I have a horrible fantasy. It’s dark, disturbing and completely out of character. But when I’m honest with myself, it’s very, very real.
I sometimes fantasize that I drive a minivan.
And it’s not just any minivan. It’s a white Honda Odyssey with family stick figures and a school mascot and everything. It’s got tiny wheels, regular plates and more cup holders than Victoria’s Secret. There’s a tray in the back seat, a bunch of TVs with headphone jacks and a sliding back door with a button to close.
Truth is, when you spend $40,000 on a minivan you get better family options than you do in a luxury SUV that costs twice that and that’s disgraceful. Instead, in the SUV world, we play this game where I pretend I’m ever going to drive it off road thus providing plenty of complex and expensive options I’m never gonna touch.
For example, while it’s very cool, I’ve used hill descent twice, which is probably two-times more than most people — but a vacuum cleaner? Hell, I’d use that action every day! My car has more pretzel crumbs and dog hair than Oprah’s dressing room. The difference between Miss O and I is that my minions don’t clean up after me, or after themselves for that matter.
The other issue when you drive a smokin’ hot car is that people expect you to be smokin’ hot… all the time. And I am. Most of the time. But then sometimes, I just want to exit my vehicle wearing sweatpants and a doo-rag without feeling like a fraud. If I had a minivan, I would drive it to the valley, park it at a shopping center and exit proudly wearing a white leather jumpsuit and turquoise go-go boots! That Home Goods parking lot would be ablaze with envy in no time.
However, we all know that’s not gonna happen for a multitude of reasons, including that I’m a car snob. I also drive like a bat outta hell, so I’d flip that minivan in 2.3 three seconds without ever leaving my driveway. Plus, my go-go boots are in the shop.
But the real question is, if I drove a minivan, would I park like this?
Reposted with permission from Motorhead Mama.
Unlike the majority of Americans, I would be embarrassed to drive an SUV. My minivan is much more sensible. I am not concerned with what some people think of my sexuality/machismo because of what I drive, as such people are beneath my concern.
Also, whoever realized that putting a $20 12v vacuum in only the top of the line model would get even one idiot to pony up is a genius.
“Unlike the majority of Americans, I would be embarrassed to drive an SUV. My minivan is much more sensible. I am not concerned with what some people think of my sexuality/machismo because of what I drive, as such people are beneath my concern.”
Preach it, brother! I couldn’t agree more.
+10
I’m a proud father of two, and owner of a Toyota Sienna.
I don’t have anything to prove, and I’ve got a progeny to move! Go! Go! Go!
We have a Sienna. Great family vehicle. My wife would like something different because all of her friends have decided that they are uncool. Unless they want to buy her a new CUV/SUV, the minivan stays… thank you very much ;)
@Lou
My intention is not to be flip so please don’t take this question in that way.
I just wonder what exactly did she say to you? Was it “my friends think our van is uncool so we need to get something else?”, or something along those lines. It just seems odd.
@hubcap – nope. Nothing that obvious. Some of her friends have talked about minivans and despite the fact that they all agreed upon the price and versatility they all complained about the looks and indirectly the image of them.
She couldn’t give a logical reason for not wanting one other than looks and size. I’ve mentioned the negative image of minivans to her and she did not deny that was a factor to her and her friends.
Quite a lot of them are really hung up on what their friends think and say. In some respects you can view it as the whole high school pear pressure “what’s cool and not cool” sort of thing.
Some of them are into social pecking order and a full bling minivan doesn’t look much different than a base model. That fact in some of their eyes does not convey “I’m better than you are.” They don’t come out and say it but it is obvious.
My wife, who is not remotely high-maintenance, will come straight out and say that the van would make her feel 20 years older. If we have a second kid, I think the only option we are both likely to agree on is a lightly used MDX. I’d pick a Flex (which she’d rather roll of a cliff) and she’d pick an X5 (which I’d rather set on fire).
After much trial and error ,I now drive minivans , wife has a 2000 Sienna and I have 1995 Dodge Caravan. You can put endless junk and people in them and lightish on gas. The dodge is 3.3 version and is interesting to drive but Sienna boring but efficient. Better than giant trucks and SUVs they drive here in Saskatchewan. With ice tyres they go well in snow and ice -40 C. Don’t care what people think.
