There’s little doubt that BMW’s design language, at least since the dawn of the 21st century, reflects the prevailing culture of the day. In the 2000s, the brand’s Chris Bangle-penned cars hosted all the eye glitter and booty action a viewer could handle, perfect for an era in which My Humps became an unlikely top hit.
Fast-forward a decade, and the designs of Bangle’s protege, Adrian van Hooydonk, are a perfect representation of today’s social media-led outrage culture. Big, gaping mouths screaming into a void filled with other, equally prominent mouths. We’re in the age of the big mouth, drowning in the polarization that rises in its wake, but van Hooydonk has no intention of reeling in Bimmer’s ever-expanding grilles anytime soon.
Speaking to Autocar, van Hooydonk addressed the brand’s design direction — a path most recently illustrated by Bimmer’s hungry-looking Concept 4 Series Coupe (seen above and below, cloaked in red). Like the recently refreshed 7 Series sedan and new X7 crossover, it too boats kidneys so swollen, bystanders might reach for their phones to call 911.
The brand’s design boss seemed to say that it’s better to be talked about in unpleasant terms by a subset of pissed-off superfans than it is to not be talked about at all.
“I’m not a psychologist but I know BMW is a brand that not only has customers, it has fans. They know our entire design history and have strong opinions on that,” van Hooydonk said on the sidelines of the Frankfurt Motor Show. “I don’t think that’s a bad thing, it means we have really connected with these people on an emotional level. Okay, I know that there might be some discussion with fans because they’ve grown to love what you’ve just done and you’re changing it already.”
It was at Frankfurt that BMW hinted at the next 4 Series with a slinky coupe bearing an oversized version of the brand’s trademark kidney grille. Like other recent Bimmers, this concept’s frontal openings have grown morbidly obese, reaching for the floor and the sky all at once. Love it or hate it, it’s something to notice.
“As a company, you have to keep moving,” he continued. “The minute you start standing still, you become an easy target. The market is very competitive now, more than ever. But the hardest thing to do is make changes while you are successful. If you are no longer successful, people will immediately start saying you need to make changes, but then you are in panic mode.”
Few design features are as noticeable as a car’s grille, and as BMW moves towards simpler, more expressive designs, you can expect the grille to do more of the visual heavy lifting. Of course, you’ll eventually reach a point where you’ve used up all remaining real estate (as seen with Toyota’s latest Avalon). The Lexus brand, also a fan of gaping maws, is probably working on a spindle replacement, having taken the design probably as far as it can.
Already fused in the middle and growing in width and height, BMW’s signature kidneys can only go so far before they either stop being an instantly recognizable brand element, or simply run out of room.
[Images: BMW Group, Chris Tonn/TTAC]
Late to the game and bloomin’ ugly. It’s not that far down the road when the grille-less style will take over and these things will look even more dated.
BMW was early to the ugly game with their grill. My least favorite thing about Pontiac was that they had a similar grill design to BMW.
BMW is just taking fugly to a whole new level. Makes even Toyota / Lexus grills look good.
Oh yeah…a front plate is really going to look good in that horror-filled maw of that 4-series. /s
One can only hope that the next generation of cars turned back the clock a little bit because this latest design trend…there are some nice looking cars out there, but the majority…just overstyled. And a bass-mouth grille doesn’t make you expressive. No. The word can be “gaudy.”
Just like the Acura TL with the schnoz that went into the hood!
Too much!
Of course, I wouldn’t take one of these wallet-draining POSes if you gave it to me!
How far they’ve fallen!
I’ve seen a few of the new 7-Series on the road and the front end’s huge grille is jarring. I’d put it right up with the Acura TL beak and Mazda3 super-smile for most terrible modern designs.
What’s weird is that the 3-Series and Z4 are brand new and don’t have huge grilles, so maybe BMW is moving away from a brand-specific design.
grill designed by the guy who did Freddy’s nails on A Nightmare on Elm Street
And here I thought my RX350s front was fugly!
And yet you bought something that you thought the front end is “fugly”?
He’s not the one looking at it. You are.
Exactly! Otherwise, the car is great to drive.
I did too. I got an IS300 despite the hideous front end.
Is that my Buick? The kidneys merge into one and perform a perfect Buick impersonation.
Can’t wait until these turn gold and have a big diamond on one side.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Angry_Beavers
It’s all about the Chinese market. Today’s Chinese auto market is roughly analogous to the US market in 1958-59 or so…just past the super-chromed exuberance of 1957, but still very enthusiastic about a bright future. The Chinese want their bling, and nothing say SUCCESS in Mandarin louder than a big, toothy grille.
I was just in China. A number of cars had (what I think are aftermarket) chrome tail light trim that overlaid every seam between the red, amber, and clear lenses of a tail light assembly. If I could post photos here I would.
Too late. They soon will be in to a painful nasty surprise. Forget about success in Mandarin. Yes they successfully stole technology but that is not enough for achieving world domination.
