As you’re probably aware, Tesla boss Elon Musk’s big dig side project, the drolly named Boring Company, is selling “flamethrowers” for $500 a pop in a bid to raise 10 million dollars for the fledgling business.
While The Boring Company will not build you a car, it does have Musk’s name all over it, and its goal is to see vehicles transported to underground highways via roadside elevators, where the cars and trucks are then whisked to their destination via autonomous, electric sleds. It’s all very Jetsons-like. In the future, it seems, the affluent and cultured Eloi live underground, not the Morlocks.
As for the flamethrower, there’s critics aplenty. The Drive‘s Alex Roy calls it a butane torch of limited usability, as real flamethrowers actually shoot a line of flammable liquid over great distances. One Twitter follower said the “flamethrower,” which Musk claims is just the thing for surviving the zombie apocalypse, would actually be useless against the shuffling undead, as flamethrowers primarily kill through asphyxiation. Zombies don’t breathe.
It doesn’t seem there’s even the option of narrowing the gas jet in order to take care of the grass and weeds filling the cracks in your front walkway. Naturally, California lawmakers are already planning a ban.
Still, Musk’s fire rifle got me to thinking: what non-automotive product would you like to see offered by an automaker?
Back in the 1950s, Chrysler Corporation held the distinction of building the world’s loudest air raid siren. Powered by the company’s 331 Hemi V8, the Chrysler Air-raid Siren was designed to alert all capitalism-loving Americans within earshot to the presence of the Red Menace.
That’s great for cities and counties worried about the H-bomb, but what about the private consumer?
In the past, and continuing to the present day, car companies have diversified their income stream with oddball creations. During times of war, we’ve even seen military vehicles and armaments. In World War 2, General Motors designed and built the M3 “Grease Gun” — a light, clip-fed submachine gun in .45 ACP and 9mm chamberings.
Volkswagen Group apparently sells a ketchup in its homeland, supposedly to serve with currywurst, a food dish I only learned of last year. Honda, as you know, builds a small private jet. A few years ago, Ford debuted a folding electric bicycle that can fit in the trunk of your car. The list goes on and on.
As automakers look for ways to rake in that sweet, sweet dough in a future devoid of icky automobiles, or at least ones with human drivers, we’ll surely see many new products brought to market by profit-hungry automakers. Let your mind wander. What non-automotive product offered by your favorite carmaker would you line up for at 5 a.m.?
A real flamethrower bearing the Hellcat logo? A double-stack Hyundai 9mm? An EcoBoost-badged hedge trimmer? The sky’s the limit. Who knows, maybe your suggestions will help nudge the product from fiction to reality.
[Image: The Boring Company]
‘Flamethrower’, that’s when The J. Geils Band sold out to MTV. Horrible song by a band that should have known better. Umm, I have some Loc-Tite adhesive, isn’t that made by GM?
Or when ZZ Top which was a well regarded blues band sold out to MTV. Though the hot rods were cool.
I’m really not sure why Tesla went with a flamethrower when the golden opportunity would have been tasers and stunners.
Seriously, why not home security with a Red Alert 2-style Tesla gun or tower?
The M3 was clip-fed? I always thought it had a magazine, and a long one at that. Pretty distinct differences between the two.
A difference most people don’t bother to understand or remember.
The BC Flamethrower is seven levels of embarrassment.
A flamethrower is just the thing for dealing with special snowflakes. Perhaps Musk is actually onto something here.
Propulsion Gel. Combustible Lemons. 1500 Megawatt Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button. Handheld Portal Device. The list goes on.
Fish-shaped candies
Arm-chair from Volvo or old Saab.
Seconded. Volvo’s seats are so comfortable and well-engineered. And i love their Scandinavian design sense, which is way better than that of IKEA.
According to my good friend, who is a Volvo salesman, one of their clients bought a current-model XC90 Inscription just to take the seats out and install them in his private jet. Why he couldn’t have just purchased the seats…I don’t know.
“…one of their clients bought a current-model XC90 Inscription just to take the seats out and install them in his private jet. Why he couldn’t have just purchased the seats…I don’t know.”
Even if Volvo offers that option, buying the seats themselves may have created an unwelcome paper trail as they surely aren’t approved for use in aircraft (aviation furnishings carry flammability and crash-worthiness certification standards well beyond automotive requirements.) I’d be curious to know the shop that agreed to install them.
