WreckedExotics.com heads off the reservation to offer some discarded not to say abandoned Rolls Royce parts. Apparently the bits “Was [sic] removed from an undamaged Phantom to make a custom body. It includes the trunk lid with hinges and trunk liner, rear window, rear quarter windows, interior rear quarter C-pillar trim with wood and mirrors. The roof extends to just behind the sun roof but also includes the complete sun roof.” If I was BMW, I’d buy these items and crush them, stat. And what, dear God, happened to the donor car? Inquiring minds (with strong stomachs) want to know.

And here’s how the Wall Street Journal wraps sensationalistic video in the mantle of investigative journalism. [Thanks to clutchcargo for the link.]

Welcome the wacky world of nuclear bomb detection, as practiced by U.S. border guards protecting The Land of the Free from terrorist infiltration via our neighbors to the north. The Vancouver Sun reports the reassuring news that “every car, truck and passenger entering the United States by land from Canada is now searched for nuclear weapons.”

And how do they do that? Not so well, it seems. The feds have installed polyvinyl toluene or PVT monitors alongside the car lane approaches to customs’ booth inspections, with larger monitors for transport trucks  in cargo inspection areas. “Each detects certain types of energy within a limited area but not the exact radioactive source. For that a suspect vehicle is sent for a secondary inspection that includes a scan with a hand-held detection device to identify the source and whether it constitutes a threat. Benign emissions from lingering medical isotopes in people’s bodies, scrap metal, natural sources of radiation and even Kitty Litter trigger frequent false alarms . . .

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Mike writes:

Sajeev, what ever happened to 14-inch wheels?  I mean, seriously, does the Caliber really need to be shod with 17-inchers? Why does my dad’s new half-ton pickup have 17-inch wheels? His old one had what used to be the industry standard 235-75R15. He about had a coronary when he found out new tires would be over $100 each. Perhaps if I put on my tinfoil hat, I’d say the tire companies are behind this. So really, does the average family sedan or minivan really need anything bigger that a 15-inch wheel/tire?

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I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: if you want proof that Ford’s water-walking CEO doesn’t “get” automotive branding, look at Lincoln. The Blue Oval Boyz’ upmarket marque is in total disarray. Lincoln lacks anything approaching an effective brand proposition; it’s burning through tag lines almost as quickly and ineffectively as the industry standard for pitiful performance (Buick). Does it even matter? Lincoln’s line of lackluster products simply aren’t good enough to make it in The Bigs. And then there’s the Medusa-class disaster known as the MKT: a poorly-built, misbegotten machine constructed on Big Al’s watch. Automotive News [sub] deployed no less than three writers to talk to Mulally about languid old Lincoln, AND they spotted him the lazy journalist’s and persnickety PR person’s best friend: the Q&A format. Even so, the result is an extraordinary non-outburst from an executive who believes that combining Ford and Lincoln Mercury dealers is a good thing. Check out this exchange:

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It’s not every day that our friends over at Autoblog rip someone, anyone, a new NSFW. In fact, have they ever done it? Well, now they have. “SEMA 2009 Worst of Show: This Car Stinks” tears into a modded Dodge Charger with scissor doors like nothing I’ve ever read on the Gray Lady of autoblogs. “The why and the how of this particular example of aftermarket hubris and wretched, mindless – and let’s not forget pointless – excess don’t really matter now, as the poor thing will spend the next 15 years quietly rotting in the side yard of some shop in Joliet, Illinois waiting to either shrug off this mortal coil or get turned into a fine LeMons car right around 2025 – whichever comes first.” Looks like Mr. Lieberman is channeling his inner TTAC. Oh wait; he cut his teeth on this very website. So, to thine own TTAC be true? Yes, BUT—who built the cat piss special? On this point, Mr. Lieberman and/or his editors are not-so-surprisingly silent. So I turn to our Best and Brightest to answer two simple questions. First, why is this car any worse than the other abominations cluttering the SEMA ho’ down? Second, who done done it?

Some politicians who supported the Cash for Clunkers program didn’t want to be seen promoting a billion dollar (or three) bailout for car dealers, what with car dealers rating just above sex offenders as “people who I’d like to support with my taxes.” So, not surprisingly, the C4C bill was wrapped in a mantle of green; structured to reward buyers who traded gas guzzlers for [marginally] more fuel efficient vehicles. In practice, the “program mostly involved swaps of old Ford or Chevrolet pickups for new ones that got only marginally better gas mileage, according to an analysis of new federal data by The Associated Press. The single most common swap — which occurred more than 8,200 times — involved Ford F150 pickup owners who took advantage of a government rebate to trade their old trucks for new Ford F150s. They were 17 times more likely to buy a new F150 than, say, a Toyota Prius. The fuel economy for the new trucks ranged from 15 mpg to 17 mpg based on engine size and other factors, an improvement of just 1 mpg to 3 mpg over the clunkers.” It gets worse . . .

