Detroit's not flying the white flag just yet, but you can hear the unmistakable sounds of unfurling. Post Black Tuesday, GM CEO Rick Wagoner set about painting General Motors as a victim of unforeseeable circumstances; the switch from truck to car sales was faster than "anyone" could imagine. Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli simply said everything's fine– a sure sign that nothing is. And earlier today, Ford President Mark Fields pleaded for government intervention to protect/create a domestic electric vehicle battery industry. Clearly, finally, The Big 2.8 are thinking ahead. To government bailouts.

When GM's FastLane blog was first unleashed on suspecting surfers, we dismissed it as a PR exercise without, well, balls. PR puff pieces accompanied by camp followers' comments made it an exceedingly anodyne place to spend one's surfing time. Well it seems that some of the site's backwaters are getting pretty rough. KixStart drew our attention to an old post (February) about the Chevrolet Cobalt— a car whose excellence escapes just about anyone who's ever driven a Honda Civic. It starts with "Charlie" sticking it to the Cobalt vs. the Corolla but good. GM Powertrain's Dave Lancaster answers by ignoring all complaints (mpg, weight, speed) except Charlie's kvetch about the Cobalt's need for premium go-juice (recommended not required). It's the usual prevarication, but the comments includes a nightmare Cobalt customer non-satisfaction story, posted today. The tale ends with "I have vowed never to own or recommend a GM product again." Heady stuff. But is GM listening? And if they are, would they have deleted this comment? Will they? Over to you, Christopher Barger…

A dealer reports: "Ford just re-released 'Employee Pricing' on their Ford Trucks (plus up to $3500 cash back). GM just released up to $4000 additional owner loyalty bonus cash on their trucks and SUVs (in addition to the up to $2000 already on the hood). Normally, these incentives give the dealer enough cash to throw at trade-ins to at least make a deal possible. Not profitable. And not painless for the customer. Merely do-able. Well, it ain't enough. In our meetings with manufacturer marketing teams and dealer advisory committees (where the smell of fear is palpable), the stories from the field are apocalyptic. One salesman stood up. 'I had a customer with a two-year-old Expedition. Crazily-enough, he wanted a new F-150. I tried everything, every trick in the book, and I couldn't put a deal together. And he was my BROTHER!' (Read: I was taking a loss, he was taking a loss, and the numbers were cutting us both so bad we couldn't deal). Another meeting, another dealer. 'I brought a year-old GMC Denali to auction. Priced it at rough wholesale book, minus seven grand. I was prepared to accept any offer up to 10 grand behind rough wholesale book. I was taking to take a tremendous beating to unload it. And it didn't sell. Didn't get an offer of any kind.' (Read: You can't give 'em away. Wait; you cannot PAY people to take them.) Now that the wealthy (who can afford the beating) and the quick-movers (who have already glutted the market) are in their Civics, Camrys and Accords; consumers in full-size trucks and SUVs are pretty much owners-for-life. And dealers, who must move new metal, can't do anything to help them. Not even if it's their brother."

That's the headline on the press release sent by EPIC, the Ethanol Promotion and Information Council. Apparently, "Motorists are frustrated and angry about high gas prices. Everyone is feeling the pinch at the pump, which really underscores our need for biofuels," claims Toni Nuernberg, EPIC's exec director. "As gas prices continue to skyrocket, we must continue the push for the only current transportation energy option we have today-biofuels." Yes, well, by their own admission, EPIC's Royal "we" represents little more than the ethanol industry and wishful thinking. In a not-so-epic EPIC survey on gas prices, only 11 percent of 1004 online (opt in) respondents said they were "taking action to use and support [emphasis added] non-oil based energy." Some 47 percent they'd "like to" and a whopping 43 percent "no, I have not considered this." Anyway, I called Robert White, EPIC's Deputy Director, to ask how soaring gas prices worked in his members' favor. I was surprised to discover EPIC disagrees with the AAA; E85 is cheaper than regular gas! But wait, there's more…

We've finally removed the broken page view counter. The numbers we've been displaying for the last week or so have been completely misleading. We've been getting hundreds of page views where you've been seeing dozens, and thousands where you've seen hundreds. In sum, we're still bumping along at 580k uniques and 1.8m page views per month. Of course, I'd like to grow the site beyond this glass ceiling, but not crashing has been our number one priority. Not that I'm fucking complaining. Every single day, TTAC gets new registrations. Not many, but some. Every one is precious: a testimony to the fact that we're doing something right. Regardless of the numbers, our job to keep the Best and Brightest well supplied with new material, regardless of technical setbacks or disappearing features. (We're still working on restoring TrueDelta pricing and specifications, and we know the comment edit button's screwed for some of you.) At the end of the proverbial day, it's time for a nice bottle of Coppola's finest chardonnay. And while I'm drinking [some of] it, I know that I'm privileged to chronicle these amazing times in the automotive industry. And get paid for it, no less. I will do whatever I can to get this house in order. Meanwhile, thanks to our crack (as in expert) technical team and to you, for your patience.

