German PR people are my friends. This from abt:

A modern SUV must cut a good figure everywhere—and according to this motto, ABT Sportsline has successfully tuned the Audi models Q7 and Q5 as well as the VW Tiguan and Touareg. A particularly stylish element has now been added to the expressive, powerfully-dominant bodywork kits, which have been developed for the diverse quartet: the stainless steel ABT side step set. This silver design piece gives vehicles even more robust flair, without losing the overall elegant-sporty look. The integrated side steps are not just cool, and do not only perfectly fit the strong character of the Q7, Tiguan, Touareg and Q5, but they also offer maximum side protection against, for example, scratches. In addition the ABT side steps also increase the comfort when getting into the car, which makes sense for these comparatively high vehicles. On top of this the thorough cleaning of the windscreen is also made easier. And thanks to the anti-slip coating, secure footing is guaranteed.

Hmmm. One wonders about the veracity of LaNeve’s excuse for allowing “nearly” 60 dealers to avoid termination. Who created the “incorrect or inaccurately reported dealership financial data” upon which their second lease on life was—allegedly—based? Given that dealers fighting for their survival wouldn’t under-report their financial data, common sense suggestd GM’s auditors are responsible for the, dare I say it, mistake. So, how did GM screw it up for “nearly” 60 dealers? And surely that boner throws doubt on the rest of the dealer appraisals (view criteria here). Fuel for the fire for H.R. 2743. In short, GM is still run by the Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight. Make the jump for official dealer com from Dr. Death. [Thanks to you-know-who-you-are for the email.]

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In 50 to 100 years. But don’t let that un-alarm you. The New York Times parrots—I mean reports—on a new study by the Obama Administration’s U.S. Global Change Research Program. The report predicts a list of bad, bad things that are going to happen thanks to “unequivocal” global warming. Hang on, are they implying that there’s another kind? Anyway, the Gray Lady points out that “Earlier cuts [in greenhouse has emissions] will be more effective than comparable later cuts, the document adds. Without efforts to limit emissions, the United States could warm 7 to 11 degrees Fahrenheit by the end of the century. Cutting emissions could hold that increase to just 4 to 6.5 degrees Fahrenheit.” Balmy, barmy or Barney?

We just received this e-mail from a TTAC commentator’s friend in the SJPD.

Just finished working 6 shifts in San Jose. I can say from the front lines, stolen cars, burglaries, vandalism and theft are significantly up from where they were a few years ago. The bad times are back. I recommend you exercise higher than normal precautions regarding the security of your property and person. This story is just one example. It probably won’t make the papers but on one shift we had four trucks where the catalytic converters were stolen. Go figure. I also took more than the usual rate of stolen car reports. And if you think they’re stealing luxury cars, think again. The cars stolen were all worth between $300 and $4000. They were all parked on public streets in front of residences. Robberies are up. People are hungry and mean again. Take care and be safe out there.

[Update: Oops, time for a reading comprehension lesson. Sorry for the confusion.]

FYI, from the attendant press release:

Sir Peter Blake sold limited edition prints from his VXR8 Bathurst S to a queue that stretched all the way round the bootfair.

Artist ‘Swifty’ paid homage to his favourite car by selling a limited edition run of Vauxhall Viva prints out of the boot of a Vauxhall heritage vehicle; Nick Reynolds hit the credit crunch theme with recession piggy banks, and Pure Evil donned a five door Astra to sell his distinctive prints.

Rising star of the fashion world William Tempest adorned his Agila with boot fair bunting and created heat-sensitive mugs for £10 a go whilst Pam Hogg was radiant in her glitter ball Vauxhall Tigra covered with over 2,500 mirrored mosaics. Meanwhile, Rubbish magazine patrolled the area with Karl Lagerfeld inspired fashion police and doling out fashion advice from their designer handbag styled Vauxhall Corsa.

When GM CEO Fritz Henderson logged-in for a live media-only chat on GM’s FastLane blog, the headline takeaway was “I am not a fan of rebadging.” Ha! Since returning to the scene of the crime, I’ve discovered that there’s plenty of other grist for a zombie watcher’s mill—such as the fact that Henderson appeared eleven minutes late. The first words off his keyboard: “I am here.” I would have gone for “Je pense, donc je suis,” only I don’t think GM’s main man knows the difference between badonk and donc. Henderson starts with a defense of the Hail Mary-ette Chevrolet Cruze that sounds a lot like a PR spiel from 1976 (Chevy Vega). It goes downhill from there.

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Robert — If dealers do not sign the wind-down agreements, their sales and service agreement will not be renewed in 2010, and they will not be eligible for GM assistance. However, to date, we have 99% completion of these agreements.

–John McDonald
GM Spokesman
Detroit

However?
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As you’ve no doubt guessed, the above quote comes courtesy of an Obama administration official. Showing infinite reserves of credulity and restraint, the Detroit News straight-up reports that “Larry Summers, the White House’s chief economic adviser, said in an interview that Congress shouldn’t interfere in the running GM and Chrysler . . . ‘We’ve been very clear that companies needed to be run commercially, rather than politically.'” Although I was recently, correctly admonished by several of our Best and Brightest for profanity, I’m going to use my last expletive here: that’s fucking awesome.

