Last week, Chrysler announced they’d cancelled plans to build their super-sized 300, the Imperial sedan. Company Spinmeister David Elshoff cited new, more stringent EPA mileage and emissions regulations and added a moral spin: given the “current climate,” bringing the Imperial to production would have been "irresponsible." Regardless of the need to conform to political correctness and regulations yet to be enacted, the “poor man’s Phantom” had few friends in the punditry biz. (The word ugly featured prominently in their analysis.) And yet, deep-sixing the Imperial was a big mistake. 

Porsche’s last derivative in the current 911 model lineup, the GT2, clocks-in at a 10.0 on the enough-already- o-meter. Marketologistically speaking, the new GT2 is the "track-oriented" Carrera variant. In layman's terms, it's a 911 Turbo that guzzled Slim Fast and binged on methamphetamines. So what's not to like? 1. the GT2 costs $220k, which is a stupid price to pay for a machine that looks like a $100k orthodontist's car. There are plenty of true exotics at that price point (e.g. the Ferrari F430). As a track car, well, that brings us to number 2. Even practiced Porker pilots deemed the previous GT2 TSTD (Too Scary to Drive). As the next gen GT2's advertising strapline is "Requires Respect," you can bet Stuttgart's newest Xtreme machine will be even more likely to make drivers and passengers scream for their electronic Nanny. So where does that leave the Porsche GT2? Sold out. But besides a handful of early adopters and followers of the German marque de Sade, the rest of the car buying world has a lot better things to think about.

Not that Camcordima or Miata drivers have noticed, but GM’s long-neglected Saturn brand has been busy rolling out a raft of new models. I came, I saw, I drove, I despaired. The Aura, Sky and Outlook are fine machines, but even better examples of “80%” cars: GM vehicles that are an interior, gearbox, suspension and/or trunk space away from greatness. So when I saw the all-new, Opel-sourced 2008 Saturn Vue, I thought I knew exactly what was coming my way. I don’t mind saying it: I was somewhat wrong. 

Motor Trend reports that Honda is building a V8 engine, much to the dismay of VTEC worshippers everywhere. Since GM has proven- again and again- that V8 engines are dynamically and commercially useless in front-wheel drive cars, the V8's future in Honda's FWD family is something of a mystery. The all wheel-drive Acura RL will surely be a recipient, since its V6-only configuration (not to mention bland looks and ADD interior) have left it an also-ran in the midsize luxury category. The Ridgeline or its eventual successor is another likely candidate for the eight-pot– even though there are some fanboys who'd prefer to use Ridgelines to create artificial reefs. The most logical recipient of Honda's V8: the NSX. But Honda has been saying all along that their next gen supercar will get a ten-cylinder vibration factory instead. Aside from all of the practical issues, why is fuel-miserly Honda making a V8? Unless it's part of some master plan to soften the blow for refugee NASCAR families ditching the Detroit iron, Honda's motives remain shrouded in secrecy and conjecture.

Get out yer shovel, Ford is exhuming Lincoln. The Motor Authority reports that the 415hp "TwinForce" V6 engine featured in the Lincoln MKS concept car is actually going into a Lincoln. (The "twin" part of the moniker refers to "improved efficiency and performance," not double forced induction.) But wait, there's more! Ford claims it's developing "TwinForce" four and eight cylinder engines, the latter destined for high end cars and Mustangs. Keep in mind that Ford has disappointed us once or twice before (Interceptor, 427, Shelby GR-1, every Lincoln concept in the past ten years, etc.). I'm expecting to drive a cool-looking 400-horse V6 Ford, along with the promised six-speed dual clutch transmission, about the time geneticists engineer airborne swine. 

The vast majority of today’s SUVs and CUVs share the same modus operandi. They’re good for a bus, bad for a car. They’re thirsty, overpriced, overweight and over here. Most now come complete with a market-mandatory third row that’s as about useful as a werewolf at Trader Vic’s. So when I read BMW’s characteristically modest tagline for their new X5 SUV CUV SAV on their official website– “Room for everything except improvement”– I considered myself an honorary Missourian. Ultimate driving machine on stilts? Show me.

