Every race must have a winner—even if it’s a Seniors Olympics, where competitors battle with oxygen tanks in tow. In this case, it’s Yank tanks: our American large luxury car shootout. Those of you with a knack for the process of elimination will already know that the Cadillac DTS is our winner. On the face of it, the Caddy doesn’t have the power or charisma of the Chrysler 300c, nor the traditional rear wheel-drive layout of Lincoln’s boxframed Town Car. But the DTS brings a much-needed karmic balance to our comparo. It’s he only car that approaches luxury. In other words, it offers at least a week’s worth of livability for an actual owner.

Three’s a crowd: an odd grouping where someone or something is always going to stick out. Think Holy Ghost. The third wheel. The Sesame Street “which one of these is not the same as the others” object. In our Yank Tank match-up, the Lincoln Town Car fell by the wayside, pilloried for its utter lack of anythingness. Which is also, strangely enough, it’s strength. We’ll get to the Cadillac DTS tomorrow. But as some of our Best and Brightest have already pointed out, the Chrysler 300C is the one that doesn’t fit.

Top Gear fans know that Europeans treat large American cars with contempt. Although they love our finned Cadillacs and suicide door Lincolns, they view modern “Yank tanks” as large, thirsty, ill-mannered dinosaurs that only escaped extinction thanks to government-sponsored petrochemical profligacy and car buyers’ lack of environmental awareness, taste and brains. With American car companies struggling for survival, with entire U.S. car brands disappearing, this criticism begs a question: has the Yank Tank finally met its comeuppance? Price aside, can America produce anything to compete with BMW’s mid-sizers (never mind their luxury flagships)? To answer this burning question, I tested a trio of America’s finest luxury cars for a week each; the Cadillac DTS, Lincoln Town Car and Chrysler 300c. First, the standard to which these cars should aspire.

Ford seems to be the only part of the big 3/2.5/1.8 that’s embracing technology as a way to win customers. Their SYNC system got massive airplay in the Blue Oval’s ads. Down at the dealer level, FoMoCo’s been pushing SYNC like crazy. Strange, then, that I’ve noticed a distinct lack of reviews on the SYNC. So I hopped into a Ford Fusion for a week to answer a simple question: it is any good?

In an odd interview in automotorsport, Lars Hägerborg of Saab Sweden claims they now have concrete facts about a new owner. As we all expected this really doesn’t mean the end of Opels re-badged as Saabs (not to mention Chevy SUVs) as Lars says GM’s mind-NSFW game, er, cooperation will last at least another five years. Supposedly GM Powertrain Sweden will continue to share parts and tech with the other GM divisions but will keep “the best bits to themselves.” Judging by the turbo I4s that Saab has been cranking out lately, I’d say they can keep whatever they have and nobody will mind. Next in the process is lining up some government bailout funds to (as Lars says) “[be] a loan that allows us to move forward.” Lars also whined that the automotive press is too harsh on Saab for their abject failures and that we should instead focus on the future and their new [vaporware] models which are yet again later than expected. The new models of course being the Opel in a Saab suit 9-5 and the “Chevy in a Saab suit” 9-4. Good luck Saab, you’re gonna need it.

It figures these renderings of the new British wagon would come from Auto Motor Sport in Sweden, a country fully in love with big wagons. OK, so the last Jaguar wagon, er, estate wasn’t exactly the height of success. Our own RF ripped the British brand a new one for building the X-Type Estate. But perhaps a larger version might do well—especially if the rumor mill is correct and those crazy Indians/Brits have jammed Jag’s in-house 510 hp supercharged V8 under the hood. We should see the Jag estate [Ed. I christen thee “Jagon”] as a completed car at Geneva by that most blessed of automotive dates: 2010. In the mean time, wagon lovers can savor whatever dreams wagon lovers dream.

Looks like fifty cars per day is all that is needed from the Trollhätten plant to satisfy world demand. Yes, you heard that right: fifty cars per day, two days per week. With Saab apparently refocusing their production target to 12,000-13,000 cars for 2009, they’re cutting back their already slow schedule of three production days per week to two in some sort of effort to say “hey, we’re not dead yet.” Meanwhile the separate (desperate) search for a buyer for the company continues with Deutsche Bank handling the deal. They’d better act fast: Teknikens Värld says Saab’s piggy bank will be totally empty this summer. So if you’re one of those fifty people that want this Swedish meatball, act fast before they are all försvunnen.

Station wagons, or “estates” as they are known across the pond, occupy that strange place in the auto market between SUVs, minivans and sedans. On the surface, wagons promise the holy grail of cargo schlepping and fuel sipping. But they’re not as sexy as a sedan, not as practical as a modern crossover and they can’t haul as much crap as a minivan. In the new world “station wagon” brings up PTSD style flashbacks of 1970s Country Squire wagons with a roof-rack and eight kids in the back on the way to summer camp, 8-track blazing, and your dad at the helm wishing he had a terrier and a 240Z instead. Thankfully, this is not your dad’s Oldsmobile Customer Cruiser. For this comparo we’ve selected the BMW 535xi Wagon, Mercedes E350 Wagon, Volvo XC70 T6 and the Volkswagen Passat 2.0T Wagon.

