Sometimes, when we podcast, we just have too much fun. Jonny and I were yammering about the Nissan GT-R, Porsche’s PDK transmission, and of course Toyota’s ass-kicking Hilux and Audi’s bizarre plans for the R8 (which I still don’t totally grasp). The result? We ran way over time. Twelve minutes, forty-one seconds. That’s not okay. The mission is ten minute podcasts with perhaps a minute for a grace period. We’ll be sticking to time from now on. As for the video, never underestimate the stupidity of Russian oligarchs and their even stupider children.

WARNING: Podcast contains some profanity, including an f-bomb.

Although officially set for the LA Auto Show in November, the Sydney auto show welcomed the all new 2010 Mazda3 today. Mazda says the new car will have two four-cylinder engines for the U.S. market, a 2.0 liter and a 2.5 liter (the latter probably producing in the neighborhood of 170-175 horsepower). The 2.0 liter will feature direct injection (at least in Australia, so no reason to think it will not come to the U.S. too). The car still rides on some variant of the Ford Focus/Volvo S40 platform, though it’s unclear how much Mazda modified it for this version of the Mazda3. We do know the sheetmetal is all new and so is the interior. We’ll bring you more info as it comes to us – and will be covering the LA Auto Show live from the floor!

One of the joys of telecommuting: no actual commuting. No train ride (I’ll thank you for not spilling your coffee on my New York Times again, strangers) and no car ride. Where do I go? To my home office. The consequence is that I’ve been driving for fun and when I’m too short on time to walk the 3/4 mile trip to the grocery store. It’s a breeze parking my little VW GTI between the beheamoth luxury SUVs that have become suburban landmarks. What I always forget, while I arrogantly load up my hatchback with a 24 pack of toilet paper, is that I share a big SUV with my father – an eleven year old Ford Expedition. We bought it with 150,000 miles for about the same price as a really nice big screen TV and use it for, well what you really would need a big truck for. That means hauling lumber from Home Depot, or double sized mattresses and coffee tables simultaneously, or towing the 23 foot Chris Craft we bought to restore, or driving six of my friends comfortably to Atlantic City. While the old Ford only gets to stretch its legs once a week or so, it’s there when we do need it. It seems somewhat wasteful to have an extra car; then again, whether you consider the total cost of the small and large cars, or the carbon footprint (ahem), or the amout of gas we use, it’s all very small. I do know people with a fleet of new cars, large and small, for different tasks too. Some relatives are augmenting their current Saturn Outlook with a Saturn Astra and a MINI Cooper Clubman. That strikes me as excessive. But who am I to judge?

With the economic downturn, recession, depression, or whatever you want to call it, we already know that new car sales are taking a long vacation from existence. And cars like the Ferraris and Alfa 8Cs of the world shouldn’t have too much trouble selling, since there are still millions of millionaires. But how about the muscle cars? By and large, the boom in muscle car prices was the result of nostalgic shoppers, laying out significant – but not exorbitant – sums for the dreamcars of their youths. We’re talking about people that had been buying and selling drivable muscle cars in the $20k to $50k range, not just the Barret-Jackson shopping insanity. With financial “gurus” like Jim Cramer telling punters to cash-out all their investments, we can expect a glut of reasonable condition cars on the market, as folks look to pick up more money before the storm. And then consider that in the context of a hugely reduced buyers’ market: how many people are looking for five-figure toys these days? I’m far from an expert, but I’d guess we will see something on the order of a 60 percent drop in the market values of cars like Camaros, Mustangs, Chevelles, and Pontiacs. The rarer and collectible models will no doubt fare better, as these tend to go to buyers that do more polishing and less driving (if ever). While some sellers may decide to hang on to their cars because there are so few buyers, there will still be plenty of cars on the market. It’s a buyer’s opportunity, no doubt about that. If, like me, you’ve ever just wanted an AMC AMX in the driveway, the next few years might be the time, should you be employed.

I was stumbling around the Milan airport after a red-eye flight last January when I came upon a Ferrari store. I have absolutely no idea what kind of sales a store like this might rack up (or really, not rack up). Even the insanely wealthy would no doubt feel strange about wearing a $58 Ferrari t-shirt if they didn’t actually own a Ferrari. If I bought one, I’d just feel like a … well the word I’m thinking of rhymes with “bouchebag.” The rest of the merchandise, from $600 parkas to $250 silk ties was equally stupidpriced. The best explanation I can think of for the store is to keep the Ferrari brand nestled among other exotic luxury brands. But all in all, I have to say it makes my head hurt. The exception to me would be any type of event-oriented clothing (i.e. Ferrari day at the beach 2003) or something commemorative (a picture of a Ferrari 250 California, in which case you’d look like a dork rather than a poseur).