Your faithful correspondent was in the UK in September 2000, during a truckers' strike that literally crippled the country. It was a scary ass reminder of the U.S. fuel shortages during the 70s Arab Oil Embargo, complete with fist-fights and long lines of cars that had run out of gas waiting for gas. It looks like UK is headed for more of the same, as 641 tanker drivers who supply 10 percent of UK petrol stations are set to strike over wages at Friday at 6am. The Times reports that the truckers are engaged in "last-ditch" talks with their employers. Meanwhile, concerns are mounting (as they say) that other fuel-price-beleaguered groups (e.g. farmers) could join a blockade of refineries and other distribution points. In a move of epic imbecility, the UK government has advised the general public not to panic– an advisory that's already set off panic pewtrol buying. There's a big difference this time 'round: after 2000, the government created an emergency plan to deal with the threat, including a significant police/military response. Unless, the strike is averted, and maybe even if it isn't, it's clear there'll be tears before bedtime. 

"Chrysler LLC reduced its number of U.S. dealerships by 196 in the past year and increased the percentage of outlets selling all of its brands, as the automaker tries to create a stronger sales network." That's one way to look at it. The alternative theory– that the "reduced" dealers simply went belly-up– doesn't get a look in from Bloomberg. Reading between the lines… "The pace of consolidation may be quickening as falling real estate values and declining auto sales convince more of the Auburn Hills, Michigan-based company's dealers to sell," ChryCo executive vice president of sales for North America Landry told Bloomies. It would be interesting to know to whom these dealers sold. Meanwhile, the ailing American automaker claims 3,488 outlets at the end of May, a decline of 5.3 percent from a year earlier. So what of Project Genesis, Chrysler's attempt to consolidate its dealers into tri-branded stores? The hard numbers are notable by their absence. But we do get anecdotal evidence of the plan's progress. "John Gunning, owner of Manassas Dodge in Manassas, Virginia, said many Chrysler dealers in his area can't afford the risk of borrowing money to buy another franchise and build a new dealership as auto sales decline." Hey! Maybe Chrysler could buy-out the dealers? Uh, maybe not.

Now that Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli has recovered from his back injury (after bending over backwards to assure his employer that the ailing American automaker wasn't about to implode), Boot 'Em Bob's amped-up the PR. (No, I don't attribute the end of the radio silence to yesterday's Chrysler Suicide Watch.) Nardelli appeared on CNBC [reported via Bloomberg] to tell the world that ChryCo "had" $9b in the kitty last year. Let's see… a $1.6b loss last year, a catastrophic sales decline this year, the need for a multi-billion dollar float to keep the lights on, massive capital investment in competitive new small car products– oh wait, scratch that. The bottom line? "We're still in very good shape," Nardelli told the network. Yes, well, he would say that, wouldn't he? But what about this? "I have to take charge to get us through 2008 and make sure we are better positioned to 2009," Nardelli said. I have to take charge? Not I am taking charge? Uh-oh. Continuing the theme of decisiveness, Nardelli revealed to Reuters that Chrysler "may have to go back and resize" production. Ya think? The truck-heavy company's sales declined 19 percent so far this year.

Back when Cerberus bought Chrysler from Daimler, the new owner’s spinmeisters were highly animated. “We’re quicker than quick,” they proclaimed. “Our private equity owners don’t answer to The Street. We can make decisions– and get things done– fast.” The party line was designed to counter fears that Cerberus had bought-in simply strip-and-flip Chrysler. Uh-uh. They were going to restructure the ailing American automaker. Right now. And then… nothing. As Billy Preston said, nothing from nothing leaves nothing. 

"We, therefore, the undersigned citizens of the United States, petition the U.S. Congress to act immediately to lower gasoline prices (and diesel and other fuel prices)* by authorizing the exploration of proven energy reserves to reduce our dependence on foreign energy sources from unstable countries." The 450k e-signatures on this petition at americansolutions.com indicate that a large number of Americans favor punching holes in The Land of the Free to free us from dependency on foreign oil. Chuck Norris, last seen supporting presidential candidate Mike Huckebee, is down with that. He's signed, and sent a far less pithy message to our Texas elected lawmakers: "Congress, get off your gas, and drill!" The bullet points ('natch) list restrictions on domestic oil production and some side effects (e.g. American Airlines going out of business.) "If there isn't a conspiracy going on here, someone needs to make a movie about one!" Norris announces, pimping for work. At least he's conciliatory at the end "Congratulations Congress – you're completely failing us."

