….Oh and pickups that folk buy to use as cars because they…oh don’t get me started.
None of the cars bother me nearly as much as the people sitting in them. I’ll take shitty machines over shitty people every time.
Amen
Rather than cultivate a whole bunch of negativity, why not do an in depth review of that awesome H1?
The H1 is quite admirable for its mission. Not sure city streets and grocery getting really fit its intended mission. However it puts lots of other “off roaders” to shame with its extraordinary ground clearance, its rear suspension that places the rear differential very high and out of danger’s way, and its relatively wide and low rollover resistant stance.
The H2 on the other hand is a poseur, a pick up truck in military drag.
Dislike: Top 5.
X6
Crosstour
Escalades, Nav’s or any mammoth SUV for that matter.
Pickups with balls on the trailer hitch
Almost all BMW’s the last 10 years (except the 1M or M5 wagon)
Likes:
I lament the 928, or the 993 911.
CRX
Late 1960’s American Muscle and pony cars.
BMW 635 Csi
Ford Focus ST
I love those classic 6-Series’; they look so timeless.
Of course, I like the latest 6-Series, too, but the 2004-2011 one was a Bangle-inspired disaster from a styling standpoint.
I’m surprised that nobody mentions the Toyota Prius. Any Prius driver wishes they weren’t driving and is completely disinterested in cars. Toyotas are also boring, My resentment comes from living in California. I seriously think of giving every Prius driving PC nutcase the finger everytime I pass one.
At least they buy their own cars, unlike EV drivers.
Because that old meme is played out and dead. At this point most people buying a Prius just want an awesomely reliable car that has minimal operating costs, and the added practicality of a hatch. The ‘regular folks’ have diluted the coefficient of “PC nutcases” to a tolerable level, IMO.
I dunno, I despise stereotyping but it regularly seems like when I come across a “nobody is on the road except for me” type driver they’re behind the wheel of a Prius.
If you get angry at Priuses in California you must spend a lot of time angry.
Someone who was going to buy a Prius was never going to buy something all that interesting, so it probably just kept them out of a Camry, and has them using less gas for their dull commuting, leaving more to be burned in a more worthy manner.
I have an irrational dislike of the “Trailhawk” variants of the Cherokee and Renegade, but I’m getting over myself.
It mostly stems from the try-hard marketing and overstatement of capabilities, the red tow hooks kind of sum it all up. From an actual technical standpoint, only their poor packaging and lack of cargo space really bother me. What’s the point of appealing to active/outdoorsy people if they can’t carry their gear? I do respect the offroad performance they were able to extract from a sedan platform with limited wheel travel. I’ve seen amateur youtube videos of the Cherokee Trailhawks run some pretty amazing terrain out in Utah, I suppose the question then becomes how long one can use one of these cars in such a fashion before they start falling apart. XJs have a bit of a reputation of turning into floppy noodles with sagging doors and torn sheetmetal when used a lot offroad, there’s workarounds to reinforce the body in the aftermarket.
Any Post-GM Saab. Talk about a brand that fell between two stools.
All the cost of maintenance and ostensibly dubious reliablity of the Germans and none of the performance. Save for a handful of niche models…and those are expensive enough that a person might as well had bought German.
Any time I see one I involuntarily roll my eyes out my sockets. Especially those with “VIGGEN” vanity plates, Lord a’ mercy.
Moot point now, thankfully.
I live in the city, granted its not Manhattan, but a large metro area, congested roads, parking lots, etc. I wouldn’t say that I am offended, but my pick would have to be any full sized pickup truck or Tahoe/Armada/Expedition sized SUV or larger. Domestic or Foreign. A lot of people take this the wrong way, I don’t care if you own them, I don’t care if you drive them, but when I am behind one such that my entire forward view is the tailgate of my fellow commuter unless I drop back a quarter mile, when one blocks my view so I cannot see oncoming traffic to make a turn, when one takes up more than its fair share of a parking space….I see red.
Today’s barges have grown to such ridiculous proportions, they are simply unruly and unsafe around more “city sized” vehicles. Even truck lovers will have a difficult time denying that large numbers of yahoos found on our roads disproportionately find their way into a truck or full sized SUV. I understand the need for them, but whenever I run into someone who owns such a vehilce who doesn’t need one, they are a d’bag in my book until proven otherwise. That has been pretty spot on in my experience.
