Since TTAC has been invisible to most of the internet since Thursday, we thought it’d be an appropriate time to ask: what’s your idea of an “invisible car”?
Some are bought on purpose. The private dicks (I’ve always wanted to work that into a post) and investigators of the world are said to intentionally select vehicles that blend into the background. The ninth-gen Impala, produced for an interminable 10 years, is a stereotypical choice, especially in a muted color.
There is also something to be said for piloting a minivan (doesn’t seem to matter the color, make, or model). Whether it’s thanks to people’s eyes glazing over the instant they see one or thinking a minivan driver already has enough on their plate in the form of squawking offspring, those boxes-on-wheels generally do not elicit a second or indeed even first glance from most constabulary. Not that I’ve ever taken advantage of that behaviour. No, sir.
Others take great pains to make their cars look plain-jane when they’re actually hairy-chested beasts that would give a Hellcat a fright at the dragstrip. Google “sleeper hot rod” and one will find images of staid Mercury Marquis wagons (the small ones, natch) stuffed with V8 power. They’re invisible only until the driver puts their right foot down.
What your pick for the Greyest of Them All? Oh, and hats off to Subaru for skewering the phenomenon of automobiles-as-appliances back in 2011.
[Images: Subaru/YouTube]
Decades ago SNL did a pseudo commercial/skit for the Chameleon XL, designed for invisibility against theft. It had mismatched fenders, missing hubcaps, and a simulated oil leak, but inside- the finest luxury appointments.
I’d buy that,along with a Bass-O-Matic.
Forgot about that. Interior was an S-Klasse, IIRC!
I also remember a segment of Jeremy Clarkson’s Car Years (How Japan Took Over The World…And Then Lost It) where he has a white Corolla stashed in among various fridges and microwaves and then pretends not to be able to find the car among the other “white goods” appliances.
And he’s right. The last time someone showed me a picture of a Corolla, I had to smile and nod but then I stared at the picture for several minutes trying to find the car. I ended up finding three hiding ninjas, Waldo and a sailboat when I did the Magic Eye thing but no car.
With the current CUV craze, I would pick a 2.0L Equinox as my private eye car. They are so common around here that they are practically invisible, and with the bland selection of picked colors, they really do start to look the same.
My wife, bless her soul, is a lawyer. Who drives a wildly colored Mini Cooper with black stripes. With a personalized plate. Given the divorce and criminal work she has done, I want her to get get a silver Camry but nooooooo.
This. Any white silver charcoal grey beige CUV… can be Asian or even German but they all tend to blend into one another.
I feel that some sedans like the Camry try hard to be ‘sporty’ or avantgarde to little effect.
Something like a CRV is so anonymous.
I always found it disappointingly ironic that Subaru made this commercial first as a joke and then treated it as a promise just a few years later.
Especially considering that the Optima turned into a sleek and stylish missile compared to the slow and frumpy Legacy at about the exact moment these ads aired.
Absolutely. They came out with this ad for the 2010 Legacy campaign, which was the worst Legacy design ever, and was about as bland as a midsize sedan could be.
(I’m a 10 year+ Subaru salesperson, I have no bias against Subaru, but this ad was very self-referential).
“what’s your idea of an “invisible car”?”
Jaguar XE.
Interesting pick Jaguar XE. I don’t really agree, but I don’t really disagree either.
He ain’t wrong. Cover up the Jaguar nameplates and tell me who makes this car:
http://2-photos7.motorcar.com/used-2018-jaguar-xe-25tpremiumrwd-762-16898362-5-1024.jpg
Good luck.
The thing is, I like the XE. But now, I can totally see it as a blase automobile. I feel like I just lost one more car I thought was interesting.
Depends on the neighborhood – upscale neighborhoods of California it is probably a Tesla S, Leaf, or Prius (the Leaf and Prius for the household staff to use), in Texas and most of the western interior and plains states it is probably an F-150, in Vermont and Colorado its probably a Subaru Forester, in Florida it is either an oldish Lincoln or Cadillac (retired) or whatever the most popular rental car is at the moment (Camry?).
So, when a vehicle is popular, its invisible? While I get that seeing many examples of the same car can get one desensitized to it, it doesn’t always work that way. An Impala is more invisible than a Charger, even though the Charger sells better.
I don’t think there is any city or state in America where the Charger is highly popular, but if there is I expect a Charger in a popular or dull color would blend right in with one exception. The potential problem with a Charger, Taurus, Tahoe, or Explorer is that they are widely used for police duty, so anyone with some awareness is likely to think anyone driving one is an undercover cop. If I want to blend in I don’t want to be seen in anything unique or widely used by the police.
