"Boot'em Bob" Nardelli didn't really need 100 days to be true to his moniker. According to the Detroit Free Press, the former scourge of Home Depot's upper management "team" has started kicking ass and taking names making changes in Chrysler's executive suite. BEB's appointed former office manager to the CEO Andreas Schell to oversee the company's turnaround plan. Office manager? And hang on: isn't that Chrysler President and Vice Chairman Tom LaSorda's turnaround plan? Yes, well, the press release says Schell will report directly to LaSorda and Nardelli. As a wiser man once almost observed, "No office manager can serve two masters." Or, more childishly, Tom Tom go?

Once again, rather than address the problem, an automaker's using technology to try to mitigate the consequences. Gizmag reports Volvo will show a new technology at the Frankfurt Motor Show that evaluates a driver's alertness and reacts accordingly. Volvo claims that "up to 90 percent" of traffic accidents are caused by a distracted driver; so they've developed a system that uses an array of cameras and sensors to determine the car's movements and calculate whether the driver is at risk of losing control. If it decides there's a problem, it sounds an alarm to let the driver know they need to pay more attention to their driving and less attention to their cell phone, Blackberry, DVD player or whatever they're doing. If the idiot behind the wheel still doesn't react, the car will automatically apply the brakes or take other "preventative safety" actions. It's only a matter of time before a lawsuit claims the car should have taken over and prevented the accident while the driver was busy browsing MySpace on his PDA.

Who said you can't have your cake and drive it too? Wired Magazine continues the top ten transport trend (thanks Forbes) with its list of "The 10 Fastest Green Cars on the Planet." They range from the ridiculous (muscle-powered FM-4 HumanCar) to the ridiculous (1200hp, ethanol-powered SVS Power Dodge Viper). The list also includes Audi's LeMans-winning diesel R-10 TDI, Ford's record-setting fuel-cell Focus and (of course) the "Where is it Now?" Tesla Roadster. Unfortunately, very few of the cars on Wired list are street-legal or in production. Even fewer qualify as anything remotely resembling practical transportation. Still, gearheads and greenies together forever? As Rodney King famously enquired, "Why can't we all just get along?"

Chrysler is about to follow Ford and GM's lead and perform an asset-selling cash grab. According to The Wall Street Journal, Chrysler would "like" to sell its Mopar unit, which makes high-performance and specialty parts, and Chrysler Transport, which manages supply deliveries to their plants. To that end, Chrysler's brought up the possibility in its current contract talks with the United Auto Workers (UAW). Needless to say, the UAW opposes the move, as it would involve the loss of some 1300 dues paying members jobs. The union can bitch all they want but "Boot'em Bob" Nardellli has already stated his new employer's firm intention to "monetize some assets." That's equity fund speak for "strip and flip." Is anyone– including the UAW– really that surprised?

Since the late 30's, the UAW and America's home-grown automakers have been locked in a balance of terror. The arrangement has kept the peace- at a price. Which was pretty much anything the UAW wanted. No-cost life-long health care? A "jobs bank" for superfluous workers? Sure! The Mutually Assured Destruction principle worked as long as the automakers could afford it. But now they can't, and the question is no longer who will blink first, but how much the UAW is willing to surrender to survive. 

Realizing that meeting American and European safety and emission standards is a bitch, Chinese automakers are turning their attention to Africa. According to the Wall Street Journal, Great Wall, Chery Automobile Co. and Geely Group Ltd. are all aggressively targeting developing African nations with low-cost vehicles, successfully competing against the less-than-stellar used vehicles flooding in from Europe. Zheng Guoqing, African sales manager for Great Wall, makes no bones about the "legislative advantages" involved. "The emissions standard is not particularly high there. The requirement for safety is also not high." In the first five months of 2007, China has more than doubled its African auto exports, compared to the same period last year. It'll be interesting to see if those Great Wall Hover II SUVs hold up to the African desert like Land Cruisers and Peugeots, and how easily Cherys and Geeleys can be fixed with a piece of wire and whatever the owner has on hand.

Interest-free loans haven't helped. Incentives up to $4K haven't helped. Maybe bribing the dealers will. Bloomberg reports that an internal GM memo states they're giving dealers cash awards to try to stop the seemingly inexorable sales and market share erosion. The General will give dealers a $250 bonus for every car they sell from August 23 through the end of the month. The dealers, in turn, "can use the money to boost discounts offered directly to consumers through most of September." Or they can just keep the money. In the memo, Buick, Pontiac and GMC general manager Jim Bunnell said, "We have an excellent opportunity to regain our momentum." Sorry Jim, but the last time your tri-division had momentum GM execs wore hats. 

