The global bailout arms race (comprehensively documented by our John Horner) has finally come to the attention of the World Trade Organization. And as the orgy of national subsidies, loans, stimulus, clunker-culling and assorted industry handouts roars along unabated, old mother WTO is making feeble threats about the dire, dire consequences. “Nothing can be said for the time being about the likely trade impact of these measures, many of which are still lacking publicly announced details,” WTO Director-General Pascal Lamy tells Reuters. “It must be recognised that some of the measures at least, which in most cases constitute some form of state aid or subsidy, may eventually have negative spill-over effects on other markets or introduce distortions to competition between financial institutions.” And in one epic equivocation, Lamy ensured that the WTO would not be the stout bastion of free trade principle in the face of an “economic stimulus” epidemic. Which means John’s list is going to keep getting longer, as the race to the bottom is replaced by a race to re-capitalize national auto industries. The only way that this trend won’t end in trade wars is if there’s no moral high ground to go around. The WTO can’t do much of anything to prevent the convulsions of bailout mania, but a few grown-up words of warning and history would have been nice.

Hey, someone from Jaguar talked to the press about the firm’s forthcoming sportscar and let them use their name! Jag’s Julian Rendell tells Autoweek that an “affordable, front-engine sportscar” is likely to be approved by management. No kids, it won’t be an R8-caliber supercar, but rather a long-awaited F-Type. Only it will be called the XE. Which sounds like a trim level on some D-segment commuter car.

Automotive News [sub] reports that Fiat CEO Sergio Marchionne is angling for a special Italian-edition auto bailout, echoing a FIM-CISL union official who earlier argued that 60k Italian auto jobs are “at risk.” The playbook should sound familiar. “We expect help from the government for the entire car sector,” Marchionne said. “It’s not about helping Fiat but restarting an entire sector and the whole economy.” This coming from a firm which will likely take a 35 percent stake in Chrysler… if the US government comes through with enough bailout funds to make it worthwhile. Not that double-dipping is in any way unheard of, as bailout mania hits the global automakers. Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi has already met with EU Industry Commish Gunter Verheugen in Turin, Fiat’s hometown. Verheugen had earlier warned that not all European automakers may survive the current auto sector crisis.

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AutoNation’s Mike Jackson at World Congress

And yes, we’re talking about the CEO of Autonation, not the one-glove guy. Jackson’s keynote adress to “fellow survivers of 2008” at the Automotive News [sub] World Congress was TTAC-ish enough to be dubbed a “truth-serum” speech by AN’s David Sedgwick. Accompanied by the Laurel and Hardy influenced powerpoint presentation above, Jackson breaks down the great downturn of 2008 with wit and insight. He blames captive lenders like the “General Motors Rejection Corp,” and states that for 95 percent of the market, the price of gas determines the kind of vehicle they want. Check out the changes in captive lender approvals and the $10k swing in Prius residuals over the last year for some compelling evidence that he’s right. Listen to the whole speech below for a concise overview of the year that turned an industry on its head.

Nothing proves a heartwarming national saying wrong like driving a Skoda Octavia into a church.

GM Biofuels Communication Manager clearly doesn’t want go against his firm’s new emphasis on resurrecting the electric car. “When you think about it,” he writes at GM’s Fastlane blog, “the technology news at the auto show rarely has the same emphasis in back-to-back years any more than the Super Bowl features the same teams from one year to the next. GM has multiple approaches to advanced propulsion, including improved internal combustion engines, flex-fuel, hybrids, battery-electric, and hydrogen fuel cells. All have significant dedicated engineering resources, and the best stories – like the best football teams playing on Super Bowl Sunday – are told at the auto shows.” But a man can only feed on weak-wristed simile for so long. Sooner or later, GM’s resident biofuel booster has to wonder: “where is ethanol?” It’s dead, Mr Adler, hadn’t you heard? Price inversions? Refineries going under? The MSM figuring out what E85 does to your mileage? Sure, the huge federal and state subsidies have not yet been repealed,, and we’ll be singing the E85BOTD blues for at least another five years. But the days of GM spinning the stuff of tortilla riots into green PR gold are over. The great cellulosic ethanol hope is years away for GM’s Coskata partners, meanwhile electric cars have become The Big Thing Right Now. So thank you, Mr Adler, and condolences. We now know that the Volt will have a flex-fuel option, and that’s probably all the PR attention ethanol will get from GM for months. And on this point, The General has finally got it right.

Fiat CEO Sergio Marchionne has said that he is open to further consolidation talks with any interested firms. “A partnership with a European rival is vital,” says Emanuele Vizzini of Investitori SGR, who tells Bloomberg that PSA PeugeotCitroen or BMW are the “natural candidates.” Marchionne is staying mum, but he has aknowledged that many see a Fiat-Peugeot hook-up as a “marriage made in heaven.” For now, however, Marchionne and PSA are denying rumors of hookup talks to the Detroit News. But then, Marchionne has said that Fiat needs to approach its goals “softly and quietly.” So who knows? “The Chrysler deal does nothing to solve the overcapacity problem,” says Credit Suisse analyst David Arnold. An all-European deal could “offset spiraling costs and declining volumes with savings from joint procurement, capital expenditure and research and development,” argues Arnold.