I drive a black Charger, lots of people slow down when I’m behind them.
Cripes almighty, sometimes I feel like some do-gooders like to pull out in front of me when I’m the only car around to slow me down to five below the speed limit — in an Accord! Can’t imagine how someone driving a car like yours, or a Crown Vic, would feel!
> So, when a vehicle is popular, its invisible?
Come to the west coast of Canada and see how amazingly fast it becomes a non-issue when a Lamborghini goes by….
@stuntmonkey
You must be from Vancouver too!
Isn’t it hilarious to see Porsche 911’s and Maserati’s with ‘N’ stickers on them. It still blows my mind.
Nissan Altima, in beige.
I want to change my answer. I believe the Tesla Model 3 is the most invisible car. There were supposed to be thousands upon thousands on the road by now, but I just don’t see them, so… They must be invisible.
Teslas already suffer from high insurance rates due to expensive to repair body structures, but an invisible car is bound to get in a lot of fender benders so I don’t want to see the rates on those invisible Model 3s.
JohnTaurus, your comment produced a good, old-fashioned guffaw.
I just saw a transporter on I70 east of KC last week heading eastbound with about 7 or 8 3s, believe it or not
Well played, John.
:D
The Mercury Montego. It’s as big as a midsize crossover. They all came in beige, silver, or late-90’s maroon and have exceptionally nondescript styling. They’ve got a smoothish v6 hamstrung with a cvt to keep it from being quick, and enough bulk and soft suspension to keep any non-retired driver from thinking about trying to drive aggressively. They only sold as the Montego for a couple years before the restyle and rename to Sable, so no one is going to remember what the car was if they try to describe it.
9th gen Impala is invisible car perfection.
Commit a crime in one and most non-enthusiast witnesses will swear: “Ummmmmm, it was a car. Ehhhhh… grey? Mmmmmm maybe silver?”
Around here the junkies seem to roll in turn of the Century W-bodies and Chrysler cloud cars (that and beat up trucks). Makes it hard to analyze grainy surveillance video or to go off of a lay-person’s description. As we speak there’s a wrecked Concorde without plates sitting a few blocks away that I suspect someone abandoned after some drunk driving. Silver with a gold trunk and rear bumper, missing hubcaps.
It doesn’t hurt that the 7th gen Honda Accord and 9th gen Impala look remarkably similar from the rear.
“What your pick for the Greyest of Them All?”
Grey 2004 Camry?
This! A Camry in grey or gold would be my go to bank heist car. It would be like the opening bank robbery in Dark Knight except every road USA.
BTW is that a first gen Kia Optima that Subaru tinkered with to get “Mediocrity”?
I think it’s a galant.
http://strongauto.net/wp-content/uploads/2012-Mitsubishi-Galant-1.jpg
Yep 1g Optima
Definitely an Optima… before they were actually styled.
These ads made me wonder about the Optima’s stylists….how did they feel about their car being skewered like this…they knew that was their car!
Throughout much of the 2000’s, I had a 1997 Oldsmobile
Cutlass Supreme (W-Body coupe, 3.1 L82 V6) in that ubiquitous
dark green GM color as a daily driver. It looked just like this:
http://www.2carpros.com/forum/automotive_pictures/288618_Picture_004_1.jpg
That car was absolutely and wonderfully invisible.
Cops ignored it. I even used to drive it to parties
in the ghetto warehouse districts of Detroit, with
not a worry in the world. Sadly, rust began to take
its toll in various areas so I sold it to a happy new
owner (who did not care about the cancer) still
running and driving fine with over 240K miles
on the odometer.
My former 01 Hyundai Elantra (silver) was totally invisible. Its only distinguishing feature was a large dent in the trunk lid.
I always said it would be the perfect getaway car for a bank robbery.
Was the Camry for eons, but at this point they are so eye-searingly ugly you can’t help but notice them.
I guess now any of the utterly interchangeable mid-market CUVs.
“Invisible” car? Anything black, white, grey, silver…. They’re all so much alike that people simply don’t see them unless the occupants make them obvious through their actions.
How do I know? Because people in my HOA group have been commenting about a series of vehicles so bland as to be unrecognizable (Nissan? Honda? Chevy?Ford? etc.) with a guy in the driver’s seat wielding a long telephoto-lens camera.
Ford C-max, it is an nondescript blob that is rare enough that people don’t know what they are.
