“Wooden Shoe Rather Be Dutch?” Sigh. Bumper sticker humor aside, the Subaru Legacy had 140k miles on the clock and a well-maintained powertrain (records in the glovebox). The hardback book about Abraham Lincoln under the driver’s seat gave me hope that the owner was equally conservative with his driving. After a bit of tire kicking, I slowly concluded that the old girl had plenty of life left. Fortunately, the kicked-in driver’s door and smelly interior made the other dealers turn-up their nose when the Subie went across the block. For $500, the Legacy became mine… all mine. BWAHAHAHHA!!!!

Welcome to the wonderful world of the $500 car. From public auctions to impound lots to private sales and eBay, they’re there for the taking. We’re talking old Fords that hardly ever fail, to mondo mileage minivans with the interiors to match. The cost of today’s ‘affordable’ commuter has rapidly sunk to the point where it’s nearly equal to the price of a new scooter. Even better, as the old saying goes, “They ain’t building em’ like they used too.”  They’re building them better.

Thanks to huge advances in mechanical engineering, materials and manufacturing, the average vehicle has a remarkable ability to sustain itself well in six figures on the clock and double decades on the calendar– given the right owner and proper maintenance.

In my daily work as a dealer, I see the results of this every day: old Camrys old enough to drink in all fifty states that run as well as a twenty-year-old sewing machine; old Volvo wagons that you can’t kill with a stick, SUVs built for durability instead of bling that can still climb every mountain, conventional family sedans that have watched an entire generation grow up and head off to college, ready for grandchild duty.

For a true indication of the average car’s added endurance, look no further than Canada. Our neighbors in the Great White North recently reported that the number of 15-year-old vehicles on their roads had skyrocketed from just 800k in 1990 to 2.8m today. They’re not hanging onto to their vehicles longer because they’re poor. They’re doing it because they can. And the money saved is phenomenal. But the $500 car? How can that be a good deal?

First of all, understand this: the $500 car always has something wrong with it. Examples: the Subaru had a foul odor and a severely dented door. A $100 door and a $50 detail brought it back to its rightful glory. A 1989 Toyota Camry and a 1993 Eagle Vision I bought for $500 apiece needed nothing more than a $190 paint job (called a “scuff and shoot”). Two 1989 Volvo 240 Wagons, a 1988 Isuzu Trooper and a 1991 Ford Explorer Sport needed… well… nothing actually. They were just unpopular and ‘old’. Finally, a 1977 Mercedes 350SE bought for $250 needed a/c, new tires, and an alignment.

That old Merc was a freakish, right place/right time deal. But all the others had dozens of eyes on them and nary an interested buyer in sight. But why did all these sell so cheaply? Most car shoppers (and dealers) judge a book by its cover. Fashion rules. A damaged door or other body panel, peeling paint or lack of functional air conditioning stops most buyers in their tracks.

In time though, most folks pretty much just treat their cars as appliances. If it breaks a little bit, but it still works, they figure why bother even fixing it? Car buyers prefer to trade-in or sell their problems instead of fixing them, predominantly because they believe the repair cost is simply too much to bear.

That’s where the challenge and opportunity lies. Paint is cheap, parts at the local recycling yard (check car-part.com) or parts store are a fraction of dealer prices, and the time spent calling a few shops to get a direct quote for the labor on a specific repair costs you absolutely nothing. Enthusiast sites for specific cars are great at telling you the weak spots of any particular model, and what to look for during the test drive. Again this costs nothing but time and the willingness to learn.

For those of us who buy for the long haul, or just want a good cheap car to play with for a while, my advice is to look at the ‘scratch and dent’ side of the market. There are a lot of cheap old cars out there that had owners who did the maintenance, but not the cosmetics or the seemingly big repair.  A little homework and a good independent mechanic can truly give you a ‘keeper’.   It will also stave off the five figured financial scourges of depreciation, higher ad valorem taxes, and insurance while keeping your car hobby affordable and fun.

“Is that yours?” Millions of car buyers spend billions of dollars hoping that this statement will be born of admiration rather than pity. When these words come out of a car dealer’s mouth at trade-in time, they can be especially hurtful– even if the salesman is as honest as their spiel is long. That’s the moment when most car buyers finally discover whether or not their automotive “investment” has walked off a cliff and fallen into the financial abyss known as depreciation. Here’s how to avoid the freefall…

It simply can’t be stressed enough. Depreciation is the mother of all automotive operating costs. Even if gas soars to four bucks a gallon, depreciation STILL repesents the biggest hit to the car owner’s wallet. To wit: The average cost for a new car in these great United State currently hovers around $24k. After seven to eight years– not far from the ever-increasing average amount of time American new car buyers hold onto their whips– the car’s owner will be looking at a depreciation rate somewhere between 70 percent and 85 percent.

In other words, come trade-in time, they’re facing an average loss between $16,800 and $20,400. That’s before any considering of the “opportunity cost” (i.e. money lost by NOT investing the cash in a house/money market/alpaca farm). Or inflation.

Bottom line: if you want to avoid depreciation, forget about buying a new car. Yes, a new car offers warranty-related peace of mind. But it's an extremely expensive security blanket. A carefully-selected used car may need repairs, but in most cases, they'll still cost a lot less than depreciation..   

If you're willing to forgo that new car smell, figuring-out your buying pattern is the next step. There are two basic buying types: Keepers (keep cars for the long haul) and Traders (trade them in after a few years).

Many Keepers are ready, willing and able to enjoy a vehicle for well over a decade. “Keepers” believe their car should be a cruising companion until the point where the perceived risk of owning it (usually the cash outlay for major repairs) outweighs the fact that ownership itself [eventually] costs them nothing/virtually nothing. In the automotive world, they are what we call "married."

The key to being a successful Keeper: marry genuine quality, not reputation. Say what you will about “import bigots” and brand loyalty, but the automotive market is a place where perceived reputation translates into dollars and cents. Toyotas and Hondas routinely receive price premiums– even though many of their products fall far short in value and performance as compared to their peers. By the same token, overlooked or unloved models represent an excellent way to keep the hounds of depreciation at bay.

In most cases, car buyers get more bang for their buck (power, features, etc.), lower up-front costs, and lower depreciation costs simply by buying a used example of a less well known/accepted car. Mitsubishi, Subaru, Saturn– there are plenty of brands that sell excellent products that simply fail to capture the public imagination. The fact that these cars take a huge initial hit on depreciation works entirely in your favor, both buying and selling. 

