I recently visited the Saturn website to check on an Astra factoid. I was surprised to discover that the brand has dropped the "American" part of their "Rethink American" advertising strapline. It's now just "Rethink," with various bits added as and when needed (e.g. Rethink Hybrids). The idea of a generic prefix, followed by a campaign-specific suffix, is not new. Mercedes dropped it's "Engineered like no other car in the world" shtick a long while ago, in favor of a revolving series of "FILL IN THE BLANK like no other car in the world" pronouncements. Nissan has been shifting this and that for some time now, from Expectations to, uh, I can't remember. Which is the problem. While a flexible strapline certainly helps the marketing mavens, like any brand extension, a one-size-doesn't-fit-all marketing solution weakens the impact of the original, highly-focused brand promise. In fact, none of these automakers keep their strapline front and center on their web pages. In any case, Saturn's shift in my expectations got me to re-thinking like no other journalist in the world. What IS a Saturn? I rang up Kyle Johnson, Saturn's Director of Communications, to ask him about the streamlined strapline, cupholders and Saturn's Unique Selling Point.

I remain resolutely skeptical that the new Energy Bill's mpg mandate will fully fulfill its 35mpg by 2020 promise. Once the National Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) tweaks the "attribute based" fuel economy calculations, once the manufacturers figure out how to trade credits to share the "burden," there's every chance that the changes we'll see will be mildly evolutionary, rather than revolutionary. But I could be wrong. Perhaps the environmentalists are right. Maybe we'll all be driving right-sized plug-in hybrids fashioned from lightweight materials, and telling tall tales of the days when SUV roamed the fruited plains (before the sainted tree huggers sent them all to Hell). In any case, Wired assumes the best (worst?), counts the cost of meeting the new standards and suggests all the ways automakers will do their civic duty (as opposed to paying the fines and calling it good). The fact the article features a photo of a SMART gives me the heebie-jeebies, but what the Hell. I cordially invite TTAC's best and brightest to survey this technological conundrum and place your bets on the future of high mileage motoring. Aluminum, magnesium and lightweight steel? Direct injection? Diesel? We report, you deride.

Newspapers on both coasts are reporting that Environmental Protection Agency's (EPA) chief Stephen L. Johnson ignored his own staff's unanimous recommendations when he refused to allow California to set its own CO2 tailpipe emissions standards. The EPA ruling means that California– and all the states that adopted The Golden State's air quality standards– will not be able to trump the new fuel economy mandates [almost] specified in the Energy Bill. "The decision set in motion a legal battle that EPA's lawyers expect to lose and demonstrated the Bush administration's determination to oppose any mandatory measures specifically targeted at curbing global warming pollution," the Washington Post proclaimed, sweeping aside the 1000-page Energy Bill's CO2-diminishing provisions. The LA Times was quick to jump on the "we wuz robbed" bandwagon. "The head of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency ignored his staff's written findings in denying California's request for a waiver to implement its landmark law to slash greenhouse gases from vehicles, sources inside and outside the agency told The Times on Thursday." Just in case the EPA's opponents need more goading, the Times also reported that "In a PowerPoint presentation prepared for the administrator, aides wrote that if Johnson denied the waiver and California sued, 'EPA likely to lose suit.'" While Johnson's reasoning is sound– better a national standard than a patchwork of state regulations– the environmentalists are screaming blue murder. This one will run and run., 

It is with great trepidation that I raise this possibility. I remember my first foray into bridging the gap between Internet postings and FTF. I was writing "The Truth About Cars" column for Pistonheads. Flush from my proto-fame, I decided to attend their inaugural Pistonfest. Not only did I feel like a Jew at baptism, I was a Jew at a baptism. An American Jew at the birth of a particularly English enterprise characterized by an inordinate number of TVRs in the parking lot and a peculiar pride in a certain fondness for meat pie. These particular pistonheads had little time or interest in a writer whose keyboard spat vitriol like a milked puff adder, who couldn't even tell an Audi S4 Avant from an Audi S Avant (a mistake with an apparent half life of strontium). My wife and I retired to the world's nastiest hotel room where we watched Anneka Rice fly around the UK in a helicopter looking for a teapot named Ralph (look, don't ask). Anyway, any suggestions for a TTAC party venue? And if we do a TTAC get together, I warn you: I may give my name tag to one of my writers and look on from the sidelines. What was it my report card said? Doesn't play well with others. 

