They’re large, expensive, and hail from a time when the sedan was king of the luxury pyramid. German exclusivity personified in three flagships — but which will you burn?
BMW 735i
The sporty one. BMW introduced the second generation of its flagship 7 Series model in 1986; forums called it E32. Improvements over the prior version included many more electronic gizmos, additional control over things like traction and climate, and a more refined interior. V8 and V12 engines debuted in this generation, but in 1991 options were limited to cylinder counts of six or 12. Today’s selection is the top-trim 735i with a 3.4-liter inline-six. With 208 horsepower on tap, both manual and automatic transmissions are available. Choose whichever you like.
Audi V8 Quattro
The new boy. Audi decided to get into the full-size luxury sedan game in 1988. It was the first time Audi implemented a V8 in any of its vehicles, and also the first time an automatic transmission was paired to the Quattro all-wheel drive system. Just think, at one point in time all Quattro Audis had manual transmissions. Two different V8s were offered in the V8 Quattro, dependent on when the purchase was made. The introductory 3.6-liter V8 was offered from 1988 to 1993, while the larger 4.2 went into production late in 1991 for 1992 model cars. That means today’s V8 is the smaller one, offering 247 horsepower. Zero to 60 took 9.9 seconds with the automatic, or 7.6 seconds with the manual. Your choice.
Mercedes-Benz 420SEL
The stalwart. 1991 was the final model year for the frankly epic W126 S-Class, as the following year it was replaced by the larger, heavier, and much more complicated W140 version. Launched in 1981, the W126’s impressive decade-long run was punctuated by a variety of engine offerings of inline-six or V8 configurations. 1986 saw major updates to the S-Class line, as well as reconfigured engine offerings. Two V8 engines were offered after ’86: the 4.2 in the 420SEL, and the full-fat 5.5-liter in the 560SEL. Today we reach the lower end of V8, with the ever-conservative Mercedes only offers 201 horses. Hey, at least there are dual airbags. An automatic transmission is the only one on offer.
Three exclusive German sedans, and only one goes home to the garage. Which will it be?
[Images: BMW, seller, Audi]
You kiddin’?
Buy the Benz. Three times.
Drive the BMW.
Burn the Audi
(And if we were playing today, I’d still buy the Benz, I’d drive the Audi, and burn the BMW three times.)
I mean, this is the only comment we need, right?
I grew up in the back seat of a 420SEL, which my dad bought in ’86 and which still looked new when we sold it and moved overseas in ’93. It’s probably still running today.
Far as I’m concerned, the W126 belongs on any serious list of Greatest Cars Ever. It isn’t even fair.
Agreed. This M-B harks back to the day when a Mercedes- any Mercedes – implied quality and serious long term durability. It’s not even close. I can’t help but think how far they have drifted from that “Engineered Like No Other Car in the World” standard of excellence…Buy the Benze, drive the BMW, burn this Audi
Still, I appreciate what Audi has morphed into and if these choices were all about 15 years newer I’d change the order considerably.
100%
I think through a 1991 lens, I’d have ended up with the BMW. It had superior brand recognition to the Quattro, and was not as staid as the Mercedes. So the Audi gets driven because it’s unique, and the Mercedes burns.
In the current year, I’d buy the Mercedes because it’s so timeless, and drive the Audi because it’s rare, and burn the BMW.
Fair point, but back then, the Benz was still the go-to choice.
At the time, the Mercedes-Benz was ancient and had never been as loved as the previous generation anyway. It was more durable than the E32 though. I’d have bought a BMW. Actually, that’s what I was doing back then. Looking back, I should have been evolved enough to appreciate the LS400 that made these all seem underpowered and chintzy. I had an SC400 as a company car a few years later and I still didn’t like it. The power antenna had issues and it ate rear tires. I shrugged off never having a new BMW where the engine or transmission didn’t catastrophically fail in the first two years of ownership, but heck if I was going to tolerate a Lexus that needed a power antenna repair!
