Automotive News [AN, sub] reports that “Growing political interest in another federal spending package to stimulate the U.S. economy is opening the door to more government aid to the auto industry.” Excellent! I recommend Uncle Sam buy as much Toyota stock as possible. And while we await more details on this, the real bailout, it’s nice to see AN join the journalistic march towards quoting anonymous sources as much as humanly possible. “Automakers and perhaps suppliers would have more flexibility in using the new money than they do with retooling loans that have been approved but not issued, industry officials say.” Who? Anyway, we all know where the United Auto Workers (UAW) stands on federal teat sucking– although they seem to want us to believe that their enthusiasm is a recent development. “Now we’re looking at the effect of a recession and depressing sales overall and what that does to the industry,” said Alan Reuther, the UAW’s legislative director. The next round of funding, rather than being tied to fuel economy, ‘would just be flat out in order to survive an extended recession,’ Reuther told Automotive News this week.” This week? What’s the hurry with revealing the info? So guess what Ford (a.k.a. the last domestic standing in waiting) thinks of the idea…

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What with all this End of Days news swirling around the autoblogsphere, you’d kinda hope that Detroit News columnist John McCormick could find something useful to say about the plight of his hometown heroes. And he does– if you’re a Big 2.8 auto exec. Yes, McCormick’s column inches are devoted to a simple message: buy a Chevy Traverse, Dodge Journey or Ford Flex! If it wasn’t so tragic, Big Mac’s lead could be considered comedy gold. “It seems like Detroit’s automakers can’t get an even break. Just as General Motors, Ford and Chrysler are launching vehicles better tuned to the needs of American consumers slammed by high fuel prices and a soft economy, the world plunges into a massive financial crisis. Now with mounting monetary pressures, the very existence of some automakers is in question. Meanwhile, consumers, even if they are in the mood to buy a vehicle, struggle to obtain financing because of the interbank credit freeze. It’s all very troubling, yet at the same time for those plucky enough to head to dealer showrooms, the Big Three have some excellent vehicles in their lineups and more on the way. And while the present slump in the price of oil should not be seen as a permanent trend, today’s relatively cheaper gas does bring certain larger vehicles back into contention. Consider, too, that Detroit-area dealers are probably more eager than ever to work with buyers to complete a sale.”

Now tell us something we don’t know. “Such an investment would be along the lines of Warren Buffett’s recent purchases of minority stakes in General Electric and Goldman Sachs, The Financial Times reports. “While private investors are searching for ways to deploy capital through minority investments, many such deals, including the capital infusion by TPG into Washington Mutual, have struggled or failed.” In other words, good luck with that. “One banker questioned GM’s chances of finding an outside investor. ‘I just don’t think most private equity guys are that enamoured of the auto industry and I don’t know how you could try to secure it in some way.'” And check this: GM’s friendly neighborhood automotive analyst, JPMorgan’s Himanshu Patel, says sliding sales in North America and Europe make 2009 “uniquely painful” for the Big 2.8. “Mr Patel expects GM’s cash outflow to reach $12.4bn next year compared with his earlier estimate of $7.9bn. Such a drain implies that GM will breach the mid-point of its minimum required cash reserves of $11bn-$14bn by mid-2009.”

We’ve just received a press release from GM announcing that it’s “exploring a potential sale” of aftermarket parts maker ACDelco. Apparently, “a sale is expected to promote more rapid growth of ACDelco globally.” The move is painted as a logical outgrowth of “a number of initiatives to bolster [GM’s] liquidity position by approximately $15 billion through year-end 2009, including the sale of assets which are expected to generate approximately $2-4 billion of liquidity.” In other words, we told you we were throwing furniture on the fire, and there you go. Equally unsurprising, GM hasn’t revealed the amount of money it wants for ACDelco. And GM is, once again, paying Merrill Lynch to do the dirty work. You may remember that Merrill arranged GM’s billion dollar payoff to FIAT for NOT buying the Italian automaker, and then bought GM’s abandoned shares for pennies on the dollar. If not, you should.