Some? I mean, c'mon Mr. Phelan. As a Detroit Free Press columnist, if you're going to proclaim a design renaissance at GM, why go half way? Why just trot out the Buick Enclave, Saturn Aura, Chevy Malibu and Silverado, draped though they are in various advertiser ingratiating COTY awards? What of the Pontiac G6? Saturn Sky? Chevrolet HHR? The General has 51 models spread over eight brands. Or are these four examples a sign of things to come. Apparently so… "The reason the new 'vehicles happened is that GM now has a hyperefficient, product-focused vehicle development program,' said Jim Hall, managing director of 2953 Analytics of Birmingham. GM's vehicle-development system today can stand alongside Toyota and BMW as the best in the industry." While one wonders just how efficient a development system has to be to qualify as "hyperefficient," Phelan identifies the three major changes ensuring that his Big Four aren't flukes. First, "A single executive is responsible for each family of vehicles, usually keeping the job for 10 years." Second, "Each of GM's global engineering centers now concentrates on the kind of vehicles it does best." And third, "The goal for each new vehicle is to be the best in its class, rather than simply hoping to be competitive." Phelan ends his paean to The General by elevating CEO Rick Wagoner, design chief Ed Wellburn and Car Czar Bob Lutz to sainthood. Clearly, the hometown scribe knows how to put the sick in sycophancy.

Now that they've palmed-off their Chrysler fiasco on Cerberus, Daimler is cash rich and company hungry. Reuters translates: "'Acquisitions are an option for growth,' the German news agency dpa-AFX quoted Zetsche as saying in an interview, adding the German carmaker — also the world's biggest truckmaker — had practically no financial limits for deals." Apparently, Dr. Z has ruled out scarfing-up another automaker, preferring to sniff around for companies who make technology that Daimler needs to meet new European Union fuel economy regulations, and such. Oh and to prevent a takeover– the original impetus for the Chrysler fiasco– Daimler looks set to announce another round of share buybacks. It currently owns just 4.7 percent of its shares, but plans to use the cash swilling around in its corporate coffers to repurchase up to 10 percent of Daimler stock by the end of August 2008. Why they didn't do this instead of buying Chrysler the first place, or how Zetsche remains in power after NOT doing this in the first place, remains a mystery. 

What does the word "draconian" mean to you? The Telegraph reports that tough new government guidelines allow UK judges to impose a two-year jail sentence on motorists caught driving whilst using a hand-held mobile phone. The shift reflects a punitive upgrade. iDistraction moves from "careless driving" (£5k and up to nine points on a motorist's license) to "dangerous driving" (unlimited fine, two years in gaol and a license suspension). Motorists nabbed entering a sat-nav destination, spinning through an MP3 player menu or texting could also face prison sentences. But distracted drivers shouldn't 't worry too much, as "prosecutions will be brought if by using the equipment a motorist is judged to have posed a danger to other drivers, such as causing another car to swerve." C'mon? Swerve? What if the swerve is the result of the other driver using an iPod? What are we talking here, cell mates? Hang on folks, cause "drivers who kill while using mobile phones could be charged with causing death by dangerous driving, which carries a 14-year jail term. In extreme cases they could be charged with manslaughter for which a life term can be imposed." Oh, and UK police now check phone records after accidents to see if the driver was making a call at the time of the crash. Fair enough?

