The taxpayers will be paying for the GM and Chrysler bankruptcies. The living. The dead. The unborn. Hell, even my dog. All of us here who give our money to a Congress and President that can’t say no get the honors. Shouldn’t we get something for it? I’m not talking about a bouncy little check in the mail from Uncle Sam. We already have enough of those. How about a car? Seriously. This is a bankruptcy the public will be paying for after all. We’re going to be paying in interminable interest payments and political pontifications if nothing else. Since that’s the case, why not offer all these wonderful unloved surplus vehicles to the public? 

(Read More…)

One hundred billion dollars. Small change? Not even for Bill Gates. For $100 billion you could give 400,000 students an Ivy League education. If we’re talking about a quality state education, we’re looking at closer to two million graduates. That’s absolutely massive. Amazing . . . and think of our long-term GDP growth? Now consider our current spending on Detroit Inc.

(Read More…)

Eight years ago I was looking at the exact same speedometer in a Honda Helix scooter. No joke. The speedo in the Helix and Insight are absolutely one and the same. Now most of you may not know what a Honda Helix actually is. Fair enough. It’s a very large scooter that can go 70 mph, get 70 mpg, and puts you in a near recliner position when on the road. Honda happily made them for 20 years. The Insight? Well multiply the Helixes $5000 cost by five and you pretty much get all that and the most fun to drive hybrid on the road today.

His cell phone line was dead. A disconnected phone is always the first sign that one my automotive “investments” has gone south. Number two: timing. His payment was due that afternoon. By 2:00 PM I was at the house. My car wasn’t there. Common scents told me his associate, DJ Jazzy Dumbfuck, was inside getting high. Angry rap songs blasted from inside. Knocked on the door . . . doorbell . . . knock . . . doorbell . . .

(Read More…)

I have a 1983 full-sized A-Team van. OK, it’s a Dodge model, not the black GMC of TV fame. But still. If you’re gonna own a repo, it’s awesome when you’re in the mood. Playing card table. Custom fridge. Plenty of classic interior fur. 1980s glazed silver with the custom striping. Happily (and sadly) I haven’t used it yet. So it stays put. Vans like this are public enemy #1 these days, as they suck gas like twenty-seven 1973 vans. In theory. (Remember: it’s parked.) Oh, and my ’83 Dodge stops me from buying a new, cleaner vehicle from new GM or new Chrysler. And so the government will offer me something like $4500 for my ancient, arthritic van. Apparently that kind of cash for this kind of clunker is a fine idea if you’re a politician using other people’s money (the living and the unborn) to curtail American oil imports and save the planet. As a guy on the sharp end, I’m not feeling it. Not that anyone asked me, but here’s what I would do instead. For a LOT less.

(Read More…)

We now have two hybrids on our lot. It won’t last and, trust me, I know that. But I’ve always tried to buy low and sell high when it comes to cars, and non-Prius hybrids are actually reasonable these days. The car in question was a 2001 Honda Insight that was offered by a domestic dealership that had little experience with the product. The check engine light was on (recall related), the A/C was blaring ($35 of tint solved it), and the retail price was a bit prodigious ($6988 with 145k miles). They had a sealed bid sale and I got it for $4001.

(Read More…)

Most folks don’t know a Pontiac Torrent from a Joe Torre. Those of you immersed in the labyrinth of automobilia know that the former is a glorified shitbox. But everybody else? Not so much. By the same token, there are some excellent cars that don’t appear on the new car buyer’s radar. Terrific vehicles that get lost in the shuffle of pointless new names and missing marketing campaigns. As Buickman will tell you (and tell you and tell you), there are an awful lot of excellent cars that don’t get the attention they deserve and therefore don’t sell. And when they do sell, they depreciate alarmingly. Even when the chips are down, or especially when the chips are down, used car buyers are far more conservative than their new car counterparts. Unfamiliarity breeds contempt.

(Read More…)

I drove a Toyota Camry for 12 years and 239k miles. My two brothers also drove Camrys. My mother drove a Camry. Even my father drove a Lexus that was just a gussied-up Camry. All these Camrys were bought because there was a time when Toyota offered a car that truly few others could match. Quality, longevity, durability. They seemed to always be two clicks above the competition in virtually all respects. But now, it’s a very different story.

(Read More…)

I don’t know what the hell to do. I’ve got an old Lexus SC400 that’s getting a new amp and I’m trying to figure out what adapter out there can make it work. Circuit City is shuttered. I should know that since I got a video camera there for nearly bupkis a few months ago. Other than that, well, I guess I’m kinda screwed. Nobody nearby replaces amps and has that friggin’ adapter. Which reminds me . . .

(Read More…)

There are three things you really can’t avoid if you’re an American: death, debt (government inherited) and sales. Now that four GM brands have officially Oldsmobiled themselves, you’re going to hear a lot of retail sales cheerleading in the MSM. “Now’s the best time!”, “Vultures are gonna feast on these deals!”, and my own personal favorite “Get ’em while they last!” But unfortunately that last cliché is a really big part of GM’s problem.

(Read More…)

The 1992 Volvo 740 had more broken plastic pieces than Joan Rivers (if she hit a brick wall in an Aveo). Grandma had let three generations of family use and abuse it. Bless their hearts. They all made an indelible imprint on it. Split rear seats of leather and cloth. Driver’s side window tucked away in the glovebox. Did I mention the jungle gym activities of the young’uns making the rear seats almost useless? Well Grandma was still awesome with the maintenance. Regular oil changes, a light foot, services in all the right places and, wow . . . original Volvo tape deck. This wagon may have looked like old Eurotrash, but it was still young at heart thanks to Grandma—and the rust-free climate of Atlanta. After the jump, the 2000 Dodge Caravan.

(Read More…)

Just for bowel movements and mirth (PC version), I like to visit eBay’s “No Reserve” section. Where is it? Well, there actually isn’t one, but if you type in a given car or model year and then type “No Reserve,” “NR” or “N/R,” you can actually find some very interesting deals. Clicking on Completed Items will show you the market. The many (Police Interceptors), the few (Oldsmobiles), or the one (Grand Marquis). The ones with the green Sold marks and multiple bids are the ones worth a look and, of course, the deals are all over the map. But a lot of the offerings inevitably hit right around the Average Manheim Market Value. Take for instance this 2009 Lincoln Town Car with 3400 miles.

Who needs ’em? Of course the soccer mom and sales folk amongst us really “need” the perpetual motion of a second car. But what about the married schlep who walks to work? Or the enterprising couples that work together? For them a second car may be nothing more than an inconvenience and an expense. Some folks in high places (and low places) say you should go for an alternative that conserves resources and costs less. Fair enough. But is that always a rational choice?

(Read More…)

Everyone asks me when is the best time to buy. Well . . .  this may truly be it. The whoredom that is our federal government has decided to put a magna cum “clunker bill” on the front burner. If you’re fortunate enough to have a vehicle that is 2001 or older, you have a clunker. At least according to the wise and impartial souls promoting this legislation. Although the original offer was $10K smooth per vehicle only a few months ago, the amount has now gone down to $5K and a little cash for the “un-American” manufacturers as well. Will it go down? Well, I don’t know. But this is how I would play it.

(Read More…)