Up till now nobody knew Madza was competing with VW/Audi for the “largest grille” award. For those that don’t believe us, take a gander  at the schnoz on the new Mazda 3. Mazda reps assure us this mug is the future of the entire brand (God helps us). Despite the fact that the Mazda 3 looks set to devour smaller cars and motorcyclists on the road it does at least promise more Zoom-Zoom with Ford’s corporate 2.5L I4 engine good for 167HP or the time honoured 2.0L I4 good for 148HP. Sadly Ford’s corporate 6 speed tranny isn’t along for the ride, nor are any of the Volvo P1 turbo engines (the 3’s platform mate across the pond) or Ford’s SYNC. Premium features on this new whip include Xenon headlamps, keyless ignition and the requisite bluetooth and iPod integration. The only question: can the features make up for the wacky front end grin and Mistubishi-grade interior? Mazdaspeed 3 anyone?

Speaking of the new Lexus RX350, the Audi Q5 has made its North American debut at the LA Auto Show. This cute ute was used by Audi execs to poke fun at the hybrid and electric car pushers (they’re look at you Carlos Goshn). With a nearly unique interior, the Q5 is sure to please new car shoppers who want a perfect interior and the ability to trundle down a manicured dirt road in style while feeling a bit better that they are not in a full-size off roader. With Q7 sales somewhere slightly north of non-existent, Audi dealers will surely welcome a down-sized, less-priced variant. Now that Porsche has gobbled up the Volkswagen Group (of which Ingolstadt is a part), will we see a pint-sized Porsche Cayenne version? How about a Lambo variant? The brand boggles.

Lexus took their mantra of being “wildly inoffensive” down new [soft] roads at the LA Auto Show. The new RX350 and 450h now both use the 3.5-liter V6 from the Lexus family. The RX350 churns out 275hp while the Atkinson cycle powered hybrid setup powers up 295hp combined. With electric all-wheel-drive, all five passengers will enjoy the flat floor and electronic wizzardry. Outside, not much is new. On the inside, a new jumbo-sized nav/car controller operates similarly to the pointer stick you find on some laptops, which is just as annoying. Carrying on Lexus’ latest trend in interiors, the RX’ seems to take a bit too much from the Camry’s design studio.

The entire argument for choosing the MINI Clubman over the regular MINI: the MINI’s too mini. Compared to the classic MINI, the Clubman is 10 inches and 140lbs. more car. It’s like a breakfast cereal advert: “Five percent more MINI!” Of course, that misses the entire point of the cute subcompact, doesn’t it? And if it doesn’t, is that a problem? Yes.

In an interview with Teknikens Värld, Volvo CEO Fredrik Arp revealed that he expected Volvo USA will continue to lose customers. Arp reckons you can figure another 10 percent of their business will head for the hills. That's in addition to May's 25 percent drop. The spin: Volvo's sales in North America are not profitable simply because of the weak dollar– implying (somehow) that good sales are bad, er, bad sales are good. Hang on; does that mean Volvo is losing money on [what remains] of its U.S. sales? Either way, it seems the developer of the three point seatbelt will be moving to a former Ford plant in the USA. Mercedes is doing it, BMW is doing it, the birds and the bees are doing it, so why not a profitable North American plant for Volvo? Of course, if they're preparing to sell the brand, maybe someone at the top reckons its best to cut bait and fish. Does the fact that Volvo isn't on the Ford media site's photo finder drop down menu (separate link) tell you anything?

Volvo has announced [via Autocar] UK pricing for their new XC60. The cute ute's expected to go on sale in October for £24,750 (base), or about £5k less than BMW's X3. If we take a look at similar Volvo model pricing in The Land of Hope and Glory, the XC60 slots-in at around the same price as the V70 or XC70 ($32,465 / $36,775 in the USA). True Brits will get the same gasoline/petrol engine as the Yanks: Volvo's smooth and torquey turbo inline six, good for 281hp. Sadly for New England's college professors, the 182hp D5 diesel is unlikely to make it across the pond. Billed as the "safest Volvo ever," the XC90s baby brother will arrive with more [electronic] nannies than Angelina Jolie. Whether it can rescue the brand's falling US SUV sales is a whole 'nother matter…

With the rest of the automotive world downsizing vehicles in the name of high world oil prices, Volvo has decided that the path to salvation for the Swedish American brand is… building their biggest wagon yet. This plan may not actually be as insane as it sounds. Volvo is promising something more along the lines of a wagonish crossover vehicle of some sort (think mini-van/wagon blend) seating five or seven with a selection of five or six cylinder inline gas of diesel engines, a turbo inline six and the Yamaha V8 seeing duty under many Swedish hoods on this side of the pond. FWD will be standard with AWD on the options list. Expect size somewhere between a BMW 5 and 7-Series and expect the Mercedes R class to be the conceptual model for the V100's market. Priced no doubt between Chrysler's most expensive minivans and the overpriced minivan crossover from the Germans, there might be a future for those recovering from a full size SUV's fuel appetite.