@romer – I had a Safari van for 2 years. I got tired of the inside smelling like my last cargo. That was great if I had made a few runs to the lumber yard but not so great if my 2 Labrador Retrievers where swimming in a swamp.
The reality is that compared to SUV, minivans (actually not-so-mini vans) are UUVs, the Ultimate Utility Vehicles…
Can’t get into my head spending 40-45K Canadian for a small SUV like a Jeep Cherokee when you can get a “MommyVan” that is more powerful, and way more spacious, both for Passenger and Cargo for much less or Very well equipped for the same price…
I support separate license tests for drivers of SUVs and vans. Also pick ups. If you can’t park these vehicles, you don’t get to drive them.
Yes, that parking job is fairly egregious. Part of the problem is that some current minivans, including the Odyssey, have unnecessarily huge footprints due in part to the unrealistic expectation of interior dimensions sufficient to allow a 4×8 sheet of plywood, etc., to lie flat with the rear door closed. Is this defacto standard any more day-to-day useful in a family hauler than is AWD with a low range and hill descent control?
That minivan can go in that space easily. Heck, I can get our Chevrolet crew cab long bed in a space. That’s tight. A regular cab pickup in a space- piece of cake.
These are minivans, not box vans.
Parking like that is kind of inevitable when you have kids. :p
I mean once in a while. You do that every time and you deserve the epithets coming your way, haha.
Parking like that is kind of inevitable when you have something as wide as a minivan.
The Odyssey is 2 inches wider than the Pilot. The Sienna is 2 inches wider than the Highlander. The vans are each about 8 inches longer than the crossovers as well.
I know that the sliding doors are great for tight spaces, but you have to remember that they pop out a good 10 inches to be able to slide backwards. Given how much they grow with each redesign, it’s no surprise that they have become useful only in suburbia.
They have grown as big as they need to to accommodate four car seats and one adult in the back, and no bigger. The growth of the car seat is what has driven the growth of the minivan.
Bingo. We’ve gotten 4 car seats and 4 adults in our Odyssey. One adult not so comfortable, but at least safe. Plus all our beach junk in the back. The only other vehicle you can do that with would be a Suburban, and not only are you talking more money, but much more difficult to get in and out of (especially young kids and older adults), slurping gas, larger footprint. Suburban makes sense if you are towing something decently large, but the normal suburban shuffle? Nope.
“Parking like that is kind of inevitable when you have something as wide as a minivan.”
No it isn’t. You can learn to handle anything, if you try. Bubba can back his 18-wheeler up precisely to the loading dock without running over the 3 cars and 5 stacks of palettes and trash dumpsters randomly distributed around the space, and mommy can park her van straight and in the center of the stall.
Buddy of mine drives a tractor -trailer for UPS. One of the tests he had to pass was to be able to parallel park it. He said it was easy.
Correction Dirk: Mommy SHOULD be able to park her van straight and in the center of the stall. Way too many cannot.
“But the real question is, if I drove a minivan, would I park like this?”
Yes, you would. It’s amazing how the character of a vehicle can affect one’s typical behaviour. I had a rental Sante Fe base 4-cylinder and I became the sloppiest, most aggressive, worst excuse for a driver I’ve ever been. It didn’t help that I was using it around some generic Ontario suburb-of-a-city either. I’m not proud of that 4-day stint.
Btw, fun article. I like your writing style.
I drive a Seinna and a 4Runner and I never park like that.
Thanks!
And I’m with you on the parking.
I thought all Prius drivers were morons and then I drove one.. It’s got the turning radius of an 18 wheeler!
It doesn’t though. It’s about the same or better than any compact or midsized car. A 34′ turning circle is actually pretty good.
If you want a TERRIBLE turning circle, you should get a Transit van. 48′!!! I still want one though.
My 04 Sienna has a 37′ turning circle and it feels like it turns on a dime in a parking lot. I love my Van , 230k and when it dies it will be replaced with a new Sienna,. Best road trip vehicle ever!