I'm not particularly enamored by BMW's new M3, and not just because a replacement wheel would clear out my life-savings. On paper, it's just not that impressive. It costs $60 large (when all's said and done), tips the scales at 3600 lbs. and summons those braggadocios 420 horses by stretching to a Honda-like 8300 rpm. Where's the torque? The new M3 stumps-up the same grunt as BMW's new 2.0-liter four-cylinder turbodiesel (295 ft.-lbs.). While the RS4 and C63 AMG present viable alternatives for twist-lovers, the twin-turbo straight six-powered 335i lurking in the background looks like the real deal killer. The 335i's got less horsepower than the new M3, but it's far more usable at the same exact fighting weight. The 335i will also save you some $15k– and that's before the inevitable M3 dealer markups. A test drive should tell the tale. But before you weigh-in here (and criticize me for my empirical ignorance), check out the M-fur flying over at pistonheads.com.

Reuters reports that Bentley sold 5600 vehicles for the first half of 2007. That's not half bad, considering the company sold 1017 vehicles in all of 2003. As The Continental GT and Continental Flying Spur account for nearly all the sales, VW's handling of the Bentley brand can now be officially labeled bloody brilliant. As VW flounders and Audi fights tooth and nail just to hear BMW say "We don't consider Audi a competitor," Bentley has hit (if not created) the low six figure sweet spot, just above Mercedes and BMW. The Conti's priced high enough to keep out the luxury car riff-raff, but low enough so that it doesn't scare away all the CEOs and Managing Partners (as would a Rolls-Royce or Maybach.) Where does Bentley go from here? That's a question that the Bentley brand, which sold the same car for the 20 years before VW bought it, will have real trouble answering.   

General Motors is a trash talker. The automaker brags about future show-stoppers, unveils concept vehicles with a sly wink (knowing full well they're stuck in development Hell) and offers press hacks "preview" drives of half-baked green machines. No GM brand has been more abused by these dishonest "you just wait" promises than Buick. The 2004 Velite was a glimpse of an alternate universe, where Buick made perfect sense. And as far back as 2003, board-certified spin specialist Bob Lutz was busy proclaiming that Buick will be "an American Lexus." As if.

The United States operates special courts to deal with taxes and bankruptcies. The issues are considered too complex and specialized for regular courts to adjudicate. So if the judiciary accommodates its own intellectual shortcomings, why can’t Congress do the same? The branch of the government with the lowest approval ratings (a whopping 25 percent according to this week’s Newsweek poll) spent this week contemplating an issue it does not, cannot fully comprehend: CAFE standards.

In “The Blue-Eyed Salaryman,” American author Niall Murtagh charts his fourteen year career inside Mitsubishi Japan. When Murtagh gets transferred to Osaka, he concludes that the Tokyo part of the company focuses on large visionary research projects, while Osaka demands practical applications. And there you have it: the dichotomy that accounts for Mitsubishi’s progress in the automotive arena. You have visionary products like the Evo with very little practical purpose, and dull products like the Outlander with very little vision. So where does the new Lancer fit?  

My father is a car guy in his late fifties. One day, he decided he wanted a sports car. Anyone who’s clocked the age of the men in the Viagra’s ads should realize this isn’t an unusual phenomenon. Men fifty and over are the heart and soul of the U.S. sports car market. And the Chevrolet Corvette occupies the bulls-eye center of that prime demographic. The ‘Vette is also one of GM’s few bright spots: the only world class car in Chevrolet’s showroom of mediocrity. Anyway, my father tried to buy a Corvette– and failed.

In 2001, Land Rover parachuted their not-so-cute ute across the pond. The Freelander landed with a splat. Gas was cheap and XXL SUV's dominated the landscape. What's more (or less), the 174 horse Freelander was technologically quaint, reliability challenged and forgot to show up for its federal crash test. And so Land Rover has redeployed the second-generation Freelander, the forgettably-named LR2, into the American market. This time, sales of big SUVs are in the toilet, there's a burgeoning compact SUV market and Land Rover's traditional entryway, the LR3 (nee Discovery), now costs a lofty $45k+.

If Toyota is the new GM, Kia is the new Toyota. After establishing a U.S. beachhead with price-oriented products, the Korean automaker has gradually expanded its reach by replacing its penalty boxes with vehicles sporting upmarket features and class-leading safety, while maintaining the brand's value promise. The Rondo is yet another example of the kind of mass market machine The Big 2.5 should be building, but isn't.    

There are some amongst us who hate auto shows in general and any given auto show in specific. They see the pistonhead conclaves as a soulless smorgasbord of automobiles in aspic, with side tables filled with deep fried hype. I don't share the antipathy. Where else can you go and see PR flacks spinning each other? It's like Paris after 911, when French café waiters were forced to be rude to each other. Oh yeah, and there are lots of cars for dissing, dismissing and, occasionally, drooling. Live, from New York! It's Here's What You Missed!