For example, if you’re looking at a midsized commuter, a 2004 Buick Century or 2004 Oldsmobile Bravada, both of which finished first in J.D. Power’s recent dependability study and received strong ownership ratings, will cost thousands less to purchase than a comparable Camry, Accord or Pilot. Remember: badge snobs must pay for the privilege. 

The Trader is a different animal, a shorter time horizon than the Keeper, requiring a different strategy.

To avoid depreciation, Traders are best off buying a carefully vetted five to seven-year-old car of their choice. At that point, depreciation has exacted the majority of its revenge. With due diligence, Traders can get a superb return on their money. The average five-year-old car kept for two years experiences minimal depreciation (20 percent or so). The average seven-year-old car experiences even less, and so on. It's a simple but highly effective buying pattern.

And then there is the Sage. The Sage can buy nearly anything and make a buck at it. Yours truly has enjoyed hundreds of vehicles over the last few years– and it’s only taken huge chunks of my free time to do it. Mechanics, auto auctioneers, wholesalers, retailers and hobbyists will always have an edge when it comes to depreciation costs. We know what’s hot, and we know plenty of people who appreciate hotness.

Again, wisdom comes at a cost. Sages don’t pay for depreciation (much), but their insight requires years of hard work, money (mistakes are never free) and a feel for the auto biz' cycles of fashion and fame.

Whether you’re a Keeper, Trader or Sage, remember: a car is an expense. It may excite you or be a daily nuisance, but it is still an expense. By minimizing depreciation you will avoid the single largest cost in the process. With that money you can save the world, buy groceries or save up for your next car.  

Jet planes, armored personnel carriers and racecars all have nitrogen-filled tires. So it’s got to be cool, right? I mean, I wish my Honda Odyssey minivan was more like an F-22 in some way. Or in any way. Anyway, is it worth an average five bucks a tire to stuff your rubber with the seventh element? For the majority of American drivers– those who do not routinely drive through flaming pools of fuel, off-road on dunes hotter than Scarlett Johansson’s hips or hit 200mph on the straight-aways– the answer is a simple “no.” Yet thousands of vendors are setting up nitrogen pumps and enticing people to pop open their stems. What’s the point?

Purified nitrogen is more stable and less corrosive than a compressed version of the air we breathe. By its lonesome, nitrogen clumps in large molecules. Even better, it’s not oxygen, which is the root of oxidation, which eats rubber just like steel, just not as dramatically or visibly. All of this means the gas has two things going for it.

First, compressed air is a blend of oxygen and other tire degrading contaminants, including water. Your tires should last longer filled with pure, dry, nitrogen gas. Second, nitrogen’s larger molecules are less likely to seep through rubber. Nitrogen-filled tires delivers more consistent inflation pressure– especially under temperature fluctuations. Studies suggest nitrogen-filled tires will remain properly inflated three times longer than air-puffed companions.

Nitrogen’s advantages are solid (so to speak)– provided you’re a diligent motorist and nitrogen refills are free. Add some nonchalance and a dollar figure and the benefits evaporate.

Oxygen only accounts for about 21 percent of the ambient air (nitrogen makes up 78 percent). And oxygen is going to eat the outside of the tire– no matter would put inside. And if you don’t drive that much, you’re not getting the air inside all hot and bothered, which increases the decay rate.

In truth, most drivers are going to wear out their tires long before the rubber will decay enough to lower tire performance or safety; those radials will last until much of the gas– any gas– seeps out. I repeat: whether you drive a lot or a little, internal tire degradation isn’t much of a worry.

Proper inflation is the real issue. Under-inflated tires reduce gas mileage. They flatten out, creating more surface area and thus adding friction, which makes the engine work harder. The extra friction, and resulting heat, also increases the chance of a blowout. A properly inflated tire is always safer and more efficient than under-inflated shoes (unless you’re driving across a sand dune).

Nitrogen’s reluctance to leave the wheel is a blessing because it helps maintain tire pressure at optimal levels. Of course, checking your tire pressure once a month does the same thing. AND regular checks get you close to the rubber for a chance of seeing something else that might be going wrong: weird wear, a protruding rail spike, a chunk scraped away by that curb you forgot you hit, etc.

In any case, tire manufactures reckon your tires lose around one pound per month of inflation pressure. There are a ton of variables, but the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says that maintaining recommended pressure improves the average driver’s gas mileage by three percent. That’s about $50 a year just for paying attention– not to mention the better handling and reliability that come along for the ride.

Yes but– nitrogen is still going to leave the inside of your tires for the big, wide world; just not as quickly as oxygen. A pound’s worth of gas might seep out in three months, rather than one. Meanwhile, the idea that nitrogen-stuffed tires are a fill-it-and-leave-it alternative to air is an inherently dangerous supposition. Drivers still need to get down, stick on a gauge and hear the hiss whether they’ve used air, nitrogen or cream filling. Nitrogen hype can end up doing more harm than good.

Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co. is ambivalent about the use of nitrogen. The Rubber Manufacturers Association says it it’s a good thing– when it’s free. Michelin goes a step further. They recommend nitrogen only for tires used “in high risk environments” like aircraft landing gear and racing.

A quick look at a few of the nitrogen generator manufacturers’ websites can give you an idea what may be driving some of the interest in swapping tire gasses. N2 machines can operate for as little as 25 cents an application. The generators themselves go for as little as four grand. After the first 200 or so nitrogen fill-ups, these things are more profitable than pretzel carts.

As with most things, it’s all about me. I’ve got to be more conscientious about checking and rotating my tires. If I want them to be all they can be, I’ve got to be better. It’s what’s inside that counts-– or, in the case of nitrogen, not. So, to make my minivan more like a fighter plane, I’m looking at other modifications. Possibly chaff.

Also, if your tires suck and you’re shopping for new tires, help support TTAC’s work by doing your research at TireReviewsandMore.com. — TTAC Staff

Scared of car dealer scams? Detroit News writer John McCormick says chill. In an editorial entitled "Afraid of shopping for a car? Get over it;" McCormick chronicled his recent car buying experience. The automotive scribe claims it's no biggie; car dealers are populated by "courteous, knowledgeable and professional" sales staff. While we're all glad Mr. McCormick's had such a wonderful experience securing a new whip, the chances of anyone else emerging with similar satisfaction makes Powerball look like a safe bet.

As expressed here in numerous articles and comments, buying a new car ranks just above root canal surgery on most people's "Things I'd Rather Take a Stick in the Eye Than Do" list. (At least the root canal is endured under the influence of pain-numbing pharmaceuticals.) While I've yet to see a car dealership with a large banner proclaiming "Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here," I'm sure you could buy a car in at least one of Dante's circles of Hell. 