The absolute worst turning radius is a Mitsubishi which has been dropped hellaflush with extra wide rubber. Saw a petite gal trying to get out of a strip mall parking spot yesterday and she took 4 cuts to get clear even after turning hard enough to rub, squeel and stink. (That sounds more fun than it was).
I don’t care who you are or what you drive, everyone parks like that once in a while. It happens. I usually notice as soon as I pull in, if I do, but sometimes I think I’m straight, get out, and I’m like, “What the hell?”
In modern sedans and hatches without cameras and sensors, it’s all guesswork and occasionally Braille. I am decent with my mirrors and all, but I was once trying to parallel park my tC on a hill in a heavy rainstorm at night and it may as well have been an Ohio-class SSBN.
Yes, on occasion i get out and find out I parked like an idiot. When I do, I get back in and fix it.
“Yes, on occasion i get out and find out I parked like an idiot. When I do, I get back in and fix it.”
and when you do you piss off the person cruising for parking spaces who sees you pulling out and thinks he’s going to get your spot #cantwin
Yep, it does happen, but then I get back in and fix it.
Backing in is also a good way to prevent it, because then you can see exactly what you’re doing in your side mirrors.
Our DD has a backup camera. I have gotten into the habit of putting it in reverse and looking at the parking lines before I turn off the car. Hard to see the lines otherwise without opening the door. I tend to agree that we all park like jerks from time to time.
Interesting change of pace article.
Same here. I always reverse into spaces (pulling in head-first is for “bank jobs”) and if it looks horrible I get back in and straighten it out. It may be a function of my farm-and-factory rural Ohio upbringing, but parking is a source of pride and a poor job of it showed disrespect for all the other duallys in the feed store lot.
Oddly enough, i can park my wife’s beastly LX470 pretty close to perfect almost every time. But when driving my Civic, i park like that most of the time and then have to correct. I guess my next car needs to be huge :-)
Big vehicles are almost easier than sedans to park anymore, provided the issue isn’t turning radius. High seating position, flat sides, more vertical rear window, cameras up the wazoo. Especially if you’ve got something nifty like that Nissan top-down view, which nearly sealed the deal for my mom on a Pathfinder.
The cool thing about minivans is, you can park NEXT to that person, and their kids can’t ding up your car. Because sliding doors FTMFW.
For sure we need MORE vehicles with sliding doors. Really bummed the Mazda 5 is going away. I had one as a rental once and it was brilliant. Since I have no kids I thankfully will NEVER need a minivan. However they make way more sense then most SUVs, mostly because those sliding doors RULE!
Sliding doors, to me is one of the best features and for that reason. Starting at about 4ish, I could park anywhere, and they could let themselves out without me worrying about them banging the cars next to us.
Amen.
The shape of a car matters. The more egg-lozenge the shape, the more the doors get shaped like transformer panels.
With the curve of the door on our CX-9, and the cut it made around the wheel arch, plus the thickness of the door interior panels, my wife was unable to get the baby seat out of it in most full parking lots. Solution: Odyssey.
I love parking next to minivans for this reason.
For the record, you CAN drive a minivan like a bat out of hell. 2nd, if with said driving style you have yet to flip your SUV I would say you are in good shape with the Odyssey. I believe, in general, a van has a lower center of gravity.
If need be, give the Sienna a whirl with the AWD and you may find you can be just as expeditious as you can with your SUV.
Nice paint on that Accord.
I love my Odyssey. It is very wide though, but that is what it takes to get an adult and two enormous baby seats in the middle row, and a five star side impact rating.
Working an auto show several years ago, one of our display vehicles was a loaded Town & Country – dual DVD players (with RGB inputs), the swiveling seats with the centre table, leather, and power stuff, and even as a then-single 20-something guy, I wanted it sort of. I mean, I was fond of it, and the idea of a rolling living room. Ultimately, I’d rather have something smaller, but if I ever need something that big, I’m down with the van. I might paint it like Mr T’s Vandura (my wife would push for the Mystery Machine from Scooby Doo), but vans are awesome useful things.
