We could also ask, "Can you ever go home again?" Lots and lots of retrofitted metal is coming our way. Dodge is rolling out the fatty Challenger, Chevrolet is (maybe one day) offering up the Camaro and it looks like Pontiac is (gulp) actually bringing back the El Camino, although who knows what they're actually calling it (Pontiac Davey G8 if they're being honest). Don't get me wrong, truck-cars have always been cool, but this one? I was stuck at a red light over the weekend, staring at a Honda Element and I realized it, in fact, has suicide doors. Back in the day, suicide doors were the very definition of cool. I mean, a big old Lincoln Continental? Fuhgedaboutit. But an Element? I'll forget all about it, but for very different reasons. When I was in high school El Caminos and muscle cars were cool because you just knew the driver had an STD. A cool one. But this new Pontiac? What sorta disease you going to get from that? Gingivitis? So is there anything positive to say about all the retro shit they're giving us now?

A few years back it was safety. Before that it was reliability. At some distant point in the past it was (maybe) performance. These days, the ever-fickle and typically totally misinformed car buying public is obsessed with mpg– at least according to AAA. And why not? Gas is flirting with $4 a gallon. Milk, egg, your gas bill, beer, Viagra– everything is up, up, up! The MotorAuthority reports that consumers are fighting back by purchasing more fuel-efficient cars. In other words, they're being rational rather than emotional. But how do you define rational? This past weekend a friend asked my girlfriend what the latter thought of her 2001 Ford Focus, a vehicle held together by duct tape and bumper stickers. The friend asking had a 2000 Ford Escort which fell apart in less than 100k miles. She currently owns a 1998 Ford Explorer. She's thinking about getting a new Focus. She's from Michigan, so she can only buy Fords. Or a Prius. Go figure.

Judy Smongesky has been driving around San Diego for nearly four decades in her Silver-Blue 1965 Mustang. It has over 300k miles on the clock and she's rebuilt the engine twice. Only problem is, it's not her car. Turns out back in 1970 Eugene Brakke reported his 'Stang as stolen. Last week, when Smongesky was preparing to sell the car, the police notified her that it was hot. She sure was surprised, as her father had bought her the car when she was a teenager (some things never change). Even though MSNBC reports that Smongesky's had the car 9.5 times longer than Mr. Brakke, she's giving it back to him. And he has the nerve to be angry about the paint job (the car was originally gold). The whole ordeal proves conclusively that even though possession is 9/10s the law, it's not.

My first car was a 1985 Pontiac Parisienne Safari Station Wagon with a tow package and when I got it, 173,000 miles. It was brown with a brown interior. The 5.0-liter V8 cranked out (maybe) 140 horses and it didn't even have a tape deck. It's a wonder I like cars at all. Of course here in LA you see lots and lots of high school children driving 'round in a shiny new BMW 3-series. Lexus IS's and new Mustangs are popular choices, too. On the other hand, there are the parents out there who feel safety is priority one, and arm their spawn with heavy metal in the form of Expeditions and Denalis. Then of course there is the little turd who cut me off this morning in a Yellow H2. Man, would I like to smack his father. Yeah, so, what should kids drive?

All great athletes have one. Kareem's Sky Hook. Ali's Rope-a-Dope. Brett Favre out of the pocket, loose and on the run. Mariusz Pudzianowski flinging them the Atlas Balls. I figure all great drivers have a signature move, too. And I'll just go ahead and assume that all TTAC readers are great drivers, right? Of course right. And so we ask, what's your secret weapon? Can you hit an apple on the apex? Powerslide around corners? Jump from stump to stump? Maintain complete control in the pouring rain? Before it was taboo, my buddy Rob was proud of the fact that he could yak on the phone, smoke, eat a donut and shift all at once. Hey, this is LA where Rob's feat is a real accomplishment. Now his wife won't let him do three of the four. I'm quite good at heeling and toeing, using the technique every single time I want to slow a car. Hey, it's good on the brakes at the expense of a little gas. But my best move? I can parallel park circles around you. Yours?