Pistonheads paints actor Daniel Craig’s pass on a free Aston (any Aston) as some sort of prima donna-ish behaviour. After all, A FREE BLOODY ASTON, MATE! “The actor reckons it doesn’t make sense to drive an Aston in London – which seems rather a churlish excuse considering Aston has reportedly given him a set of keys to its toy cupboard. ‘I could drive faster and more furiously on the track than anywhere on the road. I live in London and it doesn’t make sense to drive an Aston Martin there. I’ve nowhere to park it,’ Craig recently told reporters. Has our Mr Bond lost his mojo, we wonder?” Oh please. As our Adrian Imonti wrote, “Driving in London just for fun is as sensible as rollerblading on the autobahn.” And as I pointed out in March, London now charges £120 ($202) for a parking ticket. That’s if you don’t get towed. And don’t forget the congestion charge. Or insurance cover. Or the cost of parking. And road tax. Yes, yes, Craig can afford all that. But the hassles are immense, from actually finding a space to remembering to pay for everything. And then’s there’s the traffic itself. It’s much quicker to walk, hop in a limo or take a taxi (God forbid a celeb should ride the Tube). A free moped. Now that would be a different story.

The former PR spinmeister currently writing under the Autoextremist moniker has long been one of Detroit’s most fervent not to say (’cause that would be rude) ardent supporters. No more. Peter DeLorenzo has put down his pom-poms and finally faced the truth about both GM and Chrysler. “GM’s foray into the idea of a Chrysler takeover exposed that company’s dire situation for all to see. Burning through cash at a prodigious rate – a little more than $1 billion per month according to estimates – GM’s search for crucial financing is getting beyond desperate at this point, and now everyone knows it… GM’s situation grows more precarious by the moment, and if they don’t make a deal for that much-needed infusion of cash soon – in the next 12 months, preferably less – then we could be contemplating the unthinkable. And that means not only the end of GM’s 100-year reign as the largest American car company and one of America’s historical industrial touchstones, but the end of General Motors, period.” As for Chrysler…

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As we’ve just reported, The Detroit News seems to have abandoned the normal standards of reporting. In j-School ethics world– informed as it is by the movie All The President’s Men— if you can’t confirm a story with two independent sources, you either don’t run it or you clearly identify the info as unverified. As in “according to unconfirmed anonymous sources,” presenting the resulting material as speculation. To avoid the semantic hoops, TTAC established the Wild Ass Rumor (WAR) category. With this story on Kirk Kerkorian’s Ford stock sell-a-thon, we’re deploying WAR on the DetN’s behalf. “Billionaire investor Kirk Kerkorian’s decision to sell off his stake in Ford Motor Co. may have been precipitated by a series of high-profile departures from the struggling automaker that began less than two weeks ago with the abrupt resignation of Chief Financial Officer Don Leclair. Since then, two of Ford’s most respected board members also have tendered their resignations. Ford says the events are unrelated, but a source close to Ford’s largest private shareholder told The Detroit News that Kerkorian doubts that and is concerned that the departures signal trouble at the top of the nation’s second largest auto company.” Trouble at Ford? NO WAY! And there’s no reason Kirk would want to pin the blame for his $600m or so loss on someone else, is there? More meshugas after the jump.

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We’ve been largely ignoring this possibility because, well, the GM – Chrysler merger thing is a much more appealing possibility, in that “how nuts do you have to be to be a top executive for a domestic car company” kinda way. But now that it’s OK to write news reports based entirely on anonymous sources, well, why not Chrysler – Nissan? I mean, Chrysler – Nissan – Renault? I mean, Carlos “The Jackal” Ghosn?  And The Detroit News is there! “The Renault-Nissan alliance is proposing to acquire around 20 percent of Chrysler LLC and bring the Auburn Hills automaker into the French-Japanese automotive partnership, according to sources familiar with the situation… Sources familiar with the discussions said Carlos Ghosn, CEO of both Renault SA and Nissan Motor Co., sent a proposal in recent days that included revisions to a draft agreement prepared by Cerberus… The sources said Tokyo-based Nissan would acquire the stake because it has cash on hand, whereas Renault now has debts of more than $5 billion.” So, which company does Cerberus favor to gut Chrysler like a fish? Go ahead and jump.

