So why would Canadian car brands refuse to lower their prices in the face of a huge wave of bargain-seeking cross-border shoppers, and the pricing policy's stultifying effects on the new car market? Because they can? Yes and no. The Globe and Mail tapped Bank of Nova Scotia economist Carlos Gomes for an explanation, and an explanation they got: auto makers are reluctant to cut MSRPs in Canada because a record 550k vehicles are coming to the end of their leases next year, up from last year's five-year low of 470k units. Cutting prices would reduce the vehicle's residual values leading to huge losses for the dealers and auto financing companies obliged to buy them back from the lessees. Oops. Instead of biting the billion dollar bullet, Canadian car companies have launched a less expensive PR war. The Globe says "several auto makers" sponsored an eight-page (!) advertising supplement. Within this magnum opus (methinks they doth protest too much), execs from Audi Canada, Toyota Canada and Volvo Canada justified their Canadian price premium and explained what they're doing about it. If any of our Canadian readers have a copy of yesterday's Mail, we'd love to read the quotes.

The Statesman reports that former GM CEO Roger Smith (of "Roger and Me" fame) and former Charlie's Angel Farrah Fawcett (no longer major) have both pleaded with a federal judge to go easy when sentencing convicted Texas oilman Oscar Wyatt. The 83-year-old CEO of Coastal Corp has already cut a deal with the feds over bribery charges (i.e. embargo running) relating to the United Nations' Oil for Food program. Three weeks into his trial, Wyatt agreed to spend 18 to 24 months in the hoosegow and fork over $11m in ill-gotten gains. His supporters are worried that U.S. District Judge Denny Chin may set aside the deal and whack Wyatt with some more alone time (as is his right). GM's former big cheese vouched for Wyatt's moral fiber. "I know of no way to better measure a man's character and traits than to hunt together," Smith wrote in a letter to Chin. "Oscar ranks as number one in the character traits that really count — integrity, responsibility, loyalty and dependability." I guess three out of four ain't bad.

Money, like energy, is never lost. As the U.S. new car market heads down a hidey hole– chased by high gas prices, a cooling housing market and a sluggish economy– the used car business is booming. That’s because Ditech’s right: people are smart. OK, well, they’re not stupid enough to repeat expensive mistakes. In the last five years or so, tens of millions of American got burned by buying a new car. They’re mad as Hell and they’re not buying new anymore.  

How did Stevie Wonder go from "You Haven't Done Nothin'" to "I Just Called to Say I Love You?" The easy answer is money (they don't call it "selling out" for nothing). But I wonder. I wonder if Wonder woke-up one day and found the anger that informed his masterful mid-career music had disappeared. The birth of his first daughter– immortalized in the song "Isn't she lovely?"– signaled the empty-calorie crooning to follow. Maybe he just mellowed-out. But I can't help but, uh, cogitate what kind of music Wonder might have unleashed upon the world if he'd kept his edge. Of course, that sort of whatifitude can really bum a guy out. How many of the heroes of our youth descended into mediocrity? How many ended-up lost in a drug-addled haze? How many stayed on stage too long, making the faithful wince at their lost powers? Anyway, it seems TTAC is gaining a bit of financial traction; that's an honest-to-God Ford ad on the home page. I just want to mark the occasion by assuring you that success won't change TTAC. As long as I'm at the helm, we'll keep living just enough, just enough for the city. 

Unlike the vast majority of their American counterparts, auto scribes scribbling in The Land of Hope and Glory are not shy about coming forward when they test a car that sucks. As American fans of Jeremy Clarkson will tell you, built-in ethnocentrism only makes things worse (better?). In this case, Mr. Clarkson's colleague at The Times, Andrew Frankel, rises to the rhetorical challenge of ripping Chrysler's new Grand Voyager (in Euro-spec diesel trim) a new one. First the good news: "Not only has it been renamed the Grand Voyager, it is also longer than a Mercedes S-class. And provided you don’t make the mistake of driving it anywhere, it’s really rather wonderful." After chronicling the toys lurking within Mr. Nardelli's Wonder Emporium, Frankel gets the party started. "If I tell you the engine is a close relative of that used by London taxis, you’ll perhaps see where the problems start. Chrysler won’t release any performance figures for this car and, frankly, nor would I… That’s not the only problem. The engine is clattery and unrefined, even at the modest speeds at which the Grand Voyager can be persuaded to cruise. And while Chrysler’s engineers seem pleased with the new suspension they designed for the car, its handling is vague and ponderous… Yes, the Grand Voyager can swallow all the people and possessions you could possibly want to throw through its electrically sliding doors. The only problem is that once they’re in, you’re not going to want to take them anywhere." Ow.

