In “General Motors Death Watch 251,” I suggested that The Presidential Task Force on Automobiles (PTFOA) terminate GM’s entire management “team” and replace them with fresh talent. Easier said than done. The number of people qualified to run a car company may stretch to a couple of dozen. But it may not. The number of executives who’d want to run GM—or Chrysler or GMAC—is some fraction of that number. Finding board members for these federally administered companies will easier, but not easy.  As The Wall Street Journal‘s pet expert points out, “Executives and directors at these companies will have to balance obligations to taxpayers and other shareholders, all the while under close scrutiny by Congress and the media. Directors ‘are in an impossible position,’ said Charles Elson, head of the Weinberg Center for Corporate Governance at the University of Delaware’s business school. ‘No one who has much sense will want to put themselves in that position.'” Oh, and did we mention? Your salary would be capped. Can’t upset the voters. Evil bankers and all that. Still, that’s why recruiters SpencerStuart and Ennis Knupp & Associates get the big bucks, courtesy of you-know-who (hint: you).

“G.M. is very different than Chrysler,” said Rahm Emanuel, President Obama’s chief of staff. “But I suppose the one lesson for G.M., and all the other players, is that this is a moment when a Democratic president said, ‘I am really willing to let a company dissolve, and there’s not going to be an open checkbook.’ There’s got to be real viability.” Huh? I was under the impression that this was the moment when a Democratic president said “I am NOT really willing to let a failed automaker dissolve. Uncle Sam’s checkbook is as open as a hooker’s gams. For the sake of political expediency, there’s got to be pretend viability.” Of course, it’s much worse than that. The White House has caught Detroit disease, where stupid decisions vie with no decisions for supremacy, leaving the status quo bruised and battered, but triumphant.

Seems like our old pal Jerry York is back in play. You may remember Mr. York as the turnaround expert, ex-ChryCo exec, rep for aspiring GM owner Kirk “The Lion of Las Vegas” Kerorian and former activist member of GM’s Board of Directors. It’s the penultimate of these which applies here: Captain Kirk’s main man tried to broker a deal between GM and Renault back in the summer of ’06. The merger fell afoul of then-GM CEO “Red Ink” Rick Wagoner, who’s now shivering in hell (albeit without any financial worries). Our sources tell us that Nissan wants to be GM’s Fiat. In other words, it’s looking for the US government to give it a controlling share in GM for no-money-down, putting Carlos “I told you so” Ghosn at the head of the unencumbered GM. I mean GNR (GM – Nissan  – Renault). This one makes a lot of sense. Uncle Sam doesn’t [really] want to run GM, and the Fiat deal will [they hope] provide a template for the GM – Nissan thingie. And, lest we forget, the maxim “everything either grows or dies” applies to both GM and Nissan. Hyundai-Kia just passed Nissan for sixth place in the US new car market.

And another thing. In this internet world of ours, what media outlet would announced the findings of a controversial report without linking to the damn thing? The BBC, for one. “The city’s air quality is well below EU targets and is having a ‘severe impact’ on the NHS, the London Assembly’s Environment Committee said. The research also found that emissions from diesel vehicles remains the main source of pollution. It urged the mayor to take more ‘bold action’ on the issue.” Why is it that whenever a political quango (or the media) calls for “bold action” I want to run the other way? Turns out the headline figure comes from here: “Government estimates suggest that air pollution contributes to around 1,000 premature deaths in London each year, but recent data from the European Environment Agency suggests that this could be closer to 3,000. However, both of these figures are estimations for London, based on calculations from UK figures, since the Committee is not aware of accurate, empirical data for London.” More specifically, here: “recent report from the European Environment Agency indicates that air pollution contributed to 650 deaths per million people in the UK in 2005. This could indicate up to 3,000 deaths for London based on its population.” Science much? Anyway, public transportation (i.e., busses) kills. Who knew?

More documents were filed in the Chrysler bankruptcy case. TTAC ace commentator and bankruptcy briefer, Toxicroach, gives us the 411 on the latest C11 maneuvers:

“Only four events today as of 5 p.m., only one of value. Either I misread prior docket entries or the 5/1/09 hearing was just to set a date for the real hearing, but the hearing on the emergency motions (first day motions is what they have been calling them) will be 5/4/09 at 10 a.m. I imagine it will be a zoo in Courtroom 523 this Monday. Still no bankruptcy ‘fast track’ 363 motion.

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Some Detroiters honest-to-God believe that Chrysler and GM will repay the money “loaned” to them by the federal government. That’s a leap of faith that would have taken Evil Knievel across the Grand Canyon (proper) and on to Maui. But you know what? In all this excitement, I’ve lost track of how many billions we’re actually talking about. I reckon the government’s to-date contribution towards keeping the zombies alive lies just north of $37 billion. That doesn’t include the duo’s share of the $25 billion Department of Energy retooling loans (should they live that long). Or the $5 billion blessed upon GMAC. And the $1.5 billion loaned to the now-defunct Chrysler Financial. Or Canada’s contribution to the kerfuffle. Or the cost of running a 25-member Presidential Task Force on Automobiles. And the phalanx of lawyers employed by same. And the community organizer assigned to help out affected communities with, wait for it, federal funds. And now . . . the rest.