I was going to say the same thing. This is my #1 – basically every SUV and CUV on the road, because they sit so high I can’t see around (or through) them. If I do fall back, another CUV/SUV will just fill the gap. It’s hopeless.
Jacked up Diesel pickup, unless you need it for your job.
.
.
But if your using it for a job, like my brother who uses his Dmax to tow a 36′ Triple axle enclosed race trailer, WTF would you want to jack it up?
Most Mopars from their “neu-malaise era”- The Teutonic pump and dump right through the nardelli vulture Capitalist takeover
Any car with an aftermarket landau/vinyl roof. The ’70s are over, buddy!
OK, I will admit to wanting a new Challenger with a vinyl roof. But that car is still living in the 70’s.
Prius, only wackjobs drive them.
Where do all these people that complain about Prius drivers live? Not that a Prius would be my first choice, but in my area (southern New England), the drivers aren’t any better or worse than their peers. (i.e. Just as aggressive in MA, just as clueless in RI…)
Same goes for diesel trucks, Hummers, Smart cars, and whatever other vehicle people hate on. Assuming the vehicle is stock, the drivers are all about the same. However, there IS a strong correlation between tasteless modifications and poor driving, whether that is means “Illest” stickers, haphazard “bags”, chrome fender vents, or laughable lift kits.
So it’s not the vehicle itself, but what the driver chooses to do with it, that reflects poor driving.
“However, there IS a strong correlation between tasteless modifications and poor driving, whether that is means “Illest” stickers, haphazard “bags”, chrome fender vents, or laughable lift kits.”
Absolutely. Not sure what the mental dynamics are, but an easily observed truth.
If that’s the case then something like 20% of the people in my city are wackjobs.
Priuses are excellent transportation appliances for people who don’t care about cars. It’s not just the gas mileage. They’re very well packaged, more reliable than the sun, and pretty reasonably priced.
I live in Texas, so I know what I’m about to type is sacrilegious but: big lifted trucks annoy the shit out of me. They’re loud, obnoxious, and invariably the dude driving them doesn’t know where or how to properly park them.
How many times have you seen a perfectly good parking space encroached on both sides by two truck-holes? It happens all the time here in Texas. Or blind backing out of a parking spot when surrounded by giant lifted trucks into traffic.
Cars don’t offend me much, its moreso the drivers, the people that buy them to begin with and use them as a status symbol, all the while filling the interior with rotting bits of Mcdonalds as they sit on their smartphones.
The biggest offenders are the stick-shift guys, they trash talk automatics, but in the real world most of them drive no better than Grannys.
At least Granny will be in a nice quiet Marquis, stick-shift guy will be too busy on his phone bragging about his “stage 4 dual intake system”.
When I see the infinite variety in vehicles, homes, jobs, entertainment, etc. that we in North America enjoy, I rejoice in our limitless choice that our free enterprise capitalist system has gifted us. Celebrate the diversity; most people in the world can’t.
( and, do your best to preserve it).
Wait! What? This is supposed to be bitching/gripe session, and you come here with your optimistic, look on the bright side comment.
Thanks!! :)
I don’t really care that much what other people on the road drive, as long as they can drive properly. Some things keep repeating itself, like family men in minivans driving them hard when alone (lot of built up aggression I guess) assholes in ‘premium’ cars that ignore everyone else. (no, not all german premium cars are owned by assholes, but a lot of assholes do own such cars), and people in small underpowered french cars that love to overtake and pass everything, no matter how long it takes, disregarding just about everyones safety(there is some overlap to the family men in minivans here I guess)
The only type of car that really pisses me off in itself, is gutless underengined versions of german premium cars. And the engines in these cars themselves. Created as a means to sell a premium car at the price of a ‘common’ family car in countries where theres tax on engine displacement and horsepower, these underpowered bastards keep killing the normal practical family car by taking up marketshares, and make the average car slower, by making small engines more popular (or at least easier to swallow)
Two ‘kids’ at work own each their 2007 Audi 1.6 gas engine, one A4 sedan, and one A3 5-door hatch. Both are socalled ‘double S-line’ meaning they have S-line trim and S-line interior packages, so they look reasonably good, and are nice to sit it. But they have 102 hp. Yes, Onehundredandtwo, from a 1.6, in 2007…
How did they even manage to get that few ponies out of a fuel injected 1.6 ?