As it currently stands, automakers selling fewer than 10k cars in the U.S. hold a "get out of Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) standards" free card. As Automotive News [AN, sub] reports, the German automaker that sold 32,447 vehicles stateside last year is busy lobbying the feds to raise the exemption's limit to 64k cars. If Porsche's new, full-time lobbyist "convinces" legislators to widen the loophole, the Sultans of Stuttgart will instantly add $4.6m to their annual U.S. bottom line (the amount of CAFE fines they paid last year), protect their current model line-up (obviating the need to try to sell higher mileage vehicles), protect their current model line's power output (same again) and lower their technology costs (needed to meet the new higher standards). When asked about the move in consideration of the fact that "small" Porsche is about to take over mighty VW, Spokesman Tony Fouladpour simply issued the above headline. The rest of the industry isn't quite so taciturn. "Barbara Nocera, director of government and public affairs for Mazda North American Operations, warned that the redefinition would enable new entrants — such as automakers from China and India — to get a foothold in the United States." The Porsche loophole would also help Land Rover and Jaguar, immediately and dramatically increasing their value to potential buyers.  

A press release from the lemon law firm Kimmel and Silverman claims that the sliding doors fitted to the 2005 and 2006 model year Chevrolet Uplander, Saturn Relay, Buick Terraza and Pontiac Montana are prone to popping open at speeds above 45mph. Attorney Bob Silverman says GM service managers blame the problem on dirt and debris fouling the soon-to-be-extinct minivans' door sensors. Luckily for Silverman (and not so lucky for his clients), "there are plenty of consumers who are returning to the dealer time and time again, only to hear that the service manager can't diagnose and/or fix the problem." Silverman claims his company has handled over 100 sliding door cases in the past two years, scoring full or partial refunds for his clients. Although the National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration has received more than two dozen complaints, no safety recall is planned. Meanwhile, Silverman has some sage advice for afflicted owners: "Make sure that each time you pick up your vehicle, you receive a repair invoice which clearly outlines your complaints and the repairs. Once you have three or more repair invoices for this problem, look into your rights under your State Lemon Law and/or the Federal Magnuson Moss Warranty Act."

Responding to mounting calls for action to stem South Africa's horrific road carnage, the government has decided to crack down on motorists who fail to pay their fines. The Times reports that only 20 percent of the Republic's 180k motorists fined each month pay their penalty. The government will now go all out to get the money: blacklisting miscreants' credit, seizing scofflaws' "movable" assets after 30 days and/or suspending their license. The Republic of South Africa (RSA) will also spend R72m to computerize collection, including hand-held computers. Transport Department Spokesperson Collen Msibi– last seen denying reports that 80 percent of RSA's vehicles were unsafe to drive and promising a crackdown against testing station corruption— justified the move as necessary to road safety. “Habitual offenders make our roads unsafe and they need to start complying with the rules. This is why such harsh measures were considered." While cynical observers might see the move as a simple cash grab (that opens the floodgates to yet more corruption), this may be an example where government greed and public interest intersect. Given that the RSA has the world's second worst road safety record (after Botswana), something is better than nothing. 

I don't normally read Car and Drivers' letters to the editor section. But the sub-head over a readers' missive caught my eye: "Is our BMW Bias Showing?" I'd just finished editing a comment accusing Justin of anti-BMW bias in his Infiniti G37 review. As a matter of policy, I delete any and all accusations of brand bias against TTAC from our comments' section. Although I recognize the importance of this issue (which a new writer will address in an editorial on Monday), these comments inevitably lead to rancor and flames. I always email the offender and invite them to discuss the issue via private email. In this regard, Car and Driver enjoys the luxury of both quarantine and unnatural selection; they publish what they like, edit it as they please and respond at will, without any chance of reprisal. So anyway, subscriber Dave Kress makes his case and asks "Were you guys born BMW biased or do you work at it?" Instead of denying the charge, it's "We work hard at it– Ed." Jim Lucas then chastises Car and Driver for not highlighting the new M3's high price. "Our job is to tell you how the car performs. Your job is to figure out what you can afford– Ed." Greg Williams upbraids C&D for inconsistencies in the mag's M3 stats. "Sounds like we've stumbled ino the Nerd City Internet Chat Room." And there I was thinking (some? most?) car dealers are the only auto biz folk who still treat their customers like shit. 

Well neither does the National Highway Safety Traffic Administration, apparently, as it's not going to issue a safety recall for the 3.5 million full-size GM pickups and SUVs built in 2003 and 2004 at risk of speedo failure. GM says it will repair faulty units– as long as the trucks so afflicted have less than 70k miles on the [hopefully functional] odometer. KXAS-TV tells the tale of a GM customer who disagrees– but can't do a damn thing about it. "The speedometer in Sonia Martin's truck makes her look like a speed demon. With her husband on disability, Martin said she can't afford the $400 it would cost to fix it. 'I didn't have that kind of money, and I took it to two different dealers… You have to hope and pray you're not going to get a ticket or get in a wreck or get run over by a semi.'" After learning that Ms. Martin's truck is only 1k over the limit, GM told the TV station that dealers can make free repairs in cases where the mileage is close to the limit. So… why didn't they? Once again, GM and its dealers show their true stripes. 

