We've never known quite what to make of the A3. Sure, sure, it's a great car with the DSG and the AWD and the big engine, but then the price tag can bump $40k and well, STI please. Those in the know also know that underneath the A3's pretty skin sits the guts of a Volkswagen Golf, er Rabbit. Even at "just" $25K, that's expensive. However, those that don't know, don't care and the A3 has been selling well. Well enough in fact that Motor Authority is reporting Audi will be developing a number of A3 variants. These include but are not limited to a 3-door hatch, a convertible, an S3, a wagon, a small sedan, a sportback and an A3 Allroad. Also, one can never forget that Audi is a German company, meaning that each successive must be bulkier than the previous. And since the new A4 has swelled to nearly BMW 5-Series proportions, expect the 2011 A3 to compete size-wise with the Bavarian 3-Series. If not price-wise, too.

When the E63 platformed 645i first debuted I personally had high hopes. Like all car guys, I irrationally loved the 633CSi. In my mind's eye, I pictured a lean, mean touring machine. Instead BMW dished out an average-powered porkapotamus with very questionable looks, awkward handling and far too many electrical gizmos and doodads. And guess what? They've sold over 80,000 of them and the E64 convertible. Not wanting to mess with (relative) success, Motor Authority is reporting that the next generation 6-Series will have it's shark-suit looks toned down. While the face will look more like the CS Concept, much of the Bangle will be brushed out. They also claim that the new 6 will be longer and lower than the current car. Expect an 8-speed tranny with (of course) paddle shifters and the usual litany of iDrive-themed overkill. One last thing — the next M6 should get a twin-turbo 5.0-liter V10. Insert Tim Allen-like snorting here.

Click here for TTAC photochopper  Andrei Avarvarii's take on the next 6-series

Earlier today I told you that the Mitsuoka Orochi will be leaving Japan in search of oil-rich markets. I also mentioned that pig is ugly. Seriously, heinously, irredeemably butt-faced ugly. Surprisingly — and I really am surprised here — you folks, our readers, think differently. So here I am, trying my hardest to think of an uglier vehicle and… I simply can't. Nothing, nada, zilch, zip is popping into my head. If you're talking almost as ugly then I guess the misshapen Buick Rendezvous. But really, only from behind. Truthfully, even that larded hippopotamus of a Buick can't compete with the scorched-retina styling of the (barf) Orochi. Can it?

Get a bunch of car journalists together and a few conversations are inevitable. Stuff like, "What's the best car ever, period?" or "What's the dumbest car you've ever purchased?" The answers are full of variation (Porsche 959/McLaren F1, Citroen DS/BMW 750iL) and typically end with me asking, "Aren't you guys interested in anything besides cars?" Deaf ears and all that. My point? If the question of world's ugliest car were to come up, there can be no debate. Mitsuoka Orochi is the answer. All other suggestions are utterly wrong. And Motor Authority tells us that, like some latter-day Godzilla, left-hand drive examples of the Orochi are leaving Japan to fry eyeballs in Qatar, UAE, Thailand and Jordon. No, really — look at this monstrosity. What could be more awful? How an NSX-based sports car can make the Pontiac Aztek look like Jessica Biel is inconceivable, incomprehensible and totally unfathomable, but there you go. As for me, I'm stocking up on Raid.

Fact: Jaguar sold 54k cars last year. Fact: Jaguar sold 70k cars in 2006. Fact: Just-auto [via Motor Authority] says Jaguar sales "could potentially double within the next couple of years." How's that? "Forecasts compiled by just-auto map out Jag's production future for its four main models – the X-type, XF, XK and XJ – and foresee volume rising to a more sustainable number closer to the magical 100,000 mark." Sorry, but no fucking way. But wait, there's more! "Possible new models in the Jag product plan, which await the green light from Tata, could further lift this figure towards 150,000 by 2012/2013" The XJ is an albatross and the X-type is the brand's cancerous Achilles Heel. I'm just going to start playing it their way. I'm predicting that Chrysler is going to launch an unspecified new model at some future date and they will sell more cars than Toyota. Like, lots more. In the future. Lamborghini, too. Man, this is fun. Hey Farago, where's my check?