Car dealer profiling? Hardly. A few months ago, the mailman delivered an envelope bearing the logos of several GM divisions along with the words "Urgent Recall Notice." Although I don't currently own a GM vehicle, I've stabled several in the past. From time to time, I receive a recall notice from GM with a check box to inform them I no longer own the vehicle. This one was different. It was from a dealer– Bill Heard Chevrolet– and said I should call the dealership for important information concerning my vehicle (without specifying which one). I threw it in the circular file.

On Monday, The Georgia Office of Consumer Affairs filed suit against Bill Heard Chevrolet Company for "false and deceptive advertisements." And no wonder: there was no recall. The mailings were a ruse to get recipients to call Heard, so sales staff could flog rubes another car or a service contract. Heard attorney J. Matthew Maguire Jr. admitted that the faux notices were "inappropriate," but insisted that an independent advertising firm mailed them without Billy Boy's approval.

Folks, this ain't no nickel and dime operation. Heard operates 15 stores in seven U.S. states, with a claimed annual turnover of $2.5b. And this is hardly the organization's first brush with the law; the Georgia lawsuit chronicles 16 years of consumer complaints. The website ripoffreport.com lists 193 complaints against the Heard chain, from overcharging to high pressure sales tactics to removing the federally-mandated window sticker.

Heard's scams are literally the tip of the iceberg. Underneath this obvious deception lies a world of dealer deceit: hidden last minute extras added to the finance contract, "yo-yo financing" (calling the customer back for a deal redo), falsified credit reports, raising payments after completion, over-charging for "etching" (extra security marking) getting customers to sign blank paperwork, sweetheart deals with local lenders (hidden kickbacks) and more.

Clearly, what McCormick (and gullible buyers) can't see CAN hurt them. And yes, John it's true: Detroit's equally prey to this capitalistic cancer. According to the non-profit public interest organization Public Citizen, "Evidence from recent litigation, industry insiders and consumer complaints show that these practices are not restricted to a few areas or dealerships. Further, it is very likely that deceitful trends are spreading as more and more dealerships become part of major conglomerates."

If Mr. McCormick somehow believes these unscrupulous dealers are the exception to the rule, perhaps he should listen to Nat Shulman. A couple of years ago, the former owner of Best Chevrolet in Hingham, MA and columnist for Ward's Dealer Business served-up a brutally frank assessment of automobile dealer dishonesty.

"If dealer new car profit margins keep getting squeezed by Detroit so that the majority of dealers are losing money in their new car departments, these types of consumer rip-offs will continue to appear. True, they will happen in dealerships with questionable ethical standards, but who among us is immune from desperate measures when we're losing our butts every time we sell a new vehicle?"

At least McCormick got one thing right: "Part of the art of having a relatively happy car buying experience is some knowledge of the process. Take the time to research the procedure — easily done through a variety of Web sites — and you will feel much more comfortable when you step through the doors."

If you want that "relatively happy" experience, we recommend that your pre-visit research should include a Google search of the term "car dealer rip-offs." As for "getting over your fear," forgeddaboutit. Given the shady schemes bilking millions of American car customers out of billions of bucks each and every year, anyone who isn't afraid of shopping for a car will eventually learn that ignorance is the most expensive kind of bliss.

Click here to read Mr. McCormick's article

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When it comes to buying a used car there are two basic negotiating mindsets. You can either be fair and decent or unfair and obnoxious. You need only visit a used car lot to know that unfair and obnoxious works. But it is also true that many sellers respond extremely well to honesty and decency. Win – win is no sin. So, karma lovers, here's some tips for negotiating the purchase of a used car by traveling down the righteous route.

If you've followed steps one through three, you've already achieved a major victory. You've found a car that's superior to 90-plus percent of what's out there. Rejoice and let the seller enjoy the benefits of properly maintaining his car. Again, the "completed items" section of eBay is the only guide to the "right" price to pay for a given used car.

I always perform the final negotiations face-to-face. Do not discount the importance of charm, relaxed body language and a civilized tone of voice. Prepare yourself by deciding the absolute top price you're willing to pay for the car. The basic formula: the seller's asking price – agreed deductions for repair costs = the eBay price. More or less. 

Begin by declaring your intention to buy the car, subject to a nominal adjustment for necessary repairs. If these repairs are minor, immediately offer to split the difference for the repair costs and call it good. If, however, mission critical repairs run into the high hundreds to thousands of dollars, you have an "opportunity" ahead of you.

In this case, it's often helpful to ask your mechanic to fax the used car's inspection report to the seller before you speak with them. At first, the seller (and possibly you) may be shocked by the numbers involved. This can be especially true with older vehicles and luxury cars. However, with a little constructive conversation, even the most alarming repair costs needn't kill the possibility of an amicable agreement.

I like to start negotiations for cars with repair "issues" by giving the seller an opportunity to do the right thing. "Given what's in front of us right now," I ask. "What would be the fair way for both of us to resolve these repair costs?"

Worst case, the sellers stand pat. In that case, walk. Best case, the seller says they'll simply lop-off the total bill from the asking price. If that happens, it's time to shake hands and do the deal.

Some sellers offer to reduce the asking price by a very low number, figuring you're there to haggle (hoping you won't). Provided the asking price minus 50 percent of the repair costs is acceptable, again, offer to split the difference. If that doesn't work for either or both of you, it's time to go through the inspection report– and the probable costs of repair– line by line.

Keep in mind some items are your financial responsibility. Unless it involves a major repair (timing belt, water pump, adjusting the valves, etc.), upcoming maintenance regimens are always down to you. In particular, oil changes, tune-ups and replacing filters that aren't necessary right now should be removed from your list. By doing this from the onset, you're showing goodwill and fairness.

If the seller claims the cost of repair listed in your inspection is too high, ask them if they know of another mechanic who'd be willing to do it for less, and the type of guarantee they will offer. I've seen $450 repairs with 30-day guarantees turn into $200 repairs with a full year guarantee. If the car is worth it to you, it pays to explore alternatives that will benefit both of you. It may take research and patience, but it can be done.

Finally, if you have experience repairing minor automotive issues, use that skill to create some wiggle room to help close the deal. "You know, I think I could handle that myself. What do you think about us taking off x repair? Would a price of y make it a fair deal for both of us?"

If you can come to a mutual understanding, congratulations! If not, don't beat a dead horse. I like to back-out by thanking the seller for their time, leaving a copy of the inspection report as a "gift" and telling them my final price, should they reconsider. Above all, don't sweat it. There are plenty of excellent used cars out there looking for a good home.