(A 2007 Honda Civic 1.4 had 100 horses, and gets waaay better gas milege)
And I know the X6 has been mentioned a lot allready, but watching an old tanningbed-orangey-brown-leather-skinned 90lbs ‘cougar’ trying to lift her groceries over the rear-bumper of an X6 is still hilarious every time I see it XD
I cannot stand sixth generation Chevy Monte Carlos. One of the ugliest cars ever created. I have an irrational dislike of them.
Not only ugly, but they manage to be FWD cars with worse packaging than most RWD cars. They are worthless wastes of metal.
I had to add another comment complaining about everyone that hates cars that dare stick out in a crowd. Here in Norway 12 out of 9 cars is either a Passat or a4/a6, so I love cars that are ‘different’ no matter what or how. Fiat Multiplas, Velosters, Honda Elements, Ridgelines or any other US car, even PT Cruisers and Calibers. I have painted flames on two of my cars, and I’ve seriously contemplated fake vinyl roofs or ‘woodie’ vinyls (luckily they will just be too expensive as I have to order from the US)
I guess owning a ‘modern’ muscle car over here is pretty masochistic, after paying $150K in taxes on a Shelby GT500 you have gas prices and 55mph limits to annoy yourself about. Not to mention two-lane roads everywhere. Two summers ago I was passed by a GT500 while on vacation, and he got stuck between my CR-V pulling a caravan , and some slow european RW for about an hour before he got a chance to pass the RV again. Brilliant use of 550 hp
Any vehicle with tinted windows is inherently annoying. Hard to tell whether the individual driving it, is so dumb he personally doesn’t understand that, or if he is simply stuck in a dystopian backwater where his fellow countrymen are. To such an extent that the segment of non morons, are too small a niche to serve profitably.
You have never lived in AZ.
Full size pickups are stupid in any city.
The ads all show lumbersexuals hauling hay or towing gigantic hydroelectric turbine parts, but I see them taking up four spaces in the supermarket parking lot because they have the turning radius of the Titanic and Jimmy Bob’s wife can’t get it between the lines.
Several times a day I can hear buddy’s V8 equipped F150 with megaphone pipes going from stop sign to stop sign for what seems like a 10 block radius. Vroooooom! Pause. Vroooom! Pause. Vroooom!
There’s also a Dodge RAM (with a Hemi, of course) in my neighbourhood with twin chrome stacks and mudflaps with chrome nekkid lady silhouettes and a bumper sticker that says, “Too Loud? Too Bad!”. I can think of two bumper stickers I want to put on it. “Am I compensating for my small penis? Yes. Yes I am!” or “I’m still saving up for truck nuts.”
You should do the latter, and take a picture of it for us to see. Buddy will be famous!
My friends from the UK were amused by the lifted pickups when they visited me in California. I actually had one of the mates squat right next to it for a picture with the driver still in the truck. The driver was unable to see what we did. That was quite a laugh!
I have personalty experienced a high percentage of Toyota FJ40 drivers who are, shall I say, assertive in their driving style.
“Full size pickups are stupid in any city” – I completely disagree.
It all depends on how ANY vehicle is driven.
I had recently read Jack Baruth’s story of travelling through several jurisdictions where a guy in a dually literally tried to kill him. Oddly enough I just came back from a 2,000 km trip and I encountered at least 4 douchebags in HD dually’s driving light idiots on the highway. It was ironic. That doesn’t mean every duallie driver is a douche.
The “loud pipes saves lives” contingent pick what they drive because of size and the ability to make those vehicles even bigger and obnoxious. Brodozers immediately come to mind. Virtually every SRT Grand Cherokee I’ve encountered has been driven by a douche bag.
I’ve driven my truck to and through “the big city” and it isn’t my preferred tool for the job but it does get the job done. I found I was less likely to get cut off or be on the receiving end of aggressive driving and/or road-rage twits.
As a daily commuter full sized pickups, Challenger Hellcats, Corvettes etc. aren’t the best choice for a large urban centre but who am I to judge what someone wants to drive?
I find that when ever a motorist is in trouble I’m more likely to get flagged down and asked to help when I’m in my pickup than when I’m in my wife’s minivan.
Why is that?
STERIOTYPES – truck guys are supposed to be helpful and handy…………. or douchebags compensating for poor genetics.