The New York Times Wheels blog has a post up today about how the Porsche Cayenne might be the car of the decade. Author Christian Edstrom argues that the fugly off-roader dumped buckets of duckets into Porsche's coffers, saving the independent automaker from takeover. Moreover, ignoring CAFE-type reasons and sordid family history, Edstrom perpetuates the party line: Porsche bought VW to maintain a steady flow of parts for their SUV cash cow. Nice theory, but car of the decade? I don't think so. To my mind, the car of the Oughts (Naughts?) is the Subaru WRX. Hear me out. The WRX is the democratization of performance. For just $25k, the Subie could run with Porsches (and on certain roads, outrun them) and haul the kids. Moreover, everyone paid attention. Sure, M and AMG predate the Rex, but those are rich people toys. Nowadays? EVO, Redline, GXP, Volkswagen's R, MazdaSpeed, SS, SRT not only exist, but are more than just superfluous badging (typically meaning AWD, turbocharging or sometimes both) thanks to the Rex. Besides, as much as I like the (turbocharged) Cayenne, I just ain't buying it. Even if I could. You?

You might remember Ernesto Freitas from such automotive adventures as the non-Ferrari Dino and the Dutch supercar that wasn't, the Hansen GT-R. Well friends, Senor Freitas and his Portuguese pen are back and this time he's reviving Voision. Perhaps. First, Voisin? Oui, Voisin. Back in the day (think Jazz Age), engineer extraordinaire Gabriel Voisin was cranking out some of the most sophisticated yet beautiful cars in du monde. See, before he got bit by the car bug, Gabriel was into airplanes. And he used his aviation knowledge to the advantage of his vehicles. Voisins may not have had the stump-yankin' thrust of a Bentley, but they were constructed (in Paris) of lightweight aluminum and were aerodynamic. Contrast this philosophy with Rolls-Royce, who at the time was making rolling bricks out of pig iron. Sadly, the depression wiped Voisin out. C'est la vie, as they say. Until now. Maybe, but probably not. See, Mr. Fretias has done a rendering of a vaguely Veyron-like car. He would like to drop one of Audi's diesel V12s in the middle and call the result a Voisin. Bon chance, mon ami.

I've got more reason to hate Edmunds than anyone at TTAC. After all, they recruited me away from both here, Jalopnik and a good day job, then 4.5 days later fired me for having an unpaid speeding ticket (55 mph in a 35 mph) and saying dirty words on my old movie review site. A month later, I was contacted by an Edmunds recruiter and asked if I was still in the job market, as they were hiring for an Associate Editor. The very same position I was canned from. Talk about piling it on. Another Edmunds employee (that I stayed friendly with) said one of the rumors floating around the office was that I was fired for a DUI. Which is not only totally false, but in this business a death sentence. So, I don't like them very much. However, there ain't nothing wrong with taking a Nissan GT-R out and seeing what it can do. First of all, high speed hijinks are why people read about cars. It's the vicarious experience, stupid. Seriously– I owe the IRS $3,000 because of all the money I make writing about cars and I can't even get into a GT-R, let alone run one (nearly) flat out. Second, since our dear leader admitted to traveling faster than 170 mph in a $400k Porsche. Is RF admitting that video is more relevant than text? Thirdly, since when is speed dangerous? Especially in the hands of an experienced driver, such as Ed Hellwig? As Clarkson said after showing the video of Hammond's 300+ mph crash, "And remember, speed kills."

Us car-journo types spill a lot of ink writing about interiors. Interiors? Yeah. You could have an otherwise perfectly fine vehicle let down by crap plastics and more crap plastics. Ford's Mustang comes to mind. In fact, I have zero interest in the new Challenger because of the sub-bargain-basement innards. Looking at the photos reminds me of Chrysler's Sebring, the most miserable modern vehicle I've ever experienced. My point? Interiors matter. In fact, some are so good that I want to spend eternity in them. But which one? Audis always get tossed around when kick-ass insides are discussed. No thank you. Too dark, too much metal and too engineered. That basically rules out anything from Germany. No one wants to be wrapped in a computer forever. What about jolly old England. Nice, indeed, but British cars pose two problems. One, they're too stuffy. Even though you're dead, you still want to breathe. Two, they're too German. If you've ever found yourself in a Bentley GT you were no doubt aghast at the Passat gear lever. This leaves only one country — Italy. And currently, only one car. Bury me in the Maserati Quattroporte Executive GT. You?

Yesterday's gasoline discussion proved quite fruitful and I'd like to stick with it, albeit it with a turn from the political to the pocketbook. And what could be more political? Mom's birthday is right around the corner and my girlfriend picked out some beautiful flowers for her. I bought them. Glancing over the bill, I noticed this nugget: "Courier Fuel Surcharge: $1.93." Say what? More galling, this hidden surcharge wasn't mentioned at any point in the flower purchasing process. So, is this ripoff an outlier, or is this just the way it's going to be?