I wouldn’t fault anyone for taking the 7-series – my dad had the previous-gen one, with a manual, and it was a hoot. If I remember correctly, the V-12 model had an all-leather interior.
The Audi, on the other hand, was a too-thinly disguised 5000. My dad had one of those too, and it was dogs**t.
But before and after the BMW and Audi detours, it was all Mercedes in our driveway. It was the way to go back then. I was 32 in ’91 and never saw that car as “ancient.” All you had to do to sell yourself on a S-class was close the back doors.
>>>
The Audi, on the other hand, was a too-thinly disguised 5000. My dad had one of those too, and it was dogs**t.
<<<
I had an Audi 5000 CS with manual transmission and FWD. The manual made a HUGE difference in the drivability of the car (or at least the acceleration). I had a colleague with the 5000 Turbo Quattro, which was SLOOOOW by comparison. Unless it's snowing outside there's not much practical use for Quattro at these power-to-weight ratios. Plus, with the simple drive system, mine would crest 30 MPH on road trips.
Dad’s had the naturally aspirated five, and it transcended slow as we know it. You actually had to turn off the A/C to avoid speed drops on steep hills. Just awful.
The V8 engine transformed the nature of the car. They also made a whole lot of very appreciated design and build refinements from the 5000 to the V8. It wasn’t a W126 but it felt appropriately luxury and was quite nice to drive (including at 140 mph on the Autobahn).
You would not be able to drive the Audi. It being under layers of dust in your garage …waiting… for the sixth (teenth) time… for you to try to fix the poor delicate flower that it is. Drives great? Sure! You bet! Until it didn’t. Until it dug its heels in and said: “ I’m done… stop trying to resurect me…”.
They don’t build cars like the W126 anymore…come to think of it, nobody ever did.
Buy: M-B
Drive: BMW
Burn: The Audi, even though I always had a thing for the V8 Quattro.
DAMN YOU COREY! I DON’T WANT TO PLAY YOUR GAME!
Just burn the Audi. It’s fine!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
A STRANGE GAME. THE ONLY WINNING MOVE IS NOT TO PLAY.
There has to be a Kobayashi Maru/Captain Kirk solution…
War Games?
Correct.
The guy who did “War Games” also did “Blue Thunder” around the same time. He may or may not have had some issues with the government.
(And this was the same director who did…wait for it…”Saturday Night Fever.”)
In ’91
Buy: BMW (I’d actually even get the manual here)
Drive: Mercedes
Burn: Audi
In ’19
Buy: Mercedes
Drive: BMW (I guess I’ll keep the manual)
Burn: Audi
This no surprise me with your intense rear-drive preferences.
There is truly a level of refinement and class which emanates from all of these the current examples are truly lacking.
I’ll disagree with you here, 28 – I find the new S-class and A8 to be quite tasteful. I know Caddy isn’t popular around here, but a metallic black CT6 is a pretty dignified looking ride as well.
The grill on that revised 7-series, though, is a damn disgrace.
I look at them and I just don’t think any of them are so special, moreso by design are not economically viable to repair and will likely fail midlife.
Example:
autotrader.com/car-news/cars-carbon-ceramic-brakes-are-going-be-used-car-p-267318
Unmentioned in that article is that you can still go through a set of carbon-ceramic brakes in real time at the track.
Right, 28, but do the cars we’re talking about have ceramic brakes? I’d imagine the AMG-type versions do, but what about the standard models?
The US didn’t get any W126 500SELs through MBNA. At the end, we had the 420SEL, the 350SDL, and the 560SEL. The 560SEL had a 5.5 liter V8 of 238 hp in US trim.
Buy Mercedes, Drive BMW, Burn Audi.
Mercedes’ market differentiation is confusing. I fixed that part.
>>> The US didn’t get any W126 500SELs through MBNA. <<<
The US had some 500 SELs. I've even seen 2 on the road (that I can remember). I think they were 1985 model year. Were they brought in through a different source?
