Speaking in Frankfurt, Fiatsler boss Sergio Marchionne warned the world that post-Cash for Clunkers American auto sales are a “disaster.” Like you didn’t see THAT one coming. Sergio reckons the industry benchmark—the Seasonally Adjusted Annual Rate (SAAR)—will fall below the “conservative” 9.5 million SAAR estimated for September. Folks, that’s after August’s 14.1 million number. “Even GM’s Fritz Henderson has thrown in the towel,” iStock Analyst reports, “saying that September will be a ‘very weak’ month.” Me, I’m with Sergio. The September numbers will be so bad that Michael Moore’s rendition of Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are a Changing” may even be on Bob Lutz’s iPod. Just kidding. But seriously, what now?
One thing’s for sure: they don’t BUY them. Exhibit A3. Sales of Audi’s premium compact are cold, cold, cold. In August, the German car company moved just 479 copies, bringing its eight-month year-to-date total to a paltry 2,295 units. Exhibit BMW. The 1-Series is a flop; just 914 examples moved off dealer lots in August, bringing their YTD total to 7,443.On the hand, MINI. In August, BMW’s British brand flogged 5,111 Coopers stateside, bringing their eight-month YTD total to 30,868 moved MINIs. Questions for the class: is that as good as it gets? Is the so-called small premium market saturated? And if you’re a dead car company walking trying to resurrect a dead brand walking, is it worth developing a new car for this niche market? GM’s film would have you believe that the “small premium” market is ascendant. If gas prices go through the roof . . . nah. As Ford said in one of its UK ads, “space is the ultimate luxury.” You don’t think Europeans buy small premium cars because they want to, do you?
Bloomberg reports that Toyota spent the last three years secretly testing lithium-ion batteries for its hybrid Prius, then rejected them as unsuitable. And they still don’t want to talk about it. “Toyota last month ended road tests of 126 Priuses in the U.S., Japan and Europe that began in 2006, Jana Hartline, a company spokeswoman said in an interview [with someone somewhere at some point]. Details of the program, in which the cars’ nickel metal hydride batteries were replaced with more expensive lithium models, weren’t released.” [Point of information: that’s Priora.] Bloomberg fails to make the obvious contrast with GM’s public trials (sans gas engine) and tribulations (say hello to my little bankruptcy) vis à vis its electric/gas plug-in hybrid Hail Mary, the . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . Volt. But they do kinda hint at it . . .
This is a sick way for the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) to “celebrate” its 50th anniversary, but we do love us some crash test video. Apparently, “the driver of the 1959 Chevrolet Bel Air would have been killed instantly while the 2009 Chevrolet Malibu’s driver would walk away with a minor knee injury.” As someone who suffers with that affliction (head fake Bob), I’d ask the IIHS to define “minor” and will henceforth avoid speeding to my local car show in a 1959 Bel Air. Meanwhile, note to the IIHS: in fifty years you couldn’t have added sound? Gary Numan’s Cars, anyway. [Thanks to DC Car Examiner for the link.]
So, you thought your $14,312,130,642 “investment” in New Chrysler bought you some accountability, seeing as it’s your tax money? Here’s your Frankfurt wake-up call from Uncle Sam’s appointed/anointed ChryCo CEO, via the Associated Press:
Marchionne said Wednesday that Chrysler’s new business plan won’t be released until November, and declined to discuss the forthcoming model lineup.
Huh? Buick has not only lost the plot, they’ve lost the title of the book. Automotive News [sub] reports that GM’s uh, something brand, is changing its tagline. Again. You may recall that Buick changed its tagline in June. As in just over three months ago. Sure, that tagline sucked. As we pointed out at the time, “Take a look at me now” is/was a po-faced echo of a Phil Collins song about unrequited love destroying the piner. Our Best and Brightest suggested alternatives, none of which included “The new breed of first class.” Buick’s choice manages the virtually impossible: it’s worse than the existing tagline.
I was completely prepared to leave this Bob Lutz’s CTS-V race thing to Jalopnik. And then Lutz went on the FastLane blog and said he’d welcome all comers: “One of the social media initiatives we’ve launched is a challenge with the Cadillac CTS-V, which we claim to be the fastest 4-dr production sedan in the world, and we have asked any potential challenger to meet us at Laguna Seca and race what you brung.” As the TV lawyers say, Maximum Bob opened the door. So I called Cadillac PR flack David Caldwell. Is this a Jalopnik-only deal? If so, so be it. “You know who I work for,” Caldwell said. Yes . . . “If Bob said he’d take all comers then he’ll take all comers.” Which means TTAC is in on the action, which will go down at Monticello (not Laguna Seca?) sometime in the first two weeks of October. Or not.
UPDATE: Hyundai PR’s talking to their CEO about racing MB in the Genesis. Jaguar’s pledged the XFR.