Super luxed-out vans are a big thing in Japan, I know indirectly because they get shipped over to Russia straight from the auction with all the accouterments still in place: frilly white seat covers with elaborate head rest covers, nice window shades (motorized sometimes), all manner of little tables and TVs on the inside. I guess when you’re stuck in Tokyo traffic your car really is your living room. I’d love an older Delica or 4wd Townace with the whole 9 yards of interior frippery.
I want a Delica, but for very different reasons (ones that involve hypothetically living on Vancouver Island, where they’re unusually common), even though I know they’re available with plenty of comfort features.
On the other hand, I’m pleased to see the Ford Transit conversion van is a thing. And now I get to have an awkward fantasy of a Transit Connect conversion van.
Oh I hear you, as the former owner of a 4×4 Mazda mpv and the current owner of a 1996 4runner, and as someone that loves primitive camping,canoeing, fishing, etc. I’d love to find the one true do it all weekend rig. The Mazda had enough interior space to comfortably sleep 2 inside on a homemade platform, but lacked true offroad capability, no low range and ground clearance was just a bit lacking. Conversely the 4runner is a beast offroad but while roomy enough for dogs and cargo, can’t really sleep 2 adults in comfort. The delica to me is the holy grail. I’ve looked at importing a 25 year old one from Japan, importers are starting to do so. But I don’t want to be a trail blaing guinea pig as far as registering this thing goes.
It’s the same in Seoul. With half the country’s population in one city, it’s Hollywood, the Hill, and Wall Street all wrapped up in one location with terrible traffic. Big van with tinted windows probably means there’s a movie star or singer inside.
That was a good read, keep it up. Van owners come in all sizes, I love my Sienna and in my younger days I drag raced and drove open wheel sprints on 1/2 mile dirt track.
“more cup holders than Victoria’s Secret”
Gonna steal that one.
That line was all I needed to read. Pure Pulitzer material there.
Why thank you.
I’m anticipating a nomination any day now..
I must be missing the joke here. Are their stor…….
…nevermind. Got it. Brain is slow today.
Go big or go home.
Next time, park it sideways across three handicapped spaces.
Absolutely love my Town & Country, though with 78k on my 2012, things are starting to rattle and squeak a bit. Ready for the third set of tires, too…
But there is nothing better for loading kids than the power sliding doors. With 270+hp, it can hustle, too.
Minivans are proof that one has amazing sexual prowess & has been successful in achieving the single most important task in life and is at peace with that status.
In other words, we should all aspire to drive minivans. My wife and I bought our first last year (bada$$ Nissan Quest LE) and we fought so much over who gets to drive it (soooooo useful) that I just bought another one this week (Ford Transit Connect Wagon) to replace my sedan. Yes, I like the quirky minivans, I’m still an enthusiast after all.
That first line needs to be edited down into a bumper-sticker, which I could buy for my Odyssey :)
The stepford wife next door to us traded in her Sienna for a Nissan Armada to better intimidate the poor reflected in her mirror shades. I live in a strange place…
The irony is that the Sienna probably has a nicer interior.
From what I’ve read about the width of the Odyssey, there’s no need to edit down anything.
+1 I have shamed more than one person with a similar interpretation of that line. If I was a divorced guy, I would put a minivan on my Tinder showing that I am good at procreation.
I’m just not ready. I wouldn’t mind a van in the fleet, but it would have to be a third or even fourth ride. It doesn’t help that the only good looking vans IMO are the Nissan Quest and the new Sedona…. both of which are, for some reason, really impractical compared to the competition… and are basically luxury SUVs with sliding doors. I prefer the JDM wraparound glass square shape look to the conventional Bosu ball with flame surfacing look of the Odyssey.
One thing I do sincerely wonder is how well a minivan would handle on big sticky rubber with upgraded brakes and if possible lowering springs and shocks. That would help ease the pain.
Interestingly I love our minivan (T&C with everything) but the wife flat out refuses to drive it. Go figure.
