You wait all decade for GM to produce a high-tech, high mileage, low emissions vehicle and then the company shows up in Germany with three. Just-auto [sub] says The General will place the following models on display at the Frankfurt Auto Show: 1. a Corsa equipped with a stop – start diesel electric engine with a lithium-ion battery-powered alternator starter 2. a 'Flexpower' Vectra with a two-liter turbocharged engine that can run on a bioethanol/gasoline mix and 3. a Corsa with a superclean 1.3-liter CDTI ecoFLEX engine. The latter is no concept vehicle; the world's smallest common rail diesel (75hp) will go on sale in Europe next year. Its debut will be shared with a natural gas-powered Corsa and Zafira– vehicles that can run on both compressed natural gas and the standard liquid energy source. Gentlemen, place your eco-bets.

It's been three weeks since The Big 2.8 automakers began negotiations with The United Auto Workers (UAW). So far, neither side has said word one about their progress, which Wall Street and other industry analysts [wrongly] consider the key to Detroit's future. According to the news hungry scribes at the International Herald Tribune, that's a good thing, not a bad thing. The Trib trotted out Global Insight auto industry analyst Aaron Bragman. "'Historically, both sides have aired grievances publicly when things were not going well. If things were going poorly you'd be hearing a lot of saber rattling." Apparently oblivious to the "Yeah, TOO quiet" school of thought, Bragman then shared a little inside information. "From what we hear, they're sitting down and they are making some serious propositions back and forth. We'll see what comes of it." David Cole, chairman of the Center for Automotive Research in Ann Arbor, agrees. "I think they're making pretty good progress, and I think there is a mutual understanding of what they have to do." For this they they get paid? 

Ford's $25m Man continues his "back to basics" pogram program at Ford. The Detroit News reports that Ford CEO Alan Mulally is considering resurrecting The Blue Oval's old ad tagline "Have you driven a Ford lately?" (Uh, have you listened to a Ford TV ad lately? At least one uses the phrase as a musical background.) Further confusing the somewhat of a non-issue, Big Al says he will or won't do it depending or not depending on his marketing experts' opinion, to a greater or lesser extent: "I certainly am bringing it back — I don't know if I can convince my colleagues that that will be our main marketing campaign." Auto Pacific analyst Jim Hall agrees with Mulally's assessment that he's the wrong guy to make that decision: "He's being paid too much to be working on an advertising campaign." Alternatively, you could say Big Al's being paid too much NOT to be working on an advertising campaign. 

And that's just the second half of '07. On Wednesday, Deutsche Bank automotive analyst Rod Lache informed his clients (and Forbes) that sales of The General's latest trucks and SUVs have peaked. "We are currently forecasting an 8 percent decline in GMT900 production in the second half based on a relatively flat absolute inventory levels," Rod wrote in his Dear John note to investors. "An assumption which increasingly looks optimistic based on the decline in segment volumes." In other words, GM's losing share in a declining segment. Although the estimate is not unexpected– given GM's recently announced big rig production cuts– as the housing slump gets worse, it looks like GM's cash cow is in the chute, heading straight to the packing house. So… what now?

OK, I'm paraphrasing. Freshly-minted (though perhaps not minty fresh) Chrysler CEO Boot'em Bob Nardelli rang-up The Rockford Register Star's star columnist Chuck Sweeny to schmooze. The fellow Auburn High School Knights yakked about federal corporate average fuel economy figures. Well, anyway, that's the news peg. And most of Sweeny's recollection sounds a lot like a PR release. But there is some meat to this matter. "Nardelli said he’ll need about 100 days before he can make a realistic assessment of what needs to be done to make Chrysler successful as an independent company, but he said his experience at GE is exactly what he needs to guide Chrysler: 'I’ve been there, done that before.'" First, BEB's 100-day assessment flies in the face of Cerberus' modus operandi, as reported by Portfolio ("When Cerberus pulls the trigger on a new purchase, it executes a detailed 100-day plan"). Secondly, it seems our fears of Boot'em Bob Six Sigma-ing Chrysler to death are not without foundation. Meanwhile, BEB's optimism knows no bounds, and he really, really wants to be seen as a car guy. "This is a really good business, and I’ve always had this romance about cars."