Ford Taurus Wagon (esp 3rd gen): an absolutely atrocious looking vehicle. There is a time when a designer needs to let go of the Fillet tool. Those radii around the back were something to behold. Offensively ugly.
Cars that aren’t Audi’s with LED lined headlights. I don’t love them on Audi’s but they’re awful on otherwise perfectly sensible cars like Jetta and Sentra.
Where do I start? It is a toss-up between the Toyota Pious and any Volvo, both are offensive primarily because of the typical people who drive them.
Pious, er, Prius owners seem to drive with this smug sense of self-righteousness as they hamper the flow of traffic with their hyper-miling in the left lane. But then, the lack of roadworthiness of the cars inhibits any rapid movement.
Volvo drivers are a menace. Like a Camry, any Volvo is a car bought by people who hate cars. But unlike Camry owners, who buy them because their Maytag washers don’t have wheels, Volvo owners buy Volvos in the hope that the car’s reputation for safety will protect them from their utter incompetence behind the wheel. If you don’t believe me, just try following a Volvo for any distance. I guarantee you the oblivious driver will do something stupid, dangerous, or more likely both. In 2 minutes max.
All of the Prius drivers I know just want to have an appliance and not be required to care about cars, similar to Camry buyers.
Most of the Prius drivers I encounter on the road are similar (oblivious, but rarely reckless or smug).
The most consistently reckless and entitled drivers I see are lifted pickups as many others also observe.
Prius haters are funny. I have both a Prius and an LS400. I drive both the same way, but get tailgated and flipped off more in the Prius. Example: at night I won’t exceed 50 mph on my local rural two-lanes because the deer and other critters are very active and after living here for 15+ years I’ve had plenty of deer collisions in my family. In the LS400 no problem, in the Prius it’s tailgate city. People probably assume I’m just a geezer in a geezer car in the LS400, but in the Prius they assume like…., well like the poster that started this subthread.
They’re both wrong, I’m trying to avoid a repeat of a $5-7K deer collision.
Such stereotyping! Would you be okay with a Prius driver hypermiling in the right lane?
Could you buy the idea that a life long driving and auto enthusiast who loves understanding and experiencing sophisticated extreme engineering could appreciate the complex and effective engineering in a Prius just as much he could the engineering of exotic performance sports cars? I rather appreciate superlative and extreme vehicles no matter their mission.
The new cherokee. Being a hardcore old jeep guy that thing absolutely disgusts me. Fwd based, ugly as hell, sort of looks like a kia, no off road prowess, (the reviews might say otherwise but I’ve seen one attempt to take the baby trails at my offroad park and fail). Even the compass didn’t anger me this much, the fact they used the cherokee name rubs salt in the wound.
You could say the same thing happened to the resurrected Ford Explorer, just a couple years earlier and an even more drastic change (BOF to unibody).
Also happened to the Mercedes-Benz ML (now GLE, hurray!!!), but that was somewhat of a status symbol car to begin with so not much lost.
To be honest the explorer falls in that same category for me. It used to be such a capable truck and turned into another boring cuv. Usually driven by a texting late 20s blonde not paying attention to anyrhing.
I hate traditional white American vans with “free candy” painted on the side driven by actual child molesters, and not ironic Jalopnik hipsters. Not cool.
Anything stanced, and every single ratty black Civic I’ve ever seen.
All of them have bad bodywork or serious rust, either black steelies or horrid Pep Boys wheels, and the obligatory fart can…often putting out a wisp of burnt oil.
Lifted trucks, because if we collided they would hit me at head level.
“baby-destroying Republican”
Baby-destroying applies more to Democrats who are pro-abortion.
Until five minutes ago, no car actually offended me. But I just watched the Chevy Malibu commercial that starts with, “Do you wear underwear?” So now the answer is: Chevy Malibu.
Hummer H2s just leave me thinking “sucker upside down on his loan”. Prius owners can irritate me but only because of the toxic combo of poor driving and eco smug.
Hummer H3s leave me thinking, “I couldn’t even afford the poseur Hummer [H2] but look at me anyway!!”