Love the article, great writing style. Assuming you are not driving sprint cars or monster trucks regularly, you are NOT going to flip the minivan, they are way faster and better handling than you think. My favorite story that convinced the wife we needed one:
https://grassrootsmotorsports.com/articles/soccer-moms-revenge/
My observation is that some women can be very hard on one another. Many a woman would be happy to drive a minivan except for dealing with the disapproval of other women. It seems to be a weird “just because you are happily married and have children it shouldn’t look like you aren’t up for a scandalous time with Mr. Right Now” thing.
Re: Parking sideways.
Sometimes you pull in next to someone who parked sideways and your only choice is to mimic their angle. Sure enough, by the time you come out, they’re gone and everyone thinks *you’re* the idiot who can’t park.
Re: screens, dvds and headphones.
Our aging Venture was halfway through a plug and wire change (not the most fun job on the planet), and so we rented a fancy new town and country with the infotainment system for a trip to carry the missus and five kids. As soon as we were on the highway, the dvd started showing The Lego Movie and not a peep was heard until we reached our destination a couple hours later.
That was the most depressing thing I’ve experienced in a trip. “Here kids, zone out. We don’t want to deal with you now that we’re all together.”
If we ever get a people-mover with infotainment, it will be the first thing to “break.”
Unfortunately, that’s how most people want to parent nowadays. Minimum involvement with the kids, because you can’t look cool while wiping drool and settling arguments.
I’ve got a feeling that I’m going to be very grateful that I’ll be long dead and gone by the time the “VCR/DVD in the family vehicle” generation starts to raise their own families. Assuming they ever get the desire to do so.
That’s one category that the minivan loses to the sedan and station wagon in.
Too difficult to reach back and smack the kids when they’re misbehaving.
“That was the most depressing thing I’ve experienced in a trip. “Here kids, zone out. We don’t want to deal with you now that we’re all together.””
Why didn’t you turn it off? I can understand being depressed about the weather or some other circumstance beyond your control but a DVD player?
Why didn’t you say “gee honey, I feel a deep depression coming on on account of the kids watching the Lego movie on the DVD player. Lets turn it off”?
I don’t see it that way. My kids are almost totally opposite to each other in personality. They get tired and start to annoy each other. My wife doesn’t have much patience and hates travelling. I’m supposed to be driving and concentrating on that task as opposed to trying to distract 2 bored boys and a crabby wife.
If an electronic device or two gains me 30 minutes of travel time and peace and quiet over 500 plus miles of mountainous terrain, I’m all for it. Short trips I can deal with without the electronic aides.
We have a Grand Caravan with DVD unit. Just back from a 2 week trip to BC and back and we used the DVD only after 2pm when driving. Our kids are pretty good and we always have stuff to keep them entertained but when you’re reaching the 5+ hour point the 5 & 8 year old are getting snarky with each other. We don’t use it around town or on the hour trips to the cottage (except if they’re really tired) but it’s a nice feature to have available. Saves me yelling like my Dad did when I was young ;-)
Our 2005 Buick Terraza CXL has performed flawlessly for the four years we have owned it. I have it custom-painted to resemble the Amtrak SDP40F locomotive from the early 1980s. The power sliding doors and remote engine start are wonderful options. Kage, my shepherd-collie, enjoys the DVD system.
May I interest you in a free premium membership in the He-Man-Minivan-Lover’s-Club?
https://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2015/04/nine-year-quest-learned-stop-worrying-looking-cool-love-van/
At the motorcycle shop where I work the worst parkers are the guys with the four door pickups. And the higher the lift kit, the less caring they show in their parking.
Vans are the perfect example of the “I don’t give a f**k what your impression of me is” vehicle. You drive it because its comfortable, it works for you, and next Saturday at Richmond International Raceway we’re going to have one terrific day tailgating before the race. And afterwards I can stretch out in the back while Maggie does the designated driver bit . . . .
. . . . . unless Junior wins. At which point the van is even better for us to camp out overnight, as she’ll be in worse shape to drive than me.
Actually, you make a good point about not giving a fuck.
The people I most often see driving minivans are the ones who look like they’ve given up on life.
Men in shorts, baseball caps and flip-flops rocking fanny packs because that ensemble is – above all else – comfortable on a hot summer day.
