CTV.ca reports that GM emailed 245 of its 700 Canadian dealerships notifying them that they’re the biggest losers. According to CNNMoney, this time ’round, GM isn’t basing its dealer downsizing on simple volume. “The auto maker said that, due to the ‘unique aspects’ of the Canadian dealer network, its rationalization efforts will focus on key urban markets. ‘The end result in Canada will be a more competitive dealer network with higher volumes, while continuing to maintain the strongest and broadest dealer network in the country better equipped to serve GM customers.'” In theory. In practice, this is only the General’s opening salvo. The friendly fire is sure to get worse when GM files for C11 at the end of the month.

“Congress already made sure corn ethanol was protected from any scientific assessment of its impact on the environment when it passed the 2007 Energy Independence and Security Act. Buried in the law are provisions that exempt every gallon of corn ethanol from the requirement to reduce greenhouse gases that all other biofuels have to meet to qualify as a ‘renewable fuel.'” So reporteth Minnesota’s Startribune.com, while ripping hometown pol House Agriculture Committee Chairman, Collin Peterson, a new you-know-what. The paper’s plenty pissed at Petersen’s threat to torpedo Obama’s climate change legislation—unless the EPA gives ethanol a “get out of jail free” card for its tendency to increase global warming. Careful readers will now note the quote that initiated this blog and notice that Petersen’s asking for a free pass that the industry already enjoys. Never mind. Hell hath no fury like a legislator protecting his sponsors.

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RLS1400 recently bought a used Mazda from Ramsey Chrysler Dodge. The sales manager just sent him this e-mail:

Hello, My name is Regis J. Larkin Jr. and I am a sales manager with Ramsey Chrysler Dodge and Jeep. I would like to take the time to tell you why you should buy your next domestic product from us. Contrary to all the negative propaganda in the media let me be the one to assure you we are going nowhere. The fact alone that the PRESIDENT of these UNITED STATES BECAME DIRECTLY INVOLVED IN OUR RESTRUCTURING SHOULD SAY A LOT. THINK ABOUT THAT. THEY ARE SO SURE ABOUT US AND OUR PRODUCT THEY ARE GUARANTEEING OUR LIFE TIME WARRANTIES. Thats pretty aggressive don’t you think. In the coming weeks a lot of smaller dealers will be closing. However RAMSEY CHRYSLER DODGE AND JEEP will be going nowhere. In fact we are in the process of redoing our showroom for your comfort and convenience. During times like these we must stand together AS AMERICANS.

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I reckon it’s a nonsensical question. Again, President Obama’s new Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) regulations are nothing more than fantasy pandering. By the time the feds factor in ethanol and (inevitable) electric vehicle credits, calculate the “footprint” requirements (per given vehicle type and size), average those out across a given manufacturer’s fleet, and do the hokey-cokey, the CAFE standards will look like swiss cheese. Just like the current ones. In fact, I think it’s awesome that the MSM got so worked-up—in a gloating sort of way—about EPA CAFE. Holy smokes! The industry doesn’t oppose federally mandated fuel efficiency? Motown’s CEOs were in the Rose Garden for the announcement? Despite this media love fest, USA Today just couldn’t resist ye olde “Safety could suffer if we boost mileage by making cars smaller” shtick. Hey, how ’bout these apples?

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A member of our Best and Brightest spotted this letter to the editor on the American Thinker website. While plenty of industry watchers could have seen ChryCo’s meltdown coming—DID see it coming—it’s still a failure with a human face. And here it is.

My name is George C. Joseph. I am the sole owner of Sunshine Dodge-Isuzu, a family owned and operated business in Melbourne, Florida. My family bought and paid for this automobile franchise 35 years ago in 1974. I am the second generation to manage this business.

We currently employ 50+ people and before the economic slowdown we employed over 70 local people. We are active in the community and the local chamber of commerce. We deal with several dozen local vendors on a day to day basis and many more during a month. All depend on our business for part of their livelihood. We are financially strong with great respect in the market place and community.  We have strong local presence and stability.

I work every day the store is open, nine to ten hours a day. I know most of our customers and all our employees. Sunshine Dodge is my life.

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Well, not officially. Officially, I’d be extremely surprised if GM doesn’t follow decades of precedent and save its ultimate bad news for either Friday (the 29th of May) or the weekend (a Sunday electronic filing). That said, the practice was designed to give the markets the weekend not to flip out about the latest red ink tsunami, fire sale, asset sale, etc. By now the market couldn’t give a shit, knowing as it does that General Motors stock is about to be completely worthless. Still, a new GM filing with the SEC [full press release after the jump] reveals that The General will report the failure to secure “debt reduction agreements” with the UAW and bondholders on May 27. Once that’s done, well, it’s all over bar the shouting.

