That Bible of the intelligencia, Consumer Reports, has released its 2010 Annual Auto Issue, and once again, denizens of Cambridge, Austin, Berkeley, Eugene, and their sister university towns all over the land are parsing its pages, seeking cars that will maximize their utility. Or maybe I’m projecting. Anyway, with apologies to Michael Karesh and True Delta, here’s a summary of the work of the wonks from Yonkers and East Haddam.
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The 1969 Camaro is an automotive icon. Because of this juggernaut tag there are tens of thousands of these late 60s pony cars restored or under restoration. The late Reverend Jimmy “drink the Kool-Aid” Jones would have been humbled by this kind of blind loyalty-the sole reason the 09 Camaro exists was GM’s critical need for a home run.

But which car is going to be more valuable in 2019? Even after 10 years of service as a daily driver?

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I recently came across a brand new Lincoln MKS. I’m a pretty hard core Japanese car fan but I had to admit that this car looks pretty slick. I had heard that it was pretty fast too. I like fast. Upon inspecting the exterior of the car it came to my attention that the MKS is equipped with ‘EcoBoost.’  Not being up on the very latest in automotive tech, the unfamiliar name intrigued me. Was this some hybrid or electric technology? Curious, I started off on a quest to find out what this EcoBoost is and what makes it so… EcoBoost-y.

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In the wake of JD Powers’ Initial Quality Survey, several other lesser-known awards are giving OEMs a whole new reason to cobble together a press release touting their top place, improvement or mere presence in one of these meaningless satisfaction surveys. And why not? It’s summer, and things (sales, in specific) are slow. And the award fandango is win-win. The awards allow OEMs to ridiculously inflate the importance of their results, while publicizing the research firms that created the awards. Case in point, the Dodge Ram.

The Ram got top full-size truck honors in the “Strategic Vision Total Quality Index,” a result that prompted the Chrysler Blog headline “Ram Ranked as Best Truck Ever (No Exaggeration).” Except that the survey (like so many meaningless surveys) only gathers impressions of quality and satisfaction from owners of 2008/2009 models, providing a less-than complete picture of “total quality.” In other words, yes exaggeration. But by embracing subjectivity and endless categorization, the awards dance keeps shuffling along.

“We know Total Quality is strengthened by delighting customers and getting them to love you. We stand ready to include love in all the work that we do since measuring love is the next step in discriminating between winning and losing in today’s competitive environment,” explains Strategic Vision’s Darrel Edwards.

But how do you measure such an ineffable emotion with any reliability? As the Bard put it, “love is not love which alters when it alteration [Ed: or awkward panel gap] finds, Or Bends with the remover to remove. O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark.” In short, who doesn’t love their new car? Finding out whether a car lives up to its owner’s expectations is more a measure of the owners than the car.

“Vehicles that score highest in the Vehicle Satisfaction Awards hit the mark with their buyers by delivering value and satisfaction across a wide range of attributes,” says George Peterson, of Auto Pacific, and grand pimp of the 2009 Vehicle Satisfaction Awards. “The winners perform well in 48 separate categories that objectively measure the ownership experience.”

Leaving the challenge of “objectively measuring satisfaction” aside for a moment, that’s 48 freaking categories! Which means every OEM is guaranteed to have at least one “class-leading” vehicle to brag about in press release which backhandedly legitimizes the award. Which is the whole point.

Not that such circle-jerkery is necessarily an inherently bad thing. People often buy cars for irrational reasons, a fact that has gone a long way towards making the auto industry what it is today. If consumers want to factor an aggregation of opinion and after-the-fact purchase justification into their decisions, so be it. But it’s not like either partner in the awards fandango acknowledges that the data in question is scarcely an improvement on a single random opinion of a given car.

“In a year that promises to be the toughest in more than a decade, car buyers are being especially prudent, and the data we’ve analyzed for the Vehicle Satisfaction Award will help this year’s customers make wise purchase decisions,” says Peterson of his award. “We’ve found that more than 25% of respondents are positively influenced by awards like the VSA when deciding on a car and this trend will certainly continue given the economy.”

But wise purchase decisions have nothing to do with it. These awards are little more than marketing information, to be overemphasized by marketing departments. To the consumer, a test drive will tell you more about your likely satisfaction with a given vehicle than any survey can (incidentally,whatever happened to the 24 hour test drive?). Meanwhile, despite slow sales across the industry, every OEM has at least one “winner.” And therein lies the real problem.

The proliferation of meaningless awards contributes to what is already one of the banes of the auto industry: attention span drain. Just as most consumers would be hard pressed to match every automotive brand with its OEM, the public is so inundated with quality survey awards that it’s impossible to expect consumers to seperate the wheat from the chaff. And the wild divergence in results only adds to the confusion.

Jaguar/Land Rover and Volkswagen, for example, may rank towards the bottom in more objective long-term quality and reliability testing, but a press release based on the opinions of buyers who have yet to experience engine sludging or electrical issues conveniently allows them to tout their quality and out-publicize their negative results.

Meanwhile, the awards keep on coming. There are infinite paths to an ill-advised vehicle purchase, but awards purporting to measure intangible attributes using questionable methodologies continue to be the best publicized of the bunch. Deluding consumers and OEMs alike may be good for business, but not in any meaningful or sustainable way.

Consumers, in particular, would be well served to ditch the annual awards and focus instead on methodical, long-term reliability studies such as Consumer Reports or True Delta. If emotional reactions to a vehicle are (for some reason) important to your buying decision, even online forums offer a broader range of reactions and dialogue than an awards aggregate. The truth is out there, but only if you look past the press releases touting useless awards.

CarMax prides itself on creating a dealership experience unlike any other. Well, now that Saturn is going Tango Uniform. CarMax emphasizes no haggle pricing, easy financing, and a process that involves only one person. No more having your salesperson go back and forth between you and “Bubba” (or “Cowboy” if you are Dodge). You’re greeted warmly, shown any car you like, and guided through a completely transparent transaction, with nothing hidden. That’s the theory. How does it hold up in practice? In true TTAC tradition, I offer a personal critique of one of our biggest sponsors.