As much as I like the idea of a hydrogen fuel-cell/nuke-plant-powered future, there's a lot of miles left in ye olde internal combustion mill. For instance, if you replaced mechanically-motivated valves with electronically operated ones, you'd increase both power and mileage. And if you could somehow get the power of a two-stroke engine without constantly burning oil and piston rings or needing a carburetor, why you'd be popping wheelies like a Yamaha RZ 350! Ricardo says yes we can. Their "2/4SIGHT" is a single bank from a V6 set-up to run as two-stroke/four-stroke. Allegedly, it seamlessly switches between two- and four-stroke cycles as power demand increases and decreases. In theory, a 2.1-liter V6 [theoretically] would thus produces 265hp and 339 ft.-lbs. of torque at 2,500 rpm, 27 percent fuel savings and lower carbon emissions. Sadly for now, 2/4SIGHT uses a whole raft of high-tech solutions (boost, injection, intake and exhaust valves are all variable for each cylinder); it's not ready for prime time. We'll keep you posted.

Captain Farago opened up a can of angry worms earlier today when he reported that the New York Times hates Bush and wants to increase the gas tax. After lots of healthy debate, Robert interjected, "Can someone remind me again why we want to reduce gas consumption?" Excellent question. Well, aside from the obvious (life-threatening global warming, billions and billions of dollars– or is that trillions?– being pumped into questionable Middle Eastern regimes) there is the fact that the IRS thinks I owe them $3k. And since I've been paying $3.89 a gallon for the last few weeks, I don't have so many extra pennies to ship off to Washington. But hey, it's not all about me. Why are you concerned about gas consumption, gas prices, alternative propulsion and oil? Patriotism, environmentalism, cheap bastardism? How and when did the realization occur that something must be done?

When you gotta drive, you gotta drive. Unless you're Leonid Stadnyk, the world's tallest man. In that case you're eight feet five inches tall, still growing and can't actually fit in cars. Or buses. In fact, the former veterinarian is so dang tall he never even bothered with a driver's license. The AP reports all of that changed yesterday when the 37-year-old giant received a specially modified car from none other than Mr. Orange Revolution himself, Viktor Yushchenko. Actually, Stadnyk was tired of walking everywhere, so he wrote President Yushchenko a letter, explaining his plight. Turns out that Viktor Yushchenko is a pretty cool dude; he enlisted the help of engineers at ZAZ in Zaporizhia to retrofit an Autozaz-Daewoo for a 2.55 meter tall driver with European size 64 feet (around size 25 in the U.S.). Actually, the Zaz boys did the passenger seat too, as Stadnyk can't drive. Yet. For as Stadnyk puts it, "I will resolve the question of a driver's license soon." Where will the reality TV crew sit? 

The HMMWV (a.k.a. HumVee or Hummer H1) entered production in 1985. Since then, 190k of these rolling beasts of burden have been produced. The military is now calling for a new design, dubbed the Joint Light Tactical Vehicles (JLTV). Motor Trend reports that JLTCs must be capable of "performing multiple mission roles to provide protected, sustained, networked mobility for personnel and payloads across the full Range of Military Operations (ROMO)." Considering tjhe carnage caused by Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs), it's no co-winky-dink that the first adjective is "protected." With that sad fact in mind, BAE Systems has developed the vehicle pictured here. Bigger and longer than an up-armored HumVee, yet still under the 16,800 lbs. air-transportation weight limit, the BAE's features a boat-like hull to deflect explosions. Same goes for the angled doors, whose widest point is at chest height. The BAE's passenger floor is flat; passengers can exit from either side of the vehicle. Moreover, all the components are totally modular. Even if insurgents/militias/Al Queda terroristss blow-up the cooling system, the vehicle is still operable. No word on a delivery date, but hopefully in time for John McCain to bomb, bomb, bomb Iran.

Around here, our favorite items are of the "News That Will Shock No One" variety. Hot on the heels of yesterday's "shocking" revelations that Lutz hates oil burners and the April Fool's strike truckers' shutdown protesting spiraling fuel costs, no one here at TTAC is, well, shocked that Bentley isn't pursuing a diesel option. For the time being. Motor Authority is reporting that even though Bentley's marketing director feels mega-torque, slow-to-rotate mills are perfect for the brand, customers (shock) simply aren't interested. Especially here in the US of A, by far Bentley's largest market. However, as diesel motors are as popular as petrol engines in Europe (if not more so), and even stricter emission and fuel economy standards are just around the corner, Bentley's diesel hand might be forced. Luckily for the ultra-rich, Big Daddy VW has a lethal arsenal of killer no-spark plug motors– including and not limited to a simply mental new 6.0-liter V12 that delivers 500 hp. God can only guess at the torque. And he'd probably drive one, too.