With GM’s recent announcement of $7.6 billion in profits for 2011, you would think that the taxpayers would get a nice chunk of those proceeds.

Well, we’re not even half way to that ship yet. UAW shareholders though are a different story. GM recently announced that they will cut nice thick checks in honor of their UAW shareholders. As much as $7,000 in certain cases.

This will indeed be GM’s largest profit sharing payout in history. The prior high? $1775 per UAW employee in the glory days of 1999. In the meantime Ford plans to fork over $6200 as a maximum. Part of that has been paid out already. As for Chrysler? $1500.

One of my favorite sites to visit is Bobistheoilguy.com. Why may you ask?

Well, it isn’t because of the riveting commentary on various forms of vehicular lubrication. It isn’t the 475th Amsoil ‘associate’ visiting the site to hawk their premium priced wares. It’s not even the never-ending flame wars on Lucas oil products and “fuel treatment” fix-em-ups in a four ounce bottle.

It’s because of the deals on stuff I use. Namely motor oil.

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Back in the late 90’s VW was, “Getting the Bugs Out“. In more ways than one VW had found that special elixir of popularity and hipness that made it a media darling.

Before the flower vase era of VW there was the “Second Coming of Chrysler“. Cab forward designs and horsepower aplenty gave Chrysler a foundation for high profits and massive market gain. If Y2k had indeed ended the world as we knew it, these two automakers would have been memorialized success stories.

Since these Clinton era prodigies, only a few car manufacturers have really broken the ranking order for car companies in the North American market.  Hyundai, Toyota, Subaru and NissanRenault. Hyundai has been the most clearcut beneficiary of modern tastes. However no success story in this business lasts. Just look at VW and Chrysler.

So who do you think will be the next success story of the first half of this decade? Will it be one of the manufacturers already mentioned? Or perhaps some other automaker that has yet to truly flex it’s muscles?

Last weekend I flew into the highly opinionated  world known as Long Island. Within minutes my sensitive Southern ears were exposed to the most strident of views in today’s political world.  These conversations can be summarized in four words, “Yay us! Boo them!”  The usual cheering sections of modern politics.

After gradually listening to the verbal pom-poms over a nice cup of tea, I realized something. I’m no different.

Perish the thought. I may very well believe in several ideas about car buying that are essentially untrue.

Heck, I may even unknowingly promote them at TTAC. So here are 10 opinions I have on car buying. No essays. No glorious soliloquies of pithy summations. Just thoughts with a brief rationale. Let me know if you agree or disagree. I’m handing out free pom-poms in honor of my trip.

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From the good old days of 2007…

“Is that yours?” Millions of car buyers spend billions of dollars hoping that this statement will be born of admiration rather than pity. When these words come out of a car dealer’s mouth at trade-in time, they can be especially hurtful– even if the salesman is as honest as their spiel is long. That’s the moment when most car buyers finally discover whether or not their automotive “investment” has walked off a cliff and fallen into the financial abyss known as depreciation.

Here’s how to avoid the freefall.

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There are so many things I miss these days.

I miss having a presidential candidate that is as ruthless and cunning as Richard Nixon.

I miss stuffing my mouth with sweets and having a body that can absorb endless hours of athletic abuse.

I even miss a lot of the comedians from days gone by. From Red Skelton to Chris Farley. Even the Charlie Chaplin and Groucho Marx flicks always find their way to my home every month or so.

We always can use more laughter after all. But what about cars? What prophetic trends  from our automotive past deserve a second coming?

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Imagine finding your car gone. Vanished. Not even a set of skid marks to document the trajectory of the assailant.

You take a moment to catch your breath. The police are contacted along with the insurance company, family and close friends. Before long you have spent nearly half the day overloading your mind with stressful thoughts and conversations. Two nights follow with little to no sleep.

Three days later the car is found along with the assailant. It’s someone you knew! A young guy who has usually been a good person.  If it weren’t for the “issues” in his life, none of this would have likely taken place.