To recap: research diligently, test drive patiently, let an expert figure out the unknowns, and negotiate in good faith. Do this and you'll save unnecessary test drives and thousands of dollars in future repair costs. You'll also buy the cream of the automotive crop at an extremely fair price.  

In 1959, William Lederer and Eugene Burdick wrote The Ugly American. The novel was celebrated by self-loathing intellectuals, who agreed with disdainful Europeans that Americans are far too stupid and arrogant to play any "useful" role in world politics. Yeah, well, screw that. If you're a latter day pistonhead willing to represent in the Eurozone, I suggest you do your bit to grace the Olde Worlde with American wit, intelligence, insight and humility. Buy your next ferrin' car via a European delivery program.

The process is simple enough. Head down to your local franchised new car dealer, check book and passport in hand. Tell the shysters you'd like to buy car "X" with your choice of options. Oh, and you want to pick it up at the factory or at "select pickup locations across Europe." Then watch the smile disappear from your salesman's face.

Here's the good news (for you): buying your car overseas is about five to 13 percent cheaper than an American handover. This discount does not reflect a reduction in taxes or duties, as many buyers are lead to believe. It's down to the fact that cars delivered in Europe are excluded from most or all manufacturer-to-dealer incentives and kickbacks. Hence the salesman's dismay and the lack of European delivery posters thereabouts.

As an example, I took delivery of a 2006 Volvo V70R på Svenska. I saved over $6k (13 percent) off the manufacturer's suggested retail price and the deal included round trip airfare. 

Six automakers currently offer Yanks European delivery: Audi, BMW, Mercedes, Porsche and Saab. Of course, if you're buying at the tippy top of the luxury car market, Maserati, Lamborghini, Ferrari, Rolls-Royce and Bentley will all pander to your autobahn ambitions. They'll pick you up at the airport, arrange your accommodations and charge you great big stacks of cash to shuttle your ride stateside (forget that discount).

BMW and Volvo are the big boys in the Euro delivery game. They continually jostle for Number One bragging rights, delivering around ten cars per day to American owners. Mercedes clocks in at number three with some 1300 cars delivered in 2005, and the others round out the bottom with significantly smaller numbers. BMW and Volvo's higher volumes make their programs the most polished. They provide more assistance in travel planning, packaged holiday tours, route planning and special events.

A few months after your order, you can fly to Europe to pick up your new whip. Depending on the manufacturer, you may be offered a factory tour, a ride in their stretched limos and bratwurst or a meatball or two (the Saab lutefisk lunch deal has thankfully been dropped). Once you've racked up a few miles of smiles, you drop your car off, fly home and wait six to 14 weeks for your ride to arrive stateside.

The shipping doesn't cost you a dime; all Euro delivery programs' pricing scheme include shipping, duties, fees and destination charges. The dealer can arrange dockside pickup, registration and home delivery. All European delivery-mobiles are 100 percent North American spec vehicles (sorry kiddies, no Euro-only models) equipped with U.S. spec lights and emissions control systems.

And now the downsides…

Under the terms of all European delivery programs, you must buy your new car before it actually exists. The first month's loan or lease payment is typically due before your car is even built. Since banks and credit unions are a little wary of loaning money on cars that have yet to be screwed together, you're usually stuck with the car manufacturer's finance company or paying cash.

You must pick up the car yourself; your kids can't vacation in your new 3-Series convertible and your mistress can't swan around in your (her?) new Mercedes Benz. The program is not available on certain BMW models like the Z4 or X5, or select Mercedes models (ML, G, GL, R) or the infamous Trollblazer Saab 9-7x, as these models are manufactured stateside. (Somehow, "Alabama Delivery" just doesn't have that je ne sais quoi.)

When abroad, remember that much of the German autobahn is speed-restricted, and that many European police forces issue on-the-spot fines for accelerative exuberance. If you're prone to this sort of behavior, have a large wad of cash safely secured. Also, while the "Green Hell" (Nürburgring) may be on your "Before I Die" list, don't let it be the last item you ever tick.  

You don't want to smash your brand new car AND have to listen to Europeans sniggering about stupid, ugly Americans. That said, most Europeans are gracious hosts, happy to encounter an articulate American. It's not you Monsieur; it's your government that's causing all these problems. Whether or not you agree, you'll have done your part for international relations, saved a bunch of money and had one Hell of a drive.

 Click here for a chart summarizing the various European delivery programs  

You can rigorously apply the tests described by previous installments of this series without encountering a single setback. However when it comes to buying a used car, it pays to assume one simple salient fact: you don’t know the complete truth. At least not yet. When it comes to pursuing the deeper truths about a used car, an experienced mechanic will inevitably become your greatest ally and advocate. For most consumers, finding a knowledgeable mechanic will be the most important step in the used car buying process.

Before we talk about that, I want to be perfectly clear on this point. A used car is guilty until proven innocent. Do not buy one without taking the car for a professional inspection. If the seller doesn’t agree to let you do so, you’re done. Period. No exceptions. Ever.

Now, mechanics tend to divide into three categories: the shade-tree, the Nazi and the diligent professional.

Shade-tree mechanics are hobbyists on limited budgets. Due to the lack of equipment (or experience), they may not be familiar with the unique wear issues and maintenance needs for your vehicle. The shade-tree mechanic will look at the car’s basics, take it for a short test drive and call it good (or “not bad”).

The Nazi will attempt to perform every mechanical test known to wrenchkind, submit the car to a standard of inspection that is rooted in la-la land, and then make you financially fearful of buying anything other than (cough! cough!) one of their vehicles.

Obviously the Nazi is a non-starter. Often times, these party members will work for dealerships (but not always), and are therefore pre-occupied with meeting their service department’s monthly quota of service hours and revenue.

Unless your next car has a prancing horse or bull at the front of it, you’re usually far better off with a diligent mechanic. The diligent mechanic will work through a standard check list, and then take the car for a test drive in a variety of operating conditions.

Diligent mechanics are experienced independent professionals with established roots in your community. To find one, I strongly recommend visiting the Mechan-X files at Cartalk.com. I also can’t over-emphasize the importance of personal recommendations– especially from people who own the same model of car you’re considering buying. Many small to medium-sized repair shops will post testimonials on their “ego wall.” Read them carefully.

Before the inspection takes place, collate the list of the concerns you created during the test drive. When you deliver the car for inspection, go over them with the mechanic one-by-one. Make sure you both have a clear understanding of all your potential concerns. This will provide a base line for the inspection to follow.