My first CarMax transaction occurred before my prose ever graced the pages of TTAC. After buying a Ford F-150 I didn’t need, I decided to celebrate two years cancer-free and 40 lbs. of weight loss by purchasing a sports car I could drive on the weekends.

After wandering through the four-square, fishbowl wilderness, I pulled into my local CarMax. A salesperson immediately guided me to a computer to search the dealer’s nationwide inventory. I’d already settled on a Porsche Boxster S. They located a bright red model in Houston. For a modest $250, they’d transfer the Porker to my 10-20.

Inexpensive relocation is CarMax’s trump card. However, there’s a string attached. When the car shows up, if it’s not to your liking, you can walk away. But your up-front transfer fee payment is toast. To forestall this possibility, CarMax provides an electronic “walk around.” Customers submit questions about the vehicle of their choice to a representative at the relevant dealership. Within a short time, the answers are transmitted back

Like with any computerized solution, there’s a large element of garbage in, garbage out. The remote CarMax rep will answer all your questions, but you’re still talking to a car salesman. A question on how the wear of the driver’s seat returned “normal wear, some wrinkles, looks great! Ready for purchase!” The more specific your questions, the better information you receive.

Once you decide to purchase said vehicle, financing is a simple process. You plug in your vital information on a computer, wait fifteen minutes, and choose which bank loan fits your needs best. Easy. No dealing with an F & I guy breathing down your neck. No fancy calculations, hidden fees or emotional games.

Next: your trade-in appraisal. The sales rep plugs-in the salient facts about your gem/turd into the same computer. While you wait with your salesperson, going over warranty information and other plugs for add-ons (yes there is still that), CarMax’ trade-in expert gives it the once-over.

CarMax describes their trade-in prices as fair, and many times they are. However, top dollar is not yours for the taking.

My Ford F-150 was valued at $14,000 at the Ford dealership, and $15,500 at CarMax. Seems reasonable—until you realize Ford completely low-balled the offer with the full expectation of giving more on the trade to sweeten the deal.

Cars above 100K miles are given paltry values, as CarMax doesn’t sell high mileage vehicles; restricting their income to auction values (where 100K-mile cars are almost worthless).

To my mind, CarMax’s non-negotiation policy is the mega-dealer’s biggest flaw. While it’s great for people inexperienced, wary or anxious at the prospect of haggling, the lack of any sort of negotiation proves troublesome for experienced buyers, especially when they realize they’re going to pay more for a vehicle than they would at a “traditional” dealership.

CarMax justifies their higher prices with a simple guarantee: the vehicle they’re selling you has never been in a frame damaging accident, flooded, or experienced any other incident that would make it an “undesirable.” CarMax has so much faith in the quality of their vehicle selection that all of their vehicles are available with an extended warranty.

To be fair, I’ve found that nearly every car that I’ve inspected on a CarMax lot looks clean and tidy. More often than not, it’s in much better condition than an equivalent vehicle waiting for unsuspecting punters across the street at Super Bob’s Auto Liquidators. WYSIWYG.

For example, I’ve been trying to find a steed to take to Europe. I tried to buy a Dodge Challenger SRT-8. The Dodge Boys changed the numbers overnight. I then attempted to buy a brand new Audi A3 DSG from a franchised store. Audi’s finance company wouldn’t approve it for export. Whilst wrangling with Audi, I looked across at a CarMax lot and spotted a 2004 Pontiac GTO.

Clean as a whistle. Burbled like a dream. Did I pay more than I could have? Yes, I did. Did I get an exceptionally clean car and a decent offer on my trade? Yes, I did.

CarMax provides a welcome departure from the high pressure, cloak and dagger methods of a “normal” dealership. They charge a premium for the lack of aggro and peace of mind. For me and for hundreds of thousands of customers, it’s worth it.

Everybody who knows me knows I’m a tightfisted son of a bitch. I may own Benzes for their profits, but gas sippers are my daily drivers.  My wife’s daily driver has been an old Volvo wagon (which she loves). And like many of you, I’m nearly OCD when it comes to buying quality on the cheap. When Robert asked me to find him a $5000 car, I found a $4000 car. Why? Because $4000 is the new $5000. For those of you contemplating a new ride and have the cash, now’s a good time to buy. The Manufacturers’ Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) is dead.

Reality check. At the moment, there are only two types of car companies: the living and the dying. Brands such as Toyota, Honda, VW, Porsche, Mercedes, BMW, Audi, MINI and Nissan still have healthy balance sheets and great products. As long as they stay true to their core talents, today’s recession will lead to long-term global progression. But even though these brands offer quality vehicles, the money to support the demand has disappeared. That’s bad for some customers. Good for everyone else.

Most credit-driven customers have been cut off. Many of the banks that were ‘helped’ by the recent bailout are also among the largest auto finance lenders in the U.S.: Capital One, Citibank and Bank of America. The bank’s balance sheets are looking better– in the same that clothes can hide leprosy. Unfortunately for the ‘fleeced’ taxpayer, and the political ‘yes’ men, the banks are hoarding their new found, taxpayer-funded wealth.

This net drop in the amount of money truly available has resulted in a cliff-face 20 to 40 percent drop in new car sales for even the “good” brands. Although these manufacturers aren’t selling vehicles at Buick levels, the previous customer dealer paradigm has rolled-over and died. To say it’s a buyer’s market would be like saying a jailhouse crack dealer has sway over an incarcerated junkie.

The consumer strategy required to make the best of a bad situation (for the dealer) is simple enough. When you visit that big fishbowl called the dealership just say no to whatever’s on offer and wait. Or leave. There’s no ‘take it or leave it’ or ‘you really need to buy today’ when the inventory is stacked to the roof and the customers are none deep. If you want to squeeze the best deal, all you have to do is say ‘No!’ for a week and enjoy what amounts to a Chinese auction.

Sticker? What sticker? Brand new 2008 Mercedes GLs are going– or not– for $14k off sticker. The same vehicle can be had for a three-year lease for $5k down, $800 a month. Did I say $800? How about $700? $600? I’ve never seen anything like it. Pay no attention to Edmunds or anyone else. Published deals have nothing to do with anything anymore. Desperate doesn’t even begin to cover it.