"If Brazil can do it, we can do it; it's as simple as that." Needless to say, Fox News' demagogue-in-chief Bill O'Reilly made this asinine assertion on energy independence while berating a couple of news blonds with his usual steam-roller-like tact, anti-intellectual insights and megalomaniacal aplomb. Ignoring differences in climate (Brazil's ethanol production is based on sugar cane), speaking over pictures of a Chevy FlexFuel Tahoe, Bill O told his acolytes (repeatedly) that we "have to get away from this oil-based economy." Why Brazil's just itching to rescue us from the oil thugs with cheap imported ethanol. But evil Congress is placing restrictive tariffs on our liquid salvation on behalf of… Big Oil. Sooooo close Mr. Bill (correct answer: the farm lobby). One of the news blonds almost dared challenge O'Reilly on the ethanol front– more energy in than out, dependence on oil to create it, deforestation, boondoggles, etc.– but didn't. Hey Bill. If you want a real fight on this issue, drop us a line. 

Yesterday, we (and that includes Chrysler's Jim Press) predicted post-Black Tuesday light truck fire sales. This is how they start for GM, focusing on loyal GM customers, trying to get them out of their negative equity hole (a.k.a. backwards or under water). Interestingly, the deal include those "low profile" two-mode hybrid SUVs…

• Chevrolet — Tahoe (nonhybrid) or Suburban: $2,000 customer cash + $4,000 owner loyalty bonus cash = $6,000 total cash.

Tahoe (hybrid): $0 customer cash + $4,000 owner loyalty bonus cash = $4,000 total cash.

Silverado or Avalanche: $2,000 customer cash + $3,000 owner loyalty bonus cash = $5,000 total cash.

• GMC — Yukon: $2,000 customer cash + $4,000 owner loyalty bonus cash = $6,000 total cash.

Yukon (hybrid): $0 customer cash + $4,000 owner loyalty bonus cash = $4,000 total cash.

Sierra: $2,000 customer cash + $3,000 owner loyalty bonus cash = $5,000 total cash.

• Cadillac — Escalade: $2,000 customer cash + $2,000 bonus cash + $2,000 owner loyalty bonus cash = $6,000 total cash.

You may recall that GM recently blamed Saturn's rapidly sinking sales on the brand's "awareness problem." The spin that started there has spiraled over to GM's two-mode hybrids. Automotive News [AN, sub] earnestly reports that "so far, the word isn't getting out… Marketing to build awareness, and move the metal, has to be kicked up." Ah, that MUST be it! 'Cause… GM says so! "There's very little awareness that we even have these products," GM marketing maven Mark LaNeve tells an entirely credulous Jamie Lareau. "We're going to be constrained by battery availability, but we still think that we could work it up to 5 to 10 percent of our full-sized SUV sales." Constrained? As in "we can't get them?" To be fair (hey, it's Monday), AN points out that the mondo-expensive hybrid SUVs are a gigantic flop: they've sold just 1,540 Tahoe and Yukon hybrids  compared to their 8k to 12k annual sales target. This may have a little something to do with it: "The top-end, four-wheel-drive Tahoe LT starts at $40,460. The hybrid starts at $50,490. The Yukon starts at $36,245 and the top-end, all-wheel-drive Yukon Denali at $50,380. The hybrid starts at $50,945. All prices include shipping." Ouch.

Just when Detroit thought it was safe to go back into the red ink-stained waters, the Teamster's union has stolen their swimsuits. (Or something like that.) Automotive News [sub] pinged-us with news of a strike at the nation's number two car delivery hauler: Performance Transportation Services (PTS). "The action comes after a bankruptcy court judge gave the suburban Detroit company permission to cut the pay of its union drivers by 15 percent. PTS is operating under Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection for the second time in three years." This time 'round, it ain't just The Big 2.8 who could get slammed by a strike. PTS delivers an unknown percentage of its four million cars shipped annually to Honda, Hyundai, Kia, Mercedes, Mitsubishi, Suzuki and Toyota dealers. 

BBC News reveals that the UK government is about to reveal their plan to introduce a £5 ($9.84) congestion charge to the city of Manchester. This despite the recent public backlash against increased petrol taxes, simmering resentment towards new "green" sales taxes on vehicle purchases, the ouster of London Mayor Ken Livingstone (proponent of increased, CO2-based congestion charges), polls showing widespread opposition to a Manchester congestion charge, and calls for, God forbid, a referendum on the issue. Of course, British politicians didn't get where they are by attending Oxbridge. Oh wait… I mean, they didn't get where they are by not playing the class warfare card. This piece by The Times' transport correspondent on the issue– and the timing of the charge– offers a fascinating insight into British politics. "The deal has been cleverly designed by Government to ensure that local politicians of all parties must risk their political necks by approving it. Seven of the ten local authorities in Manchester have to vote in favour of the deal for it to go ahead. Once they have accepted it, they will not then be able to claim that it was forced upon them. It may sound like the councils are being bribed [by a promise of £3b for public transportation improvements] into charging drivers up to £5 a day, but they will be wary of making this accusation themselves because he who accepts a bribe is just as guilty as he who offers it." Madness.