Some mechanics inspect used cars for a set fee. Others charge an hourly rate. In both cases, the post-list discussion should conclude with a confirmation of the probable inspection cost. Leave some leeway; you don’t want the mechanic to stop their investigations for the sake of a few bucks. (Leave your contact number for this possibility.)

The best way to build a healthy relationship with any mechanic is to simply try not to be one of “those” customers. Just let them get on with their job. Don’t stare at the mechanic while they’re doing the inspection. In fact, it’s best to leave the premises entirely. And don’t phone your mechanic two hours later and ask for a status report; wait for their call.

Once the inspection is completed, sit down for a one-on-one debrief with the mechanic (even if you have to come back on another day). I always prefer to speak with the actual mechanic involved in the inspection, or at least have them in attendance with the “service advisor."

First, let the mechanic speak without interruption. Some diligent mechanics will go on for quite some time; some will simply say “here’s my report.” Either way, review the information and let him explain every issue and potential issue to you. After they’re finished, don’t be afraid to say “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about” or “Is this a sign of normal wear or abuse?”

Make your own list of trouble spots from this conversation, noting down the potential cost to repair, replace or reinvigorate each item, and whether or not the issue is urgent, eventual or unimportant.

Once you’re finished the play-by-play, ask a few general questions. I always ask “Did the owner do a good job maintaining this vehicle?” and “Did the owner use good parts or cheap parts?” Either of these inquiries usually invites a deeper conversation with the mechanic. 

If the used car has survived the inspection process without revealing any critical issues to your diligent mechanic, it’s time for the final negotiation with its owner.

Schedule the test drive for a time when there’s no rush. If it’s bad weather, reschedule. Take a little notebook, write a quick check list based on this article, and make notes. When you approach the car's owner, be friendly, polite and courteous. Do NOT try to “beat them down” to get a better deal. While you have every right to ask direct questions, you have no more right to insult their car than one of their children.

First, check the tires. Pull the steering wheel all the way to the left (and then right) so you can see the entire tread. Uneven tire wear– marks on the side or deep grooves in the middle– may indicate suspension issues. And nothing screams “lemon” louder than cheap, bald or strangely worn rubber.

Next, open and close all the doors several times, including the trunk and hood. Check for paint on the hinges and moldings. If a door creaks, it’s usually no big deal. If a door has trouble closing, it can signal anything from a broken hinge to frame damage.

On the driver’s side, make sure that the VIN sticker or VIN plate hasn’t been removed.

Have a quick look at the panel gaps, especially the hood and trunk. Unless you’re looking at an old Land Rover, they should all be even. Check for water leakage in the trunk. Damp and/or a mildew smell often indicates problems underneath. 

When you climb aboard, don’t be put off by worn seats or busted radios. Most interior surfaces and parts can be repaired and/or replaced easily and cheaply.

Lower the window and fire up the car– a few times. Do you hear any tapping or pinging sounds, or does it kick over with a smooth ‘vrooom’ and settle into an easy, quiet idle? 

Test all the buttons and switches including the radio stations. If the owner listens to aggressive music, chances are the car’s been thrashed. 

Flip on the A/C. It should kick out cool air within fifteen seconds of ignition. Same goes for heat. (HVAC repairs can run as high as $500 to $1500.) When you’re on the road, test both of them again to make sure the temperature and fan speed are constant.  

Finally, turn the steering wheel all the way to the left and right. The motion should be seamless and silent. If there’s a lot of resistance, or the force required is uneven, the steering system may need anything from power steering fluid (cheap) to a power steering pump assembly (moderate) to a new rack (first born).

Now put the car in gear. Aside from a few models (older Mercedes in particular), a late or rough shift from park indicates that the car’s transmission may soon give up the ghost. If you experience rough or late shifting, you’re done.

Brake force should be quick and constant. Unless the brakes have been recently replaced (ask), you shouldn’t hear any squeaking sounds. 

Drive the car through a variety of traffic conditions, inclines and speeds, for at least a half hour. When going uphill, take your foot off the accelerator for a moment. Coast downhill as well. If the car’s transmission hunts, clunks or has trouble catching, the vehicle probably has a transmission or linkage issue. 

If you hear a lot of ‘clacking’ or other unusual engine noises on initial acceleration, the engine’s components may need attention. If there’s an oil gauge, keep an eye on it. It should show approximately 25 to 80 psi during acceleration, and 10 to 20 when idling. The coolant temperature should hit a fixed point within ten minutes and never move. 

After about twenty minutes of driving, take the car to a gas station. Keep the engine on. Open the hood and the gas cover release to make sure they’re in proper working order. If you know where the transmission dipstick is (and it’s a damn good idea to find out), check the level. Does it have bubbles? If the fluid is brown or black, it could be a sign of future transmission issues.

Turn the vehicle off and check the oil. If it’s not between the marks (too low or too high) or discolored, you’re done.

Finally, get a wet paper towel, wipe the dirt off the relevant reservoirs and check the coolant, power steering and brake fluids to make sure they’re at their proper levels. S-l-o-w-l-y open the reservoir tank and check the coolant's color. If it’s a multi-colored muck or brownish black, note it down.

By this point, you should have a pretty good idea whether your next step is towards purchase or home sweet home. If you’re blowing it off, thank the owner politely and leave promptly, without engaging in any further discussion whatsoever. ("It's not what I had in mind.") If you’re ready to move forward, it’s time to schedule a professional inspection.

[Mr. Lang invites TTAC readers to share their

used car test drive advice below.]

Used cars give automobile buyers the best possible bang for the buck– except when they don’t. As a professional dealer, I could tell you stories of used car calamities that would make public transportation seem like the only sensible option. Tales of stitched together death traps that looked as new as the day both cars were born. Cars with supposedly clean registration papers that turned out to be hotter than Peachtree Street in mid-August. Instead, I’m going to tell you how to buy a used car without getting your proverbial clock cleaned.

Finding an appropriate used car is a pretty simple business: decide what kind of car you want, research it online (especially model and brand-specific enthusiasts’ sites) and then go out and find one.

You can find a great car at a variety of sources: private, owner, independent used car dealer, used car superstores, new car dealer; even a "buy here / pay here" lot might stock a great vehicle or two (credit the law of averages). On a percentage basis, I've found that private owners and independent dealers offer the best bang for the buck. Conversely, your neighborhood impound lot or public auction is a no-no nadir. 

When you make contact with the seller, ask for the car’s VIN (Vehicle Identification Number). That’s the government-mandated ID code welded onto the car’s chassis (and attached elsewhere), and listed on the car’s registration papers. Thank the seller for the info, tell them you’ll call them back, and hit the ‘Net.

