Carburetors, fuel injection, headlights, satellite radios, ECU, ABS, air conditioning, drive-by-wire— today’s automotive technologies are variations on well-established themes. If “Crazy Henry” Ford resurrected, he’d have little problem driving– or understanding– a modern car. While automakers continue to tweak automotive systems for greater ergonomics, power, fuel economy and reliability; the improvements are evolutionary, not revolutionary. Even alternative powerplants aren’t game changers. But something else is…

The Financial Times confirms the news everyone's been expecting (and endlessly reporting): the Indian conglomerate Tata has been named the "leading bidder" for the coupled Jaguar/Land Rover brands. In other words, the deal is their to lose. While the FT says Tata will enrich Ford's corporate coffers by somewhere between $1.8b and $2.2b, and you can bet we'll hear the words "core business" from Ford on sale day, the sale represents an abject failure/humiliating defeat for FoMoCo. Comments like this have got to hurt: "Efraim Levy, automotive analyst at Standard & Poor’s equity research arm, said Tata would be able to invest in Jaguar and Land Rover in ways Ford could not afford to." More irony: Tata is something akin to India's Ford; the company that's pledged to build a $2,500 car for its domestic market. So why would Tata repeat Ford's mistake? Enquiring minds, like Michael Tyndall at Nomura Securities in London, want to know. “Tata gets recognition on the global scene. You could argue that it gets technology expertise. But … overlap between the two company’s product portfolios is practically zero.” Meanwhile, Ford gets to burn through a few month's more cash. I jest, I jest. Perhaps this heralds the return of Lincoln as more than just "Ford with leather seats."

General Motors has canceled development of it's new Ultra V8, originally set for production at its Tonawanda engine plant. You hurt your what? The little-known Ultra V8 was the engine slated to replace the aging but iconic Northstar V8. Nestling in the noses of big Caddies and the Buick Lucerne, the Northstar has become something of a red-headed step-child: a DOHC humbly going about its business while the small block, pushrod LS3 and LS7 engines screamed for– and got– all the attention. As the Cadillac CTS-V has done right well with the LS6 V8, the General may be itching to try out the LS in other models. While the idea of a pushrod in a luxury car isn't new (think Bentley Arnage), DOHCs are generally considered a better fit for [alleged] luxury brands like Caddy and Buick, owing to their mellower sonic signature and smooth revving nature. Which leaves us with… a Buick with a Corvette engine? It's happened before; the 94-96 Buick Roadmaster had a 265hp version of the LT1 (as did the Caddilac Fleetwood and Chevrolet Impala SS and Caprice).

Buying an Audi sedan without Quattro all wheel-drive is like dating a Swedish brunette. That said, there’s nothing wrong with the right brunette, Bergman movies notwithstanding. And Audi makes and sells plenty of products where only the front wheels are driven, from economy cars to its aufwendig TT. In fact, Audi’s UK website proudly proclaims “a front-wheel-drive car is in principle more controllable and tracks better than conventional rear-wheel drive.” OK then, in advance of the all-new A4 headed our way in '09, let’s have a look at the Audi A4 2.0T and see if we can get past the FWD thing.

Looks like oil isn't the only liquid that will challenge car owners' budgeting skills in the near future. The Ottawa Sun reports that come 2008, a methanol shortage may cause two-fold hikes in the prices of windshield washer fluid. According to the Sun, the Vancouver-based company Methanex, which produces methanol for companies that produce windshield washer, is selling the critical ingredient at $832 per metric tonne, up from a low of $309. The Sun speculates that we may be looking at $5 or $6 a (4L) jug, up from about $3 right now. The cause of the shortage is two-fold: natural gas supplies becoming more difficult to come by and export tariffs imposed by (the methanol-producing nation of) Argentina. With one of the worst winters hitting the North East in 40 years, it seems like perfect timing.