The same reality applies to the used car markets. Last night I saw a 2003 Mercedes SL500 go for a mere $20 grand, a 2006 Scion Xb sell for $9200, and a loaded 2008 Hyundai Santa Fe Limited with less than a thousand miles no sale at $17k. All of these cars were in strong demand when they were first released. Now they’re just casualties of a credit-driven economy and a repo-saturated car market. In a recession, used car vehicles pick up some of the slack. But not today. Even the market leaders of not too long ago are in a depreciation death spiral.

Then we have the ‘patients.’ GM, Ford and Chrysler are fighting for their survival. Many of their models will not be replaced (through Ch11 or otherwise), and virtually all have record levels of supply. From a 200+ day supply of Corvettes to fields of near-new rental crapmobiles (e.g. Pontiac Grand Prix and Chrysler Sebring), there’s nothing but metal to be moved. Buickman is sending brand new Chevy Silverados our the door at $10k. Again, just say no and reap the rewards. Stupid deals are smart. Don’t be what William Shatner calls timid negotiatiors these days: “mamby-pamby.”

The situation is even more ridiculous at small dead brands such as HUMMER, Saab and Volvo. Their dealers face the morbid task of selling cars that with virtually no marketing dollars behind them. A 2008 Volvo S80 may theoretically compete with the Lexus LS and Mercedes E-Class, but no one knows or cares. A non-competitive product with no market presence will eventually go out the door for a price that is closer to the lower car class.

RF and I are still debating the ‘when’ of car buying during this current carmaggedon. I believe now’s a great time to buy. Robert points at the sheer volume of unsold inventory at the new and used car level, and the lack of consumer confidence (tied to the housing market). Whatever the scenario, however long it lasts, however MORE desperate things become (fancy buying a C11 Malibu for under $5k?), MSRP for all but the most exclusive vehicles is RIP. Go get ’em tiger!

For 33 years Jane Hoyt has been driving her baby blue 1975 VW Beetle. Is it love? Madness? A '70's thing? When I asked her about the appeal of her longtime automotive companion, it was none of the above. "It's a story of inertia. Really, it's a metaphor for my life. I always stay too long at the fair." That last word struck me as kinda funny. If a car ownership is a metaphorical "fair," can you get a lifetime of kicks from a four-wheeled Ferris Wheel? 

Yes, the Ferris Wheel. It's a nice, simple machine. Like the Model A, VW Beetle and 1960's Chevy Pickup. While reliability-crazed motorists tend to focus on things not going wrong, it's important to remember that simplicity means ease of repair, and that's the real key to longevity

Simply put, if a mechanic working on a vehicle can quickly figure out what fig-a-ma-jig needs to be replaced, the car in question can usually be repaired in matter of hours, rather than days or weeks. It's going to be easier for an aspiring lifer to tolerate the problems that come along. Because once you pass a certain point in a car's lifespan, come along they will. 

Thankfully (for you if not the manufacturer), that point of plenty of returns is stretching-out further and further. Six Sigma, lean production and a variety of manufacturing standards and practices that you've likely only heard in passing have enabled all carmakers to move towards incredible heights of build quality and mechanical robustness.

At the same time, there've been steady improvements on the repair front. For example, mechanics– be they shade-tree or franchised– now use an OBDII scanner and Alldata (the name says it all) to diagnose and repair vehicles. Identifying electrical problems has never been easier.

Well, at least post'95 or so. From the mid-90's back to time memoriam, each manufacturer had their own unique way of doing things. To wit: most pre-'96 Volvos had little plastic inserts that looked like a magic wand which went into little holes of a diagnosis system. Toyota's diagnostic system was completely different from GM's, and Honda had their own system. 

In fact, cars often had several unique "languages." A mid-1980's Jeep Cherokee may have been given a computer system from AMC, an engine from one of three automakers and a transmission from one of six completely different companies. Throw in a multitude of carburetors and a diagnosing system from a long-ago defunct AMC, and it's no wonder motorists longed for cars that never, ever broke.

It was an automotive Tower of Babel, that forced mechanics to specialize. Which kept both labor and parts prices high. So how come there are still "lifers" out there that stretch back to this pre-historic times? 

As I perused the web in search of lifer stories, I found that most of the cars were those made by companies that churned out the same powertrain for as long as possible. Mercedes and Volvo are the two mantle holders of many elderly lifers. Daimler offered very long model runs for the S, SL and E-Classes; the Swedes finished a 20-year run for the Volvo 200 series.

The thinking back then: if a car model made money and customers kept coming back for new ones, keep making the same thing. Only do it a little better every time. Improving the design, making the parts more durable and maintaining the language of diagnosis and repair kept more of these vehicles on the road past the average life expectancy of their rivals.

And then we have to consider the owner. Lifers tend to have what I call a 'blue jean' mentality when it comes to cars. That is, if the basic shape and design of the vehicle fits their needs, they just keep wearing it regardless of the current fashion. They realize that holes can always be sewn or patched, tastes change with time, and that in the end what really matters in most daily driving is that you're comfortable.

But they also don't "let things go"– as most owners do. If they sense a problem with the vehicle, they make sure it gets taken care of by someone who can be a good steward for that vehicle. That makes a huge difference in their overall happiness with that car. In the end, 'knowledge' and automotive excellence enable them to do what they want to do rather than what society, friends or the modern media encourages them to do.

So, if you're looking for a lifetime automotive companion, you're a lot better off now than at any time in the past. But the rules still apply: simple is best, mainstream is cheapest and regular maintenance is critical. With a bit of luck, you'll avoid the roller coaster of high monthly payments, rapid depreciation, repair and hassle. 

[The three best comments on this post (as chosen by the author)

will receive a free, topic-related CNN T-shirt]

Once a car salesman “data captures” you, the calls never stop. Some are rude. Some are sweet. All are pushy. The salesman’s goal: get the sale. Meet the quota (placate the Alpha Dog). Pay the bills (placate the Ex). In America’s cratered new car market, the chances of a car salesman making his nut are only slightly less than that of a squirrel in the Ice Age. Has this stopped dealers from getting up to their old tricks? Hell no. If anything, they’re abusing their customers MORE. Still, if you know how to handle the heat, this is The Mother of All Buyer’s Markets. Here’s how to work the system…

Back in the good old days (for the dealer), when the salesman saw you walking away from a negotiation, they considered it the end of the deal. Hence their “reluctance” to let you go (a.k.a. “We lost your car keys”). While dealers’ “take lots of prisoners” approach is still in force, today, there’s no escape. Phone calls and emails, and emails and phone calls, are headed your way. The good news? All those years of incentives and finance offers have trained salesmen that the deal is all about price. And the price has nowhere to go but down.