And their Better Halves…well…
“This’s your wife? Wow. Did she look like that when you met her, or is that the collateral damage from three pregnancies?”
It’s all image, or lack thereof. Round these here dude ranch parts I see a bunch of very short, fat cowboys awkwardly falling out of four-door condo-size pickups. Tires Simonized, bed pristine. No Skoal ring in the jeans as it’s not allowed at the office.
With a van, plumage is no longer required, as you’ve accomplished what you first bought that ’78 Trans Am for in the first place.
What you’re calling “giving up on life” really means “having no need to impress strangers in the hopes of getting laid”.
You do know where those kids come from, right?
And once those kids are old enough to enjoy trips to the beach, it’s way more fun than it ever was!
Seriously, we have way more fun as a parents than we ever did as insecure 20-somethings with almost no money who had almost no sex. Yes, I have to schlep around a diaper bag and drive a practical family vehicle, but this is *way* more fun than what came before it.
I’ve done a fair amount of that, FWIW I’m ready to be done with it but fate dealt me two blows and it just doesn’t seem like its in the cards.
Would you prefer to see those better halves trying to squeeze into their 16 year old daughters skimpy outfits, tramp stamp exploding out the three sizes too small wasteband?
What you call giving up on life other people call accepting reality.
Funny that. Guess I’ve got something to live up to. I’m 65, still weigh in the 170’s, and the toy shed has fourteen racing bicycles, an ’88 Harley FXR, a ’97 Honda 996 Super Hawk, and a couple of scooters.
The wife? She’s 44, and looks good enough to earn the abject hatred of every female class member or spouse at my 45th high school class reunion just by walking in the door on my arm. Ok, she was almost dressed that evening.
Sorry, my loser days ended the day I graduated high school and got the hell out of town. And I still don’t give a f**k.
You are my kind of a guy, Syke. My story differs in a few details, but otherwise is quite similar.
Once we were liberated from the rigors of HS social statuses, the world became our toy instead of our nightmarish challenge, I suspect, for you as well as for me.
My HS years weren’t hellish, not much bullying by the standards of those days, but once out of there and free to be whoever and whatever I wanted to be, life began to be fun, more and more as time went by.
And it sounds like the same for you. Hope you get to enjoy a lot more of it.
Stow and Go, tinted windows, and lotsa comforters makes for great sex by the ocean. Minivans and Florida are like peanut butter and chocolate baby.
I bought my first minivan in 1998 under severe duress.
I loved owning a minivan – I hated the steaming pile that was the GM U-Body.
When I reached a place of financial security that Jack described as privilege, and I could “afford” a used car due to time and money, we started keeping extra vehicles around. My poison of choice since 2009 has been a minivan.
For basically some of the reasons stated above. An equivalent used SUV/CUV would be 2X the cost out of the gate. It is just as practical, and in some ways more practical. I don’t need to tow, I don’t need to bounce up the side of a mountain so power and ride height are of no interest.
Buying a used minivan for under $10K is also quite liberating – I feel no guilt removing the seats and stacking 42 bags of wet mulch in it, or filling up the back with plants, or helping a neighbor move or…
“Buying a used minivan for under $10K is also quite liberating – I feel no guilt removing the seats and stacking 42 bags of wet mulch in it, or filling up the back with plants, or helping a neighbor move or…”
Amen, brother! Except for hauling large motorcycles in the rear or loads of dirt/mulch, a van doesn’t anything a pickup will do . . . and then some.
My wife is smoking hot and she drives a minivan.
A blue Town & Country to be exact. Its better than the Pilot it replaced in every way except reliability and snow traction. However I fixed that with a Maxcare warranty and snow tires. Nothing beats a Minivan for families. My kids even like it better than the Pilot. Sliding doors ftw!
Almost coincidentally, I see tons of smoking hot women driving minivans. And, of course, chauffeuring their offspring in the same minivans. I’m pretty sure one leads to another…
You’d think hypermasculine men would see minivans as the ultimate vehicle, given that it’s showing off how fertile you are…
Yeah, I’m amused by that contradiction too.