Today's query is of the decidedly non-scientific variety (unlike yesterday's…). For the second time in as many days, there I was cruising in the fast lane when suddenly I had to brake from around 75 mph down to 63 mph. The freeway curved enough for me to see what the hold-up was. It was a damn Toyota Corolla. I'm not fibbing, either. Twice, in consecutive days, a Corolla was lollygagging in the left lane, wrecking it for everybody else. Yesterday, the horrible irony was that there were two Corollas in the next lane happily trudging along at maybe the speed limit. Meaning I was trapped. Today, there was a Datsun B210. It took a while, but I managed to get free and clear. The day before? Trapped like a rat. A slow rat. I posit that the Corolla, and the mentality that drives a Corolla, causes the most traffic. You?

Kind of an ugly sucker, no? And before you start groaning, Motor Authority reports the proposed Raptor can also run on regular gasoline. Obviously, Saleen already has the manic, monstrous S7 hypercar (which creates so much downforce it can be driven upside down) in its stable. Only problem there is, the massively scalloped S7 retails for $600,000. The S56 Raptor however, should it see the light of day, will sticker for "just" $190,000. And what does the monetary equivalent of a five-bedroom house in Albuquerque get you? A mid-engined, supercharged 5.0-liter V8 than can summon 650 horses and 630 lb-ft of twist. That will equate to a 0-60 time of 3.2 seconds and a top speed in the 200 mph 'hood. Our favorite part? It's getting a six-speed manual instead of some high-falutin' flappy paddle misnomer. Will they build it? Don't know. But you can never have too many supercars, now can you?

After nine thousand righteously violent miles, I had to slap a new set of Goodyear Eagle F1s on my WRX. I suppose if I had behaved, the previous set would have lasted (much) longer. But after giving them a good inspection this weekend, I noticed massive tread wear and a sidewall blister the size of my big toe. Eight months ago, all four tires plus installation cost me $644. This time 'round? $685. But hey, who's counting? Well, actually, me. As the WRX takes nothing but the good stuff, I'm now paying $3.99 per gallon. Then there's the monthly car payment, outlandish insurance (you try being a single male in LA with a turbocharged car and a ticket or three) and my propensity to mash the front of my car against, um, rocks. And let's not forget $60 bucks every 5k miles for synthetic oil. And car washes, tuneups and after-market mods that I don't really need. All said and done, I'm broke. Contrast the above with my buddy Dylan's bio-diesel powered Ford F250. During a recent cruise in his French fry-powered Ford, I was struck by the fact that his motoring didn't cost him a red cent. The truck is paid for, the tires will never wear down and all the Asian restaurants in the East Bay are happy to give him their old Frialator oil. So I'm asking: how much are you spending on your car/cars?

Huh? No, really. Before you call me weird, please read this from The National Post. To summarize (for our time-challenged cubicle dwellers), Nissan employs a designer named Shiro Nakamura. As a cellist, Nakamura uses music to design cars. No, really. "The Nissan brand is more is more like jazz, pop or rock, whereas the Infiniti luxury division is akin to classical music." I'm not sure where that leaves the new FX50, though Wagner springs to mind. And I'm positive that the QX56… I was going to make a Mozart bowel movement joke here. Anyway, you get the idea. As corny as this seriously forced metaphor sounds, let's ride it like a Valkyrie. I drive a blue Subaru WRX wagon. For some perverse reason, the Subie reminds me of Andrew W.K. Often bloody, but unbowed. And manic. You?

Yesterday we discussed snow vehicles, so let's go for some contrast. I mean, it's mid-March and already the sun is shining. (Come April, I'll stop wearing socks until November.) Sure kids get murdered picking lemons off my old tree, but I love Los Angeles. I was having a beer with my neighbor last night and he mentioned that he had seen a yellow-nosed green Se7en parked on some studio lot. My pulse sped up. I know I talk about Se7ens with as much passion (and as often) as Farago mentions his Boxster S, but why on earth not? It's my opinion that if you boil the notion of "car" down to its marrow, you get a Se7en. A totally pure automobile. Of course, this weekend's question is concerned with the best summer vehicle. And it's hot in the summer, so I'll need AC. And Boxster's have AC, don't they? Real and/or aspirational, what's your fave summer steed?

