Every morning at 4:00 am, I’m woken by an automotive alarm clock. It’s the sound of my neighbor beginning his daily commute, firing-up his 6.7-liter Turbo Diesel Dodge Ram. The oil burner nestling in the pickup’s snout embodies all the characteristics that American car buyers of a certain age associate with Rudolph Diesel’s powerplant. It’s loud, dirty and smelly. Its rattle makes the vehicle vibrate like a cheap motel bed. Is in any wonder Jeep’s website doesn’t go out of its way to advertise the diesel option in its Jeep Grand Cherokee Overland? Yes and no. 

In 2002, I embarked on a week-long trek across the High Uinta Mountains. On our first day out, I aggravated an old knee injury. So we borrowed a six-year-old all wheel-drive 4Runner and resumed our backcountry adventure by wheel. The 4Runner was ideal: rugged, reliable, capable and comfortable. Of course, Toyota didn’t get to be the world’s largest automobile manufacturer by leaving well enough alone…

Milan is the fashion capital of Italy. Step off the tourist trail and it’s a combination of industrial parks and urban sprawl with only slightly more charm than Trenton, New Jersey. Still, you have got to give Ford’s beleaguered near-luxury division credit for naming their hecho-en-Mexico Fusion derivative after the home of Alfa Romeo, rather than resorting to the alphanumerics afflicting Lincoln’s take on the same model. But the question remains: is Mercury’s glammed-up Fusion a credible fashionista or an industrial waste?     

The political right likes to claim that the mainstream press has a liberal bias. These self-appointed media watchdogs see a cadre of left-leaning fascists looking to manipulate popular opinion, to infringe on individual freedom by stripping law-abiding citizens of their God given right to own guns, smoke, pray in public, eat supersized fatty foods and drive gas-guzzling CO2–belching behemoths. In truth, the American press isn’t red, blue, pink or green. It’s yellow.

Before I write another word, let’s get one thing straight: the Saleen S331 Supercharged Sport Truck is a RIDICULOUS MACHINE. Climbing into its cab is like boarding the Space Shuttle. The S331’s engine fires-up with all the subtlety of the shuttle’s SRB’s. After the small voice in your head counts down to zero, the truck launches with all the fury of… Well, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself here. Suffice it to say, you don’t have to be a Three Stooges Fan to know that something completely ridiculous can also make you laugh with delight.

Last week, the U.S. House of Representatives passed H.R. 1252. The sternly titled "Federal Price Gouging Prevention Act" established penalties for people who hoik-up gas prices to take "unfair advantage" of U.S. consumers during an "energy emergency." The Right condemned the act as stealth nationalization of the American oil industry. The Left condemned the bill for not going far enough to rein in Big Oil. So, is H.R. 1252 a well-intentioned congressional misfire or part of a great political swindle? Yes.

When it comes to full size pickups, three words have dominated headlines over the last six months: Toyota, Toyota, Toyota. Can the Tundra penetrate the Big 2.5’s final sanctuary? Who will crumble first, GM or Ford? It’s made in Texas! Yada, yada. But Toyota’s not the only American-made foreign brand playing in the full-size pickup truck sandbox. Nissan was here first and they’re not going away. So can this Mississippi Titan play ball or is it destined to remain a third-string niche player?

Once upon a time, a loafer-wearing businessman buried the front end of his rented Oldsmobile in a dune on the barren southwestern point of Galveston Island. I retrieved my Jeep Liberty and drove it to the Olds across a sea of tidal dunes carved into the coast like three foot swells; the Liberty loped from crest to crest in a spray of sand. Within minutes, I dug out enough of the Olds’ front bumper to affix a strap and pull the trapped car onto smooth packed beach. So how does this Jeep lover rate the prospects for the new 2008 Jeep Liberty? D.O.A.

Riding in a golf cart to the nether regions of a dealership lot, an aging salesman explained his selling strategy. “Chryslers appeal to either male or female buyers,” he declared through nicotine-stained teeth. “Take the Compass. That’s for the ladies. The Wrangler? Boys’ toy.” As our EV reaches the 2008 Avenger, it's clear that the latest entry in The Dodge Boys' lineup is no purple Barbie Sport Convertible. But does The Avenger deliver the goods, or is “he” an impotent superhero look alike?

Last Monday, an English racing mogul, a car-collecting Texas tycoon and a gaggle of Kuwaitis bought Aston Martin. While Ford’s retained a stake in the luxury automaker, The Blue Oval Boyz no longer have a say in Aston’s future. The press spun the deal as a sad but inevitable move: a sign of FoMoCo’s willingness to face financial facts. Well, here’s a bit of Inside Automaking: Ford didn’t put Aston Martin up for sale. Aston Martin jumped ship. 

High gasoline prices, foreign wars in oil producing nations and fears of global warming have made fuel efficiency the new patriotism. Yet many Americans reject clown-sized economy cars and suppository shaped CUV’s and minivans. They cling to the outdoorsy lifestyle and the go-anywhere freedom embodied by rough-and-tumble SUV’s. In a second attempt to address these shifting values, Jeep has unveiled the Patriot. It's an SUV for gas conscious Americans! Actually, never mind all that. Please, oh please, just let it be better than the Compass.

Congratulations Cadillac. The GM brand scooped first place in BusinessWeek’s first-ever ranking for the best provider of automotive related customer service. Overall, the wreathed ones placed third, surpassed only by insurance company USAA and Four Seasons Hotels and Resorts. From its lofty perch near the top the elite twenty-five, Cadillac can look down upon such notable companies such as Starbucks (tenth), Southwest Airlines (thirteenth), and Apple (eighteenth). Caddy’s kudos offer beleaguered GM supporters a much needed glimmer of hope.

Twenty-six summers ago I arrived in San Antonio, Texas. I quickly surmised that the pickup truck was River City residents’ favored mode of transport– preferably with an occupied gun rack. These pickup-driving Hill Country Texans worshiped at the altar of one of two churches: Chevy or Ford. Since those simple days of my youth, the rules of the game have changed. That community, so steeped in American pickup truck tradition, is now the production site for the all-new 2007 Tundra. Question: is Toyota’s big rig good enough to pry the keys out of the hands of F150, Silverado, and Ram-loving Americans?

Californians designed it. Italy’s glass blowing artisans lent it their name. A Franco-Japanese alliance headed by a Brazilian CEO builds it in a Japanese factory. The Murano is a twenty-first century multinational mutt. Introduced in 2002, this strange beast has faithfully served owners in the great melting pot of America’s sprawling suburbs. In dog years, the model’s now 67 years old. And the CUV market has suddenly become more crowded than a backwoods puppy mill. So has Nissan’s crossbreed aged well, or is this old dog ready for the vet’s needle?

According to yesterday's Yahoo finance, Apple juice is the Detroit’s drink of the moment. Mark Fields, FoMoCo’s Prez Del Americas: "I admire their pure understanding of the brand and the type of customer they're going after.” Mark LeNeve, GM’s Veep of SS&M (Sales, Service and Marketing): "We're really trying to be more like companies like Apple, where we can innovate and move faster.” Eric Ridenour, COO of the C in DCX: "I think a fresh, creative mind is something that you can appreciate and focus simply on some complicated things." While the Big Two Point Five’s top execs are happy to sing the praises of the iMac, iPod, Apple TV and iPhone, it's lip service. They’re unwilling to learn the true lessons of Apple’s recent success.