So what do you do?

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I used to love going to the county tag office. Really.

There was a nice little back room where the employees would offer cake and cookies to the neighborhood dealers.  In fact, the hospitality for this particular office was so renowned that some dealers in other counties would pay them a visit. Titles would be transacted. Fees to the state would be paid, and a good chunk of those proceeds would go straight to the county coffers.

Not anymore…

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Congratulations on your new job! As regional manager for Franklin Industries you will be responsible for visiting Franklin dealers far and wide. We’re talking a good 30k to 40k miles of pure American asphalt a year.

Your salary is top notch and with a wide assortment of other benefits (free membership to the Y!) comes the ultimate shangri-la for any road warrior.

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Bertel Schmitt recently spread the news about America’s new-found frugality when it comes to cars. The average registered car in the United States is now 10.8 years old. Almost enough to forget about the presidency of George W Bush. But not quite enough time to eliminate the memory of other failures such as the Daewoo Lanos, the Saab 9-7, and almost anything with the name ‘Mitsubishi’ on it.

Since so many of us have now become keepers when it comes to our rides, the MSM will likely find new and exciting ways to stereotype our behavior. Why? I don’t know. They always do. So my question to the B&B is simply this.

Why bother waiting for them to stereotype us? When we can so easily do it ourselves?

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I get a lot of emails from auto enthusiasts. About 60% of what I get comes down to this question.

“Can you get me a high demand vehicle at a disgustingly low price at the auctions?”

The short answer is no. Just as an athlete can’t contradict the laws of physics, I can’t control the free market aspect of a dealer auction. In my world a car is bid on by dozens of professionals until the last man pays the most. If you want a Toyonda or the latest and greatest wheels that are based on yet another ‘”Fast & Furious” ripoff, then you have to pay the premium.

As for unpopular cars, they are a different story.

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Tomorrow evening I will have the joy of finally meeting my alter ego here at TTAC. None other than the ‘King of Swing and the Purveyor  of All Things Panther’,  Sajeev Mehta.

We will be meeting at Henry’s Louisiana Grille in Acworth, Georgia along with past and future contributors Megan Benoit and Frank Williams. There is an auto auction not too far away from the restaurant so who knows? Perhaps Sajeev will find a nice Crown Vic Police Interceptor and pocket the proceeds from his flight back to Houston.

So do you like Cajun? Live anywhere around Atlanta? If you do our invitation is open. 7:00 P.M. Feel free to email an RSVP at steve.lang@thetruthaboutcars.com .

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My family loves small cars. If you asked my wife what car she has enjoyed the most out of the hundreds of vehicles she’s driven over the years, it would be a 1st generation Honda Fit Sport. In her world not even a decked out S-Class or a modern day Mustang compares to the fun […]

I remember looking at the then brand new Ford Five Hundred and thinking to myself, “This would make one heck of a Volvo.”

Like the Volvos of yore this Ford offered a squarish conservative appearance. A high seating position which Volvo’s ‘safety oriented’ customers would have appreciated. Toss in a cavernous interior that had all the potential for a near-luxury family car, or even a wagon, and this car looked more ‘Volvo’ than ‘Ford’ to me with each passing day.

Something had to be done…

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Like small SUV’s, the small towns of the South have a bit of a split personality. On one side of the brain are the transients. They generally don’t care who you want to marry, whether you own a firearm or not. Or what political party you favor. They are here for the (few) jobs and the cheap real estate.

The you have the Bible belt ‘conservative’ with a big old silver confederate belt buckle in the middle. The ‘Good Old Boys’ liked things just fine before their town became known and sure as heck don’t want anything to change now. Their ideology is right wing, family focused, and you can take it or leave it.

They are genuinely nice to you.. so long as you’re not too weird.

But if you’re too much of a drag on business, weirdo, the door does swing both ways. Much the same way as the door ended up swinging both ways for this Chevy Tracker.

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