And that language is……white people’s co-opting of hip-hop slang? And we’re going to glorify it now?
Who knew we needed Pontiac to keep BMW’s designers honest?
I don’t want our current time. The big problem with BMW’s stupid new grilles is that it’s supposed to be the nose, not the mouth.
Hydronephrosis
. . . . How does one perc a beemer?
You know what makes this even more crazy? My new 5 Series has big grills (but not as big as the future cars), and those grills have electrically controlled shutters that block air flow through them most of the time for aerodynamic reasons. So these giant grills are essentially mere peacock feathers with little functionality at all.
To riff off R. Henry’s comment above, I wish the Chinese had better taste.
Even the thin slotted grille pointy noses current generation Prius has grille shutter for the same reason.
“The emperor has controversial clothes.” (message softened for current era)
Haha. Or maybe,
“The Emperor Has New Clothes, And We Have Questions”
Congrats BMW, you’ve managed to come up with a front end design that’s even uglier than Bangle’s rear end designs.
So basically what you’re telling me is I have to become a killer cyborg and go back in time somehow to kill this man’s mother so he is never born and thus, I can have a front bumper again?
While there, please consider taking care of the 5 mph bumper thing (1979-1982) as well?
73-74 to 82, Tool Guy.
I was there unfortunately.
Good work on the 74 Maverick, Ford.
DweezilSFV,
Correct and thank you.
From curbsideclassic.com: “…the 5 mile bumper was implemented for MY 1974, and required that no damage to the car’s lights, safety equipment and engine in angled 5mph impacts. For MY 1979, the standards were raised further, to zero-damage. Controversially, the standards were lowered in 1982 to 2.5 mph…”
What’s even sillier about the huge BMW grilles is that they are mostly fake. The area that is actually open to airflow for cooling and induction is only a fraction of the size of the total “grille”.
Back pre-Bangle days, I always considered the clean beautiful understated lines of BMWs reflected a classy, tasteful, self confidence that aligned nicely with their superb engineering, roadability, and powertrain. That was quiet sophistication rather than this new adolescent “look at me!!” posing.
BMW, like Honda, have lost a good measure of their souls in their efforts to increase market share and enter the mainstream.
From Bangle butt to doofus grille.
“Fat-bottomed grilles, they make the rockin’ world go round.” – Adrian van Hooydonk*
*not really
“Never knew no good from bad” – Anonymous grille stylist
The current M4 has the soul of a refrigerator. But the refrigerator at least looks good.
Let us never forget that Audi started this giant grille nonsense when they blacked out the bumper between the upper and lower grille for the 2005 model year.
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/PTzpBe3gOY0/hqdefault.jpg
Yeah, but Audi pulled it off then and they are still pulling it off now. BMW is late to the game and their design is horrendous. That should be trying to set a new trend instead of horrible execution of an older trend.
Chis, had a LOL reading you article. New BMW grill reminds me AOC, don’t know why. Big mouth may be?
They’re starting to look like Edsels.
If only! The Edsel grilles look good compared to these.
Everything looks good compared to these!
Agree with Vulpine especially if most vehicles go electric then a grill has no function. Large grills will look as out of place as the large heavily chromed 1958 GM cars. I believe this will eventually happen with pickup trucks as well that the large grills will eventually go away and look dated. I would take a 58 Edsel grill any day over this BMW grill–what a mess.
My heart aches (and eyes bleed!) for the classic restraint of an elegant E39 or minimalist E30. As a huge fan of BMW (well, up until probably the mid 90s, save for the 1 and 2-series), the “Bucky the Beaver” front end is just so far removed from what I think of when it comes to BMW. Of course, today’s BMW buyer is (largely) not interested in the heritage and driver’s dynamics that made BMW what it is. Most tend to value the lease rate and bling factor. Sad. Makes me appreciate my understated VW even more…
First BMW looses their driving cred by making more mainstream sedans instead of drivers cars, and then they do this. At least the Bangle butt cars were drivers still.
Now they have average driving cars that are horribly styled.
IIRC, Chrysler 300s from way back had some big grills too.
There is a certain type of internet BMW aficionado that responded to people who abandoned BMW when they stopped making driver-focused cars by saying that BMWs were better than Acuras because they were RWD. Good luck finding a RWD BMW on a dealer lot today. Then they said they were RWD-derived. Some of their high volume products are no more RWD-derived than a Chevy Cavalier now. Then they said Lexuses were ugly. It is to laugh.
Giant ugly grills: The Fender Skirts/Vinyl Roofs/Opera Windows/Turbo Badging of our era.
Nailed it.
Don’t forget wire wheel hubcaps
Add curb feelers and gold plastic Limited name plates along the fender skirts, opera windows, landau roofs, turbo badges, and wire wheels covers with spinners.
Jeff, you just described dream machine from my childhood.
I look at those vile grilles and what springs to mind is “What’s Up, Doc?”