For those of you who looking for a little four-wheeled Viagra (or Cialis if you're waiting for sunny days), Road and Travel Magazine (RTM) has just released their annual "2007 Sexy Car Buyer's Guide." Despite the title, it's not a guide for sexy car buyers. Or a guide to sexy car buyers. These are the cars RTM feel "catch our breath with [their] lithe lines" and feature "the heart-pounding rumble of a sweet exhaust tone." Past winners include the Hyundai Tiburon (2006), Chrysler Crossfire (2005), Chevy SSR (2004), and Lexus SC420 (2003). Current candidates include the Dodge Charger ("like the smashing power of a Leila Ali glove coming at you at full speed") and Volkswagen EOS ("a road runner with simple, elegant lines [and] just enough trim in the right places"). Disappointingly, there's not Tata, Chery, or Daihatsu Naked in the bunch.

Chrysler Group announced today they're offering a lifetime powertrain warranty on all new vehicles delivered on or after July 26. Unlike GM's "best in the industry" five-year/100K warranty, this warranty really is the longest– with a couple of great big "buts" (and I cannot lie). Chrysler's new warranty applies only to the "first registered owner or retail lessee" of certain vehicles (e.g. NOT SRT8's). It requires "a [no-charge] powertrain inspection performed by an authorized Chrysler, Jeep or Dodge dealer once every five years within 60 days of each five-year anniversary of the warranty start date of the vehicle." Since no one leases a vehicle for much longer than four years, the warranty really only applies to new vehicle buyers. Anyone want to drive a 2007 Sebring for the rest of their life?

Want to keep your new car safe and protect everyone who rides within it? IndiaAutomobile.com offers a guide for conducting a puja. Hindus use the ritual, which shows respect for chosen gods or goddesses, to ask for a blessing on a newly-purchased object. The pujari performs the puja at a Hindu temple. You'll need four lemons, one coconut and money (for the pujari). Alternatively, Christians may use this blessing provided by Drdriving. If you have any safe driving rituals or ceremonies (you OCD readers, you), let us know.

The San Jose Mercury News reports that California State Assembly members are given up to $500 per month to lease the car of their choice, plus all the gas they can guzzle, unlimited maintenance and free insurance coverage. The really sweet part of the deal: the state covers any damage to the vehicle (and other liabilities) no matter who is behind the wheel. The state paid over $2K to fix a state-funded car being driven to school by an assemblywoman's teen-aged daughter who rear-ended a truck. Even accidents caused while violating traffic codes are covered. When an assemblyman failed to yield and drove his Tahoe into an intersection while talking on his cell phone, the state shelled out almost $12K to cover the damages. The California Senate has different rules– its members are personally liable for damages to their state-owned vehicles if they're being used for personal business or driven by family members.

We've long argued that Cerberus Capital Management will do whatever it takes to stem Chrysler's cashflow cataclysm.  The Wall Street Journal reports that the Chrysler Group's new management team is giving their poorer-performing dealerships six months to improve sales or face closure. Chrysler has already banned 450 or so so-so dealers from their used car auctions in an attempt to force them to sell more new cars. The warning signals the next step in their campaign to cull underachievers from the automaker's bloated ranks. Like GM and Ford, Cerberus wants to "encourage" smaller dealerships to merge with larger ones. That said, Cerberus better walk softly with that big stick. Car dealers are protected by state franchise laws; dealer groups wield a mighty checkbook at the state level. 

The Big 2.8 should consider themselves lucky in their current UAW negotiations if the union just wants keep what they have and not give anything back. The Moscow Times [sub] reports that workers at the AvtoVAZ assembly plant in Togliattigrad, Russia are demanding a pay increase that equals three times their current salaries. Five thousand of the 110k workers at the plant are threatening to strike if they don't get a pay increase of 25K rubles (about $980) per worker. The Times suggests that a strike of that size could effectively shut down the plant which produces, among other things, GM joint venture vehicles. No word yet on whether the UAW plans a show of solidarity in support of their comrades.

Right after taking control of the House of Representatives, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi formed a panel to look into global warming. Now she's locked in a battle with House Energy and Commerce Committee Chairman John Dingell over proposed CAFE standards, seeking to preserve a rapid rise in the new requirements. Domestic automakers haven't hidden their opposition to Pelosi's plan. Cerberus' Stephen Feinberg claims her approach would raise Chrysler's vehicle prices by $7K apiece. GM Car Czar Maximum Bob Lutz estimates it would cost GM $8K per vehicle. They're all predicting that drastic increases in CAFE would cripple or kill the U.S. auto industry. The result: cutbacks, layoffs and bankruptcies throughout industry. Thousands of industrial workers would lose their jobs. People who belong to labor unions. Labor unions that contributed to Nancy Pelosi's election fund, to the tune of $63K in 2006. In fact, according to Freedom Works, Pelosi ranks ninth overall in contributions from Big Labor AND her largest single contributor was Occidental Petroleum, another industrial enterprise that relies on the auto industry for income. The Nance better watch that whole environmental zealousness shtick– she's biting the hand that feeds.

