Horns, middle fingers and withering glares have worked well for generations of motorists, and we don’t see a reason to change.
Well, a startup company is now threatening this tradition, and they’re doing it with one of the world’s biggest scourges — emojis. MotorMood wants to insert smiley and winky face emojis into volatile vehicular traffic situations with their new product, the imaginatively named Carmoji.
Your neighbours, or maybe even a friend or relative, helped MotorMood crowdfund $117,000 for this product, which operates via a sun visor-mounted button.
Call us a bunch of grouchy Luddites, but emojis are on par with — and possibly worse — than man buns, beards down to a man’s nipples, and Tumblr. Why, you ask? Why don’t you like smiley faces that light up in a vehicle’s rear window with the push of a wireless button? What’s wrong with a provocative wink or thumbs up? When did your soul die?
For starters, we’re not GM (whose emoji addiction reached Betty Ford levels last year). There’s also a creepy, detached aspect to emojis — especially smiley faces. They can seem awkward and disturbing, like Furries or a team mascot. Granted, hand clapping emojis are useful when you can’t find that gif of Orson Welles applauding in Citizen Kane.
Another thing: when would you utilize a winky face emoji in traffic? What type of vehicular interaction warrants a wink? I saw what you did there, big boy. You sly devil, you.
If a motorist wants to assert their individual liberty and spend 20 bucks on a Carmoji, that’s their right, but driving calls for a certain level of suspicion towards other drivers. Adding a Carmoji to your rear window seems a lot like adding a target to your back, and inviting others to share less-than-friendly gestures.
That’s what vegan bumper stickers are for.
[Animated image: MotorMood]
I deal with most traffic issues by simply speeding away from them. As long as they’re behind me, they aren’t an issue.
I tend to avoid road rage – since I’m usually driving something which I see worth protecting more than my opponent, who’se usually in a soul-less import econobox, but PLEASE…DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SPEED PAST ME in your moment of rage.
I’m faster than you are.
Just take deep breath and calm down.
FIRST
Ahahahahahahaha.
I had to log in just for this, back to lurking.
So you submit a quick reply to be first and then edit it? That’s not sad at all…..
Charles Darwin might say that any organism with “advantages” over other organisms is most likely to survive long enough to reproduce.
Those advantages might be claws, sharp teeth or perhaps:
A core i7 6700 with a Titan X 12GB, 32GB RAM and a multi monitor setup in his office.
DARWIN APPROVES.
Agreed — I think keeping you indoors and chained to a computer (even a middling one) is a net benefit for the species as a whole.
Till 3:00…
And then I will be free to reign terror on the highways
Muahahahahahaha
@darkwing – LOL
Nice computer, but what in the world does a real estate broker do with a Titan X? Play Grand Theft Auto in 4K?
What kind of comp? I can imagine you having a sweet Thinkstation P900 in your office.
I think the implication was that he should have many children by now, right? He’s in his 40s!
“Darwin approves”.
Got any kids?
The guy with the Mazda5 and 6 kids (Ask Bark) is more alpha than a big truck. :)
Go Mazda!
Article here:
https://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2016/06/ask-bark-company-man/
Titan X – nice!
You say “I’m faster than you are” but you cower and mew and whimper at the thought of racing Yamahog for titles. What do you have to lose?
“Millennials…”
Hey Mark, we didn’t invent smiley faces. That blame lies solely with Forrest Gump.
I remember the happy face craze back in the late 70’s early 80’s.
The inventor of the smiley was never interested in profits, interestingly. He just wanted to make a happy, recognizable thing.
Stupid and pointless.
Remember those old LED signboards you could put in the back of your windshield?
My “I LOVE MY HATERS” bumper sticker is enough for me.
Can I get one that says “I HATE MY LOVERS” ?
I wonder if a National Rifle Association and Gadsden Flag sticker on the back window is enough to deter would-be ragers.
Deter them? A sign like that seems like a good opportunity to get the drop on them. A slug through his back window should end any arguments before they even start.
Or, alternatively, maybe just don’t try to make Mad Max into reality.
Is there an emoji for “Baby on Board”?
I think this may be a positive in that it’s better than Truck Nutz, which hopefully was the nadir of automotive accessories. So we’re on our way back up.
Edit: I thought I saw something similar before: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/d138/?srp=4
:|
:-/
Those are emoticons!!
:(
A Bernie Sanders bumper sticker is enough for me- besides that it really pisses off the knuckle dragging Trump fans here in ultra conservative Oklahoma.
I can see the TV ad campaign now. Cue spy car chase music. James Bond is ripping down the highway in his Aston, being chased by another sports car. He gets stuck in the righthand lane behind a slow moving truck. He looks in his rearview mirror. The other car is gaining on him! It suddenly flashes its headlights. Bond pulls out in front of the other car and speeds off. His hand goes up to the sunvisor, past buttons marked “smokescreen”, “oil slick” and “flamethrower” to one with a happyface. He presses it, and gives the other driver a big thumbs-up for letting him in.
I eagerly await my royalty cheque for this idea. I will not use it to buy one of these.
I often want to communicate more complex messages to other drivers, but those messages are almost exclusively limited to:
– STOP USING YOUR BRAKES; and
– MOVE OVER
Adding:
– You left your blinker on
– You left your gas cap open
– You have a flat tire
– Stop texting
Unfortunately, if they are texting, they won’t see the last one.
Speaking of distracted driving…
I recall seeing a video about mag wheels with built in LED’s. An onboard computer would allow a person to display what ever image or message they wished in the wheels.
watch?v=kb3THwZjnHY
Somehow, I doubt I’ll see the first one of these devices in the back window of a pristine ’65-’66 Mustang convertible. More likely a slammed Mk. 3 GTI with an “illest” decal offset over the driver-side headlight; or sharing glass space with a witty sticker about a child’s school achievements on a silver Kia CUV.
With all the road rage incidents in the world, you actually *want* a device that trims other motorists’ wicks?
Can I get this one?
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/73/Trollface.png
This idea sounds creative yet stupid simultaneously.
That’s just what we need.
Great. Now the jack-off that veers in front of you unexpectedly or makes you brake check can flash you a little smiley-faced pile of poo. Fun times.
(My oldest daughter has a “poo” pillow. ‘Nuff said.)
I just want one message that says “F*CK OFF”.
I’m so behind the times, I still have my Jabba the Hutt Beanie-Baby from the 90’s on my car’s rear windscreen dash.
Is there an animated emoticon for GFY? Guess it would look like @ ,just in motion.