Nante hazukashi! (How embarrassing!) Japanese car manufacturers show very bad manners and use red ink in their books.

Fuji Heavy, makers of Subaru, posted its first net loss in 15 years in the fiscal year ended March, the Nikkei [sub] says. Resposible? The usual suspects: Sluggish consumption, tighter conditions, a drop in vehicle sales in all major markets, and the yen’s rise.

Fuji Heavy posted a net loss of ¥69.93 billion in the fiscal year ended March 31, sharply down from a net profit of ¥18.48 billion a year earlier. Says the Nikkei: “For this fiscal year, Fuji Heavy, in which Toyota Motor Corp. owns a 16 percent stake, projects a net loss of ¥55 billion, operating loss of ¥35 billion and sales of ¥1.320 trillion, with auto demand likely to remain stagnant and the yen strong.”

In German politics or the corporate world, the secret weapon to destroy any progress is the feared “12 point program.” Any similarities to a 12-step program of substance abusers are purely coincidental. Since there is no way that all 12 points will ever be met, the project languishes and dies on its own with nobody having killed it.

The German government has increased the mega-tonnage of its secret weapon and presented Fiat’s Marchionne with a 14-point program as he visited Berlin on Monday to meet government and union officials. His intent: Secure political (and financial) backing by the end of this month for a dream. Marchionne wants to combine Fiat, Chrysler and Opel/Vauxhall to a car group that cranks out more than 7 million units a year and has combined revenues in excess of $100 billion. Second to Toyota. Bigger than Volkswagen. (That should make the plan popular in Germany.) Not so fast:
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Let’s see what comments this one gets: Seven Japanese companies have applied for the US government’s relief program for auto parts and materials suppliers of GM and Chrysler, the Nikkei [sub] says.

The program earmarked $5 billion in public funds to make suppliers whole who are owed money by the two artists.
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Nikkei [sub] brings the cheery weekend news that Japanese new car sales are at their lowest level in the last 41 years of recorded history. Nipponese bought only 284,035 units in April, a drop of 23 percent on the year. Last month, the Japanese government launched tax breaks for fuel-efficient cars, but they kept consumers unimpressed and clutched to their wallets. Even sales of minivehicles, which had been strong for a while, got more diminutive. The Japan Mini Vehicles Association says they sold 117,670 units, down 13.4 percent. Demand for midgetmobiles has suffered double-digit contractions for two straight months, dwindling to an 11-year low. Scratch that as a savior. Got the stomach for details?

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Now that the no-money Fiatsco is (sort of) done and in the hands of the courts and armies of lawyers (what a reassuring thought), Fiat is fixing the sights of its lupara [see pic above] on another target that carries the ripe fruit of billions of government money: Opel.

“Now we have to concentrate on Opel,” Sergio Marchionne said in an interview with La Stampa. “They are our ideal partners.” (Reassuring thought #2: Chrysler must then be less than ideal . . . .) Reuters reports that “Marchionne coughed throughout the interview and admitted to being tired after months of talks leading up to the Chrysler deal,” giving rise to suspicion that Marchionne had contracted swine flu—an inherent risk when rolling with the pigs. Or it could be something worse than what a dose of Tamiflu could heal:

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Meanwhile, in Europe, Chrysler gets a yawn, but all eyes are on Opel. Who, when, with whom? Fiat’s entreaties received a loud “NEIN!” from all colors of the German spectrum. The current darling appears to be Magna: Closer to home, Austrian, just like Porsche, not Chinese, politically well-connected.

The Austrian-Canadian car parts maker and contract manufacturer Magna has presented a “rough outline of a rival offer to seize control of General Motors’ Opel unit ahead of Italy’s Fiat” to German Economy Minister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg, Reuters reports. Fiat and Magna had a sit-down with the Minister. After the meeting, Guttenberg said Magna’s concept was “interesting.” He then pulled out a broken record and announced that the German government needs more facts and figures from GM. They’ve been saying this for months, and apparently feel ignored. Guttenberg said this wait “is tiring.” Further in the rope-a-dope dept., the US government also owes Germany some facts and figures. Once in hand, Guttenberg would then be ready “to think about loan guarantees.”