This would be a Supplemental Type Certificate (STC) issue. You have modified the aircraft with non-standard equipment, so now you have to meet or exceed the original certification standards. Of course if you own a private jet, money may not be an issue.
The FAA won’t issue an STC for parts that wouldn’t/can’t meet certification standards.
The owner is free to register his Gulfstream or Challenger as an experimental aircraft if the seats are that important to him, but that would tend to destroy its value in a manner that even the most well-heeled 1%ers would notice.
This… This I would actually consider.
Come to think of it, I might just have to go to see what seats from wrecked volvos go for…
Many days I’ve wanted a desk chair that is made from a car seat, but I’m not willing to the coin those require. I’ve also wanted a row of airline seats as the seats across from my desk in my office. They are uncomfortable enough that no one will want to stay for long.
That last one is a great idea.
I’ve thought about buying an E65 7 Series seat, mounting it on a swivel mechanism and hooking up the wiring so that it can be adjusted outside the car.
I happen to have the front passenger seat from an 2009 Infiniti G37x sedan waiting for this treatment.
Surprising to me, I didn’t think Musk would roll out the flamethrower until the aircraft, bass boat, and snowmobile had been announced.
People bought refrigerators from GM for 60 years or so (Frigidaire).
Leonard and Kelvinator-Nash were part of AMC. When I was in college we bought an old Leonard refrigerator for the dorm, nicknamed “Lorretta” for the young lady someone had painted in the door.
Chrysler Airtemp and Chrysler Marine. They were sold off in the Iacocca era.
There was also the VW Jetta Trek bicycle package. A inexpensive bike by a auto manufacturer would be a good tie in especially in a era of popular CUV’s
And don’t forget diesel locomotives, earthmovers, 18 wheelers (including GM diesel engines and automatic transmissions), satellites, army tanks, and lots more.
Considering Elon’s clear evolution into Hank Scorpio, I’m holding out for the Tesla hammock (now available in the Hammock District!).
Wow, I didn’t know an electric flamethrower was possible, but I’m sure it will save many polar bears from the dangerous emissions caused by ordinary fossil burning flamethrowers. Wait a minute – this thing is not electric – you mean Elon’s flamethrower burns carbon fuels to create a flame just like every other flamethrower? Just how is this going to save the planet from global warming? I’m going to sell all my Tesla stock in protest.
We already buying these things. Honda lawn mover, power washer, etc. Subaru power washer. Hyundai power tools. What not. But the coolest were those Peugeot bikes.
I would buy a Saab JAS 39, for pest control. A used F/A-18 Hornet would bust my budget.
A mechanic’s shirt with an automaker logo and one of those patches with my first name on it. Kind of reminiscent of that old Rodney Dangerfield movie where he had a fashion line of bowling shirts. Yeah, I know I could hunt around and find a shirt and some patches and make my own but I’m rather lazy.
I bought a T-shirt from BMW last week, does that count? Also once bought my wife a water bottle from Acura, basically as a reminder that her RDX purchased at the beginning of December counted as most of her Christmas present.
Volvo and IKEA giving us a vehicle we assemble ourselves with an allen key and cryptic instructions.
How about Ram-branded erectile dysfunction meds?
Million dollar idea.
Corvette-brand gold chains.
I’d love to still be able to purchase promotional vehicle models through a dealer’s service department.
Ecoboost vacuum cleaners.
I want Toyota or Honda to sell me a full-size shed that I can assemble with nothing but 10mm and 12mm sockets and a Phillips screwdriver.
Pretty sure Rubbermaid already offers something like that.
Practically speaking, I want whoever designed the Honda Fit’s folding rear seats to take a shot at remodeling my small apartment.
And maybe a motorcycle with Mazda’s current design language.
I would love to see a Hellcat powered version of that air raid siren.
At that point, it would change from an emergency siren into a war drum. Instead of warning us about them, it could probably reach far enough to warn them about us!
I thought GM locomotives were pretty badass. Sad they sold it off.
GM made furnaces too. I actually had one in a house.
They also made a furnace called the Pontiac Fiero.
There is a product marketing company that produces a limited number of cars to promote the merchandise in their catalog.
http://store.ferrari.com/us_en/
Just out of curiosity, how much do they really make with the merchandising vs. the car sales? Does anyone have the numbers? Is the merchandising a small part of their income or are they making serious money with it.
A Carbon Monoxide sensor in the car that you can detach and take with you when going into a hotel room or trailer.