I would say any car with the owner’s initials monogrammed in some pseudo-calligraphy font in the back window, a trend that seems to be the successor to those trendy “salt life” stickers. But neither of these offends me. Rather, I see them as a big flag to tell me to pass them or get around them at the earliest possible convenience and to give them a wide berth, because the drivers of these vehicles typically don’t pay attention to the road and they all seem to suck at parking straight between two white lines in any parking spot.
Anybody who is driving a motor vehicle partly in the bicycle lane. Doubly so when they have a “Look twice for motorcycles” bumper sticker. Congratulations, dude, you’re ironic AND you suck at driving.
Jaguar sedans that don’t look like they were designed in 1968.
Northstar Cadillacs also bother me because they would have been awesome if the engine would just hold together better.
Hey Doug, thought you lived in Atlanta?
Agree on the HD pickup. Very offensive!
Also, Hondas with their driving lights on at night. See them all the time around here.
The BMW X6. Every time I see one I wonder why anyone would pay an extra $15,000 or so over an X5 so get a vehicle with the exact same dimensions and driving dynamics but with a cramped interior without the cargo space of an X5.
And the funny thing is the X5 is hardly spacious. It’s got a bit more room than a Subaru Forester. Pretty embarrassing for a vehicle that weighs 5000+ pounds and takes up the footprint of a full-size sedan.
“…takes up the footprint of a full-size sedan.”
*reference needed
It’s mystifying, but somehow Every Single One of the early Dodge Durangos I have seen is piloted by a road-raging a*hole. I’d be angry at myself for buying a gas-guzzling too-tall station wagon with leaf spring rear suspension too, pal, but don’t take it out on me.
Japanese midsize sedans with limo tint, chrome dubs, and in the center bottom of the back window, a custom Olde English font sticker “In Loving Memory” of their cousin that got shot by a fellow gangbanger.
Lifted trucks. Especially when rolling coal. My asthmatic son’s lungs would like a word with those drivers, and my foot would like a word with their balls–no, not the ones hanging from their trailer hitch.
1990s Honda Civic drivers who buy the trim with the smallest available engine and automatic transmission, and then try to get “more power” by removing their catalytic converter. And then cut the springs so the car bounces down the concrete freeway expansion joints like a pogo stick, rubbing tires on the aftermarket wheels that don’t fit inside the fenders, while blinding us with HID headlamp bulbs in non-HID housings, and deafening us with a fat-can exhaust and a trunk full of subwoofers running “1000 watt” swap meet amps.
Harleys with loud pipes, inevitably ridden by obese white people who may or may not know their iron cross T-shirt is Nazi reference. Put down the meth pipe long enough to Google “Doppler effect,” bro, those pipes aren’t keeping you safe.
Man, hating is fun!
Easy. The 2015 Camry. Ugly. Or as a friend once said, most ugly. What offends me is that they call it ‘bold’. No, it looks like something out of a bad ’40’s SF illo.
Next, any new (or well kept) car with stick-on vents, etc., not only taken to excess, but badly applied. I often wish for lightning to strike the owner/abuser.
Oh, and for the guys with the riced-out Civics, etc., with body damage and such? Give it up, son. Your car now looks like a gaudy piece of crap. Times two.
I think part of my dream, Jay Leno-style garage would be full of the ugliest cars of all time, like the Aztek and Crosstour.
Honestly, I’d say the Aveo. It was far too expensive (at least at MSRP), was incredibly badly built, and was an insult to consumers. I mostly felt bad for people that bought them, not offended, although used they can make some sense since one in good condition still sells for the equivalent price of a 10 year older Civic.
Anyone who forgets to lower their high beams for oncoming traffic or when they’re closely following someone else. This seems particularly prevalent among rural Chevy pickup trucks 5-10 years old- the kind with the high beams on the inside and lows on the outside. The forgottenly left on high beams make the truck look cross-eyed, and I imagine he driver to be some cross-eyed hick as well, mentally taxed by simply driving down a straight road and unable to comprehend the universal high beam symbol, brightly lit in blue on his dashboard and shining at his crossed eyes. The same drivers seem typically content to putter along at 45-50 in a 55 zone and 40 or so in a 45. Again, My theory is that the activity of driving down a perfectly straight road taxes their brains to the point of making them incapable of noticing the signs or reading the number on their speedometer.
While I despise the Hummer H2 as a symbol of blatant excess underscored by a total inability to cash the cheque that the brand writes about off-road capability, the true winner is the International CXT.