So, patience. In a buyer’s market, you hold the cards. For the foreseeable future (well into 2009), the longer you hold them, the more valuable they become. Accept the fact that your purchase should take place over the course of days, maybe even weeks. Again, the greater the delay, the better the deal.

There two types of car customers: “show horse” and “work horse” buyers.

Show horse buyers are looking for one type of car, in one type of color, with a very specific set of options. They’re a dealer’s wet dream.  You want a BOSE DVD video navigation system in that minivan? Well, OK! Let’s find you one with option X! Dealers dedicate their lives to “upselling” customers on manufacturer-created option “bundles.” Sound systems, safety packages and other works of “in” technology are carefully packaged so that show horse buyers pay through their proverbial snout for that one cool feature they really, really want.

Salesmen kill to put customers in this psychological/financial box.

The same game applies to paint and trim. When John Q. tells a dealer they will only consider one combination out of hundreds, they effectively eliminate 95-plus percent of the alternative vehicles out there. That gives the dealer, and the parent manufacturer, an awful lot of leverage. For the pistonheads and car lovers amongst us, option and paint specificity is our Achilles’ heel. Overall, the more “choosy” you are, the more you’re going to have to pay. Period.

So don’t be a show horse buyer. Even in today’s doldrums, you’ll save thousands of dollars by tempering your lust with the knowledge that even “dream cars” becomes just another car in a year or two.

The workhorse buyer has the upper hand. They may prefer two or three models. Or they may have several good fits. They may want to consider a wide range of options, paint or trim. Or perhaps just a few combinations. Either way, they understand the most basic law of supply and demand. The broader their taste palette, the better their overall deal.

Take a lesson from the ultimate work horse buyers (also my favorite type of customer): commercial firms. When a corporate purchaser receives a request for three pickups with only a few specifications, they can play the entire field in the pursuit of the deal. They realize the simple fact what’s on the lot has to go out the door. Deal with what they got. If they ain’t got it, or the price is wrong. Move on.

However there is at times an even better avenue than that for the ‘workhorse’ buyer.

As Tony Blair would have said, there is a middle way: the “demo.” Cars set aside for customer demonstration (a.k.a. test rides) often offer better warranties than the new cars on the lot; demos are almost always certified models. The best ones are loaded, owned and driven by high ranking members of the dealership (or their spouses). They see little more than the daily commuting duty. If you’re a show horse who wants all the bells and whistles, and can wait ‘til the end of model year, demos can provide a full list of options for several thousands less than an identical new model.

After more than a decade as an auto auctioneer and car buyer, I would argue that flexibility, honesty, mutual respect and patience are the best lubricators for a successful negotiation. Regardless, the bottom line never changes: the only power you have as a buyer is the power to walk away. Now more than ever, use it.

All across the nation, SUV Sally's and Sam's are cussing at the pumps. They're watching the readout with mounting horror: $80, $100, $120+ per fill up. The automotive source of this pain of portly plenitude is has become the pink elephant of the American lifestyle. And it's true: SUVs suck. Not just gas. Depreciation, insurance and street cred. And so, the "Livin' Large" folks of the Oil War Era are giving up their SUVs en masse. Which brings us to a simple question. Should you?

The first thing you should consider is whether anyone wants your SUV. Really. That's not a misprint. The purveyors of maximum mass, maximum profit vehicles have been overproducing these beasts for nearly a decade. GM, Ford, Chrysler, Toyondissan, Audi, Porsche, Saab and even granola-happy Subaru joined the fray of seemingly endless profit and demand. And now we have the Mother of All Gluts. On EBay, you'll find a 2006, 23k-mile Ford Explorer Limited ($33k new, at least in theory). The owner's asking $23k. Good luck with that; there isn't a single bid on the vehicle. Not one.

We hear reports that some dealers won't take your SUV in trade. Period. Of course, everything sells at a price. So take four good pictures of your vehicle. Write a glorious soliloquy of its qualities. Price it according to the completed items section on EBay. Put ads on Craigslist and Autotrader. Once you get two serious inquiries on your vehicle that don't involve low-balling, you'll see how bad things really are. And they are very bad indeed. And getting worse.

OK, so, you sell X. You buy Y. The cost to trade is pretty easy to determine (if hard to stomach). The hard part: take into account all the other costs that go into the equation. Depreciation (again), insurance, maintenance, even the ungainly pitfall that is financing are part of the wallet-draining process. These "hidden costs" determine the real cost of escaping your Escape.

A buyer of a Mercedes 320 CDI may love to brag about their outstanding fuel economy– until they start paying for the outstandingly expensive blue urea fluid that can only be had at the dealer. Likewise, a friend of mine absolutely adored his Jetta Diesel– until the dealer billed him over $1300 for 'regular maintenance.' One call to a dealer (or independent shop), a quick visit to an enthusiast's site can add an awful lot of wisdom to your final decision.

When it comes to car buying, knowledge is more important than imagination or instinct.
Along the same lines, you have to be honest with yourself, and God forbid, your spouse. Would either of you really feel comfortable making a leap from Canyonero to Cobalt? Safety, interior quality, and dare I say it, the pleasures of driving these money-suckers should be given weighty consideration over the course of weeks.

In my experiences, folks who drive Suburbans rarely fit in Fits. But they can be more than fine in a Camry hybrid or Malibu. By the same token, drivers who own and enjoy a compact SUV may be perfectly happy in a compact car. My wife went from Volvo wagons and minivans into a Honda Fit without any regrets. However the Scion xB and xD were rolling Edsels in her eyes. We all have our likes and dislikes. Be true to them.

Finally don't be sold on being sold; $2.99 gas, free maintenance programs and lifetime warranties may be a dream come true. But the car behind the fine print 'bling' may be a rolling shit can. When you drive away from the lot, the car will determine the quality of your "ownership experience." If you decide to buy used, it will be the prior owner. And if you keep what you have, it will be your own driving style and maintenance regimen that will likely have the most impact on your satisfaction.