Got a heads-up from the PR Newswire re: Florida DUI Attorney John Musca. Mr. Musca wants you to know that he’s fighting for your (i.e., his clients’) constitutionally-guaranteed rights and freedoms. Musca’s press release trumpets the dismissal of a recent DUI case, where a careful reading of the law saved his client’s pickled bacon. NB: if the Florida po-po let you go after three minutes, remember: even though you’ve only got one minute to save the world, please observe all posted speed limits.
The state of Florida concedes that DUI checkpoints are constitutional and valid. The Supreme Court acknowledges that DUI checkpoints do in fact constitute a “seizure” relative to the Fourth Amendment yet are constitutionally acceptable with evident effectiveness and minimal intrusion. Hence the three minute rule where every vehicle that enters a designated checkpoint site cannot be detained in traffic for more than three minutes. In the event of exceeding the three minute time allowed, the officer in charge must temporarily suspend the diversion of vehicles into the checkpoint lanes and begin a systematic selection of vehicles to be stopped at the discretion of the checkpoint commander. Vehicles will then proceed back into the checkpoint lanes when the period becomes less than three minutes.
The New York Times is running an Op Ed supporting Senator Charles Schumer’s anti-texting legislation. The Alert Driver’s Act of 2009 would compel states to enact anti-texting laws—or face the loss of 25 percent of their federally-supplied highway funding. The Gray Lady starts as it means to finish: misrepresenting the truth. “A leading road safety group, the Governors Highway Safety Association, has reversed field and announced its support for state laws banning drivers from sending and receiving text messages.” No, yes and kinda. GHSA Executive Director Barbara Hasha told TTAC that the organization hadn’t reversed itself. Before now, they simply “weren’t ready to endorse” the bill. And then they read the study cited by the NYT: a July 2009 Virginia Tech Transportation Institute report claiming truckers are “23 times more likely to cause a crash or near-crash than a nontexting trucker.” Why truckers? Because the stats are 10 times higher than those for car drivers. (How many truckers text vs. car drivers?) And while the GHSA is pro anti-texting laws, they are NOT in favor of Schumer’s threat to remove federal funding.
What’s it with Ford and sliding doors? After getting its butt kicked by every minivan manufacturer known to man (excepting GM and including a descendant Chrysler), the Blue Oval Boyz got out of the minivan biz. Ford then got it into their head that there’s a huge swath of American consumers who want a minivan, but won’t buy it because it’s a minivan. “Sliding doors carry a stigma, which is why the minivan has fallen” out of favor with some US buyers, Ford group vice president of global product development Derrick Kuzak told Automotive News [sub]. Instead of selling these minivan refugees an existing SUV or CUV, Dearborn’s darlings spent billions developing a car that looks like something between a scaled-up MINI Clubman and a funeral hearse (a.k.a. the Flex). Wrong answer. And just in case that answer wasn’t wrong enough, Ford’s bringing over the C-Max. It’s a seven passenger vehicle—with hidden sliding doors! So it’s not a minivan. It’s not a wagon. It’s not a Flex (whatever that is). It’s a . . . “multi-activity vehicle.”
GM’s constant reference to the “perception gap” is, without doubt, the most galling thing about the company. Despite sucking-up over $62 billion in taxpayer money, the nationalized automaker continues to insist there’s nothing wrong with our products. Oh no, American-consumers are a bunch of [Jap-loving] idiots. If if they would just open their minds they’d see that they’re idiots. And buy our cars. And save the company. And keep Mexicans Americans employed. And get their taxes back. Now, adding insult to insult, they’re launching a taxpayer-funded ad campaign based on that premise: “May the Best Car Win.” Note to New GM: it HAS been winning. Ipso ’effing facto. Now LEAVE IT ALONE. But oh no. In fact, the car Czar who drove GM into the dirt is flooring it, betting the company’s future on this series of comparison ads. And he’s got a new name for “the perception gap” not because he understands the problem but because he’s bored with it.
60 Day Satisfaction Guarantee Dealer Participation Agreement
On Monday, September 14, 2009, GM will begin to offer a national 60 Day Satisfaction Guarantee program to eligible customers.The Program will be announced initially through November 30, 2009. As a dealer, your full participation in this program is absolutely critical to the Program’s success.The terms and conditions of your participation in the program are fully explained below.We urge you to participate in this exciting Program designed to help drive traffic and build confidence in you and in your products.Starting on September 11, 2009, dealers can go to www.gmprograminfo.com to opt-out of this program.Click on the “GM 60 Day Guarantee Program” button, and then click on the “I Decline Participation” button at the bottom of the page. If you do not opt out of this Program by the close of business Tuesday September 15, 2009, you are participating under the terms and conditions described below.
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