Well, duh. I mean, there could always be a planet killing meteor strike or something. But I wouldn’t count on it. Anyway, GM CEO Fritz Henderson left little doubt that May 31 is all she wrote in terms of GM’s ability to forestall the end of its glide-path into bankruptcy. “It is probable,” Fritz told Bloomberg. “Any trip through bankruptcy court must be fast, Henderson said today. It’s also important for GM to be able to make speedier decisions,” he said. What IS IT with this guy and speedy decisions? More haste, less speed, Mr. Henderson. Alternatively and inevitably, step aside and let the Big Boys git ‘er done. Meanwhile, how long before GM is de-listed from the stock exchange?
Don’t look at me. I already gave at the office. Gentlemen, I refer you to the $5 billion already allocated to prop up automotive suppliers attached to domestic car makers with an umbilical chord made of piano wire. OK, that particular area of the bailout buffet table is shrouded in red tape at the moment. But do the suppliers seriously expect Uncle Sam to stump-up some $8.3 billion per year for the next four years to help them keep the lights on? That’s how much cash they’ll need, according to a new study by A.T. Kearney. And Kearney’s boys reckon they’ll get it. “A disorderly wind-down of key suppliers could also potentially shut other OEMs,” A.T. Kearney partner, Dan Cheng, said in the PR release accompanying the tome. And he expects the government will do “everything it can” to help the industry. Ready for the kicker?
Chrysler has come within 11 dealers of confirming media reports that it would terminate 800 US dealers (dowload pdf list of 789 terminated ChyrCo dealers here). This as the bankrupt automaker steps-up its efforts to satisfy its federal overlords and prepare for Fiat’s command and control. Oh, and emerge from C11 as a viable automaker. Automotive News [AN, sub] has intercepted a memo from the corporate mothership highlighting the company’s care and concern towards the dead stores not selling. “Dealers are learning of their fate via UPS letters to be delivered this morning, the memo says. Dealers will get 23 business days for a ‘court review’ of their cases, according to the memo, from a sales manager to district dealers. ”All of this information is subject to change,” the memo says. Music to the dealers’ lawyers’ ears, presumably. Meanwhile, NADA . . .
You may remember that TTAC almost just about virtually proved that Chrysler CEO Bob “I Heart Pasta” Nardelli jumped on a corporate jet to fly from Motown to the City of Brotherly Love (then was driven in an EV mule to D.C.), to attend the second round of bailout hearings. This after The Big 2.8 execs (as they were at the time) flew straight into “jet-gate,” where reporters hammered them for Gulfstreaming to the bailout buffet. Far be it for me to repeat such lazy journalistic innuendo (oops), but the thick plotzes, as the Detroit Free Press reports that ChryCo is asking permission to terminate its leases on not one but two mighty fine Gulfstreams: a $38 million Gulfstream 450 and a $55 million Gulfstream 550. Leases, eh? “Chrysler took possession of them Jan. 1, 2008. It put up a $3.6 million security deposit on the 450 and a $5.3 million deposit on the 550. The automaker is seeking to apply the deposits to its seven-year lease obligations.” Awesome.
Actor Tom Hanks recently defended himself against the New Yorker, who called him out on his appearance in “Who Killed the Electric Car?” Here’s his letter to the editor:
Peter J. Boyer, in his otherwise spot-on piece about the car industry, assumes that I once leased G.M.’s sadly fated EV1 electric car and, like other drivers of that twin-seat rocket of a vehicle, watched the emission-free car be wrested from my garage, towed away, and busted up into pieces of metal, glass, and rubber smaller than razor blades (“The Road Ahead,” April 27th). Luckily, I did not. The source of Boyer’s slight inaccuracy may have been the documentary film “Who Killed the Electric Car?,” which used a clip of a visit I made to the “Late Show with David Letterman,” during which I claimed to be saving America one electric car at a time. However, by the time I began shopping for an all-electric car, in 2003, the EV1 had already been yanked from showrooms as if the car had never existed. Instead, I found what was purported to be the very last electric car available for sale in the state of California—a Toyota EV. It had four doors, a rear hatch, room for my family, including a dog in the back, power windows, A/C, a great sound system, and the fastest, most effective windshield defroster known to mankind. When the car companies collectively, and, to some, diabolically, decided to take these cars back, the electric vehicles disappeared. But not mine. I have the pink slip. I own that car, and it is still driven every day, albeit by one of my crack staff of employees. My electric car recently crossed fifty thousand miles on the odometer with its original battery but without so much as a splash of gasoline.
“Whilst? Are you actually British, or are you just an inbred Appalachian hillbilly moonshiner?” That one didn’t make it through the moderating process. Until now. In the normal course of events, I delete any comments that attack TTAC’s editorial stance or style, and invite the commentator to discuss our choices off-line. Rest assured, I can stand the heat. It’s just that meta comments rapping TTAC’s “bias” or piss-poor prose—rather than focusing on the content itself—drag the comment section off-topic. (It’s not all about us.) Normally, comments like “why did you publish that” and “your writing sucks” constitute a small percentage of the total number deleted. But as Detroit’s defenders have had something of a wake-up call, I’m not encountering as many “See you at Death Watch 23,344 asshole!” and “Fuck you you import-loving faggot” remarks. Which gives us a little breathing room to address the stance and style issues. I’ll explain myself after the jump. But feel free to diss our writing or content choices below without their consideration. And for this post, the no-flame rule is suspended (within reason).
