It was a crisp fall evening; I was at the wheel of my 82 Chevy shortbox headed home on I-29 toward Omaha. I was recently graduated, freshly employed and deeply in love.
Slightly older, hard-working and smart, we met 14 months prior, just before my senior year of college when I was 28. That night ended innocently, but went until 6 AM. Cash-strapped, I paid for our next date with my electric bill (worth it). On our third date, Train’s “Meet Virginia” played on the car radio. Her oldest sister’s name.
“Why doesn’t someone write a song called Vicky?” She cheerfully asked.
After wading into the Dead Sea, I proceeded south on Jor 65 along the Jordanian side of the water. A few miles past the resort area the road returns to 2 lanes and lazily mirrors the shoreline. It’s a striking drive and the views are worth it.
For the past two weeks, Your Man in Abu Dhabi is now Your Man in Amman. Being the Best and Brightest, you already know Amman is in Jordan and in addition to being the capital, it is the most populous city is the country. It is also one of the oldest cities in the world. Jordan itself contains some of the oldest historical sites in the world; including a Roman coliseum, aqueducts and several biblical sites.
At my disposal is a rented 2006 Ford Explorer. So I elected to adopt the name my persona, for a least a day and embark on a mini-pilgrimage along the Dead Sea.
Yeah, I opened this up for the screen shot, but I had been listening
You have heard it before, you’ll hear it again. Probably soon, probably better and probably from Louis CK, in which case it will definitely be funnier.
But what an age we live in! Literally, a mere 10 years ago my wife sat at home hoping my once a week phone call from Africa would actually connect. Today, I am texting her as she has lunch with her little brother in Virginia. But what’s more impressive is that I am doing that while watching real time race updates as my buddies the Three Pedal Mafia and their beater Rolls Royce battle Speedycop and his amazing upside down racecar at on the 24 Hours of Lemons at NJMP. The mighty K Car wagon is there as well.
There is another redneck in Abu Dhabi. I have been unsuccessful unable in meeting him, but how else would you explain the presence of this “My Name is Earl” 1975 El Camino beauty?
There is a collector car club in Abu Dhabi, but old classics are rare in this part of the world; the only others cars I have sited have been a 1966 Buick Rivera near the Burj Kalifa in Dubai;
Photo shamelessly stolen from here because I can’t actually show the one I drove.
Prior to my current posh post, last year I was posted in the now defunct TTAC Caribbean bureau. It was in Curacao, a small Dutch protectorate just north of Venezuela.
While there, I did have a chance to test drive a “Hard Car.” A 2005 Scaletta Moloney Armored Police Code Crown Victoria. When offered the keys to this unnecessary luxury, I snapped them up faster than the boss could say “what the…”and hit the streets of Curacao looking for villains to mock from behind 2 inch layered ballistic glass like Billy Crystal ala’ “Running Scared.” Alas,’ there were no criminal masterminds. Like most tropical locations, Curacao has a good bit of petty crime, but is a safe place. Instead, I occupied myself by sampling the manners of a unique version of a very common car.
As with most harebrained schemes, this one started on innocently enough. But like a Sorority President’s profanity laced email, the greatest K Car ever raced is making its way across America. Like the video reading by Michael Shannon, it is bringing all who experience it the same joy and probably more profanity. (Read More…)
The best movie so far this summer is not really a film. Jaguar just revealed its new platform to promote the new Jaguar F Type. A 13-minute short film called Desire. It’s not original but it’s still better than GI Joe: Retaliation.
Should you see this new film? Hell yeah you should; it’s awesome. As if you were do something important today. HD version here. If you REALLY don’t know what to do today, here are a few more car movies worth watching. (Read More…)
Ever since the TTAC Corporate jet dropped me off in Abu Dhabi, a reoccurring criticism has been “Who cares about Abu Dhabi?” Is Abu Dhabi a center of automotive design? Renowned for its automotive innovation? A world class automotive manufacturer? A breeding ground for world class drivers? Not yet, but it has a race track.
Actually, there are two racetracks in the United Arab Emirates; the Autodrome in Dubai and Yas Island just outside of Abu Dhabi. The Porsche Club of the UAE let me to tag along at their Yas Island track event. (Read More…)
Yes, the death of the Hummer brand is old news and was long overdue. But in the vein of Tom Cruise, when your public image goes bust, go back to what you do best: GI Joe. I kit you not. (Read More…)
A few days ago, I was at the International Defense Expo here in Abu Dhabi. It prides itself as “the most strategically important tri-service defence exhibition in the world.” Many tanks were on display, among them an armored Audi A8. I wanted to inspect that car a bit closer, when a man approached the white-haired product specialist of Audi. The man had a gold lame jacket, and he needed a haircut. They gave away free parabolic mikes at the AVIC booth, but being Chinese, it would only pick up the voice of the salesman. Here is the transcript.
Product specialist: “Mr.Baruth! Welcome to Abu Dhabi! If you are tired of lightweight cars, you have come to the right place!” (Read More…)
I got to attend the 2013 Abu Dhabi Golf Championship two weeks ago. Let me be blunt, I hate Golf. I don’t know if I hate because I am no good or I am no good because I hate it, but I do know it is slow, so I don’t play, and I certainly don’t watch it on TV. I would rather watch fishing. I watched McIlroy and Tiger not make the cut for a few holes and then headed to the vendors village to watch Cadillac sell cars to the Arabs.
Abandon all hope: Mental Ward is now TTAC’s man in Abu Dhabi and surrounding sheikdoms For the next year, or until they kick him out, Mental will deliver a sandstorm of desert dispatches. Here is the first.
There are more than a few web sites dedicated to abandoned exotics in the Middle East.
They – cars and websites – are everywhere. What you don’t expect here is an abandoned hoopty. Last week I was getting my race bib for the Dubai marathon and I saw this beauty. When I returned on the day of the race, I got pictures. You have to hand it to the Sheikhs: Even their hoopties are classy – in a way. (Read More…)
Just east of Philly, it had started snowing pretty well. During the first (of many) fuel stops, I pulled the light covers. At speed, the lights off the snowflakes resembled the cockpit view of the Millennium Falcon making the jump to light speed. It was simply awesome. Snow? HA! Disco Sandy positively yawned at the attempt and sped through the Pennsylvania night.
Comfortably perched in the high leather seat, I began to grasp the concept of “command seating” outside of marketing buzzwords. Sorry, you don’t have it. In fact nothing else outside of the starship Enterprise has command seating. The window frame is just above my hipbone with miles of headroom. The dash is low and the gauges succinct but informative. The seat is as comfortable as you expect British leather to be. There is an armrest, cup holders, dual sunroofs, suspension adjustments, and my favorite; a curry hook. 4,500 pounds of steel and three locking differentials certainly ads to your swagger. Exit the vehicle and hear air pumping the suspension level. You drive a sedan, you pilot a race car, but you command a Land Rover. (Read More…)
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