Today's question comes from Luke Procter. It's about snow. I saw snow once. It was cold, I didn't like it. So, just listen to Luke, as I have no idea. "Cars in snow suck. They get stuck. And the engine overheats. And they get stuck. And with Mother Nature (that bitch) dropping another half meter of the white shit on us Canadians (and northern Americans), I've been thinking about getting a different vehicle. I've currently got an ‘01 Impala. It only got stuck three times last night. Snow tires or not, the damn thing gets hung-up on snow over four inches deep. So, the question is, what's your favorite current or fantasy vehicle for driving through the snow and showing Mother Nature's who's boss? Right now, I've been given a real solid bitch slap." I'll just say Unimog, cause they look neat. You?

I suppose the biggest problem with naming a car "V8" is that the moniker becomes moot when you stuff a V12 beneath the bonnet. Other than that, the V12 Vantage RS looks to be perfect. The numbers are unclear, but as the engine is closer to the DBR9 racer than the DBS, power should be in the 600 horsepower neighborhood. Which means 60 mph happens in (about) four seconds and a top speed of oh, let's just say 190 mph. The price is equally bracing. Motor Authority claims the V12 Vantage RS will cost more than the $265k DBS. Stop the presses! The smaller car from a sportscar maker is the most powerful, fastest and most expensive? And all this time we thought Farago's pleas for a stonkin' Cayman motor have been falling on deaf Porsche ears. Turns-out our Aston Martin's been listening (as if). Those who are about to fly salute you. As a life long Astonphile, I'm salivating over this sucker. There are only two cars I routinely pine for: the Veyron and a Se7en. Make that three, assuming this car happens.

Lots and lots of modern cars are pretty gnarly looking. Why, just look at the Sebring. Kidding. Don't. But when it comes to non-beauty, lumbering SUVs take the ugly-cake. Mr. Berkowitz just posted about the newly facelifted MB ML and I agree with his comment about the need to sue the surgeon for "negligence and malpractice." The thing is, by SUV standards, the ML isn't even that bad. Just look at the Mercedes GLK. Blech! Furthermore, the more Land Rover LR3 rear ends I see, the more I realize how horrid that drooping window looks. And then there's the BMW X3, which is simply a joke. A bad joke at that. And can we forget Subaru's Tribeca? No friends, we can't. Which SUV do you consider the most Medusa-like?

When we last left our hero, I was dodging post-wine tasting Buicks and Caddys in a hair-brained sprint to Los Angeles before the sun went down. My steed was a sparkle-blue 1981 Corvette with non-functioning headlights. Until this point, I’d been lollygagging along in the right lane. I assumed that the ‘Vette’s engine would crap-out on me if I gave it the boot. But the fear of getting caught with no lights– and then watching the DEA strip the car to the frame– forced my foot to the firewall.

If you're here, we'll just go and assume you love cars. Of course, there's that 0.5% of TTAC readers that hates cars. We know you hate Howard Stern, too. And your Sirius bill is late. But seriously, why? Why do over 20k of you come here every day to read the rantings and ravings of a bunch of OCD cases (sorry Robert) borderline personalities (sorry Justin) ripping the guts out of a handful of global corporations? Oh wait, that does sound like fun. But, you loved cars before TTAC, so why? Yesterday we learned that not only is the Vatican (essentially) calling driving a sin, but that scientists are telling us we have to reduce carbon output to zero. That's getting it from both ends as my old man used to say. And another thing: bio-deisel kills fish. Tadpoles, too. And why do we care about the middle east again? Oh yeah, oil. My point? There's a lot of negatives to this car thing. How do you justify your love? Or do you?