There’s really only question remaining: can GM make it to the end of the month? As the artist formerly known as “the world’s largest automaker” augurs-in for its official face plant, the market is readying for a total wipe out, sending The General’s share price to a buck a pop. Which is, as we all know, about a dollar too much. “Experts have said that GM’s stock is overpriced,” USA Today reports, “considering that the automaker’s debt-restructuring plan will leave current shareholders with just a 1% stake in the reconstituted company.”
I’m beginning to like the environment. First, the greens spiked Charles “Double Nickel” Hurley’s nomination for the top slot at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). As we reported earlier, Hurley’s federal pension plans came a cropper for daring to suggest that larger cars were safer than fuel misers (at the IIHS, back in the day). Now, tree huggers have torpedoed the current cash-for-clunkers bill. Reuters reports that California Senator Dianne Feinstein, a friend of the Friends of the Earth, is not happy with the compromise cash-for-clunkers bill.
There’s a clever headline in there somewhere. Meanwhile, Automotive News [sub] reports that the Obama administration has abandoned plans to nominate the CEO of Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) to head the National Highway Safety Transportation Administration (NHTSA). Although neither the White House nor Charles Hurley’s MADD men (and women) are saying Jack about the decision, it appears Hurley ran afoul of . . . environmentalists. “His potential nomination had been criticized by environmentalists such as Dan Becker, director of the Safe Climate Campaign. Becker cited Hurley’s work at the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety in the 1990s, when he said Hurley backed car companies that were fighting attempts to reduce vehicle size to improve fuel economy.” I guess they forget that TTAC took Hurley to task for his support of reintroducing the double-nickel speed limit, his close ties to the red light camera industry and his insistence that piloting a vehicle with a .04 BAC constitutes drunk driving. Still, the end result is what counts. Oh, and I nominate Bill Broadhead for the job.
The moment the Chrysler – Fiat hookup was announced, savvy pistonheads nasally ejected their coffee. Chrysler and FIAT? That’s like throwing a drowning man an anvil. Ignoring the brands’ history of complete crapitude, the mainstream media took the idea seriously. Their complicity/complacency has done wonders for the executives and elected officials in charge of this epic non-starter, but it does nothing to serve the public interest. After all, we’ve got to pay for this turkey. Now that Chrysler is about to axe dealers, permanently shutter plants, fire union workers and ditch a big ass chunk of their pensions and benefits, the MSM is beginning to consider the possibility that the deal sucks. Or, as the ever-faithful Detroit News puts it, “After bankruptcy, Chrysler still faces uncertain future.” Ya think?
I recently received an email from former Saab blog owner, current Saab blogger and past TTAC contributor, Steven Wade. Mr. Wade wants to know who TTAC’s Best and Brightest would like to see taking over Saab in the future. He also asked me to ask you who you think WILL take over Saab in the future. [Answers below please.] As part of our exchange, I teased Mr. Wade into admitting he was wrong to disparage me for disparaging GM’s pre-C11 turnaround plans. But don’t get to thinking Wade is ready for his Cassandra Watch. Oh no, far from it. In his most recent entry on Saabs United, Wade put his imprimatur on a wild ass rumor of Olympian proportions. Swedish newspaper Expressen suggests that GM CEO Fritz Henderson is reluctant to sell Saab to, uh, anyone because the new 9-5 is so good he’s afraid it will compete with post-C11 GM’s offerings. Apparently.
“8 Mile” rapper, Eminem, may not be Detroit’s most famous son, but it’s not for lack of trying. Or, for that matter, posturing. The recording artist has decided that the effect of the Motown meltdown on the working stiff is top notch fodder for the hang dog (or is that Snoop Dog?) side of his public persona. Marshall Mathers was born in a pleasant middle class suburb and earned $18 million or so last year notwithstanding. Obviously. But penning a paean to pistonhead paradise lost isn’t enough for our boy, he’s got to bring it. Well, them. Two hundred of them. TV Squad [via Yahoo! via the Detroit Free Press] reports that Eminem is transporting 200 unemployed Detroit workers to the set of “Jimmy Kimmel Live” this Friday just to prove a point: he’s a man of the people and his new album is dope. No, wait; that’s not it. I’ve got it! Wall Street has screwed all the selfless, salt of the earth automotive workers who’ve never heard of Eminem and, other than the free food, booze, and flight this stunt entails, wouldn’t cross the street to give Marshall the time of day. Nor him them. So I guess it’s a wash. Peace out, yo.
Yes, it’s a post about something other than the feds getting the US taxpayer to squeal like a pig to save Chrysler and GM from the uncomfortable lesson that actions have—OMG—consequences. In fact, the closer we get to the Big Kahuna of GM’s C11, the more determined I am to provide car-related posts. After a regrettable hiatus, car reviews, both large and small, are back. “Piston Slap” and “Hammer Time” continue apace (thanks, guys). And I’m bound and determined to get some more product reviews headed your way. In that spirit of “Oh, yeah, life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone,” here’s the inside dope on GT5, via escapistmagazine.com, after le jump. Spock! Damage control! It appears we are not digitally configured for damage, Captain. That’s a relief. Indeed. Bones. Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a videogame producer. I can’t just add source code like that! The whole game could lock up and crash. Do what you can.
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