Digital Content Producer reports that The National Alliance of Women In Film (WIF) and GM are launching Traction, an "innovative and unique online magazine by and for women in the entertainment industry." Despite The General's sponsorship and the automotive double entendre, Traction has no automotive-related content. So why is GM involved? We're thinking product placement. After the Transformers movie featured four GM products (including the new… wait for it… wait for it… here it comes… Camaro), it seems GM has a hard-on for Hollywood. While Transformers' GM-heavy content has drawn fire for overkill, Product Placement News says the movie's director is unrepentent: "There are products in everything in everyday life. Do people think there shouldn't be brand names or something?" asks Michael Bay. "Everything is branded. I hate commercials when they take logos off of stuff. It's not real life."

While GM is trash talking about selling 60K plug-in Chevrolet Volts in their first year on the market (whenever that may be), Toyota is more circumspect about the technology's chances. The International Herald Tribune reports that the world's largest automaker (ToMoCo) wants to conduct more consumer testing and market assessment before offering a plug-in Prius. Toyota's U.S. manager for advanced vehicle technology admits "there's a lot of enthusiasm right now about plug-ins." But, Bill Reinert adds, "I'm a little cautious about how much of that ends up as real consumer behavior." In other words, will consumers walk the talk? Cost and convenience may be the critical factors. GM pegs the cost of their plug-in Volt– with a 40-mile electric-only range and mandatory extension cord fun– at around $30K. Toyota's gas-electric Prius currently sells in the low 20s– and experienced a major surge when the price was lowered. Do the math. 

If you're trying to decide whether or not to buy a new car, the Wall Street Journal has a bit of advice: wait. Citing experts from Consumer Reports and Edumunds, they're projecting increased incentives as sales continue to drop and the model year winds down. They also note that some of the 2008 models are being introduced with incentives already attached, which is good for you, bad for their makers. If that bit of advice isn't enough to send the beancounters at The Big 2.8 and Toyondissan running for the Excedrin, their conclusion surely will: "Then again, given the prognosis for the housing market and its effect on consumer budgets, it might simply be wiser to wait. If you've had your car for five years or less, chances are it still has many healthy miles ahead."

In a collectors' market overrun with million-dollar Mopars and other obscenely-priced oldies, what's an average schumck to do when he's bitten by the automotive nostalgia bug? BusinessWeek brings news of the next hot thing in classic collectibles: Pintos, Pacers and Gremlins. According to McKeel Hagerty of Hagerty Insurance, these darlings of the disco era are beginning to increase in popularity and value. If rarity is an indicator of collectibilty, anything surviving from the 70s should be a hot commodity by now, given they rate at which most rusted out within their first three years.

Chrysler is sending the Sebring to China. The Auto Channel tells us they're going to inflict launch the critically panned midsize on the Chinese market in October, where it'll do battle against Camry, Accord and the new Ford Mondeo. The rental car companies needn't worry, though; they won't stop producing them here. They'll be building them in Beijing along side the 300C currently in production under a joint venture with Beijing Automotive Industry Holding Co. You could say that sending the Sebring to China is fitting retaliation for the tainted dog food and lead-painted baby toys sent here, but I couldn't possibly comment. 

TTAC's writers and readers have been saying GM's biggest problem is a massive identity crisis. Now marketing guru Laura Ries is telling the RenCen bunch the same thing about Saturn at The Origin of Brands. Ries takes The General to task saying "Saturn doesn't have a product problem, Saturn doesn't have an advertising problem, Saturn has a ginormous branding problem. What is a Saturn? What does it look like? Who is it for? Who knows." With a few notable exceptions like Corvette, her comments could apply to any vehicle that has come out of Detroit for the last, oh… 40 years or so. Maybe Motown's marketing mavens will listen to one of their own. Look! There goes a pig-shaped flying car! 

Reflecting the obesity epidemic sweeping our society, crash test dummies are porking-up. The Daily Mail reports that Euro NCAP, the organization responsible for crash test results in Europe, is introducing a 6'1" 224 lbs. crash test dummy. The heftier proto-human will accompany the current standard: a 5'9" 172 lbs. male (in the G.I. Joe sense of the word). Not wanting to appear sexist, Euro NCAP's also introducing a 4'11" 108 lbs. female to cover the lower end of the size scale. In the U.S., auto manufacturers abuse up to 18 different crash test dummies in a variety of children's and adult sizes, ranging from the aforementioned 108 lbs. female to a 6'3" 225 lbs. male. NHTSA uses five assorted children's dummies and two adult dummies: the 4'11" female and the 5'9" male. Just in case you were wondering.

In the 60's, Chrysler built 50 experimental turbine-engined cars and put them in the hands of consumers for real-world testing. The turbine program ended abruptly, the victim of emission standards. Now, over 40 years later, emission standards are the driving force behind Chevy's new test fleet of 100 fuel-cell-powered Equinoxes. Popular Science reports that rumors of Chevy's "Project Driveway" are about to come true: GM will select drivers in Orange County, California; Westchester County, New York; and Washington, D.C. to wring-out the hydrogen-powered clean machines, free of charge, for up to two years. (The areas were chosen for their access to hydrogen filling stations, gloves mandatory.) If you're interested in applying for the test program, go to www.chevrolet.com/fuelcell/. And if you're PC lucky enough to be selected, please let us know.