Duh.

Have your volume up for the vid.

Originally posted (without my snarky italicized comments) at Jalopnik.

10. Mazda MX-5 Retractable Hardtop
Starts off well. If you pack very light.

9. Jeep Wrangler Unlimited
Oh, this’ll be just great on the highway. I thought they said weekend trip, not off-roading camping expedition.

8. Maserati Gran Turismo S
Might as well add a Bentley while we’re at it.

7. Volkswagen Tiguan
Nope.

6. MINI Cooper Clubman
Do you have so much stuff it won’t fit in a Cooper with the rear seats folded?

5. Ford Ranger FX4
This is a joke, right?

4. Mitsubishi Lancer Evo X
I’m sure my girlfriend would love a 5 hour drive with me keeping one of these on a rolling boil.

3. BMW X6
I’d rather not send the villagers running.

2. Subaru Outback Limited 2.5 XT
Makes the most sense out of any car on the list.

1. Porsche 911 Targa 4
Sure, and do me a favor, fill the trunk with diamonds.

The Berkowitz list (and they’re all under $50k): Subaru Outback 2.5 XT, Dodge Challenger SRT8, BMW 335i, Ford Explorer, Ford Flex, Mazda MX-5, Volkswagen Jetta TDI or 2.0T, Saab 9-3 Convertible, MINI Cooper S, and Suzuki SX4.

In uncharacteristic style for anything French, Renault wants to expand into new territory. Still. They are “itching to get back into the U.S.,” according to a Wall Street Journal report. Despite a 55 percent drop in stock value this year and rumblings about Carlos Ghosn possibly stepping down from his dual-CEO post, someone at Renault thinks it might be a nice idea to return to the U.S. market. And it might be nice for Scarlett Johansson to tell me the next time she’s going to elope with someone better looking, funnier, taller and richer than I am. But as the philosopher Jagger said, you can’t always get what you want (credit to David Shore for that line). Nissan’s already slumping in The Land of the Free. Renault’s current lineup can’t meet U.S. EPA and crash standards which are different (though not necessarily better) than the Euro NCAP variety. Renault’s diesels wouldn’t have a prayer here without expensive testing or licensing the Bluetec system from Mercedes. And there’s the dealer/distribution problem, which can’t be magically solved by a hypothetical perfect Chrysler tie-up. And then there’s the whole “Americans don’t buy French” thing. And it’s all too bad, because I would love a Renault. But with even Renault saying that they would need to develop three new models specifically for the American market, you’ve got to wonder why the hell they’d bother.

We’ve got this Green.MSN.com website.
So let’s do something with it! I hear this hypermiling thing is big.
It sure is. What is it?
No idea. Some crap about getting great mileage without having a hybrid.

“When you first start hypermiling, I find, you really wish you had someone to ride along with you to show you the ropes. Sadly, that’s not yet an option for most people. Until then, we can learn from some of the best.” Rather than suggest you not play with fire (like turning off your car while coasting, thus killing your power brakes), MSN asks self-confessed “efficiency nerd” Darin Cosgrove some broad questions and calls it good. I repeat: the article does not contain a single tip (although you now know to avoid Darin Cosgrove at parties). Not only is the article useless, but it is part of the irresponsible practice of telling people they should do something dangerous without even understanding it completely, or having someone “show them the ropes.”

Hours, days, weeks. I can’t even begin to tally the time I’ve wasted – flushed away, evaporated, murdered – because of eBay Motors and Craigslist and even Hemmings. I know that half the listings are frauds, and the other half are overpriced. I know that “excellent condition!!1” means well beaten and abused. And that “shows signs of wear and tear” means it was previously used to haul broken toilets. I don’t care. It’s just the ultimate window shopping, tire kicking, fantasy dreaming experience. That’s why Murilee Martin (Jalopnik) puts up those wonderful project car hell posts. Because they inevitably will be hell. Just ask Stephan Wilkinson (or to save him precious time, read his book). But I don’t have to worry about that when I’m on eBay Motors. Once I see that the engine has been replaced with a hamster on a wheel, I can just move on. “What would it be like to own a stick shift Land Rover Discovery?” Surf eBay, find one, sift through the pics, and imagine yourself in that ridiculous ride. Car picture porn online? Nothing comes close. Don’t know much about a model? Pop over to Wikipedia for some misinformation, then hit up YouTube to hear how it sounds. Best of all, the auctions last just long enough for my passing tastes to expire. Oh sure, I like the idea of a Peugeot 405 wagon this week. But next week it’ll be gone. And I won’t care, because I’ll be looking for a Buick Grand National. Or a Mercury Marauder. Or maybe an Olds Rocket 88! It doesn’t matter what your poison is, because between eBay, Craigslist, and Hemmings, they’ll cover it all. In today’s podcast, Lieberman and I have another silly argument about the wonders of Italian sports cars, among other delights from Autofiends.