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GM dealer Jack Fitzgerald is not happy about losing some of his franchises. Unlike GM CEO Fritz Henderson, Fitzgerald has set forth a graphic-laden argument (PDF viewable online here) defending his position on the dealer cull. Here’s why Jack reckons we need H.R. 2743, mandating car dealer-protection:

As Congress and the Administration consider various proposals to restore the rights of affected auto dealers, I want to share with you the context for making such decisions. We believe that there was a fundamentally flawed analysis of the domestic auto industry that led to a misguided decision to close numerous dealerships and which will add to the nation’s unemployment misery.

Right now, Congress has before it a legislative proposal that would restore dealers’ economic rights and permit a case-by-case assessment of our dealerships. It is the best way to correct what has occurred and to put our industry on a path to growth and employment opportunities instead of the path of cannibalism, economic dislocation, and a downward spiral for the U.S. auto industry as a whole as consumers react to being abused.

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This morning, bankrupt automaker General Motors, their failed SAAB subsidiary, low-volume independent automaker Koenigsegg, and the Swedish government signed a deal for Saab’s future. Oh yeah, and some guy named Mark Bishop, an “American investor.” Who he? Can you say “junk bonds” and “sub-prime”? But before we look at Bishop’s CV, let’s break this deal down to its constituent parts . . .

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Am I the only one who misread this Autoblog headline? Yes, I read “porno” instead of “promo.” So, yes, my mind is in the gutter. But so is Detroit. Autoblog’s wistful nostalgia does absolutely nothing to convey the horror of modern-day Motown. For that, you need to turn to the Wall Street Journal. Their article about the death of retail in the Motor City is, perhaps, one of the most depressing dispatches from the Motown Meltdown that I’ve ever read. To wit: “Last week, Lochmoor Chrysler Jeep on Detroit’s East Side stopped selling Chrysler products, one of the 789 franchises Chrysler Group LLC is dropping from its retail network. It was Detroit’s last Chrysler Jeep store . . . Hundreds of buildings were left vacant by the nearly one million residents who have left. Thousands of businesses have closed since the city’s population peaked six decades ago . . . Meanwhile, the former Lochmoor Chrysler Jeep is now Lochmoor Automotive Group, a used-car dealership and repair shop. Gina Russo, daughter of the dealer’s longtime owner, is being groomed to take over the family business. She has agreed to start selling small pickup trucks made by India’s Mahindra & Mahindra Ltd.”

File this one under “You’re Talking a Lot, But You’re Not Saying Anything.” The Detroit News‘ “wide ranging” interview Presidential Task Force on Automobiles (PTFOA) jefe Steve Rattner’s ranges entirely over well-trodden ground. In fact, you’ve got to give the DetN credit for publishing an entire pow-wow with the man behind the meltdown without revealing a GD thing. Well, other than the between the lines stuff. Like the “I’m a car guy now” subtext to this lump of coal: “We found that the game plan that we had designed back in the March time period actually worked,” “Chooch” Rattner told the Detroit News. “It’s like you build a new car and you take it out and you test drive it and it actually works. It made us feel pretty good going into GM — even though we know GM is bigger and more complicated — that we should be able to accomplish a similar result albeit over a slightly longer period of time.” I like that sense of surprise: this thing actually works! Wing and a prayer GM engineering at its best. Anyway, more . . .

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As a shareholder in New New Chrysler, I’m not happy to hear that Fiat doesn’t have firm idea when Chrysler will resume production. On the other hand, the whole Chrysler food chain is broken, from factories that have no reason to exist to dealers who’ve been terminated with extreme prejudice, and all the suppliers in between. But here’s the kicker. This quote arrives accompanied by the glad tidings that the Conner Avenue plant is back on-line! Our Best and Brightest will know that this is the factory that makes the Dodge Viper, the over-powered death car that Chrysler wanted to sell to some poor sucker as a discreet business. But couldn’t. More indignity? Automotive News [sub]: “On May 15, Chrysler received a $5.5 million offer from Devon Motor Works to buy the Viper operation, with no assumption of liabilities, and to lease the plant for one year. Devon Motors was founded by Scott Devon, CEO of Cole’s Quality Foods Inc., of Grand Rapids, Mich., a maker of frozen garlic bread and toast, a receptionist at Cole’s said at the time.” Well, she should know.

TTAC has it on good authority (without independent confirmation) that GM is moving forward with plans to import 30,000 Zeta-platformed Holdens per year from Australia to sell to US police agencies. Our source is not privy to the whys and wherefores. “I’m not sure why they don’t use existing capacity at the Camaro plant in Canada,” our source admits. “I can only assume GM needed to somehow replace the G8 capacity.” By the same token, he “can’t imagine this will make the federal government or taxpayers too happy.” Unless, tin foil hat wearers, the feds already knew, as this G8 invasion was part of the 17,205 “domestic” vehicles ordered under the auspices of the economic stimulus package. US jobs? Nuh-uh.