When it comes to the United Auto Workers (UAW) contract negotiations with The Big 2.8, employee and retiree health care is the 1000lbs. monkey on the automakers' backs. General Motors' health care obligations total $46b, Ford clocks in at $23b and Chrysler's looking at an $18b tab. And consider this: GM's 432k retirees pay roughly $750 per year out of their own pockets for medical care, while their former employer shells out $3.3b on their medical benefits. That's a Hell of a lot of bananas.

Autospectator reports that Volkswagen has raised the fuel mileage on its already stingy Polo BlueMotion. Powered by a 1.4-liter TDI [diesel] engine, Volksie's miserly machine deploys every mileage stretcher known to mankind, from special transmission ratios to low-rolling resistance tires. Baby Blue was sipping 3.9 liters of fuel per 100 kilometers. VW's boffins "optimized the engine configuration" to squeeze an extra tenth of a liter efficiency from the mini (small "m") mill, dropping consumption to 3.8 liters per 100 klicks. That's almost 62 mpg folks AND it exceeds all Euro-emission requirements for diesels. VeeDub pulled-off this mpg miracle without relying on hundreds of pounds of batteries and electric motors — if you know what I mean.

First, it was the OBD-II black box that records your speed just before an accident. Then it was GPS systems in rental cars keeping track of where you drive and how fast you drive there. Now the finance and insurance companies want their piece of the privacy intrusion business. According to the Detroit News, GMAC Financial Services' insurance unit is asking drivers with OnStar-equipped cars to let them track how many miles they drive, dangling the carrot of lowered insurance rates in front of them. OnStar president Chet Huber says data on when or where the car is driven wouldn't go to the insurer. (Yet.) The article makes no mention of whether or not OnStar would share driver information with any local, state or federal agencies and, if so, under what circumstances.  

Quick! Which will earn you more: a doctorate in physics and a professorship at a university, or a high school diploma and a job with Chrysler? It doesn’t take a PhD in economics to guess the right answer to that one. Dr. Mark Perry from the University of Michigan looked at the average total compensation for auto workers (Big 2.8 and transplants) and college professors. He found the average autoworker with a high school diploma and maybe a year or two of technical school earned about $134K per year, while the average college professor makes about $93K in exchange for eight years of college and post-grad work. We won’t even look at what the typical high school or elementary school teacher makes in comparison to the janitorial staff in the auto plants.

Ford and Rousch Racing– the folks who bring you the 800hp, V8-powered, rear wheel-drive Fusion NASCAR racer– are feeling the need. This time, they're teaming up with Ballard and Ohio State Universities to beat the land speed record for fuel cell-powered vehicles. Although you'd think a car named "Fusion" powered by a hydrogen fuel cell would holster a flux capacitor, the car is motivated by a 770hp electric motor. Autoblog Green provides no word on whether it'll be driving the front wheels, the rear wheels or all wheels, but this bad boy's got to crest 315mph to take the title. Call us upside down superstitious, but even though we get the historical allusion, we would have named it something other than "Fusion Hydrogen 999." Just sayin'. 

Scared of car dealer scams? Detroit News writer John McCormick says chill. In an editorial entitled "Afraid of shopping for a car? Get over it;" McCormick chronicled his recent car buying experience. The automotive scribe claims it's no biggie; car dealers are populated by "courteous, knowledgeable and professional" sales staff. While we're all glad Mr. McCormick's had such a wonderful experience securing a new whip, the chances of anyone else emerging with similar satisfaction makes Powerball look like a safe bet.

The June auto industry’s sales results are in. The numbers have sent shock waves throughout Detroit— a town that’s become increasingly familiar with seismic events. Although sales tend to slip slightly as the model year winds down, these figures are stimulating some serious hand-wringing amongst The Big 2.8. When you factor in/out fleet sales, the future looks bleak.

Earlier this week, the European Union rubber-stamped the DaimlerChrysler divorce. So that's it. Later this financial quarter, prefix and suffix will go their separate ways and Cerberus Capital Management will marry the battered bride. Overlooking the fact that Chryslerberus will soon be importing Chinese-built cars for their U.S. customers, the automaker plans a nationwide dealer party for the born-again "all-American company." With all that has– and hasn't– happened to Chrysler of late you have to wonder exactly what and why they're celebrating.