Ever since Cerberus bought Chrysler, they've said they're in it for "the long run" in spite of the private equity firm's reputation as a "strip and flip" operation. On the other hand, we've maintained they'll unload the moribund automaker ASAP, in spite of what the three-headed-dog keeps barking. Apparently Bloomberg agrees with us. In an article about Nardelli's draconian measures to make the company profitable, the news org declares "Cerberus, a private-equity firm, would like to make a profit by selling Chrysler within two or three years. That means turning the ailing automaker into a tightly managed operation that generates cash instead of burning it." What's not clear: if the "two or three years" begins now, or if it started at the time Cerberus took control last May. Either way, look for Chrysler's sale to open the door to the U.S. market for a Chinese or Indian automaker.

According to Wired, Toyota's set to show off the production version of their iQ microcar at next month's Geneva Auto Show. The iQ is as wide and tall as a Yaris and just a bit longer than a smart fortwo. Thanks to innovative design and packaging, the iQ seats four (at least in concept form). Toyota hasn't said what'll motivate their mighty mite, Given its diminutive size, look for a powerplant displacing a liter or less. If the styling stays true to the concept, ToMoCo will have no problem selling every IQ they can screw together. No word on whether they'll bring it to the States. But with gas prices continuing to climb and the smart money on the new smart, it's a good bet Toyota will try to raise America's IQ, or some such pun.

In his now-infamous RS4 review, Jonny Lieberman declared the uberAudi "sounds and feels like a volcano making love to an avalanche."  Never having witnessed that particular geologic phenomenon, I'll have to take his word for auditory aspects of the experience.  However, at least one filmmaker thinks it sounds like something from outer space, as this spot shows. Hmmm… I wonder how they'd use the sound of a Toyota Yaris at full throttle? You know; other than for pest control purposes.

Even though GM says they have customers lined-up waiting for Enclaves because demand far outstrips production capability, Gasgoo reports they're going to export them to China later this year. It looks like GM's figured out how to expand their production capacity by at least 5k Enclaves, because that's how many they plan to ship to the PRC to sell through their partnership with Shanghai Automotive Industry Corporation (SAIC). When the Lambda-platformed CUV goes on sale in China in October, it will join the Park Avenue, LaCrosse, Regal, Excelle and GL8 models in Buick's Chinese showrooms. Last year, Buick racked up over 332k sales in China, almost twice the units they moved in the U.S. Oh, and if I was on the U.S. waiting list for an Enclave, I'd have a royal conniption fit over this news. Just sayin'…

Canadian Auto Workers president Buzz Hargrove knows what's killing the North American auto industry: imports from South Korea and Japan. He's upset that Canada imports more vehicles from Asia and Europe than Canada ships to those areas. His solution? The Globe and Mail reports Buzz wants Canada and the U.S. to ban imports from Japan and South Korea until they open their markets to North-American-built vehicles. Reality to Buzz: they don't want your vehicles. If you've never been to those countries, roads are narrow, city streets are clogged and parking is at a premium. The average GM, Ford or Chrysler product from this side of the globe would fit in there like an orca in a fishbowl. Also, I don't know about Canadian sales, but the majority of Hondas, Toyotas, Nissans, and Mitusubishis sold in the U.S. are bolted together in North America, not imported. He needs to put the blame where it belongs: on the auto companies that sat by complacently resting on their laurels and denying the imports were a threat until they lost customers they'll never regain.

As if it really makes any difference to anyone at this point, The Detroit News
reports that the White House has expressed confidence in GM's long-term prospects. In response to GM's sobering $38.7b loss in 2007, spokeswoman and master of the obvious Dana Perino said "The report from GM reflects what we've known for a long time, which is that the automotive industry in the United States is having some difficulties, and they are trying to work through those. They're trying to restructure. They have a changing marketplace; buyers have different tastes, and there are issues regarding how high their cost of business is." In other word, oops they did it again! But GM needn't worry because "the president believes strongly, the long-term health of the U.S. automotive industry is strong." It'd be interesting to see what the lame duck Commander-in-Chief's handlers would have to say about the situation if he was running for reelection this year, instead of coasting until the moving vans arrive in January. 

GM really, really, really wants to get rid of all their high-paid UAW workers. In addition to the buyouts they're offering to all salaried UAW members, they're upping the ante by offering retirement incentives as well. The Detroit News reports GM will offer workers taking the bribe buyout the option of rolling the payouts into a 401(k) or retirement account. Exactly what they're offered depends on their seniority and job skills. Workers with 30 years or more will be offered $45 to $62.5K to retire with full pension and benefits. Workers with between 26 and 30 years can take leave with reduced pay until they reach 30 years (at which point they can take a regular retirement). Workers 50 years old or older and with at least 10 years with the company can retire early with whatever pension they've accumulated and health benefits. Any worker with 10 or more years is eligible for a one-time payment of $140k to walk out the door; for workers with less than 10 years it's $70k. GM isn't saying how many UAW members they want to eject, but UAW President Ron Gettelfinger thinks they're shooting to reduce their numbers by about 20k. GM is expected to replace them with about 16k new hires, paying them about half of what their predecessors made. Some experts think GM hopes "to turn around its beleaguered North American division by the end of the decade… largely [by] moving out senior workers." And there I was thinking that improving their products was the key… 

SUVs are evil. Evil I tell you! They represent all that’s bad about America: greed, sloth, gluttony, selfishness, arrogance and environmental indifference. They gargle gas, warm the planet and knock poor little hybrids into next week. More importantly, SUVs cost a fortune to feed and depreciate like packet of condoms. So what’s an SUV-intensive manufacturer like GM to do? Why make an SUV that doesn’t do all that hard-core SUV stuff, spiffy-it-up a bit, and sell it to all the people who love SUVs but hate SUVs. Ladies and gentlemen, the GMC Acadia.