There is no legitimate argument that can be made for the existence of a transport truck that’s been utterly stripped of all practical capability and given an unreachable and tiny cargo bed. It’s simply a huge, inefficient, rolling “fuck you” to everyone else on the road that almost guarantees a fatality in even the most minor collision.
“a total inability to cash the cheque that the brand writes about off-road capability,”
Huh? The H2 never claims to be as good as the H1, but it’s damn close, it was tested at the same proving grounds as the Humvee, proving grounds that AM General uses to teach soldiers the capabilities of the Humvee.
Why don’t you claim the same for Jeep, none of those vehicles have anymore offroad prowess than a Subaru outside the wrangler, at least GM made all the H’s capable in their own right.
Until a couple years ago, it was the first generation Dodge mini vans (1984-1990). It seemed like every one I saw was a smoking, peeling wreck driven by someone I never wanted to meet on the street. I see them very rarely now, so most of them must have finally died. The clapped out third generation vans (in nasty purple), are quite prevalent, but don’t seem to be near the smokers the originals were.
Come to think of it, ANY vehicle that smokes in traffic has my full ire. I just want to drag the driver out of their window at a stoplight and beat them down in front of everyone, and I’m in no way a rabid environmentalist.
Honorable mention goes to any Subaru and the folks that drive them, primarily the women. My wife pointed out to me that the average Subaru is piloted by a crazy person and should be avoided at all costs, because they might go “Crazy Ivan” at any time, for no reason, and damned if she wasn’t right. It’s become a meme in my household.
No car offends me. There are plenty of cars out there that I think are dumb, ugly, poorly designed, etc. but they are all part of the variety. If everyone only drove the same kind of cars I drive, that would make them more expensive and would be no fun.
For example I think the new Camaros are a joke, they look like a cartoon. But they are driven by people who like or even love them and provide some variety to the view outside my windshield, so it’s all good.
Tell us more about the CarFax app that lets you look up license plates.
Ha ha! Offended by a car? I am trying to imagine how a car could offend me, but can’t come up with anything. Funny concept!
Any vehicle is fine. Unless they smell bad. Or drive like assholes.
So… Love the cars. Hate the asshole drivers.
Hyundai Veloster. Absolutely loathsome collection of lines, curves and styling “cues” that looks as if when it was finished Godzilla stepped on the tail. Obnoxious in a Pontiac Aztek sort of way. It does, at least, have rear windows that open.
Smart car. Also needs premium gas in the US [unless that requirement has changed].
Avenger/200 don’t bother me at all. Pretty benign, actually.
I do dislike the Smart very much for the reasons discussed but I loath the Veloster specifically after the Smart and Spark. Smart is what it is, but Spark could be “fixed” with a new front end, styling, and stop being sold in such obnoxious colors which scream poverty to me and not fun in a car of that class. Veloster though, it insults the senses of everyone it encounters. Its funny you mention Aztek as many here and in the auto MSM are quick to criticize it and yet Veloster gets a pass? Hypocrisy.
Any car with protruding headlights or tail lights – usually Toyotas. Does anyone really find this attractive? Also, any car with hideous spindle grills or gaping maws.
The question is a Rorschach test and is revealing a lot of stereotyping and bias.
Is there anything more cliched in the automotive world than saying that a man driving a sports car or pickup truck or Hummer or whatever must be compensating for having a small penis? Do people who say that think they’re clever or offering great insight?
Just what are women compensating for with their choice of vehicles to drive?
There’s an awful lot of casual misandry going on these days.
I once saw an older couple at a car show for Fords and they were sitting in their 1960 Ford Thunderbird that they’d owned since new. Now I happen to think that the late 1950s were a nadir in automotive styling in America. The cars from 1958-1960 were often hideously overstyled, and that generation TBird has just about every bad styling cliche from the period.
I told the couple that I don’t like their car, that I think it’s pretty ugly, but that really like how they like it.
Just because I may not like the flavor of a particular food doesn’t mean that the people who do like it are worthy of criticism or scorn.
“Just because I may not like the flavor of a particular food doesn’t mean that the people who do like it are worthy of criticism or scorn.”
Pretty much this. It’s too much for me to care.
People self identify waaay too much by the things they own.
X6, ZDX, H2 for starters. Audi is making their way up there…they make some beautiful cars but it seems to be the asshole-driver-car of late.