[thanks to Robstar for the link]

GM’s SEC Filing, Form 8-K, August 7, 2009 is 3100 pages long. Full marks, then, to someone at Autocar [UK] for reading the document and winkling-out this bit about the Volt’s viability (there’s that word again). Props, also, to our Justin Berkowitz for finding the unidentified source of Autocar’s report and doing same. It should be noted that SEC filings, like all corporate disclaimers, are obliged to moot the gloomiest possible scenario (i.e., CYA). Even so, this is pretty sobering stuff, considering it was released four days before the 230 mpg hoopla.

We intend to invest significant capital resources to support our products and to develop new technology. In addition, we are committed to invest heavily in alternative fuel and advanced propulsion technologies between 2009 and 2012, largely to support our planned expansion of hybrid and electric vehicles, consistent with our announced objective of being recognized as the industry leader in fuel efficiency. Moreover, if our future operations do not provide us with the liquidity we anticipate, we may be forced to reduce, delay or cancel our planned investments in new technology.

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Holy shit, another GM website? I swear I’ve lost track of GM’s online PR blitz—and I do this for a living. Let’s see . . . GM, GMfactsandfiction, GMeuropefactsandfiction, The Lab, GMreinvention, GM-volt, tellfritz, Fastlane, GMblogs (both YouTube and Twitter), four new eBay California partner sites, and I’m sure there’s more. Well, there’s at least one more: Chevroletvoltage.com. And on this august (August?) website, GM Marketing Maven Maximum Bob Lutz is busy defending GM’s decision to announce that the Volt will get 230 mpg in city driving—deploying his usual combination of condescension, cheerleading, willful ignorance and prevarication.

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After our post on the “1000-DAY BIG THREE PLAN” to save the domestic automakers, TTAC commentators have been wondering about the man behind the website supportthebigthree.com. I’ve just got off the blower with site founder Sid Taylor who, it turns out, is the CEO of an automotive supplier named Set Enterprises. Scanning the site, it turns out the campaigner who would have Americans buy only Chrysler, Ford and GM products has a contract with Toyota. When asked about the apparent contradiction, Mr. Turner said the money involved is so small as to render the contract meaningless. “If I didn’t have Toyota it wouldn’t have any impact on my business.” Besides . . .

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Regular readers will recall that this site’s denizens helped radio personality, car dealer and fellow commentator John Wolfe name his new CBS radio show. In exchange, Wolfe promised that he’d give me a guest shot. And . . . he’s given us permission to rip this glossary of dealer jargon from his “Real Deal” website. While you peruse the perfidy, I’m thinking turnabout is fair play. How about TTAC’s Best and Brightest invent some of its own terms for what car dealers do to us? Yeah, yeah, some dealers, not all dealers. Suggestions below please.

You may recall that President Obama has appointed a “Pay Czar” to “review” the compensation packages enjoyed by executives working for companies suckling on the TARP-shaped teat. As Bloomberg reports, “Feinberg, the Obama administration’s ‘special master’ on executive pay, is due to receive compensation proposals by tomorrow from Citigroup Inc., American International Group Inc., Chrysler LLC, Chrysler Financial Corp., Bank of America, GMAC LLC and General Motors Corp. The companies must tell him how they plan to pay the 25 top-earning employees. Feinberg will rule on the plans within 60 days after they’re completed . . . In a second phase, Feinberg will decide on pay packages for the next 75 highest-paid employees at the companies.” In anticipation of the gravy train pulling into the station, Chrysler said “it will adhere to the requirements outlined in its $12 billion U.S. government bailout”—presumably as long as they don’t apply to their new Italian employees (wink wink). “GM, the recipient of $65 billion in U.S. aid, said today that it has submitted its proposals. It doesn’t plan to make the submission public.” Looks like GM CEO Fritz Henderson had his fingers crossed when he promised—under oath before the Senate—that the nationalized automaker would be transparent to taxpayers. Huh.

Puralotor filters are OK, I guess. I’ll defer to our Best and Brightest on that score. The company’s claims don’t seem particularly boastful—“Purolator filtration products provide high quality performance for everyday driving”—or, let’s face it, exciting. And so the company’s ad agency has convinced their client to take a walk on the weird side. “Keep it Pure” is a series of vignettes that thinks outside the bun—although it’s less Dada then da-da-da-da. Anyway, when the ad folks offered us otherwise restricted access to some of these, uh, pronouncements, I said “damn, did I forget to put that up?” Actually, before that, I said, “This campaign was born for our Whiskey Tango Foxtrot” category. Or vice versa. While we await our TTAC-exclusive ’round three “Keep it Pure” moment, here’s one from Purolator’s YouTube channel. I bet you can’t wait for the next installment. In a strange sort of way, neither can I. Despite Mel’s antagonism, despite Detroit’s nationalization, don’t you just love corporate America?

TTAC Commentator eggsalad writes:

In the 1950’s, everyone smoked. Car manufacturers installed electric cigarette lighters in every car. Not long after, a Very Smart Person took advantage of this universality and designed the Cigarette Lighter Plug. It was a brilliant way to get 12 volt power to all manner of accessories, from CB radios to cell phone chargers. Then folks stopped smoking. So many that car manufacturers eliminated the cigarette lighter as standard equipment. Some now offer an “ashtray delete” option. As drivers have all manner of accessories—GPS, radar detectors, Zunes, Nintendo DS, etc.—that the lighter socket itself remains. Now it’s just called a “power outlet.” Problem is, the 12 volt power outlet and its corresponding plug are absurdly large for their current functionality.

