Tesla Motors Chairman Elon Musk begins his NewsHour interview by putting the hate on hydrogen. "If fuel cells were good, don't think you'd see them somewhere, like maybe in a laptop or a cell phone or a $200 million military satellite maybe? And yet, where do you see them?" Not that the majority of Tesla's deposit bestowing proto-customers have seen their Roadsters. Anyway, NewsHour asks, what's so special about a laptop-powered car anyway? "It's combining those little cans of chemicals," Musk educates. "A very large number of them, and making it safe and making it reliable and making it last a long time, and those are very difficult things and nobody's succeeded in doing that except Tesla." Musk quickly deflects attention to "model two," a $59k luxury sports sedan that's "just going to be awesome." Musk then drops the bomb in our headline, and takes a shot at TTAC. "There are always skeptics and naysayers, but I think the smart money's on us." (Quick! Get SpongeBob on the line. Is it opposite day?). There's lots more BS ("we actually expect to have eventually millions of cars on the road"). Suffice it to say, Musk's inquisitor eventually guzzles the Kool-Aid. "SPENCER MICHELS: You could change the world. ELON MUSK: We need to change the world. There's no choice." Next up: Musk walks on water. Or is that hydrogen?

While you contemplate the full misery that this sad state of affairs inflicts upon the average UK motorist, eating into what's laughing called their after-tax income, consider this factoid. At various times in the last three years, the UK was an oil exporter. So why the masochism at the pump? Hey, you try running a socialist country– whose population's roughly equal to California and Texas combined– on just £552b per year. The bottom line: taxes. Pistonheads reports that "Duty on both petrol and diesel is now 50.3p a litre – around 40% of the total cost at the pumps. The duty on champagne is said to be £1.87 a bottle, which means that on a £20 bottle the duty makes up roughly less than 10%…. Polls have shown that more than half the population now blame the Government for the spiralling cost of fuel." So what's a government faced with disgruntled (disgruntled I tell you) motorists to do? Raise the fuel duty by .2p per [imperial] gallon. PH commentator 109 Bob shows how cynical UK subjects have become. "What bloody difference will it make by scrapping the 2p increase that is planned. What difference would it make if 10p was to be taken off duty, absolutely no difference what so ever to me our you. The decrease in price would just get swallowed up & prices will continue to increase." Yes they're mad as Hell and they're gonna take it some more. 

Justin: prepare to be amazed. It works! Twice! In a row!

"There have been many articles about forced labor in Brazil and also ecological issues, deforestation of the rain forest, local pollution," says Anders Fredikson, vice-president at Swedish ethanol importer Sekab. "We are in the business and know many are exaggerated, some are false." Of course, that also means that some of the claims about Brazilian ethanol production are true. But you can't blame Fredrikson for playing with weasel words. The guy helped broker a deal to import 115 million liters of anhydrous ethanol from South America that "adheres to certain social and environmental standards." OK, we're listening. "Mills must use at least 30 percent mechanized harvesting today and increase this to 100 percent by 2014. An independent international company will audit all the groups production units twice a year." Wow! Twice a year! That's, what, once more than once a year. And it's not like these companies might attempt to hide any transgressions in an attempt to, say, save tens of millions of dollars in capital expenditure. The UK's Guardian newspaper isn't nearly so cynical. "At least 10 groups around the world are currently discussing sustainability standards for ethanol and a certification criteria that could be adopted worldwide but no decision has been taken yet about this. Brazil's industry expects to meet part of the world's demand for alternative fuels in the coming years and is preparing to address growing concerns about environment and social concerns related to ethanol production." Ready, set… ethics!

The Easton, Pennsylvania City Council is set to pass a town ordinance that would seize the cars of "johns" cruising through their town looking for prostitutes. The Morning Call reports that the new law would apply to any vehicle used ''to solicit prostitution or to engage in an act of prostitution or to solicit or engage in sexual activity.'' We're not talking about impounding (so to speak); the ordinance would allow the city to keep or sell the confiscated vehicles. Councilwoman Elinor Warner introduced the ordinance, which was last mooted a decade previous. She has no doubts that the law will scare off the mobile sex trade that's been plaguing the city for years. In an unfortunate choice of words, she claimed it would attack the demand side of the equation and ''spread the love around, and make it hard on the johns as well.'' Warner's City Council colleagues have no problem with silly little things like constitutionality. Councilman Roger Ruggles told the paper that state law already allows police to seize vehicles used in drug deals. ''I don't see much of a difference." I wonder what kind of car he drives…