Jacked up monster truck that’s so overwrought that it gets in the way of its own utility: “manly”
Minivan full of kids you made, who depend on you to be a man and a father evey day: “not manly”
LOL.
It’s easy to see why I don’t take the hypermasucline peeps too seriously.
I’ve owned pickup trucks and I like them. But they’re a tool, just like my van is.
I second Motorhead Mamma’s comments about luxury SUVs not being as luxurious as my ten year old beater van.
I could afford one of those luxury SUVs, but the ones I’ve window shopped don’t survive being cross shopped against the decade-old minivan that brought me to the lot.
So, what are they charging those extra dollars for again? The chances are that my very comfortable used minivan and $60k in my pocket are way better that whatever it is that they’re selling.
The minivan is truly a sweet spot in the automotive landscape!!! It’s deeply optimized for what happen to be my needs at this point in my life. I *like* other kinds of vehicles, of course, but my van is the right tool for the right job.
If you don’t care what look like while driving, the minivan is great. Can do the jobs of several vehicles and give you a place to live if necessary.
I do wish that someone had taken the idea of the “hot rod minivan” a little more seriously. While I realize it would be a niche market, it still would have generated some very loyal customers, IMO. I know Chrysler/Dodge has the Man Van, Grand Caravan R/T, but that’s a LWB van. I’d liked to have seen that idea on a SWB van. *THAT* would be cool.
I must admit, like those of us a certain age (my first car shows with my dad were in the, sheesh, 70’s!!!!) I have recently been totally attracted to pics from the vanning craze. They seemed everywhere for a while, were the basis for ‘Truckin magazine, and then they were gone.
How cool would it be to build a badass old Dodge with a modern interior instead of the awful wood and shag from back then? Fat tires and side pipes FTW!
All vans rock, specially once any 2nd and 3rd row seats are out of them.
You really need a Transit Connect.
I’m curious. What SUV do you have?
At the risk of ridicule, I’ll tell you.
It’s a BMW x5m and it’s ridiculously awesome.
“Don’t press the M button Mommy” is my favorite part of carpool!
No ridicule here. People like what they like. I was just curious because it helps me understand your perspective of your “dirty secret”. You also mentioned downhill assist control. My 4Runner had DAC so I was thinking more of a BOF SUV. I stuff my 3 year old in the back of a RWD coupe, so I’m as deserving of ridicule as anyone else. But, jeez, my car is so pretty and makes me smile all the time, so the inconvenience is worth it.
I did sit in a Sienna at the dealer when my car was getting the 20k mile service today. I’d honestly not have a beef with having one of those as the family ride since my wife and I both have fun cars for daily drivers.
I have no problem with an X5M driver who actually considers herself an enthusiast and who uses the M button. It’s the people who buy M or AMG trim because it’s the most expensive even though they really just want a cushy luxury car that bother me.
I think Mercedes is really smart to make an alternative top trim in Maybach models to appeal to those customers though.
Ya know folks it’s all marketing. Nothing more. One doesn’t need to be old enough to figure that out, just wise enough. Zappa once said to the peoples at a concert “you are all wearing uniforms don’t kid yourselves”
We have two minivans. A 2004 Sienna and 2014 Oddy. Both bought new. 100K miles on Sienna now.
The Sienna has the middle seats removed and the back folded down. I use to haul stuff to dump, pick up furniture & home depot runs. But in 10 seconds, I can fold the 3rd row up and have a 5 passenger vehicle. Most of the time it sits, waiting for its chance to work.
The Oddy is my wifes daily driver. Smooth, quiet, spacious, great safety ratings. Got our EX version for $28.8K. Hard to beat. Although, I do prefer the driving position and headroom of the Sienna. More of a “commanding view”. The oddy is more car like.
My 2004 sienna has 240k on it, still looks and drives like new. My uncle has the exact same van and just went over 300k. I’m just curious why you don’t drive the Sienna more?
God bless my beautiful wife, who drives our ’08 Grand Caravan to her job in the land-o-status-symbols-and-uptight-people: Irvine, California. Using the van to tow the race car to the track on weekends is icing on the cake!