The Great Ethanol Boondoggle continues to evoke the law of unintended (if not unanticipated) consequences. The Economist reports that American farmers in the Pacific Northwest have switched from hops and barley production to corn. The federal tit sucking has sent the price of beer's basic ingredients skyrocketing. "Hit by price increases and shortages, many breweries, particularly the small 'craft brewers' and the even smaller microbreweries, are being forced to raise prices, make do with modified recipes or shut off the spigots altogether." Vanilla Java Porter and Salvation IPA fans aren't the only ones dreading their next trip to the cash register. "Industry giants like Anheuser-Busch and Miller are better off, thanks to long-term contracts. But even Anheuser-Busch has been forced to raise prices for its six-packs." Fuel or beer? Could this be the beginning of the end for ethanol? [thanks to chanman for the link]

After listening to TWiT (This Week in Technology) co-host John Dvorak nearly choke to death on a cashew, for two minutes, I persevered to hear Jason Calcanis (founder of Autoblog) say that he's done his part for the world by ordering a Tesla Roadster. To his eternal credit, Dvorak interrupts Calcanis mid-mantra to ask "When are you going to get delivery?" "I think ahhhhh they're going to start in the second quarter." Claiming he's got the "inside dope," Calcanis says the production delay's down to Tesla's desire to get the "best possible transmission." "They went through three possible transmissions. The first one would have been good enough; they're just being kind of obsessive about it." The Corvette-owning internet entrepreneur goes on to say the Tesla "costs nothing" to run "because you're doing it off electrical." More credibly, he's going to put some solar panels on his garage and maybe even buy a thirty grand windmill so he can be "100 percent off the grid." Calcanis was a bit late to the party– only putting down a $5k deposit– but he's told Tesla's he's ready to jump in with the full whack if and when one of the first 100 proto-customers drops out. Oh, and the free market will solve global warming in ten years, because everyone wants to drive an electric car. You can't buy publicity like that. Nor should you. [thanks to whippersnapper for the link]

Our resident Romanian photochoppist Andrei Avarvarii renders unto us the possible shape of the future MB E-Klasse, in AMG variant, with a little Xmas spirit. Whoa! What's with those peepers? "It seems that MB will keep the quad front light layout for the E-Class, but will have it roughed-up in accordance with the rest of the model line-up. A subtle blend of curves and angles with a little retro-touch is the 'current/next thing' in automotive design." Well it couldn't be any worse than the two gens ago's friend eggs headlights. The new E, codenamed W212, is scheduled to hit the streets in mid-'09. World Car Fans reports that the model will be powered by the usual smorgasbord of petrol-fed powerplants, ranging from a frugal but slow four-cylinder 184hp four to a stonking gas-guzzling 544hp V8. Oil burners will stretch from a cylinder 136hp four to 354hp V8, with enough torque to stop the planet's rotation [my add]. A hybrid E-Class will not appear before 2010, not a moment too late.

[For more Avarvarii photochopistry, click here.]

GM has announced its intention to raise prices on its '08 model year cars and light trucks by about 1.5 percent, to cover "steel and commodity costs." But not on vehicles facing stiff competition. Reuters lets GM Marketing Maven Mark LaNever ring in the changes. "While most cars and trucks in our portfolio will go up between $100 to $500, in hotly contested segments, many vehicles such as the Saturn Aura four-cylinder and the all-new Malibu LS will have no increase." So… which vehicles can "afford" this increase? Why the Cadillac XLR! Yup, Caddy's priciest model, a $97kish vehicle that's sold just 1622 examples year-to-date (down from last year's 2917), gets an extra $1500 on its sticker (ready for discount?). GM PR declined to name any other specific vehicles facing the price hike, lest we call attention to their relative sales. In any case, you've got to wonder about the timing of the announcement– smack dab in the middle of GM's Christmas Toe Tag sale. Are they trying to say "get 'em while they're cheap?" As Reuters points out, the whole price hike deal is a bit odd. "GM is boosting prices as it tries to stick to a strategy of lower incentives and clearer pricing, after a decade of big discounting programs eroded profits." 