Case in point my wife’s current car started it life of service to the state as a deep undercover unit for the dept of corrections. Rather than the standard exempt plate it had a “confidential” plate and title assigned to it with a fictitious address and owner, so that if the dirty cop ran a check on the plate it wouldn’t give them useful information but it would give the DOC the knowledge of who ran the plate.
It made for a bit of a hassle getting it registered since when it finished its undercover tour of duty they stuck the original exempt plate on it and shredded the confidential title. They then gave me the original title but it was considered old and invalid. Thankfully I know the person at the local licensing sub agency and she made it happen.
Grey / Silver previous generation Honda Civics. As I look out of my window here at work, I see 6 of them. Silver Corollas come in at a close second.
The 8th-Gens (2006-2011) are a close second! Silver or the Carbon Bronze ones are a dime-a-dozen!
I just want to talk about the stupid Subaru commercial; you say “skewering,” I say “one of the most hypocritical spots ever put to air by an auto manufacturer.” The 2005-2009 Legacy wasn’t anything to write home about styling-wise, but it still remains one of the best-looking Subaru sedans and wagons the company every put out, and it was at least sporty in driving experience, with a B-Spec trim available and of course the 2.5 GT. The 2011 Legacy wasn’t only a Gawdawful outright ugly lumpy mess that eyes should be shielded from (I believe MotorTrend compared the fender arches to melted cheese) but it marked the beginning of the end for the Legacy as a credible midsize alternative to those who shun both SUV and large car for the same reasons, and filing the Legacy under the same midsize trends that instead saw them creep up to near large-car status and thus large-car stigma. It was larger than necessary (markedly larger than the outgoing one – the dimensions of the ’11 and the ’18 are very close, so if you’ve seen an ’11-’18 parked next to a ’05-’09 you’ve probably been as astonished as I’ve been), lost a big chunk of its sportiness and the biggest insult of all, due to its “lumpy melted cheese” inspired styling didn’t even make good use of its interior space so the interior wasn’t even as big as the exterior suggested (at least this was corrected with the ’15 redo). Not to mention its back-of-the-class fuel economy (again, corrected in the ’15).
TL;DC: this was an ad for one of the least desirable midsize cars this side of the Dodge Avenger. BTW, I daily drive a ’15 Outback. It drives like wheeled Novocaine.
@08Suzuki – You really need to shop for a different vehicle from a different manufacturer. You are driving a Legacy wagon.
Invisibility cloak definitely should be awarded to the Chrysler Town & Country with the Honda Odyssey as a close runner up. I frequently rent cars and often pick up a T&C for the mere reason that you can commit any number of traffic crimes (speeding, illegal U-turn, so on and so forth) with up till now zero accountability. No one notice, nor do I think they care. Even when I see a minivan doing something ‘out of bounds’ I just figure the driver has a kid that they are: late picking up, is puking, needs medical attention ASAP, hungry, has to pee. All things that may require an illegal u-turn or speeding from time to time.
My wife, who used to drive a T&C, claims it is because most cops are afraid of the helicopter mom giving them the what for when they pull them over.
Hmmmm!
I would think the Glock in the holster would trump the most pi$$ed soccer mom, particularly if the offspring aren’t in the vehicle during the stop!
+1
Every single Camry ever made.
Wrong.
I notice them immediately, moreso than other cars, and take immediate action to not be caught behind one.
Champagne colored Camrys are the worst. I literally want to rip my own head off and throw it through their rear window in an effort to get them to move over so that others can pass.
Garrett, you described my feelings to a T about the RAV4.
Yes, even the previous gen venerable v6, which is lost on it’s owners.
…and so maybe V6 Camrys would make better undercover detective or other police use cars than some that are more commonly used. Years ago, when I still lived in the USA, undercover cop cars were so obviously “undercover” with their wider-than-standard tires, dog dish hubcaps, and slightly more aggresive stance than standard, that it was exceedingly easy to immediately spot them, especially if they were Panthers. Most of today’s V6 intermediate-sized cars in mid-spec trim would serve the undercover need better, I think.
Not every, only beige, silver and grey. Did you see green one? – it hurts my eyes
It seems this is the reason Acura sedans exist.
I’d pick a four-year-old CR-V or RAV4, volume trim, with slightly oxidized paint and dirty front wheels. (Around here a non-turbo Forester would work too.)
If you are somewhere rural, make that a F-150 or Silvy, same age and condition.