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TTAC’s Johnny-on-the-spot, Toxicroach, is moving offices. But his efforts on your behalf continue apace. This is his summary for the yesterday’s (May 1st) legally action.

“I’m about to pass out and I’m really sore, so please excuse me for the late filing (mine). It doesn’t especially matter since nothing too huge happened yesterday. Chrysler filed the debtor-in-possession motion (download pdf here). The Govt. is offering $4.5 billion to old Chrysler @ 3% interest. That’s $1.8 billion upon the filing of the motion, the rest on approval of the motion. There are a ton of things, and I’m too wiped out to get into every detail (and I’m not sure most of the terms are really newsworthy or unexpected) This, however, is amusing (if you’re of a lawyerly persuasion):

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One of our Best and Brightest pointed us to these “back of the envelope” calculations on the relative costs of running GM’s dealer network. [The comment was originally posted on the DealersEdge website. We’ve republished it here with the author’s permission.]

In a very limited attempt to figure out the savings, I’ve come up with a quickie comparison of just the cost of “reps”, with a number of assumptions. Comparing GM and its 6400 dealers to Toyota and their 1200 dealers (both of which sell almost the same amount of cars). Assuming 2 Reps (one Sales one Fixed) for every 10 dealers (for both manufacturers) and a 1:10 ratio for Supervisory positions of those reps (for both manufacturers) and for the sake of easy calculations, assume 100K Salary average for everyone.

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Bankruptcylitigationblog.com provides its readers—and there’s bound to be a whole new audience these days—with a ChryCo C11 crib sheet. The facts are predictably startling (if that makes any sense). The top 50 unsecured creditors’ claims total $730 million, with total trade at about $1.5 billion. The senior lenders’ claims total $6.9 billion. As you know, Chrysler owes the you, the people, $4 billion for your extremely generous bridge loans to nowhere (secured by a third priority lien). Chrysler owes Cerberus and Damiler AG $2 billion (secured by a second priority lien). Chrysler owes the United Auto Workers VEBA health care fund approximately $8.5 billion. Also highlighted: German automaker Daimler paid $37 billion for Chrysler when it purchased it in 1998. And lost it all. The “smartest guys in the room” (a.k.a. Cerberus) paid $7.4 billion for an 80 percent stake in Chrysler in May 2007. And lost it all. Checking the balance sheet, Chrysler has $52.6 billion in real liabilities, broken into the following categories: Trade and Related Payables ($5.7B), Accrued Expenses and Other Liabilities ($33B) and Financial Liabilities ($13.9B). The bloggers’ summary of the new plan after the jump.

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Announcing Chrysler’s bankruptcy, President Obama vilified the “investment firms and hedge funds” who decided to “hold out for the prospect of an unjustified taxpayer funded bailout.” No, not the existing unjustified taxpayer funded bailout. The new one. “Some demanded twice the return that we bludgeoned the other TARP-supported lenders into accepting.” Obama didn’t say that; but he would have if his daughter had made the same birthday wish as Max Reede. Anyway, it turns out the Presidential Task Force on Automobiles can’t stand losing, they can’t they can’t they cant stand losing, they can’t they can’t they can’t stand losing to hedge funds. “I don’t stand with those who held out when everybody else is making sacrifices,” Obama chided con multo vigore. As intended, Obama’s remarks triggered a shit storm from both his supporters and the business community.

TTAC commentator and bankruptcy lawyer Toxicroach’s hits keep happening. This time, the member of our Best & Brightest sends us a filing by the US government (download pdf here) in support of Fiatsler’s motion to extend its filing (download pdf here).

Check out the Treasury motion in support. I think you will have a laugh a minute with that one. Then you will cry. The lease rejection—quick Google of some of the addresses . . . apparently, $60K a month gets you a Dodge dealership. They are dumping multiple car rental places and dealerships. Must be some pretty lame properties to get rejected on day one.

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TTAC commentator and bankruptcy lawyer Toxicroach reports on another motion (filing extension) in the Chrysler C11 case (download pdf here):

Chrysler are asking for 60 days to file the complete petition. Basically, as far as I can tell, they are trying to get this deal done before they actually have to release any relevant information about the company to the public. They are filing an absolute flurry of motions to get court permission to operate the company . . . but they are trying to act like they can’t fill out the schedules in a timely manner. Stunning. I’m interpreting this as some kind of ruse to keep information private until its no longer relevant.

We have a new sub-series to our new series: the Toxicroach papers. Turns out our longtime member of the TTAC’s Best and Brightest is a bankruptcy lawyer with access to the Chrysler C11 filing. He’s going to present these documents for our edification with some “what’s it all about, Tony?” analysis. We begin with a motion from Chrysler (download pdf here) to do what they should have done a decade or more ago: consolidate.

Check this out—the last half is mostly about them consolidating the 25 cases into one for the sake of efficiency, but the first half lays out in pretty decent detail exactly what the plan is.

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