The movement to ticket drivers who smoke in cars with children on board is gathering force. Physicians at the Canadian Medical Association's (CMA) annual general meeting called for a nationwide ban on the practice. "The risk of second-hand smoke is quite clear to everyone in this room," Ottawa doctor Atul Kapur proclaimed. "There are few areas where children are still exposed; however, one of them is vehicles." According to Canada.com, only one unnamed doc was brave enough to oppose the resolution, saying the CMA should strive to educate parents rather than alienating them "by pulling them over on Highway 401." Given the increasing number of jurisdictions enacting legislation to outlaw the practice, such common sense didn't– and doesn't– stand a chance. 

Prowler-mania, Demonology; what's up with Chrysler's automotive tastes these days? What Car (indeed) reports that the foul Chrysler Sebring diesel (and we're not talking about emissions here) may be the first Chrysler product blessed with a Dual-Sequential Gearbox (DSG). As DSG is Borg Warner's name for Volkswagen's sublime paddle shifter, the magazine is hedging its bets regarding sourcing: "It is not yet clear if the dual-clutch transmission is Chrysler's own, if it has been developed with former sister company Mercedes, or if it is from another manufacturer – the Sebring's 2.0-litre diesel engine is already sourced from Volkswagen." And while they're at it, What Car says the gearbox might spread to other Chrysler products. Funny thing is, I can't think of a single Chrysler product that really deserves needs it… Viper? Do they still make that?

CSM Worldwide have some bad news for auto execs waking up to their skinny lattes. The automotive forecasters reckon the collapse of the housing market and soaring consumer debt will send U.S. auto sales plummeting by nine percent. CSM's Senior Economist connected the dots. "With many consumers having a harder time getting mortgages or coping with higher payments from their adjustable rate mortgages, there will be a considerable impact on light vehicle sales," Charles Chesbrough  predicted. "Weak sales of existing homes and declining home values also are dampening consumer spending, leaving less money available for vehicle purchases." It gets worse. CSM's NA soothsayer says American automobiles sales will recover "no sooner than" the fourth quarter of 2008. In fact, Joe Barker says "market fundamentals have deteriorated and will need at least a year to rebuild." He also noted that the domestics' production is heading south, while the transplants' are ramping-up. As David Halberstram might have said, a reckoning is on its way.

On August ninth, GM Car Czar Maximum Bob Lutz announced that his employer had increased incentives in response to its competitors' spending– not to shore-up sliding market share. On Elvis' Death Day (August 16), Bob pronounced himself "reasonably pleased" with the month's progress– despite our spies' reports that GM's sales were continuing their disastrous slide. Yesterday, GM ended the charade (at least for anyone other than Bob Lutz) by announcing production cutbacks on their cash cows: pickup trucks and SUVs. Reuters reports that the automaker has eliminated previously scheduled overtime through the rest of the year at truck-making plants in Arlington, Texas; Janesville, Wisconsin; Silao, Mexico; Fort Wayne, Indiana; Flint, Michigan; and Oshawa, Ontario. Spokesman Tom Wickham explained that "reducing overtime production enables us to reduce pressure for excessive incentive spending." True, but it also reduces the amount of cash GM's North American operations will generate. If August pans out the way we've heard, look for more production cuts AND increased incentives.

Microchip Technologies is in full damage/spin control mode, as Israeli and Belgian boffins say they've cracked the "Keeloq" anti-theft key code. The code is the foundation of the company's remote control system. MT's plippers lock and unlock the doors and immobilize and de-immobilize models built by Fiat, General Motors, Toyota, Volvo, Honda, Volkswagen, Jaguar, Daewoo and Chrysler. Microchip's website calls the code "a highly secure algorithm." The hackers call it lunchmeat. The Jerusalem Post says all the geeks have to do is wirelessly access your key for about an hour, run their computer program and hey presto! They can identify your code from a billion billion possibilities, unlock your car and motor away. Or can they? "Our attack was checked in depth in program simulations," claimed researchers Sebastian Indestig, Eli Beham, Or Dunkelman, Barrett Fernil and Natan Keller. These guys would do well to remember the Ancient Art of War admonition: the algorithm is not the territory.