C'mon, let's face reality here. If you were a foreign automaker aspiring to sell your products in the U.S., there are a few facts that should stop you dead in your tracks. 1) North America is the world's most competitive automotive market. There's a reason The Big 2.8 are fighting for their survival and it's not because they're the only kids on the block 2) You couldn't imagine a worse time to be selling cars in the U.S. The new vehicle market is in chaos. And it's about to get worse. When Chrysler, Ford and/or GM files for C11, there will be a cataclysmic and unpredictable market upheaval. 3) If there's one car brand you don't want to bring to the U.S. it's FIAT. I know people who've never SEEN a FIAT, who weren't BORN when FIAT sold cars in the U.S., who know that the Italian brand is famous for rust, mechanical failure and parts unavailability. You'd be better off pulling a Lexus and creating an entirely new brand; that cane won't hunt. Now, The Detroit Free Press' Mark Phelan has a corner (stay in that corner and don't come out until you have a story!), in which he reports "Italy's Alfa Romeo and Fiat cars are on the verge of returning to the United States, Fiat Group CEO Sergio Marchionne told the Automotive News Europe Congress." Yes, "The Fiat Group, which owns Alfa Romeo — and the Ferrari, Maserati, Fiat, Lancia and Abarth brands — plans to relaunch Alfa in America next year and may also sell the stylish Fiat 500 subcompact here." Oh, Alfa. That's alright then. Isn't it? 

I promise we'll post something quirky to lighten the mood later, but I feel compelled (compelled I tell you) to mention that Detroit's meltdown is finally getting the coverage it deserves. Detroit News' columnist Daniel Howes– he of the jump down turnaround better days ahead– has just used the "b" word in his latest rant, finally admitting that "Big three need cash fast" (never mind a competitive small car or ten). The Detroit Free Press is also beginning to wake up and smell the ashes. While I'm pleased that the Motown print media is finally growing a pair, I am astonished that these two august institutions have failed to fully and persistently chronicle the human cost of The Big 2.8's inexorable decline. Jim Dollinger (a.k.a. Buickman) tells me that Flint is even more like a ghost town these days, with business drying-up and blowing away. Where are the papers' reports on the lives disrupted by Detroit's downsizing? While we await these tales of woe from the sharp end– which will arrive in force the moment Chrysler files– we'd appreciate any local reports from our Best and Brightest. 

From unsinkable to unthinkable. But there it is; stock picking guru Jim Cramer says GM is headed for Chapter 11. Yes, The General "joins the list of unthinkables, the ones that may not be able to make it with its current structure. The ones that basically need to be Chapter 11'd to save the business from dying." In his own inimitable style, Cramer reduces the arguments against GM's survival down to its essentials. "GM does not have enough cars in demand that it can make a profit on, and it has way too many cars and trucks that aren't in demand to do anything but lose billions of dollars, despite the decline in headcount and costs per car. It feels like the Citigroup of the autos. Without the deposit base." But seriously folks, Cramer's rant also fingers Ford for extinction. Of course, this is the same Jim Cramer who said the following in his 10-25-06 TV show: "GM – We recommended it at $18; it goes to $36. We say take a little schnitzel. It's now pulled back to $34. It's going to get to $40, but it's going to meander. I like F. I like GM." And this in February of this year: "I know there's risk to GM. But if you want to tell me that I am being reckless recommending this small-cap stock with the biggest share in the world, then I might as well just recommend that there's no real way to make money in the market." Never mind. When telegenic mainstream media mavens tell the average Joe to sell his stock and run for the hills, you can bet the big investors are already sunning themselves in the Hamptons. 

Forbes' columnist Jerry Flint is at it again. This time 'round he's saying what he said last time 'round: the feds need to give Detroit a holiday from fuel economy and safety regs. While I approve of recycling in general, recycling the General's spin strikes me as a particularly inadvisable endeavor. By the same token, defending GM's management seems, well, indefensible. At first, at last, Flint seems to come to terms with GM suits' epic incompetence: "The record is not good. Since 1992, GM's U.S. market share has fallen steadily–from 34% that year to 19% in May. Many of GM's leading executives are from the finance side of the business, but the financial failures are numerous… What is more amazing is that GM management has survived relatively little criticism, as far as I can tell, from its board of directors or the press." The press being… Jerry Flint? Roger [and me] that. "I know many terrific GM executives, starting with Vice Chairman Robert Lutz, who are doing an outstanding job. The problem is that GM is running out of money and time. The decisions it makes over the next few quarters could be crucial to its survival. I worry whether GM has enough of the right leaders to steer the company through this crisis." File this one under too little, too late, too disconnected from reality to be believed.  

