The Detroit News reports that a "substantial signing bonus" could seal the deal on the new UAW contract with GM. The bribe bonus would be "something they could sell to members without making a long-term commitment that locks GM into something it can't afford down the road." The amount of the bonus hasn't been stipulated, but it's bound to be quite a chunk of change– especially piled on top of the billions GM will have to cough-up for the union-administered VEBA health care superfund that everyone but the retirees it'll cover seems to want. If the negotiating pattern follows past behavior, Ford and Chrysler will be expected to fork-out the same bribe pay out. Cerberus may be able to pull some cash for bonuses out of its deep pockets, but Ford isn't exactly flush. The UAW better finesse this one, lest they kill that proverbial goose.

Which carmaker has cleaned-up their act the most? Toyota with its Synergy Drive? Honda with its industry-high average fuel economy? GM with their fuel-cell Equinoxes? Nope. According to a study by Environmental Defense (reported by CARSguide), BMW wins the "most improved" award for its average fuel efficiency and CO2 emission rate. From 1995 to 2005, The Boyz from Bavaria increased their fleet's average fuel economy by 14 percent and carbon emissions by 12.3 percent. Toyota only managed a three percent drop in carbon emissions during the same period. Kia was the worst offender; their vehicle's carbon emissions jumped by 30 percent. Oxymoronically, GM placed at the top of one category with a 6.5 percent reduction in "overall carbon burden" (derived from factors based on vehicle emissions and the total sold), yet increased their overall carbon emissions by three percent. As Miss Piggy's paramour said, it ain't easy being green.

Screw past performance. The most important factor in choosing a stock is… where the company does business. So says Jens Ehrhardt, Porsche-driving manager of Dr. Jens Ehrhardt Kapital AG, Germany's top international stock fund. Bloomberg reports Ehrhardt won't buy stock in the German automaker because about a third of its sales come from "debt-ridden Americans." He dropped almost all of his holdings in BMW because about one fourth of its sales come from the U.S., and dumped over half of his stock in ThyssenKrupp AG because they're putting a $4.2b steel plant in Alabama. Gunther Westen, head of asset allocation at at WestLB Mellon Asset Management in Dusseldorf disagrees: "I've heard doomsday scenarios on the U.S. since I've been in this business. I don't believe them." So where does Ehrhardt put his money? German companies doing business in China.

Leave it to the Germans to try to quantify driving pleasure. Gizmag tells of a project underway at Mercedes Benz to analyze the emotions felt by people as they drive and interact with their cars. Using a computer that interprets facial expressions as emotional responses, they videotaped eight different drivers as they piloted a new C-Class and a 1983 190E through a number of test courses. Preliminary statements made by participants indicated they thought vehicle control and safety– which the C-Class has in spades over the 190E thanks to modern electronics– were the main factors contributing to driving pleasure. However, when they analyzed the videos, they found something different: some participants "enjoyed driving the older car, smiling when the rear end drifted slightly on tight bends of the handling course." Mercedes plans to use the data gained through this research not only to make their cars safer, but "also develop cars with a greater level of agility and dynamism to enhance driver enjoyment." They could start by killing firing all their lawyers, and then returning full control of their cars' various electronic systems to the driver.

The Detroit News reports that U.S. District Judge William K. Sessions III rejected automakers' attempt to keep Vermont and 10 other states from adopting California's stricter emission standards. Vermont's brief argued that the Mountain State needs the new standards to protect their maple syrup and skiing industries from the environmental impact of auto-related greenhouse gases. (No mention was made of the environmental impact of these two industries.) The automakers countered that meeting the standards would too costly, if not impossible. Sessions' ruling stated "The court remains unconvinced automakers cannot meet the challenge of Vermont and California's [greenhouse gas] regulations" because they "fail to demonstrate that the regulation is not feasible, given the flawed assumptions and overly conservative selection of technologies documented." Sierra Club lawyer David Bookbinder hailed the decision as a triumph over "another example of Detroit crying wolf." Incidentally, the court's decision was 240 pages long. One wonders how many trees were cut down to publish this ruling.

Speaking to the Detroit Free Press, Saturn brand manager Jill Lajdziak's threw down the gauntlet to Toyota (again), promising a "2009-ish" debut for a plug-in hybrid Vue. The new Vue's drivetrain will differ from the "mild hybrid" Vue currently on offer; it'll be based on the two-mode hybrid system debuting on the Tahoe. And guess what? She's [smack] talking lithium-ion batteries! The plug-in Vue will be limited to a 10-mile range in purely electric mode. In other news, Lajdziak hinted that Saturn may also offer some of the diesel engines found in the Rethink American brand's Opel doppelgängers. Referencing the engineering connection between the two brands, Lajdziak said "it's a natural for us to consider diesel." OK Toyota, time to talk about your Isuzu oil burners.

Take that Toyota! Not only is GM going to bring us a lithium-ion-powered plug-in hybrid by 2010, but they're going to produce an entire family of electric vehicles. So sayeth GM Car Czar "Maximum" Bob Lutz in Frankfurt. The Wall Street Journal (WSJ) described Lutz' remarks as "the latest salvo in a combined product-development and public-relations campaign… to dispel the image that it has its corporate head in the sand when it comes to advanced vehicle technology, oil prices and concerns about greenhouse-gas emissions." Lutz also said GM wants to build its E-Flex vehicles alongside mainstream models; a common chassis would accommodate either a conventional or alternative-propulsion powertrain. The WSJ cautions that the Volt– and any other electric vehicles in GM's future– depend on battery suppliers, and "it isn't yet certain the suppliers will come through." OK, Toyota– your turn!