Yes. They were grey market imports rather than cars brought in by Mercedes-Benz of North America. Mercedes-Benz actually bought some politicians to put a stop to independent imports.
IIRC It was Benz and BMW, which ended up hurting Euro and J-import fans for a while. Only recently can one really overpay to indulge in their Gran Turismo fantasies.
Buy the Benz.
Drive the Beemer.
Burn the Audi while shedding a single, sorrowful tear, because I’m quite partial to Audis in spite of their….tendencies.
Buy the BMW
Drive the Merc
Burn the Audi
Same first name, same last initial, same choices.
Buy Benz.
Drive Bimmer.
Burn the Audi because right away something will break, requiring half the car to be disassembled to access for repair.
I’ve actually played this game and own a 1992 735iL with 90k miles on it.
With the M30 engine these cars are reasonably affordable to own, if you’re willing to do a bit of wrenching.
Some bits need replacement every now and then simply due to age. Some parts are NLA (exterior and interior trim etc) but most of what is needed to get the car running is widely available and not too expensive. What hurts the wallet are the big items like the driveshaft, exhaust, etc. But that’s also true of many non-luxury cars and trucks.
For someone who is stuck in the 90’s and doesn’t care for the latest tech they are great cars.
I had one and reliability was good. Every other BMW I’ve had since was crap.
I may be biased because my father owned a 1992 Audi V8 (with the 4.2) and the car was an absolute sweetheart to drive, with an engine sound like a NASCAR car two miles away. Surprisingly reliable, too, in his often neglectful hands.
In 1991:
Buy the Audi for the engine noise
Drive the BMW because elephants can dance!
Burn the obsolete Benz
Today:
Buy the Benz because it’s actually serviceable
Drive the Audi for the engine noise
Burn the BMW because it will overheat anyway if you try to drive it
The only right answer is to burn them all.
Damn how much HP/Torque got sucked up by the Audi’s automatic?
Thinking of these cars in 2019 I’m reminded of a house I walked through last evening that was built around the same time. It was cheap because the only way to buy it was with a renovation loan.
Like a 203K loan?
More or less.
A neighborhood where most of the houses were priced $225,000 to $300,000 this house was listed at $130,000. And probably needed a minimum $50K in work – the left half of the property was trying to obtain a separation from the right half of the property.
(And yes in Gallup NM a $225K to $300K neighborhood is the nicest part of town, you would hardly find anything over $500K in the whole county.)
Yep, that sounds like a pass to me. 203k loans aren’t necessarily bad deals, though.
Yeah were I live to get a Structural Engineer to travel to you is going to cost $1600.
If the seller’s motivated they could pay that, but since the two halves of the house aren’t on speaking terms, maybe not.
The BMW is the only one I would NOT be embarrassed to be seen in. The thought of someone seeing me in either of the other two makes me hyperventilate.
Therefore I have to say burn the other two. Drive and buy the bimmer.
Buy the Mercedes because reliability.
Drive the BMW because driving machine.
Burn the Audi (just) because.
One cool thing I like on my 735 is the way steering resistance increases with speed. So at low speeds the steering is very light and as you build more speed the steering becomes harder to turn. It makes highway cruising effortless because the steering stays in the center and requires almost no correction.
I wish they would have done something like that on my 2011 (E70) X5. Or maybe they did. But steering it into a parking spot or anywhere at low speed was laborious. Ditto for my current 2015 Grand Cherokee.
It sounds like you need to stop skippin arm day.
“My arms are YUUUUUGE!”
Another fun fact. On the early E32 7 series there was an extra motor to increase the pressure of the wiper arms at high speed. I don’t know why BMW abandoned it for the later model years. Maybe too much complexity for little benefit. I have the normal non-pressure wipers and they work just fine.
Buy the Benz,
Drive the Bimmer,
Burn the one that doesn’t start with a “B.”
500SELs were gray market cars imported by individuals.
420SEL and 560SELs were sold by MB USA.