Plug the car’s VIN number into Carfax’ or Autocheck’s on-line database. For a nominal fee, these sites will tell you if the car’s been flooded, torched, stolen, crashed, rebuilt, salvaged or had its odometer rolled back. Equally important, it’ll let you know if the car was a rental, a fleet vehicle or had a long series of owners (i.e. sporty models with neglectful owners are financial time bombs).

This due diligence must be done, but the information is far from perfect. Any damage not filed in an accident report won't show up. Arbitration issues can also fall through the cracks. When our own Frank Williams checked an Audi he once owned, the report made no mention of the fact that Audi bought back the car under Lemon Law provisions.

To fill the holes in a used car’s mission critical history, it pays to dig a little deeper.

Contact the service department at the brand-appropriate dealership closest to the car’s original registration (listed in the Carfax or Autocheck report). Give them the car's VIN and ask if the vehicle is subject to any “open recalls:” mechanical issues the manufacture must repair at their cost, no matter what. You'll need to check the seller's records to see if the work's been done. (If not, you could have a bargain; I've bought dozens of "defective" Volvos whose owners were unaware of a throttle body recall.)

Next, ask the service advisor for a maintenance report. By law, dealers can’t print out the information or give the owner’s name. But they CAN verbally report a car’s service history. If you’ve got the wrong dealership, contact the seller and ask where the car was serviced.

This brings us back to your most important source of car-specific information: the seller.

After you’ve secured the VIN and done your homework, call the seller back. There are dozens of excellent questions you can ask, and one you shouldn’t: what’s the price? Avoid negotiating price for the same reason you wouldn’t bid on a house without looking inside. Here’s how I do it:

“I like to catch up on maintenance whenever I buy a car. Can you tell me where the car was serviced, what you’ve done lately and if there’s anything else I’ll need to do in the next year or so?”

“I usually have my cars inspected at ‘x’. If I like the car, would it be OK to have it inspected?”

I always use conditional words and phrases– “Can you… would… do you know…is it possible." It's non-threatening, and the polite approach encourages the owner to provide additional information. 

Thank the seller; you’ll call them back when you’re ready to make a firm offer.

If confidence is still high, it's time to determine an appropriate bid. Forget Edmunds, Kelly Blue Book and NADA. For popular late model used automobiles, eBay’s ‘Completed Items’ section is the only pricing guide that matters. Specifically, check out your prospective purchase’s green “ending price." The number reflects the final purchase price for cars that actually sold in the marketplace.

If there aren’t any recent or enough listings, go to your local bank or credit union. Tell them you’re looking at buying a used car and ask them to print out the relevant bit of the Manheim Market Report (MMR). The MMR lists wholesale and retail used car prices based on millions of recent transactions. Although the MMR is not for public consumption, almost all financial institutions with an auto lending department have access to this information.

Time for a bid? Nope. Time for a test drive.

[Mr. Lang invites readers to share their used car buying advice

and their used car triumphs and tragedies below.] 

I have a conflict-avoidant personality. I never lose my temper and I hardly ever engage in verbal jousting (never mind confrontational conversation). That’s why I wander around new car lots on Sundays. The dealership is closed, locked and silent; I can browse in pleasant solitude. Otherwise, conflict is inevitable. I can count on my fingers the number of times in my life that I got so angry my legs started shaking. Half of those instances occurred in car dealerships and that ain’t right.

Of course, this avoidance strategy runs counter to my pistonhead predilections. During GM’s “Hot Button” OnStar promotion/gimmick, I couldn’t help myself: I pulled in to the local Chevy dealer to try my luck at winning a new car. Even before I put my foot to tarmac, a salesman sucker-fished my face (Aliens style). I almost drove away right then and there. But I didn’t.

When I relayed the purpose of my visit, the salesman didn’t even try to hide his disappointment. In fact, I was a dead customer walking. I’m not sure which was worse— the initial attack or the subsequent invisibility. Either way, I enjoyed the experience almost as much as my last visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles. 

You want to talk about hot buttons? Whenever a car salesman approaches me with that stupid happy grin– as if I’m the first human being he’s seen in seven months of solitary confinement– I feel my normal sang froid melt. Of course he’s smiling. I’m chum in his shark tank.

Of course, like most of you, I consider myself to be a lot higher in the food chain. As an enthusiast, I have an excellent grasp of automotive facts and figures: engine options, competitors, warranties, etc. So why do car salesmen try to Lord it over me, even after I demonstrate superior knowledge? It’s who they are. It’s what they do.

And it’s not for me. People like us, people who devour buff books, surf car sites and share a passion for automobiles simply cannot go to a car dealership for the sheer fun of it. The marketing gurus suggest that visiting a dealer should be as enjoyable as hanging out at Borders. I’d rather spend 45 days in the Black Hole of Calcutta than 20 minutes at a Chevy dealer.

There is name for this pain: ultimate transaction price. Walking into a car dealership, no one knows how much it costs to buy any given vehicle. Not the customer and not the salesman, whose job it is to add as much profit as possible to the deal.

So sales pressure is applied, and then applied again. Surreptitious administrative fees get tacked on in dark corners of contracts— well after customers have supposedly negotiated the “final price.” The entire system creates an environment of distrust, dishonesty, and confrontation. 

Me? I don’t discuss numbers. When salesmen demand “make me an offer,” I don’t reply. They plead with me as if in pain. “Make me an offer. Come on.” I can’t. I don’t. Instead, I reply with fierceness that surprises even me. “If you want to sell this car, YOU give ME a price.” They never do. The deal goes nowhere, and we part ways. And I put another year on my tired old beater.

Last year life thunked me on the head: my wife needed a minivan. This had to be done. Salvation arrived in the form of an auto broker. For a few hundred dollars fee, he did all the backbreaking negotiating with the dealership for a new Toyota Sienna minivan. We paid an astounding $2k less than what I was prepared to pay based on my research. And I do a lot of research. Huh, I mused, even Toyota has wiggle room for dealmakers.

Unfortunately, I still had to go to the dealership to sign the papers. It was an utterly simple process that took three excruciating hours filled with sales pitches for additional service agreements. All this after the end of the so-called negotiation process. I was living a scene from the Sopranos. “I’m in the back office of a dealership, man. I’m not agreeing to anything.” They tried to wear me down. But I held steady. No extras.

Of course, some dealerships do promise a more honest approach. CarMax and Saturn, for example, are known for not submitting their customers to the auto-buying equivalent of root canal surgery. But these user-friendly experiences still come at a cost, financial or otherwise. 