It's true. In these days of $4 gas, many of us have been able to achieve fuel economy figures which exceed the EPA ratings by anywhere from 20 to 30 percent, just by changing the way we drive. Learn to coast. Keep the rpm's low. Pay attention to the traffic. Turn that cell phone off and make driving a 'mileage' game. Hypermiling– within reason– can put dollars back in your pocket and add years to your SUVs life.

In an SUV buyer's market, it's best not to sell an SUV. So how long before the market recovers? At best, two years. At worst, never. If it galls you that you're now an SUV owner for life, don't panic. Drive less. Drive more sensibly. And relax. It still beats walking.

$11,800. That’s the price for a 2008 Chrysler PT Cruiser down at my local Chrysler dealer. Throw in the “Refuel America” $2.99 per gallon guarantee into the equation and you end-up with a pre-tax, tag, title price right around $10,200. Not bad. Not bad at all. Then again, is it? There are a lot of factors to consider when approaching any of the bargain basement cars currently on offer during this, Detroit’s [most recent] dark days. Join me as we journey down the PT-shaped rabbit hole…

If you're not an enthusiast, and simply want a 'keeper' car, the $10k Cruiser may be a great deal. What’s that you say? It’s going away? Well exactly. There are a lot of pluses for soon-to-be-defunct, less popular cars like the PT Cruiser that go far beyond the initial purchase price.

A long model run usually translates into a lot of easily obtainable spare parts, from multiple sources. The nearby parts store or junkyard will likely have replacements available for the eight year-old PT in duplicate or even triplicate. The PT Cruiser will also outdo recent entrants like the Toyota Yaris, Nissan Versa and Honda Fit when it comes to parts cost. For transplanted customers who have been beholden to the dealer for a $500 repair, that would cost maybe $150 in a mainstream Detroit iron, this is a weighty consideration.

All things being equal, a long model run also has the advantage of offering far fewer defects 'on average' than the latest and greatest models. A car that's been built a million times over has effectively given the supplier and the manufacturer plenty of opportunity to improve the car's design and reduce defects.

[Note: this isn't always the case. Google 'engine sludge' or 'transmission issues' and you'll see a long list of both domestic and transplant products that failed to make the grade, either initially or over time. However a quick visit to an enthusiast's site for your car (Google the model and add 'enthusiast' to the search) or owner's review sites like TrueDelta can tell you all you really need to know about a vehicle's true quality.]

Then there’s the double whammy of depreciation and gas cost.

For a car like the PT Cruiser, depreciation can be an absolute killer. As of writing, a PT Cruiser will lose an estimated 63 percent ($9,644) of it's retail value over five years. That’s far more of a hit than new models like the Yaris ($3,960), or Versa ($5,059), or the Fit ($5,152). For those who keep their rides for five years, the Intellichoice site is a good place to figure out your true costs of ownership, including depreciation. 

If you're one of the wiser souls who decides depreciation should be minimized at all [non] costs, you’ll find that a 10-year ownership period will reduce this difference by at least two-thirds. As common sense suggests, when it comes to depreciation, it's the keeper who usually comes out ahead.

There’s a lot anyone can do to minimize their vehicle’s depreciation. Keep it, clean it, use high quality parts, drive conservatively and know your car by joining an enthusiast's group. But gas cost is a far, far stickier wicket.

The PT Cruiser may be seen as frugal wee beasties, but a 19 city and 24 highway mpg rating puts it far behind on the other three competitors. If you keep a PT for 100k miles and drive evenly between the city and highway, you’ll spend $18,605 on gas (assuming $4/gallon). That is $6,105, $4,320 and $5,490 more than the Yaris, Versa and Fit. Double the duration and your gas costs may outweigh any other single cost. Even depreciation. With gas supply on a perpetual plateau and demand only going up, this is a real deal breaker for those who’ve changed their fuellish ways.

Finally, there’s insurance. An older and more conservative car with a strong safety rating will usually do far better here than a fashionable car that appeals to a riskier audience. In this sense, the PT is good news. A car like the PT Cruiser A) generally appeals to conservative and mature drivers B) offers pretty good safety ratings, and C) and requires cheap replacement parts (as mentioned). Most folks will simply call their insurance company and get a quote. That's fine. But being on the right side of these three rankings can make a big difference on the bottom line. 

So, for a retiree who drives sparingly, a brand new PT Cruiser is an excellent value. For an enthusiast, the Fit and Versa are the more fun vehicles to drive. If you look at cars as an overall economic proposition over a relatively short time period, the Yaris is probably a better bet. Personally I’d pick a VW Rabbit. But that’s an article for another day.

Last year, I scored over $400 worth of auto supplies. All it cost me was sales tax, a few stamps and about thirty minutes of my time. It was a lot of good stuff too: 24 quarts of synthetic motor oil, six gallons of coolant and a seemingly endless amount of top quality car waxes and detail products. Heck, I was even able to get three different tool sets and free wipes once all my maintenance work was done! Unfortunately, for a frugal enthusiast like me, that was then and this is now.

The auto parts market has changed dramatically in the last year. As I reported previously, soaring commodity prices have increased demand for recycling (rather than resale). At the same time, the economic downturn has millions of American motorists hanging onto their cars longer, and buying used instead of new. Rising raw costs and increased demand has made it a seller’s market.

Thus far this year, I’ve scored nothing free. Zero, nilch, nada. Every once in a while I see a complete oil change for $6.99, a free brake ‘inspection’ (with the obligatory small print shop fee) and parts store tools that are still thankfully available for free rental. It’s not the end of the world, but inflation is becoming a real bastard on the finances! Everything costs money now. As enthusiasts we have to watch for the deals whenever they arise.

In my neck of the woods, six auto parts stores serve local pistonheads and repair shops: Advance Auto Parts, NAPA, Autozone, O’Reillys, Pep Boys, and arguably (cough! cough!) Wal-Mart. Each one has their own strengths and weaknesses that I try to play off each other during the year.