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Inside baseball alert. If you’re more interested in Metamucil than meta memes, this post’s not for you (I recommend any of the 1,345,483 website dedicated to bowel health). Otherwise, check out Alex Taylor III’s “Readers revolt over Ford.” Fortune‘s carmudgeon apologizes for the grievous sin of suggesting that Ford’s product quality may be middling. “As I should have explained more fully in the [previous] column, the 2010 rankings averaged reports from CR readers on all the cars in a given company’s lineup. Ford’s results were pulled down by the poor performance of the F-250 pickup truck and the troubled all-wheel-drive systems on Ford passenger cars.” And that information should be excluded because . . . ? “While my column was technically accurate, it didn’t pass the smell test with readers who thought I showed bias against American cars.” Question: what the hell is going on here?

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I’ve just spent five fun-filled days looking after two flu-filled sprogs whilst suffering from the selfsame porcine virus. And on the sixth day, I took my wife to the ER to stop, well, you don’t want to know (nor does she want me to tell you). Although I’ve managed to avoid buying a “I just spent five fun-filled days looking after two flu-filled sprogs and all I got was this lousy T-shirt” t-shirt, my experience has piqued my interest in media coverage of the viral outbreak. The MSM has decided that this is big story because 150 children have died from the swine flu. One-hundred and fifty? As a father, my heart goes out to the kids’ families. That said, “On any given day nearly 700 children are harmed due to accidents on our roadways,” Seattle personal injury lawyer Christopher M. Davis writes. “Of the 250,000 kids injured each year, approximately 2,000 die from their injuries. Children make up about 5% of total fatalities due to car accidents. In fact, for children between the ages of 2 and 14, motor vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death. . . The failure to wear a seat belt or use a child safety seat is a contributing factor in more than half of the cases involving children who die in car accidents.” As the Dixie Chicks were wont to sing, there’s your trouble.

Among the 15,000 Maryland state employees who drive on area toll roads without paying are judges, lawmakers and powerful bureaucrats. The Maryland Politics Watch website used a freedom of information request in August to discover that 128 of 188 legislators took advantage of a perquisite giving officials a scrutiny and bill-free E-ZPass transponder—despite already receiving a $600 yearly travel expense allowance from taxpayers. After being exposed, the General Assembly leadership moved to limit the fallout by abruptly canceling the program on September 25.

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I have no idea when someone somewhere decided that there was some kind of safety problem with gas pumps offering a locking clip at the end of the nozzle. You know, the little metal doo-hickey that lets you take your hand off the pump while the car fills with gas, then kicks back to let you know it’s done. I suppose someone somewhere experienced a clip failure. I imagine gas poured onto the ground. I have a hard time believing that the result was a lethal conflagration, but a million monkeys and all that. Perhaps it was the idea of an inferno that led to their ban; the relevant bureaucrat having seen Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” as a kid. Meanwhile, here in the Ocean State, we have to physically squeeze the trigger on the nozzle until the tank’s full. As fellow SUV owners will attest, that can be a long time. Anyone who doesn’t live in the desert or the Deep South will also tell you that pumping gas in sub-zero weather is painful enough to make an Antarctic explorer nostalgic. Tall people have to stoop. Weak people have to strain. Nervous people have to stand still. All for the lack of a single piece of metal. If we can put a man on the moon (and I know you and I were deeply involved in that venture), why can’t we (and now I’m talking about you rather than me) design a gas pump that doesn’t require so much human effort?

You may remember Mercedes’ last attempt at a “price no object” supercar: the Mercedes McLaren SLR. It was a thundering achievement, but the big Merc’s brakes were as touchy as an seventy-year-old Argentinian security officer at a Truth and Reconciliation hearing. That’s a guardrail of not good. There were other “issues”: leg room, trunk space (or a complete lack thereof), steering feel, road noise, autobox only and the fact that Paris Hilton owned one. Truth be told, the SLR was compromised from the git-go; McLaren designers were hamstrung by the car’s front mid-engined layout. The project left a bitter taste in both companies’ metaphorical mouths. McLaren went its own way and built its own supercar (whose American debut has been delayed). Mercedes took a clean sheet of paper to their in-house tuning wizards, AMG. For some unfathomable reason, TTAC wasn’t invited to the press event to drive the SLS AMG. But we can read. And when Car and Driver complains about a car’s handling, you know there’s trouble in fluss stadt.

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Diners at the Motown bailout banquet are back at their tables, their plates groaning under the weight of federal “investment.” They’re just now beginning to tuck in, spending your hard-earned money on various plans to achieve what Oliver called “that full-up feeling.” The reluctant chefs (70 percent of American opposed GM and Chrysler’s second bailout) are showing signs of nausea. While the anti-GM/Chrysler bailout backlash has not been statistically analyzed (I wonder why), anecdotal evidence suggests that at least a small percentage of car buyers are shunning the welfare queens’ products as a protest against their government “affiliation.” Meanwhile, political analysts on both sides of the spectrum continue to debate the elections in Maryland and New Jersey, wondering if voters are rejecting the Obama administration’s heavy-handed economic intervention in the U.S. economy. Did I say “heavy-handed?” Plenty of pundits believe that not only did Uncle Sam have every right to nationalize GM and Chrysler, but they didn’t go far enough. What’s that all about?

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