Automakers devote huge marketing dollars to reach reliable bill-paying customers like me. Yet they don’t understand that the car ain’t the issue. The car is fine. The car I understand. The dealership is what I abhor. Fix that sorry, broken, demonic institution and I will replace my cars more often. It’s that simple.

It’s hard to believe global positioning satellite (GPS) technology was once the sole purview of the U.S. military. It’s equally difficult to comprehend how James Bond’s first in-car tracking device thrilled pre-pubescent boys. These days, a luxury car without a satellite navigation system is like a luxury car without dual-zone climate control. Still, it’s a pretty pricey item that’s bound to bite you in ass at trade-in. So should you listen to your oleaginous salesman and tick that option box?

The tech market is a fickle mistress. That way cool RAZR phone that cost $500 and a two-year contract is now as precious as a Pet Rock at a garage sale. Ask any hapless fool that made a high-end high tech purchase a couple of weeks before a product refresh hit the market— they know the pain of instant 60 percent depreciation (worse than buying a new Chevy). 

Product cycles for factory-fitted satellite navigation units aren’t quite that rapid, but they ain’t slow neither. Sat nav units' display screens and memory– the highest cost parts– are getting cheaper and better, fast. At the same time, operating systems have moved from CD to DVD to memory chip, while the user interface has progressed from 2D to semi-3D, heading towards “street view” and God knows what else.

If you think that’s been a quick change, handheld sat nav units are evolving twice as quickly. It takes carmakers time to spec, design, test, manufacture, fit, ship and sell new devices– never mind clearing the whole schmeer with legal. Portable GPS manufacturers have fewer technical hurdles and a MUCH smaller bureaucracy. In fact, products from companies like Garmin, Michelin, Maxtech and TomTom (not to mention phone and PDA-based sat navery) are making brand new in-car systems obsolete before they’re even launched.

Thanks to the Original Equipment Manufacturers'' (OEMs') slow tech turnaround, by the time a customer comes to sell a car equipped with a factory-fitted sat nav system, the clever route guidance gizmo is not worth the silicon it’s printed on. Or, if you prefer, somewhere around $500.

That’s the average used car sat nav premium, and that’s not good. Not when you consider that an average built-in sat nav package costs the new car buyer a whopping $2k+ (not including tax). Of course, that’s the manufacturer’s suggested retail price (MSRP); the invoice cost is about $400 to $500 less.

That's a decent chunk of change for a hard-pressed salesman or car dealer. Working our way back up the food chain, the in-car sat nav system costs automakers at most a sixth of its MSRP, even with all the frills. So it’s no surprise that carmakers, dealers and salesmen are all pushing built-in sat nav systems on the consumer.

Now that portable sat nav units are making a financial mockery of their car-bound cousins, and  even wealthy new car buyers are shunning built-in GPS units as a money-losing proposition, the car cartels are fighting back in the great tradition of “keep screwing the customer as long as you can.” It’s called bundling.

Fancy a Mark Levinson 14-speaker 330-watt Premium Surround Sound Audio System in your Lexus GS430? Excellent choice! But you can’t have it without satellite navigation, and forking out $4230. Want a rear back-up camera and park distance control radar in your BMW X5? That’ll be the $2600 “Technology Package,” with DVD-based, voice-activated, real-time traffic computing satellite navigation.

There’s a flip side as well. If you JUST want sat nav, plenty of automakers force you to purchase a passel of luxury options before you’re allowed to buy it. The Chevrolet Corvette only offers sat nav on the $5k 3LT trim level, which includes a fancier standard sound system, head-up display, memory package, heated seats, power telescoping steering wheel and universal home transmitter [whew].  

While not as reprehensible as safety option bundling bullying, this sort of “take it or leave what you really want” sat knavery will only continue for so long, as the value of factory-fitted systems continues to plummet and customers get stiffed at trade-in time. 

The practice also faces pressure from the declining cost of sat nav systems, which will make them available in a wide range of mass market motors, which will eliminate sat nav’s “premium” patina. Toyota recently announced it will offer “entry-level” sat nav in some of its models, with a lower resolution screen, without voice activation. 

It’s only a matter of time before factory-fitted satellite navigation will eventually go the way of the FM radio and CD player; it’ll be a low-cost standard feature. Manufacturers are already searching for The Next Big Thing: a new “must have” luxury that commands the same premium. Meanwhile, unless you’re a neat freak who doesn’t like anything stuck to the windshield, leave that sat nav option box unchecked and buy a portable unit.

The American Automobile Association recently calculated the average cost of driving a car. News flash: your automobile is devouring your children’s college fund to the tune of 52.2 cents per mile. Multiply that number by 15k miles and decades of driving, and automotive ownership costs make Ivy League tuition seem like a bargain. Thankfully, you can lower your cost of ownership (of the car) with three strategies. Each one will put a nice six figure dent back into your savings account, and a big fat smile on your face whenever you turn the key.

The first strategy is conservation: spending as little money as humanly possible. Automotive conservationists aren’t motivated by performance, comfort or snob appeal. All they want to do is get from Point A to Point B while keeping as much money in their pocket as humanly possible. They want to save in the showroom, at the pump, after service and at trade-in time.

Conservationists are, by their nature, small car aficionados. They’re willfully oblivious to the fact that small cars are an SUV’s accidental toe jam. They happily endure cramped quarters, sloth, low status and any of the other so-called downsides of owning a small, “boring” car. They concentrate on their econobox’s purchase price and operating costs.

Conservationists are big fans of Kia, Hyundai, Suzuki, Subaru and, of course, Honda and Toyota. They’re value junkies who scour the value of used cars before they even think about buying a new one.

To become a conservationist, find someone who drives a small, cheap, boring car who can tell you how much they spend on their car per month AND annually. Internet owners’ forums are an invaluable resource. Just register on a site dedicated to an inexpensive small car (“Cheap bastard” ought to do it) and post a thread asking “How much does it cost to run your X?”

The second strategy is endurance.

When most folks think of a car that last forever, they think of an old Volvo or Mercedes. That’s so last century. These days, most every automobile built can crest 100k miles without much trouble. In fact, 150k is the new 100k: the way point that tells an owner that he or she’s found a machine that can go the distance. Which is, let’s face it, one of your cheapest possible ownership options.

Frugal endurers are closet conservationists. They tend to pay cash up front (they consider monthly payments and interest charges an automotive fashion victim’s sin tax) for two-year-old or older cars.

They’re looking for vehicles blessed with [documented] factory-approved maintenance that have passed the “is it a lemon?” threshold. They look for unloved, low-spec models. Depending on their dedication, they’ll happily forgo such basic comforts as air conditioning and power door locks.