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Bloomberg is all over Bill Reinert’s presentation to a National Academy of Sciences panel today in Washington. And why not? Toyota’s US national manager for advanced technology says plug-in hybrid vehicles are a non-starter. “Toyota estimates sales of hybrids that can be recharged at household outlets may be 50,000 units a year at most and could be as few as 3,500.” Not expressed: those kind of numbers wouldn’t even pay the HVAC bill for the building where Chevy engineers are busy trying to cobble together the new plug-in electric/gas hybrid Volt. Reinert’s not dancing on the Volt’s grave, but that’s only because it’s not dead. Yet. But the signs—admittedly as provided by the vehicle’s competitors—are not good.

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The Toronto Star reports that Canadian Auto Workers (CAW) president Ken Lewenza is repeating his call for import restrictions to protect his members’ livelihoods. But the chairman of the union’s bargaining committee isn’t making it a “do or die” precondition for Canadian bailout bucks for GM. “The union has repeatedly told Ottawa to fix the trade problem and limit imports, but Buckley would not comment on whether the federal and Ontario governments should refuse GM’s current requests for loans if the company plans to increase imports here.” Meanwhile, Lewenza said there are “multiple proposals for active workers which are much different” than what Chrysler employees recently accepted—so that company could qualify for Canadian aid. That said, “We are close to the end of our ability to give . . . Sooner or later, GM and the federal and provincial governments will realize that.” Reassuringly enough, there is some common ground: both (all?) sides agree that GM’s pension plan is in far worse shape than Chrysler’s after years of minimal contributions, made possible by a special provision in provincial legislation. See how that works?

Speaking with the New York Times, Ford Marketing maven Jim Farley had some soothing words for Ford dealers: we’re not going to cap yo ass [paraphrasing]. Yet [extrapolating]. Farley’s also taking the opportunity to hammer home Ford’s mantra: we didn’t take government money, so we’re cool, right? This time, Farley went further, predicting that FoMoCo could benefit from the death of those Detroit automakers who did/do. “Mr. Farley was particularly critical of the Chrysler plan, noting how it would affect millions of consumers with little warning. ‘It seems very abrupt and unplanned,’ he said. ‘You don’t orphan four million customers overnight without some fallout.’ Some of those customers, primarily those in rural areas, will migrate to Ford dealerships, he said. ‘It really depends on how G.M. and Chrysler handle these orphan owners,’ he said. ‘If they don’t give them a lot of attention, it will result in consumers going to other brands.’” Hint. Hint. Of course, there be dragons. And Farley knows it.

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According to Forbes, German automaker Daimler has purchased a 10 percent stake in Silicon Valley’s EV sweetheart, Tesla Motors. “The two companies are already working together on using Tesla’s lithium-ion battery packs and charging electronics in Daimler’s electric version of its two-seat Smart car. The stake’s value was not disclosed, but [Daimler’s R&D meister Thomas] Weber said it was in the double-digit millions.” Don’t you just love it when German managers go all coy about their American acquisitions, like, say, when Daimler bought Chrysler? Of course, we mustn’t forget Musk. Announcing the news, Elon did what he does best: pile on the hype. “Tesla Chief Executive Elon Musk said in a statement that the partnership would help it bring the Tesla Model S car to production faster and ‘ensure that it is a superlative vehicle on all levels.'” Excuse me? Other than providing cash for battery packs for the Smart, where’s the bit about Mercedes helping Tesla develop the Model S? Oh maybe it’s something to do with this . . .

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The fact that Chrysler is [still] offering buyouts to its United Auto Workers (UAW) employees is not news. The fact that this money is coming from the federal government is also no biggie, actuality-wise. I mean, whose money did you THINK they were using? But the Detroit Free Press report that ChryCo has upped its cash-and-a-car offer to its unionized veterans—to convince them not work at the bankrupt automaker’s closed factories—is a bit odd. Yes, “The autoworkers are now being offered up to $115,000 plus a $25,000 vehicle voucher to leave Chrysler voluntarily. The larger lump-sum payment, which was increased from $75,000 in earlier buyouts, is available to workers under 50 years old who have 10 or more years of seniority. Workers 50 or older who qualify for some pension benefits won’t receive that type of onetime payment. But those with 30 years, or whose age and years together exceed 85, will receive $50,000 plus the $25,000 voucher for a new Chrysler vehicle.” And here’s the kicker . . .

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I’m no stranger to this ungodly hour. Having raised four daughters, I know why the early bird gets the worm: Lumbricus Terrestris hasn’t had time for a cup of coffee. Still, needs must. TTAC may have crested 1m viewers per month, but we’re still eyeball based. Our survival still depends on ad revenue. So we need to give as many potential readers as possible a “taste.” Hence the early hour. I’m about to get picked up by a local car service to take me to a radio station to argue against CAFE standards and for a gas tax. Should be fun. Tell all your friends! Well the ones with small children. Thanks. [click here to listen to the interview on WNYC Radio and Public Radio International’s “The Takeaway”]