Manitoba is set to become the second province of Canada to adopt the same emissions standards as California. CTV News reports that Manitoba premier Gary Doer– fresh off winning his third election– is hot (so to speak) to make the Canadian province Kyoto compliant. "[Cars] represent 33% of our challenge," says the former corrections officer. Earlier this month, Québec became the first province to adopt California's stringent auto regs, setting average emissions targets that must be attained as early as 2010 (CAFE by any other name?). Doer suggests that Manitoba's measure is only a first step on the way to more stringent federal standards. He notes that having provinces and states enact tailpipe standards produces a piece-meal approach to Kyoto and, thus, reducing greenhouse gas emissions. Readers are invited to gloss over the fact that pollution of any kind has a global scope, not a national one.

Europe is all set to bask in its my-farts-don't-smell green virtuosity– if only Germany would go along for the ride. Easier said than done; the new standard dictates that no car sold in the Eurozone can emit more than 130gm/km by 2012. Mercedes, Porsche and BMW don't build a single gas-powered vehicle that conforms to the new regs. In fact, BMW's lowest petrol-powered CO2 emitter, the 116i, spits out 139gm/km. If the new regs are enacted, the propeller people will have to pay €180 fine for every 116i they sell in the European Union (EU). The situation is not much better at the Volkswagen Group, which shelters high CO2 producer Audi and more than a few gas hogs of its own (e.g. Touareg SUV). Which is why BBC News reports that German Chancellor Angela Merkel called the CO2 limits "not economically favorable." For its part, BMW calls the legislation "naive." Peugeot– which makes a small car or two– joined the German chorus of complaint, suggesting the legislation would give advantage to foreign carmakers residing in countries with less powerful Green movements. Let the lobbying and loopholes begin! [thanks to katiepuckrik for the calculations]

As if diabetes, cardiac problems and the inability to tie one's shoes aren't enough, DAIJIWORLD (West India's gate to the rest of the World) reports that obesity increases a persons chance of fatal injury while in a car. According to a study led by the U.S. Center for Disease Control, the obese tend to have a lower rate of seat belt usage– which translates directly into a higher fatality rate where accidents are concerned. The report could reignite the debate over seat belt extenders, which some manufacturers provide free of charge and some don't, for insurance reasons. (Reported by our own RF for The Detroit News/AP back in '04.) Not surprisingly, one of the sponsors of this research was State Farm. How long before we have to divulge our body-mass-index on insurance forms? 

Last week the credibility of the UK's anti-speeding jihad took a knock, when "Top Traffic Cop" Meredydd (Med) Hughes received a 42-day driving ban for excessive speed (90 in 60). After it was revealed that the camera-crazed cop had two previous speeding convictions, road safety groups criticized the sentence as overly-lenient. But that's nothing as compared to the brouhaha surrounding revelations by the BBC that twenty-six speeding cases against Med's fellow South Yorkshire officers were dropped on a "technicality." The Sun reports that the cops in question refused to admit they were behind the wheel. Oh, sorry, I mean they  couldn't be sure IF they were in the car caught speeding. "Bob Pitt, South Yorkshire branch secretary of the Police Federation, said: 'This is not necessarily a matter of our members refusing to come forward. There will be a lot who have used a police vehicle fleetingly who didn’t realise they had gone through a speed camera and genuinely are unable to say they were the driver at the time.'" Not necessarily a matter of one rule for some, one rule for others. Got it. Of course, if a civilian is caught by a speed camera, the law forces the registered keeper to name the driver at the time of the infraction, or face a fine and imprisonment.

Nothing is more quintessentially British than an old Mini (save fagging at Eton). The new German-owned MINI, on the other hand, is a German car in all but place of manufaktur. In a move that pushes the MINI concept even further away from its spiritual origins, The Globe reveals that a Canadian company will build an estimated 40k of MINI's Don't-call-it-an-SUV SUV in Austria. Canadian auto-parts maker MAGNA CORP has won the contract to build the new "Mini-based Multi-Activity Vehicle" (MBMAV?). As predicted here, it will do so at its Magna-Steyr plant in Graz, Austria, shifting X3 production stateside in 2009. For those of you keeping score at home, MAGNA made a play for Chrysler after it was dumped by Daimler, and recently unionized its work force in advance of a possible second go.