I wish the made a real SUV with sliding doors, or a Quigley minivan. No reason you couldn’t put sliding doors on a Tahoe.
Minivans are the automotive equivalent of sensible shoes; they’re comfortable and practical, and the wearers don’t give a damn what people think they look like on you. That old Kia Soul tv commercial with a couple of hamsters driving a toaster pretty much sums it up. You just can’t beat a box on wheels to be the most efficient method of carting around cargo you don’t want exposed to the elements. The only real benefit of an SUV over a minivan might be driveability in inclement weather (i.e., snow) and even that’s debatable.
Fortunately, there seems to be enough thoughtful, practical buyers to keep the minivan market churning for years to come. In fact, I suspect that the market is just one solid innovation away from the minivan reclaiming its rightful place as one of the best selling vehicles. I’m putting my money on some sort of hybrid drivetrain that significantly improves minivan fuel mileage.
I bought a 2003 Chevy Venture on Christmas eve 2004. I negotiated a $13000 price, out the door. That was a $14000 value drop from original sale price in a year and a half. Second worse depreciation according to the magazines of the day.
Still driving it.
I sacrificed it to my children’s growing need to carry pointy, scratchy things past it and further gave it up to help them learn to drive. Looks like hell. Wisconsin rust has gutted the rocker panels and fenders.
I just turned over 160k and it has never stranded me.
Mini.vans are the ultimate driving machines
I bought a minivan before we had kids.
I had THREE minivans at one time; two drivers in the house.
Currently have/drive 96 CAR OF THE YEAR with 180,000 miles. Smoooooooooooth.
Go check out the vankulture website. I like minivans and wouldn’t go overboard like those guys, but I respect it.
The best setup is a van for the (hopefully at least two) kids. A bunch of other cars for the parents.
Can we all agree that it’s unbecoming in a Bertel kind of way to have “slut” in a TTAC title or headline?
Can we all agree? When have “we” all agreed on anything on this site, that would make you think that we could agree on this?
It’s pretty easy to get hung up on a vehicle’s image, and how the vehicle relates to you. Friends, family, advertising…these can play with the mind. I have, in my younger years, purchased vehicles for the wrong reasons. Now with a new Impala, which totally doesn’t fit “my demographic”, there’s evidence that I’m finally comfortable enough with fulfilling my preferences, rather than giving a $hit about appprovals / popular belief. That said, I have long fantasized about owning a loaded, luxurious minivan…a compliant ride, great for household chore hauling, dog hauling, vacations with cargo and family, camping. Currently, the Sedona is the only visually-apealing minivan I’d touch… but let’s revisit the idea again when the next gen Honda and Toyota vans are on sale. Sorry FCA, I can’t include your vans…I can’t take *that* plunge just yet.
Anyone who refuses to drive a minivan because their friends won’t think they’re cool should have their license revoked for no less than 6 months. After half a year of shoe leather and public transport even a rusted out, million mile Volvo 740 will look damn sexy.
I’m putting my money on some sort of hybrid drivetrain that significantly improves minivan fuel mileage.
I have high hopes for the recent Toyota/Mazda partnership. A hybrid SkyActivD Mazdaspeed5? Oh HELL yes!
I love minivans. If we had more than 1 kid it would have been a no-brainer. My two finalists back in 2001 were the Nissan Quest SE and the Trooper. The Quest was perfectly sized, even for today. The only reason I didn’t go with it was I was finishing a 13-year relationship with a Nissan and wanted to try something different.
This weekend my nieces flew in for a family holiday to central Texas, so I rented a Buick Enclave since 3 teenagers and 2 adults and luggage – my Outback would have been a little tight. The Enclave was fine – did a commendable job on the road and I was impressed…but a minivan would have been better, especially behind the 3rd seat.
Folks who avoid the ‘soccer mom’ image by dodging a minivan crack me up…to me, a minivan is a badge of honor for that brief moment in life when you can the kids travel as a family. It’s fleeting in time…
My brother retired his Grand Caravan to stand-by status last year after 12 years of toil…they got a Santa Fe as a replacement, but are looking already to terminate the lease early for something bigger. Like a minivan.