In an article this past June, I looked at the disconnect between what some politicians say about automobiles, fuel mileage and the environment; and what they drive.   Exhibit A: presidential hopeful Barak Obama. Mr. Obama famously berated the Detroit Economic Club about Motown’s opposition to tighter fuel economy standards– with a Chrysler 300C stashed in his garage. The instant the media exposed this hypocrisy, Obama traded his Hemi-powered luxobarge for the PC pol’s pal: a Ford Escape Hybrid. That got me wondering what our other national leaders might have parked in their garages…

The gloves are off; GM's Vice Chairman Bob Lutz and Toyota's U.S. VP for Communications, Irv Miller, are having an alternative powerplant smackdown. On a company web site today, Miller wrote "the advanced lithium-ion batteries that the Volt would use, batteries suitable for the long-term rigors of everyday automotive use, don't exist" while pointing out the Prius uses "market-ready" technology. Lutz, never one to let facts come between him and his opinions, still insists the Volt will be ready for the market in 2010. He countered Miller's remarks in an interview with Bloomberg at the Frankfurt Auto Show: "People have a very simplistic [view]: Toyota … are saving the planet from certain destruction, whereas General Motors … is the anti-Christ that's trying to plunge us into the abyss. The only way we can get out of that is by being more environmental and leading with more environmental technology than Toyota." Uh, hello? Bob? It's hard to lead when you're relying on technology that doesn't exist yet– and that the competition has publicly stated they'll also adopt, you know, as soon as someone invents it.

What do you do if you're a politician heading to a news conference where you intend to tell citizens to leave their cars at home– and your staff car is a Lincoln Navigator? That was the dilemma facing Washington D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty. The Metro (subway) couldn't get him there on time. Riding his bicycle would make him sweaty. Taking one of the city's fleet hybrids would look too contrived. So Mayor Fenty did what shocked a lot of people: he took the bus, minus his security detail. Hizzhonor stated to the Washington Post, "You don't need a car to get around. That's what makes us different than the suburbs." After the conference, he took the subway back to his office. Then he hopped into his personal Ford Expedition to drive across town to a pair of meetings.

August's U.S. sales results are in. Upon their release, GM crowed about their market-bucking triumph– neglecting to mention the fact that 25 percent of those sales sailed with the fleets. Meanwhile, Chrysler blamed its sales decline on diminished fleet flogging. Ford was "encouraged by sales of their crossover vehicles" (i.e. stuck in the dog house). And Toyota pinned their sales drop on the subprime lending crisis and a supply-line interrupting Japanese earthquake. Whatever. Bottom line: August wasn't kind to many of the models we're tracking on your behalf.

Auto advertising seems to be aimed at one of two groups: baby boomers trying to recapture their youth or "Gen Y," the twenty-somethings Scion was shooting for– and missed. Honda has decided to split the difference and target Generation X to reinvigorate sales of their [new] Accord. Advertising Age [sub] reports Honda wants to lower the median age of Accord buyers from its current 54 to somewhere between 30 and 44-years. Only Gen X buyers aren't as "inspired" to own a Honda because they perceive the brand's current products to be too fuddy duddy. So Honda's largest ever ad spend on a single model will tempt Gen X buyers with ads embodying a more "emotional appeal." Whether Honda's PC patrol– which nixed the marketing department's idea to sell the Accord hybrid as a performance car– will loosen-up sufficiently to let the ad guys draw on Honda's Hooners and Tunerz heritage remains to be seen. 

An agreement between Massachusetts auto dealer Ernie Boch Jr. and a disabled driver could impact dealerships across the country. BostonNOW reports that a wheelchair-bound customer asked one of Ernie's salesmen to install temporary hand controls so she could test drive a car. The dealership refused. The customer filed a complaint under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), stating the dealership refused to offer "reasonable accommodation" as required by the law. Nine months later, the customer dropped her complaint; the dealership agreed to purchase temporary hand controls to accommodate disabled customers. "I didn't realize how many people actually needed [hand controls]," Ernie demurred. "I don't think I placed any importance on it at first." All eight of Ernie's stores will now make the controls available to disabled drivers. Other dealers will probably follow [law] suit.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Facing falling membership, the United Auto Workers (UAW) is rapidly expanding into non-automotive industries like education and health care. Meanwhile, the UAW continues its full-court press against Toyota and Honda's American factories. So far, the union's attempts to transplant unionism into the transplants' plants have been an abject failure. But try they must. And now there's a new object of their affections: Japanese parts maker Denso.

A Dubai-based company called Fleethorse is designing an environmentally-responsible hybrid, partially powered by a horse walking on a treadmill behind the driver. (No, I haven't ingested hallucinogenic substances this morning. Yet.) An electric motor gets the treadmill moving. And then "the reserved energy, which is fully obtained by movement of the animal and saved in the battery is sufficient enough, to have the vehicle run for a fairly long distance, without having to have the animal running." Lest animal activists get concerned, "the gloss [sic] partition which forms the animal cabin is fitted with an air condition system, and this is to keep the animal safe, from that of unjust weather conditions like, rain, snow, heat or the cold conditions." They don't discuss the environmental quality on the other side of that partition, but it can't be that pleasant being cooped up in an enclosed vehicle with a horse and its associated natural emissions.  What's next… a subcompact powered by two hamsters in a exercise wheel?