Props to The Car Connection (TCC) for pointing out that the Energy Bill President Bush will sign later today won't resolve the key issue bedeviling U.S. automakers: who controls fuel economy standards? Although TCC misses the fact (as did we) that the 35mpg by 2020 target is an industry-wide standard, they correctly identify California's air quality ambitions as a major threat to the Energy Bill's mpg mandate. Apparently, a "senior GM executive" told TCC that the California initiative– classifying CO2 as a greenhouse gas they can limit– amounts to a 43-mile per gallon fuel economy standard. And, ladies and gentlemen, THAT standard is REAL; although there are generous E85 credits it contains no industry average targets or "attribute based calculations" and phases-in four years earlier than the federal target. The GM exec [supposedly] told TCC that his employer can "probably offset most of the impact from the new CAFE legislation by selling '300,000 or 400,000 Volts' and some hybrid SUVs, there is no way to meet the California standards without a dramatic downsizing of vehicles that would reach across the entire vehicle lines." It's too bad TCC feels obliged to end their insight with a cheer leading quote about the Energy Bill. "It… will reduce its global warming pollution by the equivalent of taking 28 million cars off the road," Phyllis Cuttino, director of the Pew Charitable Trusts Campaign for Fuel Efficiency asserted. "There's nothing underwhelming about that," she said.

Car bombs are the poor man's nuclear weapon. The devastation unleashed by this relatively inexpensive explosive delivery system– to human life, political discourse and military strategy– is staggering, in both scope and scale. Car bombs are, in a word, horrific. So is it alright to joke about them? You may recall the UK viral ad that showed a car bomber blowing himself up in a VW Polo, which contained the blast ("Polo. Small but tough"). And now spoof.com takes it a step further: "Toyota replaces Ford as world's #2 car-bomb manufacturer." The author jests that "Mulally then announced Ford had reworked its Explorer SUV to accomodate [sic] bombs and renamed it the 'Exploder'. [By changing only one letter, Ford was able to save money by re-using slightly modified Explorer nameplates.] But Iraqi insurgent analysts ridiculed the Exploder as just repackaged junk: 'Changing the 'R' to a 'D' – they think that's fooling anyone? That thing doesn't blow up any better than before.'" From there, "websmuggler" sails a LOT closer to the wind: "Meanwhile Toyota stunned the industry by announcing the first vehicle specifically DESIGNED as a car-bomb. Named the Toyota Blast, it features seats easily removed to accomodate [sic] more explosives, 35% more window area than competitors to assure more flying glass shards, a high-capacity gas tank designed to quickly rupture, and controls which arm and detonate the explosives with one touch of a button. Options include having the bombs pre-installed at the factory, with the customer's choice of TNT, napalm or nitroglycerine." Are you OK with this?

Hunter Thompson and Ernest Hemingway are my greatest literary influences. The former taught me that writing is important. The latter taught me to use as few words as humanly possible. I mean, to write concisely. But let's not forget technology. I would never have become a writer without the advent of word processing. As someone who suffers from OCD, pre-WP days were Hell. I'd write a paragraph, start editing it, realize I could hardly read what I'd written, copy it over to a new piece of paper, and then start a second paragraph. Then I'd edit the second paragraph, rip it off from the first, and re-write that paragraph. By the time I had three paragraphs on three separate pieces of paper, I had to copy all three on a new piece of paper. A single page of text could take me an hour. And it still wasn't done. The moment I started writing on an Apple II, I was reborn. I accepted highlight delete as my personal savior. I worshipped at the altar of cut and paste. But I never forgot that Thompson's best work was born of personal conviction, not literary perfection. And I never forgot that Hemingway's skills were the intellectual embodiment of his ill-fated quest for a clean, well-lighted place (which is, for me, TTAC). As we've just heard that the Detroit Auto Dealers Association's has reconsidered– they will grant TTAC two presses for the North American International Auto Show (out of four requested)– this thought occurs: while we're heavily out-gunned, I've been training for this all my life. As have our NAIAS writer/reporters, William C. Montgomery and Sajeev Mehta, and Managing Editor Frank Williams. Watch this space.