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Former McLaren designer Jim Doyle has announced that his firm JJAD will build 500 of these all-electric P1-E sportscars by 2012. An electric sportscar that goes 200 miles on a plug-in charge! Where do they come up with these ideas?

Automotive News [sub] reports that J.D. Power is introducing a Vehicle Launch Index, aimed at providing OEMs with data and feedback on product launches. For a nominal (sliding scale) fee, JDP will follow launches for the first 12 months of a model’s life, measuring ad effectiveness, consumer response, dealer gross profits and incentive spending. “There will be 88 new and restyled model launches in 2009,” JDP VP for research Dave Sargent tells AN. “Some of them will succeed. Others won’t, and frankly should never have gotten approval to see the light of day.” And JDP’s role will be to boldly proclaim vehicle program flaws during and after launches, because “it’s hard for people inside the company, especially if they want to get ahead in their career, to derail a project by saying, ‘This plan is flawed.'” Because what fixes dysfunctional product development like a highly paid consultant offering post-mortem bon mots?

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And yes, as with TTAC’s Ten Worst, Detroit gets it between the eyes. From the Aveo (“if Fiesta is the iPhone of ‘minis, Aveo is a pair of polystyrene cups and a shoelace”) to the Sebring (“so bad, even the man at Hertz will wince apologetically as he hands you the keys”), to the Jeep Compass (“winner of the Not Going Down Fighting Award). But thanks to the wild diversity of the UK market, there’s plenty more to chuckle about. Asian oddities like the Ssangyong Rodius (“like the result of a genetic experiment by a blind, fingerless, sadistic scientist”) and the walking dead Nanjing/SAIC/MG F roadster (“it costs £16.5k. A last-gen TF can be had for £4k. Do they think we’re stupid?”). And weird Euro models like the 2CV tribute Citroen C3 Pluriel Charleston, the Mercedes CLC and the practical-to-the-point-of-horror Fiat Qubo. Bloated plutcratmobiles like the BMW X6 and Maybach Landaulet arelauded for representing rude hand gestures to “the environment, poor people and practicality.” Check out Top Gear’s Foreman blog for the full treatment, served up with trademark British acid wit. Meanwhile, the “iPhone of ‘minis” has won What Car?’s Car Of The Year award. The UK car buyers guide calls Ford’s Fiesta “the most complete small car we’ve ever tested.”

Engine: 2 liters, 4 cylinders, 138 hp,132 torques. Transmission: 4-speed auto. Weight: 4,950 lbs GVW, 3,000 kerb weight (est). Payload: 1,605 lbs, 4+ feet by 6+ feet cargo area. Mileage: 19 city, 24 highway. Body styles: 2, Van (no second row, side and rear glass optional) or Wagon (second row, side and rear glass standard). MSRP remains the independent variable.

The man who knows how to get something for nothing (Fiat’s Sergio Marchionne) has “absolutely no intention” of running Chrysler as part of the two firms’ automotive axis, reports Automotive News [sub]. Marchionne will fill one of Fiat’s three seats on Chrysler’s seven-seat board, as he attempts what he describes as the “mission impossible” of turning Chrysler around. But before the dramatic-but-overplayed theme music cues a Fiat-led revamping of the ailing automaker, Chrysler’s stakeholders will have to make meaningful concessions, including debt-for-equity swaps. But will Marchionne accompany ChryCo CEO Bob Nardelli for future rounds of bailout beggary? Of course not. After all, the Fiat deal confirms the suspicions of at least one US Senator, that injecting cash into Chrysler would simply invite a takeover. And sure enough, Automotive News [sub] reports that officials concede that giving U.S. taxpayer money to an automaker tied to an overseas-based company will raise red flags in DC. Chrysler spokesfolks insist that the Fiat deal is consistent with the “stipulations and obligations” of the U.S. Treasury Department loan, but then they wouldn’t be insisting if there weren’t some question, would they? As Farago reported earlier, the promise of more federal money is what got Fiat sniffing around in the first place. And now there’s trouble afoot.

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Autoexpress has been saying for some time that Jaguar’s rumored new sportscar will be more XJ220 than F-Type concept. Now, they say they are “lifting the lid” on an Audi R8-fighting sportscar that Jag still refuses to aknowledge. The highlights? A 500+ hp supercharged V8, Ian Callum styling (hinted at here in a rendering by beyond-form), light weight construction on an all-new aluminium platform, and a concept debut pegged at about 18 months from now. Bloody good, but does it mean they can’t build the F-Type too?