The Detroit News reports that Senator Clinton spent part of her pre-primary warm-up touring a plant in Maryland that builds transmissions for GM's full-size hybrid and heavy-duty trucks. The presidential candidate immediately began touting her plan to create five million "green-collar" jobs. To that end, the Senator from New York pledged to give $5b of your hard-earned money to automakers for battery research, and provide $20b in "green vehicle bonds" for automakers wishing to retool elderly factories (i.e. Ford, GM and Chrysler). Ms Clinton also promised $10k in tax credits for plug-in hybrid buyers. All of this in addition to the $8m the Washington Post says Ms. Clinton's secured for GM for "alternate fuel research;" $3m of which was buried in the fiscal 2008 Pentagon spending bill. Coincidentally enough, the Post also reports that GM lobbyist Steve Ricchetti is one of Hillary's fund raisers. Senator Clinton's campaign spokesperson said Ms. Clinton doesn't consider fundraising efforts when she's making official decisions. Apparently, "one thing has nothing to do with the other."

Sorry cubicle dwellers but the truth hurts. D Magazine reports that GM Car Czar Maximum Bob Lutz told a group of journalists that global warming is "a total crock of shit." When pressed on his enthusiasm for the Volt, Maximum Bob explained "I'm motivated more by the desire to replace imported oil than by the CO2 (argument)." Yes but– MB wasn't so keen on on other automotive technologies aimed at diminishing our demand for foreign petrochemicals. Even though GM is touting their big, honkin' hybrid SUVs and hybrid-lite cars and spending multi-millions on a hybrid research center in China, he thinks hybrids "make no economic sense." GM's Vice Chairman of Global Product Development also stated diesel cars have no place in a market where gas and diesel prices are comparable (i.e. in the U.S.). And just to show solidarity with GM dealers facing GM's sliding market share and the current economic downturn, Maximum Bob said "they've got to isolate themselves from the economic forecasts and say, 'I make my own prosperity.'" Sounds like TTAC's leading candidate for our soon-to-be-announced Bob Lutz award may have been sniffing too much JP-8 or whatever imported-oil-based petrochemical he burns in his jets.

If you think it's hard keeping up with the auto industry on a daily basis, you should try figuring out what the future holds. Just five years ago, no one would have predicted an aircraft executive would be running Ford, Chrysler'd still be selling Vipers (or Pacificas or much of anything) or GM would be embracing hybrids. So what's going to happen in the next five or ten years? It's hard to say. But since we've never been known to lack for an opinion on anything, here's a look at the future, TTAC-style.

And you thought the Lincoln ads were bad. The video clip is not a fake; it's actually an ad Chevy is running late at night on some cable channels.  I could make all kinds of comments here, but I'll leave that to you readers.  If anyone could explain to me what it has to do with selling a gas-electric hybrid car, I'd appreciate it.

According to Canada.com, GM spokesman Dee Allen says his employer can't re-engineer the forthcoming plug-in electric – gas Chevrolet Volt's windshield wipers, audio system and other parasitic electrical components in time for their hoped-for 2010 deadline. So they'll just install a work-around. The first-generation Volt will feature expensive "redundant" systems for these components in hopes they won't drain the batteries faster than the propulsion system. While Allen didn't specify how these redundant systems would work, he admitted they would drive the price of the Volt "higher than expected." But don't worry: GM's engineers are working diligently to solve the problem and "the second generation will be more refined." Given GM's bent for five to seven-year product cycles, the engineers should have plenty of time to solve the issue before the second generation comes out. But, still, you have to wonder… if they're cutting corners on the secondary systems to rush the Volt into production, what shortcuts are they taking in mission critical primary systems? 

GM is expected to announce greater-than-predicted fourth-quarter losses for their North American unit later today. While the exact figures aren't available yet, experts predict GM will report a loss of 64 cents a share, compared with earning 32 cents a share in the same quarter of 2006. Bloomberg cites "two people familiar with the [fourth quarter] results" who say the losses were due in large part to an upsurge in incentives in the fourth quarter as they tried to keep up with Toyota. Credit Suisse analyst Chris Ceraso concurs. "Higher incentive spending outweighed better than expected volume and mix" in GM's North American operation. They seemed to forget that Toyota had plenty cash on hand to fund the average $6.4k rebates on Tundras while they could ill-afford the average $6k they slapped on the hoods of their pickups to keep them moving. The exact damage to GM's bottom line will be announced later today. Watch this space.

UPDATE: Well, folks, it was far worse than anyone expected. MSNBC reports GM had the largest annual loss ever reported by an auto company: $38.7 billion; GM's previous record was $23.2b in 1992. In the fourth quarter alone, they lost $772m. Part of the loss was from their share of GMAC, which cost them $1.1b. GM also announced today they're following Ford's lead and offering buyouts to all 74k of their hourly UAW workers so they can replace them with lower-paid workers under the new contract.  

MSNBC reports that GM's placing its entire inventory of certified pre-owned (CPO) cars (from 3,900 dealers) on eBay. GM says its still working with eBay on developing the site. But don't expect any sort of direct, online transaction. If the eBay sub-site works along the same lines as Autotrader.com and Cars.com's versions, you'll have to contact the dealer through the website (which earns a referral fee). Will eBay offer any additional guarantees along the lines of the protections offered buyers of privately owned vehicles (e.g. free insurance and seller ratings)? Don't hold your breath…