Chrysler design chief Trevor Creed better watch his back. According to Wards, Creed's obsessed with producing the Dodge Demon, the small, inexpensive roadster his team designed to take on the firmly entrenched Mazda MX-5. "Building a production version of the Demon is 'foremost in my mind,' Creed confessed. If that wasn't enough of an alarm bell for boss Boot'em Bob Nardelli– whose company needs a mainstream hit more than Los Del Rio– Creed said there's no rush to build the Demon. Its "classic proportions" give it "plenty of shelf life," just like… the Chrysler Crossfire. Low margins. Niche model. Declining niche. Another Crossfire. I’m thinking incubus.

I’d like to meet the idiot who thought that the Cadillac BLS was a good idea. Actually, I’d like to meet the group of idiots who said sure, let’s create a small, badge-engineered Saab, fit it with a diesel engine, call it a Caddy and sell it to Europeans, South Africans and Mexicans. No, wait; just sit me down in front of the idiot who gave the other idiots the power to green light the idiot who had the idiotic idea in the first place. And I’ll ask him straight out: what part of branding don’t you understand? You know, other than all of it.

Reading this morning's PR Newswire press releases, I clicked on "The New Chrysler Awards $5,000 in Prizes at 13th Annual 'Spirit in the Words' Poetry Program." Well, fair enough. Nice to see Detroit as a patron of the arts. A reporter for WALB-TV, an NBC affiliate television station in Albany, scooped the $3k first place award for his ode "Corporate Brutha." Huh? I had to backtrack. Normally, members of the media are barred from corporate competitions, for obvious reasons. It got worse. Turns out the Chrysler contest is restricted to members of the National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ). Huh X2? Since when is it OK a company to run a $5k cash contest for journalists? Since when is it OK for them to accept the money? Quite some time, apparently. "The Spirit in the Word poetry program has been offered at diverse journalism conferences throughout the U.S. including UNITY, the National Association of Black Journalists, the National Association of Hispanic Journalists, the Asian American Journalists Association and the Native American Journalists Association." Shame on them. 

In Portfolio Magazine's feature "The Most Dangerous Deal in America," author Daniel Roth combines high finance with a "what makes Stephen run" profile of Cerberus' enigmatic leader. We get to savor Stephen Feinberg's austere monomania, and enjoy the comedy of Cerberusians chanting "fix and hold, fix and hold." Overall, it seems we have the makings of a genuine tragi-comedy. To wit: temporary dupe Cerberus employee Wolfgang Berhard's three reasons why buying Chrysler was an excellent idea: "One, Daimler­Chrysler just finished spending a 'mountain' redesigning its front-wheel-drive system (meaning Cerberus won’t have to). Two, Chrysler is about to launch a new line of minivans and pickups, vehicle types that have boosted the company’s market share when new models have debuted in the past. 'Three,' he says, 'Daimler was desperate.' The crowd roars with laughter." Wow, If Cerberus believes that, it's only a matter of time before the three-headed dog gets smacked with the world's biggest newspaper. But good. 

I swear I'm living in an episode of The Twilight Zone written by Kurt Vonnegut. Submitted for your consideration: a wealthy family in Stoke-on-Trent England possess the country's largest carbon footprint. "Their annual energy bill of £3,000 was five times the national average," The Daily Telegraph notes. "The central heating was left on for 24 hours a day. Nothing in their home was recycled, and their carbon-unfriendly inventory included 15 televisions, 30 game consoles, six computers, three DVD players, three fridges, a laptop, 16 spotlight bulbs in the kitchen alone, and two cars (a gas-guzzling 4×4 and a Mini)." The Fowlers are whisked off to a "House of Correction" in Wales where they live for four days without running water or electricity. They fish garbage out of a lake, walk across a pile of burning coals (symbolizing their fossil fuel consumption), watch a pig being killed (and eat it) and fertilize their vegetables with their own urine. Upon their return, they discover an "eco-mower" sheep, an electric car and a pedal-powered washing machine that only works with cold water. Did I mention that this was all done for a reality show called "Outrageous Wasters?" That's it, I'm off to the hot tub…