Detroit’s Big Three are in serious trouble. That’s not news to anyone. Toyota and Honda, while suffering sales decreases last month, are still in the black. But the big question is where the future of the American automotive industry is – if there is one. Even if the Big Three don’t completely vanish, their continued downsizing will leave boatloads of engineers and mid-level execs without a job. Is the Silicon Valley model of business the future for the automotive industry for the next twenty years? Tesla seemed to raise plenty of dough despite immense production issues. And Carbon Motors is attempting to crank out a custom-built police car. There’s no way tiny companies like these could build enough cars for the entire US population. Nor could they compete with big boys like Toyota. But we might see a boom in purpose-built vehicles coming from smaller companies. Dodge Vipers from whoever buys the program. Electric sports cars from Tesla. An electric sedan from somebody. Carbon Motors’ police cars. Single-purpose taxicabs. And so on. Even after the small companies consolidate, it would be a clean start for the American automotive industry. Is it going to happen? No. But I’m just sayin’.

I’m in the minority. While I think the Ferrari California is not only ugly, but unfaithful to the priceless Ferrari brand, others do not. Some of us shower regularly. Others like this Ferrari California. Where I see a competition with the Mercedes SL for buyers, others see some kind of gorgeous and practical roadster. How many others? Enough that the California is sold out until 2011. That’s not a surprise; every Ferrari model sells out. But what is surprising is that 60% of California buyers will be new to the Ferrari brand. And what do you bet those folks won’t be repeat customers?

TTAC’s Martin Schwoerer, attending the show in Paris, writes:
If for no other reason, the Ferrari California would have made it worthwhile to come to Paris. In the flesh, it looks absolutely stunning. I was prepared to criticize the retro, Ferrari-heritage inspired style, but it works out fantastically. Andrea Pininfarina, before you left this world, you made it a bit more beautiful.

In today’s podcast, Lieberman and I discuss the “stars so far” of the Paris Auto Show. Neither of us is there, because the Gulfstream is in for repairs, but we are following along with pictures from our friends sweating it out in Paris. Because what you might not know is that covering an auto show – especially for a blog – is not exactly party time. You attend endless press conferences and hear the same buzzwords hundreds of times. Green, groundbreaking, segment busting, “build on that success” and so on. Press rooms are tiny. And in Paris, they have air conditioning issues (none to speak of) and everybody has to wear a suit. At least there’s a new Lamborghini. Only I don’t like it much. Lieberman does. Nerd.

Today at the Paris show Lexus revealed the IS250 Convertible. You know the drill for the segment: folding hardtop, two pretend rear seats, very high price. While I’m a fan of Lexus’s recent L-Finesse design styling (see: Lexus LS460), I think this is ugly and boring. It reminds me of the Ford Focus folding hardtop convertible, except that it’s twice the price and half as appealing. Seriously, I wasn’t expecting something with Italian design flair, or even French oddity. But couldn’t they have done better than this? It might be the least imaginative car to roll out of the Lexus design studio in years, and that’s like saying Sarah Palin is the most incompetent politician in America. The Lexus IS250 Convertible is coming to your local rich housewives’ parking lot early next year. Or a scintillating comparison test in which it comes in third place against the 328i convertible and upcoming Infiniti G37 convertible in, oh, say the March issue of Car and Driver. I’m twitching with excitement.

No, Honda isn’t immune from the sales tragedies of the month of September, declining 24 percent overall in contrast to September 2007. The Honda brand was down 23 percent, while the small Acura division dropped 30.4 percent. While Fit sales were up for Honda again (48 percent to 6,515), everything else was hurting. The Accord’s buyers skipped town to the tune of a 36.1 percent dive in sales, a stunning decrease of nearly 13,000 units. The Civic, which is probably cannibalizing some Accord sales (just as the Fit might be taking a little money out of the Civic’s pockets), dropped a relatively reasonable 12.8 percent versus last September. It should go without saying that the Odyssey, CR-V, Pilot, Ridgeline, and Element all saw huge numbers of sales evaporate, though the minivan had it worst with a 34 percentage point drop, declining from 16,464 last September to only 10,783 cars this month. Acura also took a beating, with huge declines for every single model they make. The usual volume models, the TL and MDX, fell 30 percent and 28.9 percent respectively. The RL and RDX sales imploded, while the TSX did fairly nicely at 2,144 units – a decrease of 16 percent – although considering the all-new TSX was introduced recently, this is somewhat less impressive. The bottom line is that even the American auto market’s golden boy can’t win all the time.