When it comes to creating reporting wild ass merger rumors, The Detroit News says game on! The latest chorus of "Daimler and blank, sitting in a tree" would have the artist formerly known as DaimlerChrysler selling 20 percent of itself to… BMW. Sussex scribe Neil Winton dutifully, perhaps even exhaustively lays out the rationale. "Audi is owned by German mass car maker Volkswagen, and Lexus by Japan's gigantic Toyota. This means that the cost of many basic components like engines, transmissions and components, which are used under the skin of ordinary as well as exotic machines, can be spread over huge numbers of vehicles allowing the interlopers what could be a killer long-term cost advantage." It's a simple if bogus premise: Mercedes and BMW could share parts and platforms to compete against Audi and Lexus. (Strangely for the home town paper, no mention of Cadillac.) It's also not Winton's idea. The entire story is based on a report written by Adam Jonas of Morgan Stanley. To be fair (why not?), Winton unearths a coherent naysayer in the form of Professor Ferdinand Dudenhoeffer, managing director of B&D Forecast. "The only thing that makes sense is that Morgan Stanley as investment bankers is going to make strong profits if they can sell someone a merger." Which makes the whole thing a bit of a non-story, don't you think? 

Mr. Avarvarii emails: "From the spy photos I've seen, it seems like BMW are cooking a spicier version of the X5 (hotter than the 4.8 iS). I don't know if it is going to be an actual 'M' model; after all the naming is just marketing. But I'm pretty sure they won't be calling it MX5 ;) As I haven't seen any rendering of the thing around the web yet (nobody was brave– or dumb– enough), I felt obliged to give it a try. You can find the result attached as TTAC's first 'exclusive image.'" To which I can only add a simple question. While I understand (if not approve of) Bimmer's perceived need to carve-off a bit of the Porsche Cayenne's extreme SUV market, why would The Boys from Bavaria M-up a truck before breathing their performance-related magic on their already sublime handling 7-Series? With Mercedes S63, Audi's S8 and Porsche's forthcoming Panamera, you'd think an M7 would be the safer– and better– bet.  

[For more Avarvarii photochopistry, click here.] 

Thanks to its penchant for regulating (and taxing) every human activity save respiration, the UK is often called "The Nanny State." While The Daily Mail is the newspaper of record when it comes to overly invasive legislation, the Chester & District Standard brings us news that a cycling police officer's accidental death has led Cheshire Police to ban officers from riding bicycles on "health and safety grounds." Instead, "the police and community support officers are using cars and even public transport." Even? Nice. And I'd like to see evidence of that claim. Anyway, the chairman of the Alderley Edge parish council is outraged. "Because one person has been knocked off and killed they withdrew them and they all have to go on cycling proficiency tests which is totally unbelievable. Health and safety is going absolutely mental in this country. When officers crash police cars do all other drivers have revised intensive tests?" No, but this is not the first time UK police imposed a cycling ban on their officers. In September, Greater Manchester Police put their officers' mountain bikes in storage after bicycling PCSO Christopher Maclure was hit killed by a lorry.

As much as TTAC likes to make fun of, well, everyone, we tend to focus our rhetorical cannon on auto-related hypocrisy and cant. Not so The New York Times. The Old Gray Lady's LA Bureau Chief Jennifer Steinhauer decided to smack down the California Department of Motor Vehicles' (DMV) perfectly understandable, in fact laudable decision to put driver training videos on YouTube and create its own myspace page. Steinhauer starts off nasty ("As YouTube videos go, Kyle’s driving test has nothing on Gizmo, the toilet-flushing cat") and gets nastier ("Since the department’s effort at youtube.com/californiadmv began last month, some of the clips have been viewed nearly 5,000 times. In comparison, “Gizmo Flushes” has been viewed 3.4 million times over the last 18 months"). Other than the fact that nobody's visiting the site and page– an issue that the snarky article helps rectify– her main complaint seems to be that the content is, as the Brits say, naff. "There is abundant instruction on the meaning of dotted white lines, parallel parking and blind spots, much of it set to music apparently performed by an ’80s glam rock cover band." At the risk of sounding hopeless web 1.9, the DMV is not supposed to be cool. It's supposed to be effective.

"The new Chevrolet Malibu has topped General Motors Corp's sales expectations in its debut month on the market by a wide margin, a senior GM executive told Reuters." Ironically enough given his moniker, this piece of good news arrived courtesy Maximum Bob Lutz. GM's Car Czar revealed that the artist formerly known as the world's largest automaker blew-out its 500-car sales target for the new 'Bu by 2500 units. While the numbers call into question (again) the wisdom of launching a $150m ad campaign for a new car without any "boots on the ground," why that's 300 percent better than [GM's] expectations! Bob reckons this is good news because "most Chevrolet dealers do not have a car because they're selling as fast as they get them." Or, alternatively, GM didn't make enough. And speaking of bad planning… "Lutz said GM had misjudged the relative demand for two new crossover utility vehicles built on the same platform: the Buick Enclave and the Saturn Outlook. 'It just shows you how the best laid plans go awry,' Lutz said. More specifically, "The Saturn Outlook has been a little slower than we expected. I think that's partly because there aren't enough Saturn dealers, and secondly, there isn't the brand awareness for Saturn." Not enough Saturn dealers? Wow.