I inherited Mom’s light metallic blue 1994 Buick LeSabre in 2008 and I think I found the perfect invisible car for Miami for the time. I don’t think cops ever gave me a second glance. There were even stories around town that LeSabres were something of thief-bait because they made hard-to-notice getaway cars. However, they’re less common these days (along with other clean H-body cars) and stand out a bit more.
Infiniti m56/37 for luxury invisibility. 2005-2009 toyota avalon. Chevy trailblazer for suv invisibility (ss models are hilariously identical to the standard model) and my personal favorite, the acura rl. So irrelevant that you forgot it was even and still is in production (as the rlx).
Silver last-gen Tahoe.
This is becoming less true due to age, but Taurus/Sable wagons would get zero notice regardless of the speed it was traveling. In addition to the ubiquity of those models in sedan form, the wagon added just a soupçon of non-descript anonymity. I’ve driven mine at 85-90 mph and have never been stopped in it.
For current vehicles, Rogue for sure. Of any vehicle ever made, I’d take a 1998-2014 Corolla, tadpole Civic, 2000s Sierra, or first gen Jeep Liberty,
Two words: silver Accord.
Invisible car? I lost a whole Prius in a fog bank a couple of weeks ago. As I was starting to make a left turn, this gray Prius shows up out of the fog. The idiot did not have his headlights on. I should have tried to win the “white-trash lottery”. Let him hit me and sue his a$$ off.
Otherwise, I think it depends upon where you are. Every so often I go home and see tons of the latest whatever Lordstown is putting out. Around here, we have a metric ton of Malibus, and Altimas, depending upon who’s offering better deals at the moment…
Here in the Colorado snowbelt, silver Subaru Crosstreks are everywhere.
I joke with a friend that his is the perfect getaway car for a crime.
Officer:”did you see what kind of car the criminal was driving?…..A silver Crosstrek?, ahhhh okay, right.”
All Nissans. Don’t have to pick a color because they all come in grey/silver.
Mine is white. :)
Any Nissan sedan made in the last 10 years. They’re all over the place here, Maxima, Altima, Sentra, Versa, doesn’t matter, they’re all dull as toast and very common.
The prior generation Impala is something that sticks out like a sore thumb IMO. Yes its super bland styling wise, but I’m always looking out for them because that seems to be the only un-marked car Metro police uses. They’re usually black, silver or grey.
Also any sort of Honda CR-V, especially an older one is really too easy to blend in. I know that body style has changed like 4 or 5 times since the late 90’s, but I’d be damn hard pressed to figure out what year your CR-V is, they all look the same to me.
I’d say that for aggressively standard families in the Southeastern Suburban Wilds, any gray Korean SUV. Not distinctive by not being a sedan, driven by the kind of people no one really has anything to say about. They look like they should come with stick figure families on the back.
any four door sedan….Probably a de-badged Golf R….
Think it depends on where you live. Here in Puget Sound the previous generation Prius is as ubiquitous as you can get.
In my area
1. Any late model Subaru Outback. Preferably Black, White, or some shade of Gray.
2. Mercedes C-Class/BMW 3-Series. Same colors as the Subarus- probably their garage mates.
3. Black or White Escalade or Denali.
4. Lifted full-size 4X4 pickup, in Black or Gray. If it’s White, it belongs to a landscaper or contractor.
If whatever you drive is more than 10 yrs old, you probably don’t live around here.
I have a Red Charger, wife has a Blue Camry. Haven’t seen duplicates of either in the past year around here.
Somehow brought back memories of this old Mad Tv sketch. This is an invisible car/brand.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jCuahtsa3rI
Beige Camry, silver RAV4, white CR-V. Just pick whatever the blandest color on the most common vehicle is, and you’ll blend right in, in plain sight.
I drive an invisible car – a gray 7th gen. Camry. Everybody thinks it’s a rental or I’m an Uber driver.
Here is an example of what must be the most invisible car in Mexico.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/40/%2706-%2708_Chevrolet_Chevy_3-Door.jpg
I believe that the Toyota Camry in some common non-color would be the most invisible car. As long as you drive a Camry smoothly with the flow of traffic, nobody will notice you. Government agencies like the police almost always buy domestic brands so a Camry doesn’t attract attention as a potential cop car. It’s not tall enough to attract attention by blocking your view of the road. It doesn’t have many low-rent customers like an Altima so you don’t worry that the Camry driver might cause an accident near you. A Toyota Camry is incredibly common and doesn’t look out of place in most neighborhoods.
If I had to go incognito, probably a Subaru Outback around here.
Every time I see a Subaru commercial, I think, there’s one more reason I don’t drive that car! Their commercials are among the worst in the business.