In 1991, I would want the BMW because it was more of an ‘enthusiast’ car. But now I want the Benz, because it’s the last of the “engineered like no other car in the world” Benzes–and it was, and IS a great car, built like a tank, quiet, classy, ….I could go on
Buy: Benz-The W126 was a bit long in the tooth by 91 but still a classic design.
Drive: BMW- The well executed evolution from the E23.
Burn: Audi- Quattro was its only saving grace. The repairs are frequent and pricy. The only reliable part on it is the Cadillac HVAC digital control panel.
Okay, someone’s got to say it, might as well be me:
Burn the Benz.
Because the BMW is the single most beautiful thing they have ever made since the 1950s, and the Audi is historically relevant as their first step into the luxury car segment — and a pretty good car too, despite being a little on the delicate side. Both these things will be incredibly rare one day, on account of either destroying themselves (Audi) or being destroyed by heavy-footed, maintenance-absent last owners (BMW). W126s, on the other hand, will always be plentiful, so we can afford to burn one.
So which to buy? The Audi of course. At least it won’t rust :-) That leaves the BMW to be driven — well, I think one could do worse.
I paused for a long time on that first picture:
– That beltline (I can see!)
– That greenhouse (I can breathe!)
– Those luscious sidewalls (more like picture 3 here)
Heart rate slowing; lungs filling with sweet oxygen.
Now where were we:
– Buy Benz
– Drive BMW
– Burn Audi
Buy: Benz
Drive: BMW
Burn: Audi
I wonder if a dealer or Benz indie would still recommend a servicing of the airbag system every ten years? I thought that was spelled-out in the book.
Late to the party but like almost everyone I would buy the Benz, it was THE Benz after all
Drive the Audi, I live in the NE and Like the look
Burn the BMW no problem at all not my thing.
Back when BMWs were the most attractive vehicles on the road, in my opinion anyway.
Buy the BMW
Drive the Benz
Burn the Audi
At least then I could say I’ve owned and driven German steel.
I’d buy the Benz
Drive the BMW (with manual)
Burn the Audi.
I too grew up riding in an ‘86 420SEL, which my folks owned from 88 to 96. It was as solid when traded with 144k miles on it as when new, and the 96 E class that replaced it was flimsy in comparison. We cross shopped a 735iL as I remember (but hey, I was 6).
BMW = Burn My Wallet
Burn the Mercedes with Benzine
Incinerate the Audi.
Buy the Benz, it’ll make a decent demo derby novelty once something expensive breaks in a month. Keep the grille though, to show Mercedes how to style something that doesnt look like a Nissan.
Drive the Audi for the engine noise and better went handling. Keep a photo to recall when Audis didnt look like Hyundais.
Burn My Wallet, or enter it into LeMons for a few laps.
Drive the BMW
Buy the Benz
Burn the Audi
I love that generation 7 series and would drive a manual today
Dad got to play two-thirds of this game back in 2000. That’s the year someone rear ended his 1982 Volvo 240 GLT, and his 1990 740 GL (another Swede, not the Bavarian one) was getting on in its years (but barely). He test drove an early 90s 7 series and loved it, but bought an 86 420 SEL on anticipation of worry-free ownership. Once the Benz was parked on his driveway, the younger Swede became the beater. At the time, you’d have to be crazy to consider a 10 year old Audi. The Benz definitely had presence, I can’t imagine a Roller of similar vintage would give you that much more quality and luxury for the money. I’d play it the same way he did.
Buy: Benz, one of the greatest ever made.
Drive: BMW… I don’t feel like I’m really driving unless there’s a third pedal.
Burn: Audi, they hadn’t reached their peak yet.
Buy: Benz
Drive: BMW
Burn: Audi
I’ve never owned any of these but I’ve had an E34 (1990 535i/5) and a W124 (1994 E420). The W124 was smoother, better built, more comfortable and more powerful but the E34 was more fun in the twisties and vastly easier to work on. Neither was what I would call particularly reliable but I owned them at 15+ years old and well over 150k miles. I now have an E39 (530i sport/manual) and it kind of is the best of both worlds.