For example, Advance often has the cheapest parts available. This makes it a favorite among auto repair facilities and cheapskates in my neck of the woods. For the ‘trader’ who likes to tinker during weekends, Advance is often a good source. However, the ‘keeper’ should only get those parts that have lifetime warranties. From my perspective, that means they should focus instead on the quality side of the equation. Which calls for some serious online cross-shopping.

NAPA offers higher quality parts at a price. From my experience, NAPA’s the ‘Target’ equivalent. If you’re the type who doesn’t want to pay a premium for dealer parts but still wants quality, NAPA may have the best offerings. Rarely will NAPA ever have a good deal on motor oil or detail products. They do however have great deals for those folks looking to keep their car driving like a premium product.

Autozone is good for oils and accessories. It’s the perfect cross-shopping alternative to NAPA and Advance. In my experience, they have the widest selection, and it’s not too difficult to find parts that are similar to the other two retailers. As with all big box retailer these days, many products are virtually identical. Even though the parts manufacturer’s name may be different, it may have indeed come from the very same [Chinese] factory. An online visit to all three of these retailers is always worth the while for TTACers on a budget.

O’Reilly’s offers the most free and cheap repair tools. When they’re overstocked, they also have the best sales. However, you have to visit their stores to find the deals. Last year I bought over $300 worth of auto parts for virtually nothing because I went through the trouble of looking through the coupon rack right by the entrance. A list of 40 products were given in one little note card. An hour later, I was stocked for virtually the entire year. O’Reilly’s also have one of the most diverse additive product offerings I’ve seen. 

Pep Boys and Wal-Mart are usually the cheap tire / cheap oil places. Pep Boys will have the $6.99 oil change deals and Wal-Mart offers oil changes for less than $20. Wal-Mart offers every day low prices while you have to search the Pep Boys Sunday circulars to get the right deals.

Watch out for hidden charges and miscellaneous fees. If you’re one of those that prefer to have someone else do the wrenching, make sure you know the total cost before you visit. Wal-Mart installs tires and changes your oil. Pep Boys will do that and install parts as well. In both instances, I would still prefer the services of a reputable independent mechanic.

Car-part.com is another excellent source for factory parts. I suggest you visit the site before going the used/recycled route. Craigslist can be a Shangri-la for cheap parts, and EBay still offers plenty of good deals for those who are willing to wait a week.

In the today’s world of car parts, there's no such thing as a free quart of synthetic oil. It pays to look around and shop smart.

I studied epistemology in a college religion class. Epistemology is a fifty cent word for the branch of philosophy that explores the way in which man learns truth. What leads a person to the certain conclusion that God exists? Is it the conclusion of a logical process? Or personal spiritual experience? Maybe it’s embracing family tradition? At the risk of offending deity and condemning my soul to an eternity burning amid fire and Bridgestone, I liken the process of buying new tires to the quest for faith.

When we buy a car, we are able to visit local dealerships to test drive the vehicles under consideration. We can see, hear, feel, smell and [theoretically] taste a car before we buy it. Of course there are variables that are unknowable after 20-minutes at the helm and an hour putzing around the sales floor. But our personal sensory experience generally provides enough data to conclude whether a candidate car meets our needs, desires, and budget.

It’s not the same with tires. Ideally buyers could mount various tires to their car and perform comparative test drives back-to-back before deciding on what rubber they want to invest in.

The closest experience I’ve had to this occurred last year when Cooper Tires invited me (along with a dozen other auto journalists) to their test track near Pearsall, Texas.  They prepared a number of head-to-head comparisons between their new CS4 tire and selected competitors.

Scribes were allowed to race a Mustang fitted with CS4s through a wetted rally track back-to-back with a second Mustang fitted with Bridgestones. Next we drove two identical Cadillac DTS’ shoed with Coopers and Continentals through an emergency stop trap.  In each instance, the CS4 performed favorably.

I don’t think the Cooper folks did anything underhanded, but like a vacuum cleaner salesman who demonstrates his product sucking-up nuts and bolts, the tests were clearly designed to show their product in the most favorable light. 

So we’re still relegated to grasping for truth through a fog-filled maze of mirrors. The manufactures (i.e. father of lies) and their self-serving marketing claims simply can’t be trusted. Most tire dealers (i.e. devil’s spawn) are equally untrustworthy; they will spin you toward the tire that makes them the most money. Car buff book, consumer guides and tire rag evaluations (i.e. sacred writ) are compromised by the same temptations that afflict their car reviews: pressure from big advertisers and addiction to the press junket gravy train.

That narrows reconnaissance options to word-of-mouth and Internet reviews (i.e. testimonials), both of which are also fraught with risk. When your neighbor (i.e. the zealot) tells you about his favorite tire, you have to wonder, “What the Hell does HE know about it?” Has he compared his favorite doughnut to each competitor so he can draw comparisons? More importantly, his automobile and driving style are unlikely to match your own. 

Internet user reviews might be the most suspect of all. You can never fully know the background and biases of the reviewers. A bitter critic stung by bad service or stuck with a lemon could be on an e-jihad to ensure that the world hears of his pain. Furthermore, I find that familiarity breeds contempt among the most popular models. Somehow human nature makes us want to despise the successful and root for underdogs.

On the other hand, the review you are reading might be the handiwork of a marketing firm looking to stack the net with glowing reviews of their client’s product. Shopcartusa.com (i.e. Beelzebub) is an obvious example of this nefarious practice.

[Last year, as I searched for the best deal on a new camera body I stumbled across their site. Their “customers” unwaveringly gave thousands of five-star ratings and rave reviews of known suspect merchants, some of whom fell under indictment by the New Jersey State Attorney General.]

If you manufactured tires, wouldn’t you make sure that there were as many positive reviews about your product posted on TireRack.com as possible?  If an electronic warrior is smarter than the guys at Shopcartusa.com, they can make favorable reviews look quite natural and convincing.

Most tire buyers become so confused by the chorus (i.e. legion) of unreliable messages that they immerse themselves in the only thing they know for sure– their own experience (i.e. tradition). But this fear of getting something bad blinds us from discovering anything better.

In my most recent tire search, my cynical self (i.e. the tire agnostic) was left to sort through the mass of information, sniffing each data and casting aside anything smelling of spin, reeking of bile or spritzed with eau de incompétence. I looked for threads of consensus from the many differing sources that remain. Balancing these conclusions against my needs and budget led me to my final selection. And then I prayed that I’d made the best choice.