One of the guys who delivers– well, delivered– press cars to my humble abode related his "normal" phone conversation with the PR folk. "I know the guy comes off like an asshole. Talk to him. Meet him. He's a sweetheart." Yes, well, there's a reason I'm in a tiny office on top of a house listening to the sound of strimmers echoing through suburban surrounds, and it's not because I mastered The 48 Laws of Power. Or basic social skills. Still, I can be charming when I need to be. OK, I can shut up for about ten minutes. Just. Now I'm not saying I'm going to venture south for this Big Apple get together with TTAC Road Test Editor Captain Mike and contributor/podcaster Justin Berkowitz. But if I am, I promise not to make a fool of myself– or at least drink enough so I don't remember it. But there's definitely going to be a brace of Bentleys in the barrio for your dining and dancing pleasure. RSVP below. Or just show up. Enjoy!

The details: Thursday, June 26, 7PM to whenever. Peter McManus Cafe (it's a pub, of course) on 152 7th Ave at 19th st. Close to subways: 1, 2, 3, A, C, E, F, V, L Google maps link. 

Several of TTAC's Best and Brightest sent us links to today's Wall Street Journal article "GM Slates Sweeping Rebates As Toyota Closes In on No. 1." That's bad news, but it's not new news– in these parts anyway. The real reason so many of our readers sent the tip is buried in the body copy of the story. "The cost of insuring against a default in GM's bonds has soared to a high in recent weeks as fears of a bankruptcy-court filing have grown. An investor who wants to buy credit protection on $10 million in GM's bonds for five years currently has to pay $2.8 million upfront and $500,000 annually for that insurance, through what are called credit-default swaps. A year ago, that protection cost only $400,000 annually, with no upfront cost, according to Credit Derivatives Research LLC. Based on market prices, debt investors currently see more than a 70% chance that GM will default on its obligations sometime in the next five years, said Boaz Weinstein, co-head of credit trading at Deutsche Bank AG." The really worrying part? "A spokesman for GM said it has sufficient liquidity for 2008. He declined to comment on 2009." Saepe ne utile quidem est scire quid futurum sit.  

The other day, we caught– but didn't have time to blog– a story about golf cart safety from the Associated Press. "The Ohio report, published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, said about 148,000 people have been treated for injuries related to golf carts since 1990. The UAB [University of Alabama] found there were some 48,255 golf-cart related injuries between 2002 and 2005 alone, or an average of about 1,000 each month." Bone fractures and head injuries were among the most common injuries. And, here's the kicker: "About half of the injuries occurred on golf courses or in other sports venues, such as football stadiums. The rest were on streets or residential property." So when I read an article in this morning's Detroit News about an entrepreneur hawking golf carts to beat gas prices, I was sure they'd mention the potentially lethal downside. Nope. "The cart, he said, is not only cheaper but fun to drive too. Now he's making plans to furnish similarly "pimped out" carts to others who want to cut their gasoline bills. Auld is working with a golf cart manufacturer to make and sell the street-legal vehicles to the public, starting next month." Donorcarts? [Note to Jennifer Youssef: Google is your friend.]

The Better World Club differentiates itself from other roadside/travel services by dint of its "dedication to preserve the environment." We're talking discounts on hybrid rentals and green hotels/eco-travel; the nation's only bicycle roadside assistance ("service for you and your bicycle up to 30 miles annually with a maximum of two service calls per covered member, per year"), free Carbon Credits with auto insurance, one percent of revenues (gross? net?) donated to environmental cleanup/advocacy and "a unique policy agenda includes supporting state attempts to regulate autos to reduce greenhouse gases." And just in case that isn't politically correct enough– and I'm thinking it is– Better World is now proud to offer married gay couples free membership. "We want to congratulate all the same-sex partners who are taking the big step," says Mitchell Rofsky, BWC President. "We didn't think you'd ever get married!" Don't worry if you're a gay couple in a state without gay marriage, or a breeder. BWC will "even" offer opposite-sex couples the same wedding present. "Gay marriage is good for everyone, so we're including all the June brides… grooms… spouses… whatever!" says Rofsky. In other words, BWC's using gay marriage to generate a fundamentally generic press release to lure media coverage. Mission accomplished. 

Earlier today, General Motors announced a "temporary" return to zero percent financing. It’s a clear, unavoidable sign that the automaker’s June sales slump is, as predicted, cataclysmic. Staring down the black hole begun on Black Tuesday, GM had to do something, anything to move the metal. And yet, at the same time, GM also revealed it’s raising its prices by 3.5 percent across the board. This second piece of news is equal parts bizarre and revealing. In essence, in the final hand of the poker game for its existence, GM has just doubled down. And now it’s Toyota’s bet. Here’s the thinking…