If this goofy-assed little car showed up at your premium brand’s doorstep and told you it was an unwanted orphan, would you let it in? And keep it as a foster child, or adopt it as your own? That’s the scenario Mercury found itself in with the Comet. And true to form, Mercury waffled.
Must make it harder, must make it harder…
Joe Chiaramonte nailed the Fiesta on the third guess. Or were the first two just comments? All right, you expert grillers, let’s see what you can cook up on this baby. Just make sure you clean up after yourself, because we want to keep this one bright and sparkly.
In the depths of the gloomy automotive winter of the late seventies, the Fiesta made a brief appearance that brought a ray of sunshine into our deprived existence. She was like that cute, skinny little German exchange student who appeared one day at High School, and dazzled us with her algebra, physics, gymnastics and fencing. The jocks didn’t know what to make of her, and their girl friends cast disdainful glances at her. But those of us who favored taut agility over big hips and padded vinyl tops fell hard for her. And when she suddenly disappeared just as mysteriously as she’d arrived, she left behind the kind of memories that last a lifetime.
You guys ripped the Handi-van clue apart on the first guess, by Dave Skinner. And I predicted it would take twelve guesses! I’ve got to keep reminding myself this is the Major League. Well, I’m going to (try to) crash your party this time. Have fun.
Meanwhile, after six months of Curbside Classics, how about a little customer feedback? Do you like them long, medium, short, or a mix? Is there too much detail and historical information or not enough? Prefer to see a particular brand or popular car (Mustang, etc.) done randomly or in chronological order? More virtual comparisons? Are you ok with the boring and mundane finds, or should I be more selective? Are trucks good? A fairly even spread of cars from the fifties through the eighties? Anything else I should know?
Regression to the mean. Lowest common denominator. Thinking inside the box. These over-used expressions are all-too often applied to Detroit iron. But which vehicle most fully lives down to them? Here it is: the crudest, simplest, most wretched-handling and least-safe vehicle made by the Big Three in the sixties. It’s a box with two cart axles, a motor and transmission, and useless brakes. Throw in a couple of milking stools, and you have yourself a Handi-Van.
Kudos to AthensSlim for calling out the Saturn on the first guess. I’m guessing it’ll take a bit longer for this one, like say, the twelfth guess. No, that’s not a clue. But here’s one: it’s half the name of a famous belt. Good luck.
Friends, we are gathered together to pay our last respects to a fallen brother. Saturn was the love child of Roger Smith and Hal Riney; one was the Chairman of GM, a manufacturer of cars; the other, an ad man extraordinaire, a manufacturer of emotions. Let us savor their own words as we remember the brand that was Saturn, starting with these from Roger: (Saturn will be)“a quantum leap ahead of the Japanese, including what they have coming in the future. In Saturn we have GM’s answer – the American answer – to the Japanese challenge. It’s the clean-sheet approach to producing small cars that in time will have historic implications…(Saturn is) the key to GM’s long-term competitiveness, survival, and success.”
Break out your magnifying glasses and guess tomorrow’s Curbside Classic!
We get accused a lot of being anti-diesel. In reality, most of us love driving them. Paying for them is another issue. VW has just announced pricing on the new 2010 Golf VI, and the diesel premium is…premium. As in $4500. Strictly speaking, that investment also buys you a slightly lowered suspension (cost to VW: $0), and a slightly better audio unit (cost to VW: $50?). Here are the numbers: 2 door gas (2.5, 170 hp, EPA: 22/30) starts at $17,490; 2 door TDI (2.0, 140 hp, EPA: 30/41) starts at $21,990. Annual fuel cost savings are $362 for the TDI. Maintenance and repair costs favor the gas engine. Zero to sixty is similar with either model, with the gas (7.8 seconds) edging out the diesel (8.6 seconds) by a nose. The question we have is why not bring over VW’s excellent new 1.6 liter TDI engine, which makes 105 hp, and can easily top 50 mpg. Do diesel drivers prefer lowered suspensions and high(er) performance, or maximum mileage and a lower price?
Bernie Madoff’s first bogus trade. Richard Nixon’s first fib. Charlie Parker’s first hit of heroin. What do they have in common with this perfectly harmless-looking Pontiac Ventura II? That first little giving in to temptation has a nasty way of turning into a big deadly habit, like GM’s badge engineering. All bad habits have a beginning, but the evidence typically is lost in the haze of history. Not GM’s. Before you sits the proof; the badge-engineering progenitor; the automotive equivalent of finding Humphrey Bogart’s first Lucky Strike butt laying at the curb.
I understand the idea of retro-inspired cars. Well, in theory anyway. But could someone explain why Mercedes would chose to crib the rear end of a 1998 Acura CL for their SLS AMG?
Jaguar and V12. Two of the most lyrical automotive icons ever. One stands for grace at speed, the other for speed with grace. The combination of the two offered the prospect of a marriage made in automotive heaven. Yet when they finally enmeshed, the result fell short of the potential envisioned by the marque’s match-maker and its loyal patrons. Yes, in those rare moments when the Jag V12’s stars were aligned , and its four carburetors synchronized, the results were heavenly. But in the final judgment, the V12 was a fall from grace, straight into automotive hell.
Careful! Double check your guess before hitting the submit button. If you really need some help with this one, there’s a couple buried in the text for last Thursday’s CC Clue.
Welcome to the Thursday edition of Curbside Classics. Tuesdays is for the big winners (and losers), the exceptional, the unexpected. Thursday will be for the more modest and prosaic finds. Any car a quarter century old or more still plying the streets of Eugene is worthy of our respect. Along with a helping of disdain, as needed. The 1959 Chevy Curbside Classic ignited lingering embers of the old Chevy vs. Ford (and Mopar) wars. My apologies to the younger readers who are probably bored to tears over this. I promise I’ve got something much newer and more voluptuous next Tuesday. But no less than geeber asked if a ’59 Ford could be the subject of the next CC. Be careful what you wish for, Fordophiles, because what I find sitting on the street is what you get. So here it is: a delectable Courier wagon. Now let the debate begin: was the ’59 Ford better looking than the Chevy?
Double your pleasure, double your fun…Curbside Classics is turning into a twice-a-week obsession. Are you going to have the time? How about the make and year of this car?
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