[Cooper tires provided Mr. Montgomery with lunch, track time and insurance.] 

In Michelangelo Antonioni's film "Blow Up," Thomas (David Hemming) watches a rock guitarist smash his ax and toss the remnants into the audience. Caught up in the spirit of the moment, Thomas joins the scrum scrambling for a piece of the dead guitar. He grabs the lion's share and runs away. Dozens of fans give chase, attempting to wrest the prize from his grasp. Finally, Thomas is clear of the crowd. Alone with his treasure, he contemplates his booty– and then casually tosses it into a nearby trash can. Nissan GTR anyone?

Sacrilege! The new Nissan GT-R blasts from zero to 60mph in 3.5 seconds, navigates the Nürburgring as fast as the Porsche 911 Turbo and (allegedly) does so with more confidence than Stuttgart's finest. All this with a Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) starting just under $70k. Clearly, it's the performance automotive bargain of the decade.

On the day the initial U.S. dealer allocations of GT-Rs were announced, the mathematics made the problem clear. Nissan deemed exactly 691 dealers "qualified" (i.e. large and financially productive enough) to sell the GT-R. During the model's inaugural year, Nissan will build 2500 GT-Rs worldwide, only 1400 vehicles of which will make it stateside.

It doesn't take long to divide 1400 by 691 and conclude that the anointed U.S. Nissan dealers will receive two GT-Rs (on average). Since these dealers were obliged to make an investment in the equipment needed to service the GT-R's unique run flat tires, it makes sense that they'd want to recoup that investment ASAP, over the two model transactions they'll experience in 2008. And, lest we forget, they're car dealers.

Bottom line: a "buyer's premium."   

So when I contacted my local dealer to place an order for my very own Nissan GT-R, I wasn't surprised to encounter a lot of squirming and shadow puppeteering. This, of course, gave me a reverse Groucho Marx; I wanted to join a club that didn't want me as a member. BUT–  

I am allergic to paying more than MSRP for anything (I have a doctor's note to prove it). The idea of forking over a significant premium for a GT-R in its first year of release makes me feel both elated and stupid.

To delete "stupid" from this equation, I began an on-line investigation, hoping to tap the experiences of other enthusiasts desperately seeking a Nissan GT-R. Most of the stories I encountered indicated that dealers were adding a $10k to $25k additional onto the car's MSRP.

About a half dozen commentators listed dealers committed to selling their GT-Rs at MSRP. This information did me little good, as one sale accounted for half of their allocation. By the time I'd identified the virtuous dealer their other GT-R was also sold. Living in California didn't help; the Golden State's love for fast cars seems to blur the lines of whatever rational decision-making may remain within state borders.

Of course, the upshot of this hot model fever is a four-wheeled Ponzi scheme. Aside from the Ferrari Enzo, you can count on one hand the number of cars that garnered a premium from the onset, and maintained that value (and you'd still have enough fingers left to make gang signs). Anyone remember the $100k dealers placed on top of the dreadful BMW Z8? The SL55 AMG for $50k on top? And yes, people paid above the odds for a Pontiac Solstice.

Eventually, as the hot model cools, someone gets burned. IF you're going to pay a premium for a hot car, the "trick" is to do so straight out of the chute, then sell the car before availability catches-up with demand. Given that the Nissan GT-R ain't no Ferrari, and Nissan dealers love money, I reckon Nissan will up production after the 2008 model year, big style. At that point, the premium will disappear, for both buyer and seller.

You want to talk about killer depreciation? Then you need to contemplate the concept of "front loading" an asset destined to shed value. A 2005 SL55 AMG with less than 20k on the clock can now be yours for $86k as a certified pre-owned car from an MB dealer- and a lot less as a private purchase. With Solsti piling-up on dealer lots, there isn't a single soul in the U.S. who'll pay you above the odds for a new one. Not one. 

So I'm hot on this quest to find someone who will accept my order for a Nissan GTR at MSRP and I've never even seen one in person– let alone felt the driving experience. Two questions. How long will the hype last? With all this demand and little supply, how long will there be someone willing to pluck this discard from my trash heap and pay ME more than MSRP for the privilege? Second, would I even like it?  

When it comes to buying fish, stocks, bonds or cars, timing is everything. The factors determining a savvy buyer’s ideal window of opportunity are mercurial. And, like the mystery surrounding a good fishing hole, there are plenty of industry professionals whose livelihood depends on shrouding the “inside line” in secrecy. For example, you won't find prices for “leftover” ’07 Chevrolet Malibus on Edmunds or kbb. Of course, when it comes to car buying advice, The Truth About Cars is on YOUR side. We’re here to help.  

If you want to save money, it often pays to wait until a manufacturer introduces a new version of an existing model. Dealers hawk model year “close outs” on a regular basis. But the deals don’t get crack-a-lackin’ until the model undergoes a significant “refresh.” If the “old” model looks old or the “new” model is significantly better— like, say, the aforementioned Malibu— the discounts are intense.We've found new old ‘Bu's for $5k off list.

Normally, model “refreshes” are evolutionary, not revolutionary. And the price difference ‘twixt old and new is impressive, not astounding. But impressive ain’t bad. Let’s have a look…

The Nissan Murano has been a solid seller since its introduction in 2003 (with a 2004 model year designation.) This first major update has now shipped, as a 2009. As there was no 2008 model, disconcerted dealers now have 2009 AND 2007 Muranos on sitting on their lots side-by-side. 

What’s the diff?  The new model gets a more hideous nose and badly revised sheetmetal. Horsepower’s up 25, though mileage remains roughly the same. Nissan claims the new Murano has increased rigidity and decreased noise. In the main, that’s it.

There is a value to newness. It is nice being the first on your block with a car no one’s seen before, to feel special for a while, like you’re on the cutting edge. But there’s also value to be extracted from Nissan dealers with unlucky ‘07s who MUST lure customers away from the new and improved Murano. We're talking $1,500 from Nissan and the $2,500 between the dealer’s sticker and his or her invoice. Or more.