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TTAC Commentator JG sent us this link, and the following thought for the day:

I was thinking that the government should really be censoring these videos. If they can stand the test of time, in 50 years people will watch the videos and it will seem remarkable how utterly stupid some people are at this time. You probably don’t have time to watch this, but my favorite lines are @ 2:10: “Whatever dumbass traded this in probably bought a piece of shit that’s far worse than this thing . . . some Kia or some crap . . . such a waste.”

While General Motors has downsized physically and financially, the nationalized American automaker still suffers from a monumental mental disorder. Today’s F5 PR tornado made that point pellucid. In fact, it’s hard to know where to begin the diagnosis. We might as well start with the “big news” on the vehicle destined to become GM’s Edsel. The General would have you believe that the Chevrolet Volt will achieve 230 miles per gallon in city driving. Yes, well, the Volt is supposed to surmount the first forty-miles on battery power alone. So I make that . . . zero miles per gallon; you know; as it’s not using any liquid fuel. Hey! Anyone remember [former] Car Czar Bob Lutz’s hand-wringing re: the Volt’s gas supply fouling because owners would never use the internal combustion engine? Like that. Quick question: what drugs are these guys on? More accurately, why aren’t they taking their meds?

“EPA has not tested a Chevy Volt and therefore cannot confirm the fuel economy values claimed by GM. EPA does applaud GM’s commitment to designing and building the car of the future—an American-made car that will save families money, significantly reduce our dependence on foreign oil and create good-paying American jobs. We’re proud to see American companies and American workers leading the world in the clean energy innovations that will shape the 21st century economy.”

From supportthebigthree.com’s founder Sid E. Taylor’s press release:

I have been consistently frustrated by the misinformation and untruths I have seen on websites and in the media about the Big-3. In addition to the outstanding vehicles they produce, many fail to recognize the contributions the Big-3 have made and continue to make to the infrastructure of this Country. I feel compelled to do my part to correct the misconceptions and get the word out about these fine Companies that have supported our American infrastructure. They are committed to America because it is American. Instead of criticizing them, I believe we should be thanking and supporting them for their innovative, high quality, safety driven cars, trucks, SUV’s and Hybrids, but moreover, for being the steadfast stewards of our American infrastructure for so many years.

So when did the thousand days start? TTAC’s put in a call . . . [thanks to gamper for the link]

I’ve crossed swords with AskPatty.com before. When the self-professed “automotive advice for women” site asked me to link to a contrived story on autos and the fairer sex (here be trolls), I replied that TTAC does not approve of sexual discrimination. The editor thought I was kidding. I wasn’t. I’m philosophically averse to AskPatty’s “Women Buy Cars, Men Have a Penis” perspective. But it’s the site’s craven kow-towing to carmakers that really sticks in my craw. And vice versa. Carmakers never met a PC website they didn’t like; they especially don’t not like this one. Normally, I’d [continue to] flank the issue. But advertisertalk.com reports that Midlands Honda in South Carolina has become the Palmetto State’s first AskPatty.com’s “Certified Female Friendly Location,” complete with an AskPatty-branded Midlands website. An unspecified number of dealer employees completed some [presumably cumulative] 90 hours of on-line training. So the question must be asked: what did they learn/pay for?

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The E85 industry has a problem. Well, a bunch of problems: corn prices, water supplies, environmental impact, flagging political support for subsidies, limited access to the marketplace and profitability. Yes, there is that. Or, more precisely, there isn’t that. If only the feds could find a way to force the country to use the corn juice . . . I’ll see your mandatory E10 and raise however hell as much as I can get away with. The thing of it is: when there’s a choice, people aren’t buying E85. What’s left of the ethanol industry post-gas price drop has convinced itself that it suffers from a near-lethal perception gap. (Remember: no one ever died defending a corn field.) As we recently reported, the Department of Energy is spending $2 million of federal funds to help you discover that E85 isn’t really cheaper when you factor-in the mpg drop. Anyway, Evolution Fuels has announced that it wants some of that taxpayer loot.

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Eagle-eyed, infinitely patient TTAC editor Jeff Puthuff spotted this story in the LA Times: “Less than two years ago, [porn star Savannah] Stern earned close to $150,000 annually, sometimes turned down work and drove a Mercedes-Benz CLK 350. Now she’s aggressively reaching out for jobs and making closer to $50,000 a year. As for that Mercedes? She’s replacing it with a used Chevy Trailblazer — from her parents. ‘The opportunities in this industry really are disappearing,’ Stern said. ‘It’s extremely stressful.'” Hey! I know a really good way to relieve stress! Anyway, it seems the Internet is doing to Silicone—I mean San Fernando Valley’s porn industry what Silicon Valley did to Armonk, New York’s computer industry. And you’ve got to give Ms. Stern credit for tightening her belt. So to speak. If only the feds could appreciate the benefits of austerity. * cough Gulstream jets cough *