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JP Morgan Chase (JPMC) owns enough Chrysler paper to line the inside of the New Orlean Superdome. Not to mention a stake in GM. Hey! You don’t think… yes we do. And the fact that automotive analyst Himanshu Patel works for JPMC is more than slightly relevant when it comes to considering his opinions on said merger. Only not to Bloomberg’s Hyman, who presents his “Hell yes!” take on the merger without once mentioning the connection. “By saving Chrysler from a liquidity even, GM may also be able to get itself much needed secured bank financing,” the graphic reads. But wait, that’s not all! Patel also reckons the combined company would have more leverage over the United Auto Workers (they’re gonna need it). “Inicidentally” the news reader concludes, “Patel is the only one of the analysts who covers General Motors who has a buy rating on the stock.” Gee, I wonder why…

True dat. We’re looking for one of our Best and Brightest to write 800-word automotive videogame reviews for TTAC. We’ll pay $100 per published piece plus free videogames (disclaimed at the bottom of the review, of course). Send your magnum opus (within the body of an email) to robert.farago@thetruthaboutcars.com with SAMPLE REVIEW in the subject bar. Rate the game from one to five stars and include a one sentence summation. Again, the review must be exactly 800 words (not including title, star ratings and summation sentence). Remember: ‘tude counts. Oh, and Midnight Club: Los Angeles is out today. Here’s a review style you shouldn’t copy, from Streetfire: “I have to say that from what I’ve seen so far in the last 11 hours it is pretty impressive. It came as no surprise that the party was held in the heart of Hollywood at the Virgin Megastore and featured a performance by the Eagles of Death Metal. I’m personally a big fan of the fact that the game has a 97 song track list with music of all types, and a large number from the SoCal area. Being from Los Angeles, it’s pretty cool to be playing a badass car game that let’s me drive through the streets of Hollywood doing all of the things I WISH I could get away.” With. Although that’s one way to avoid ending a sentence with a preposition…

Midnight Club: Los Angeles Trailer 4

So GM had a confab for its dealers in Motown. As not all 38,743 store owners could attend this “it’s always darkest before the federal bailout” session, some bright spark in GM PR decided to video the event for those dealers who couldn’t make it (geographically-speaking). Bloomberg secured the tapes, and hesitates not a bit in sharing the low-down on the hoe-down with its readers, nor we with ours. “We will continue to take the tough but necessary actions to position the company, and you, for future success,” Troy Clarke, GM’s president for North America told the assembled throngs. “While no one can say exactly what the future is going to bring, you can be sure of this: General Motors is here to stay.” And just in case that wasn’t enough to reassure the faint-hearted amongst them… “We are evaluating all of our options all the time,” Clarke told the dealers. Marketing Mark LaNeve added his exhortations. “The company and its dealers need to find ways to increase profit and market share for GM’s cars and car-based SUVs, LaNeve said, without providing specifics. I’ll let you decide which of these bon mots qualifies for TTAC’s Quote of the Day.

Awesome Cop Work in Europe!

Remember when the Chevrolet Malibu was the Next Big Thing? Or what about the Cobalt, GM’s small car superstar? You know: “we can’t build these cars fast enough!” Well, guess what? They can. USA Today reports that union officials at Orion Township (MI, Malibu/G6) and Lordstown (OH, Cobalt/G5) reports The General has banned overtime at both factories. Maybe more. What’s unscheduled overtime, you ask? “Unscheduled overtime generally is used when a worker calls in sick. An employee who is on duty at the time usually works half the shift for the sick employee, and another worker is called in early to work the other half. The union officials were unsure how the company would fill assembly line positions for those who are ill.” Meanwhile, shhhh! “Officially we haven’t told employees anything,” GM spinmeister Tony Sapienza told the former McPaper. “As we weather very difficult economic conditions, we’re looking at a variety of ways to be as efficient as possible while balancing the needs of the market for our products.” Translation: Somebody stop me! We’re buring through a billion bucks a month. “Several analysts predict that GM will burn up so much cash that it will reach its minimum operating cash level of $14 billion sometime next year.” Just in case you haven’t been paying attention.