After six years, Volvo is also launching a heavily-revised V70 wagon. The new model takes their bread-and-butter load lugger up a whole platform, from P2 (shared with the S60) to P24 (shared with the S80). Bottom line: it’s a move up market, not up-size. In America, the engine gains a cylinder, the horsepower jumps from 168 to 235, (the 2007 turbo makes 218) and gas mileage drops by around five mpg. The new V-wagon extends a lineage of safety innovations and offers some unique new features, like a power tailgate.

Volvo's a done a good job reducing supplies of the outgoing model. But more than a few 2007s V70s lurk on the lots. In the notoriously cool buying climate of January and February, buyers could find discounts as deep as upstate New York snow. There’s around $2k between invoice and sticker, more with more depending on options and local incentives.  

In 2003, the Pontiac Vibe began rolling out of the NUMMI plant (a joint venture between General Motors and Toyota) and the Toyota Matrix emerged from Toyota's Cambridge, Ontario plant. Both vehicles are tall, harshly-styled Corollas– and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Both the Vibe and the Matrix are reliable, versatile, borderline fun vehicles. They just look… dated.

The models’ sheetmetal changes a bit, but the song remains the same; there’s no drastic increase in size. Horsepower is up, without a hit to gas mileage. For the base 1.8-liter engine, GM and Toyota lose the manual transmission option. Toyota and Pontiac are also offering a 2.4-liter powerplant putting out 158 hp. All wheel-drive is back as on option. If these things be important to you, stay home until March. 

Good news for the bargain shopper: the 2009 versions of Matrix-Vibe don’t look all that much better. Go poke around under the plastic pennants and you'll find aggressively-priced models aplenty. Dealers are watching flat spots grow on these all season radials, knowing the new 2009's are being assembled in California and Canada as I type. 

Here’s the caveat: resale. When a new model comes out, it dings the value of the previous model. In the grand scheme of things, over the long term, it’s not a huge hit. In the short term, it’s a big old whack. If you’re planning to sell your pre-model change car in two to three years, you will not get as much money as if you’d bought the “new” new car.

If you sell your pre-model change vehicle in five to seven years (or longer), factors like mileage and condition come to the fore. Of course, even then, timing is everything.

From candy corn to Lincoln Continentals, Craigslist is the ultimate Turkish bazaar. It's an almost universally accessible free market for millions of folks who once paid (and paid) for the ‘privilege’ of selling their stuff. From a pistonhead perspective, Craigslist seems to be a great place to buy and sell automobiles. Even a brief scan shows that the site offers a vehicle for every type of appliance seeker, enthusiast and hobbyist. I’ve been using Craigslist as my site du jour for nearly three years. During that time, I’ve sold more than a hundred vehicles through the service. But I'm a pro, and I’m here to warn you that there's a dark side to the deal.

While Craigslist offers free, instant access to an enormous quantity of listings and potential buyers, car buyers and sellers get very little information about the vehicle involved. Vehicle Identification (VIN) numbers, ownership histories and other critical details regarding the car’s true condition (i.e. collisions, insurance claims, outstanding debt) are few and far between. You can imagine what happens next…

I’ve seen cars from commercial auctions with salvage and rebuilt titles advertised on Craigslist with nary a mention of these “issues.” And that’s not the half of it. I’ve heard numerous tales of car dealers stuck with lemons using Craigslist to make lemonade, sticking their poison fruit on someone else’s plate. And these are just the pros. We’ll never know how many less than scrupulous private sellers have hidden potentially lethal problems or grievously misrepresented their rides.

Craigslist– like any website encouraging “real world” interaction– also has the potential to connect buyers or sellers with deviants, thieves and thugs. Scam artists bent on identity theft can use Craigslist contact to solicit credit card information from all-too-gullible buyers. Fake car buyers can show-up for a test drive, convince buyers to let them take a solo test drive, and disappear. But wait; there’s worse…

Way back in July ‘06, the San Francisco Gate newspaper reported that several Craigslist advertisers were held up at gunpoint by criminals posing as buyers and sellers. “In April, two men in Boston who responded to an ad for a used 1995 Honda Civic were robbed of their money,” the paper reports. “The suspect directed the men behind a house to look at the car, and then pulled a gun and forced the victims to the ground before fleeing, according to Boston police.”

Obviously, printed classifieds also offer (offered?) criminals a chance to find their marks. But just as the web makes commercial transactions vastly more efficient, Craigslist has made it easier for dangerous and devious criminals to identify, lure and victimize their targets.

Crime thrives in the dark. Returning to the actual transaction, the scrupulous seller who provides full disclosure on Craigslist is no more likely to find favor than the unscrupulous scammer whose car title is as genuine as a thirty-three dollar bill. Once a Craigslist user buys a vehicle, it’s theirs and that’s that. A dishonest seller can easily continue with their deceptive and dishonest practices, under a different name if necessary.

Craigslist does not attack abuse. Click on the New York City site’s “personal safety tips” and you’re assured that the “incidence of violent crime has been extremely low.” One of five bullet pointed tips advises you to “trust your instincts.”

Click on “avoid scams” and the site advises you to “DEAL LOCALLY WITH FOLKS YOU CAN MEET IN PERSON – follow this one simple rule and you will avoid 99% of the scam attempts on Craigslist.” And if that one simple rule doesn’t save you from fraud, they refer you to the Federal Trade Commission, the Internet Crime Complaint Center or your local police’s “non emergency number.” 

The real answer to this question is on eBay. Not only does eBay have a Global Law Enforcement Operations Team that actively pursues fraudsters, but they also provide buyers with a feedback mechanism to check the seller’s reputation. Sellers must provide a vehicle’s VIN number, which links to a downloadable AutoCheck report ($7.99). eBay also automatically protects buyers of qualified passenger vehicles against certain types of fraud (e.g. it’s a stolen car, unrevealed damage above $1k or a vehicle simply never gets delivered), up to $20k. 

All of which means that scam artists have a harder time slipping through eBay’s net, and if they do, the car buyer has financial or criminal redress.

Since I first used Craigslist, the site has gone from being a quality-focused website to the electronic equivalent of the Wild West. The days when this electronic bazaar was a well kept secret used by overwhelmingly decent and (how can I say this nicely) intelligent users are long gone. The truth is that anyone who uses Craigslist instead of eBay now does so at their own peril, which is far greater than most people realize.