Ever the politician, Guttenberg said the concepts from Magna and Fiat were very different from each other, but were the most substantial plans he had seen so far from potential investors.
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China’s Geely denied “its new top-of-the-line car was a copy of a Rolls-Royce, but the world renowned luxury brand said it was keeping its options open about taking legal action,” reports Gasgoo. At the Shanghai Auto Show, Geely showed their Geely GE—an abomination on wheels that looks like a spitting image of a holdover from the stone age, the Rolls Royce Phantom. The story is the talk of blogoville, so we spare you the gory details. Depending on who does the writing and their proficiency in fractional math, the price of the Phantom-twin is either “one sixth lower than” or “one sixth of” the original. Discount Rollers—most likely a reaction to Farago’s article on class warfare.

While “we-are-reviewing-all-our-options” BMW (owner of Roller) is talking to their lawyers, Geely is talking to the press. But not in a smart way.

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Ah, the suspense of a spaghetti western: Chrysler Vice Chairman Jim Press and sales chief Steve Landry told U.S. dealers on a conference call to hold their breath until they turn blue because “the automaker expected talks aimed at clinching an alliance with Italy’s Fiat to run all the way to an April 30 government-imposed deadline,” says Reuters.

In the meantime, Fiat’s bid for Opel is running into a phalanx of counter-fire and looks deader by the minute. According to Das Autohaus, the powerful metal workers union is “strictly against” Fiat. Also the Opel dealers are not enthused: “We want a strong partner for Opel, and that’s not Fiat” said Thomas Bieling of the Opel Dealer Council. Opel Supervisory board member Schild has compared Opel and Fiat to “two sick parents” who would not create a viable ensemble.

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Until a few weeks ago, Porsche’s Wiedeking and his CFO, Holger Härter, were feted as the masters of the universe and Jesus Christ rolled into two. After pulling off the impossible feat of showing more profits than sales twice in a row, the two were said to be able of walking on water while turning it in to wine. Now, they are busy updating their résumés. Or maybe even their last wills.

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And the deals, they keep on coming. Bloomberg reports that the Porsche and Piech families “plan to sell their main car assets to Volkswagen AG under a plan that would tighten Porsche SE’s grip on Europe’s biggest automaker.” Hold it right there: Haven’t they just BOUGHT Volkswagen? Are we confused yet? This is how it works:

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Fiat wants to get its hands on Opel, and the Opel workers don’t like it at all. Opel workers council chief Klaus Franz confirmed today that Fiat is in intensive negotiations to take over Opel. A memorandum of understanding may be signed as early as this coming Tuesday, reports Automobilwoche [sub]. Franz is very much against it:
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You thought you’ve heard it all? Now hear this: “The private equity firm Cerberus plans an engagement in a possible new European Opel concern,” the Düsseldorf, Germany, newspaper Rheinische Post writes, citing unnamed German government sources. If true, doesn’t Cerberus know how to say “uncle?” If not true, isn’t crack illegal, even in laissez-smoke Germany? According to the newspaper’s deep throats, the hellhound is interested in a chow-down of 25 percent of an independent Opel. Fiat would be part of the party, last week’s denials notwithstanding. According to the Rheinische Post, the prospective gang bang has been organized by Roland Berger. Roland Berger, the German consulting company, is in the employ of GM Europe. Roland Berger, the owner, has been hired by the German government to advise them in sticky Opel matters. He’s also on the Board of Directors of Fiat, says Der Spiegel. Conflict of interest? Never heard of it.

Daimler’s Zetsche won’t have to worry explaining the T&E for his trip to the Shanghai Motor Show. He might come back with a big chunk of Chinese money. According to the German Handelsblatt, “Daimler is negotiating with the Chinese sovereign wealth fund about selling shares and doesn’t rule out a Chinese engagement in Stuttgart.” Zetsche put on his best poker face: “We have had talks in the past  with possible investors in China, and the talks are still on-going.” Looks like there is more to it: On Tuesday, Zetsche will travel to Beijing to meet with representatives of the Chinese government. Asked whether he would also meet representatives of the Chinese government fund CIC, Zetsche gave a definitive “no comment.” If they buy, China will be in good company:

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Got $652m in loose cash sitting around? Boy, does GM have a deal for you! If you are willing to invest that money into Opel/Vauxhall, then The General “is prepared to part with a controlling stake in Opel/Vauxhall for nothing,” Financial Times reports. It gets better . . .

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There are growing indications that GM’s “surgical bankruptcy” is imminent. They are already scrubbing down the surgical theaters around the world. The operation may just happen within a few weeks, and the “good brands”/”bad brands” not-so-final solution will create another mushrooming government agency that would be loath to put itself out of business. One of the many indications for rapid action: The patents tug-of-war between Opel and General Motors (or rather between the German and U.S. governments) appears to be solved.