As endurers aren’t looking to trade in their wheels (i.e. they plan to run the vehicle into the ground), they couldn’t care less about their purchase’s short-term residuals. It’s all about keeping the car going, to get to those “cheap miles” at the end of the [hopefully] epic ownership period. And that means fastidious maintenance, extended warranties and celebrating the inevitable wear-and-tear.

To benefit from endurers’ sagacity, buy the most reliable car you can and hold it as long as possibly can. Period.

Mule trading is the third money saving strategy.

Mule traders buy from used car auctions. They buy whatever vehicle [they believe] will hold its value in the retail market. Due to a fickle public and sinister depreciation curves, many mule traders skip the way cool late model stuff and go for ‘sleds;’ vehicles that cost $5k or less. They drive em’, fix em’, sell em’, rinse and repeat.

Of course, not all mules are broken down beasts of burden. There are plenty of hot (though inexpensive) used cars available at auction that will protect the mule trader’s money (e.g. the Mini Cooper, Scion Xb, and Honda Fit). After anywhere between six months to 18 months, the traders simply sell the vehicle to a dealer, who uses them as high profit ‘finance fodder.’

The mule trader takes on the depreciation risk on the assumption that today’s hot new car will be tomorrow’s hot used car. The keen-eyed mule trader gets a higher trade-in value for the car, the dealer receives a larger profit off the financed vehicle.  Everyone wins– save for the poor bastard with the hot car and large monthly payment.

Whether you reduce your overall automotive operating costs by conserving cash, fixing costs (endurer) or taking advantage of automotive fashions (mule trader), there’s always an opportunity to save a chunk of change on your motoring expenses. The challenge: determining which mindset best suits your budget, skills and time. As Patek Phillipe’s ads used to say, choose once but choose wisely.

My father is a car guy in his late fifties, One day, he decided to buy a sports car. Anyone who’s clocked the age of the men in the Viagra ads should realize this isn’t an unusual phenomenon. Men fifty-and-over are the heart and soul of the U.S. sports car market. And the Chevrolet Corvette occupies the bulls-eye center of that prime demographic. The ‘Vette is also one of GM’s few bright spots: the only world-class car in Chevrolet’s showroom of mediocrity. Anyway, my father tried to buy a Corvette– and failed.

My Dad’s shopping list included several German cars, a couple of Japanese roadsters and the C6 Corvette. There was only one problem with his domestic selection: he couldn't get a test drive. A little wheel time in a box-fresh Porsche Cayman? No problem. To Infiniti and beyond? Right this way. A quick cut and thrust in GM's halo car? Forgeddaboutit. Not one of the Chevy dealers in our suburban New York county would give my Dad five minutes of Corvette wheel time– unless he bought the car first.

Dealers had three explanations for this “no test pilots need apply” rule. First, “it’s not our policy to allow people to test drive a sixty thousand dollar car.” Second, “people who buy these cars don’t want any miles on them.” Third; hey, you gotta understand: we get a lot of joy riders.

Obviously, Chevy dealers have been scraping the bottom of the barrel so long they can't distinguish between "time wasters" and serious customers. Or perhaps they simply don't want to distract their highly professional sales force from far more important jobs like flogging Aveos, Cobalts and other marginally profitable machinery.

Or maybe they're just lazy, short-sighted, arrogant, amoral opportunists. Why work hard to sell a car you don't need to, or you ain't got?

How much effort would it take for Chevy dealers to create a proper 'Vetting procedure, so potential customers like my father could get behind the wheel, realize the dream of a lifetime and buy a damn Corvette? My Dad's experience– or lack thereof– highlights Chevy dealers' complete insensitivity to the over-arching importance of long-term customer relationships.

Of course, VIP ropes around hot new models are one thing. Price gouging is the next.

When the Solstice and Sky fell to Earth, Pontiac and Saturn dealers had a field day. “Market adjustments” and “demand pricing” were deployed to gouge both regular customers AND those who hadn't darkened a Pontiac or Saturn dealership in decades. Many dealers slapped a new price sheet next to the official window sticker, adding markups of three to five thousand dollars.

You’d think Pontiac dealers would have learned their lesson when the Aussie-built, suppository-shaped GTO went from hero to zero in less than year. (There are still untitled 2006 and 2005 GTO's sitting on Pontiac dealer lots.) In a sense they did: grab the cash while the grabbing's good, 'cause it'll be back to [no] business as usual in no time.

I don’t mean to pick on GM. Chrysler dealers jacked-up the prices on the first highly-horsed SRT8 variants (Charger, 300C, Magnum, and Grand Cherokee). Ford dealers added extra profit on the new Thunderbird, Mustang GT, Shelby ‘Stang and Ford GT.

And American manufacturers aren’t the only car companies hoarding hay when the sun shines. For almost a full year after production, the Mercedes SL55 AMG couldn't be had less than $60k over sticker. The short-lived BMW Z8 also commanded premiums so high you had to be high to pay them.

And yet there are some important differences between the domestics’ price gouging and that of their Euro-counterparts.

For one thing, Mercedes and BMW already have plenty of footfall for their entry level and mid-market products. For another, they tacked a premium onto premium products. Someone who can afford a $120k Benz can probably swing $160k. Try applying that logic to the Pontiac Solstice. A customer shopping for a $24k car can afford $29k? Maybe, maybe not.

In fact, it's highly likely that a dwindling number of fifty-something Ameribrand die-hards are the only customers willing to pay premiums on sexy low-end domestic models. Do they care that the extra money's destined to disappear at trade-in time? Who knows? Can the domestics afford to risk punishing their most enthusiastic customers? I think not.

From a buyer''s point-of-view, there's only one way to beat a dealer's narrow-minded "you can't touch this" refrain and price gouging. Tell them to piss off, and then send a few tell-all emails to the corporate mothership AND the dealer group HQ. Keep calling until you find a dealer willing to play ball, shop used, buy something else or just wait for reality to return to the marketplace (as it always does).  

As for my old man, he couldn't do it. He simply couldn't drop 60 large on a new sports car without a test drive. And GM wonders why it’s losing market share.

In the late ‘90s, a popular consumer magazine claimed a certain SUV rolled over easily. This study was strongly debated; I doubt anyone remembers who was right. But the damage was done. The vehicle fell out of favor into the one-way pit of corporate neglect. As the dust settled, I purchased a used example of this otherwise reliable, well-built machine at an exceptionally low price. After five virtually trouble-free years, I’ve decided to replace my ‘98 Isuzu Trooper with something newer. And so begins my hunt for undervalued quality.

The contrarian investor buys stocks that are cheap and currently out of favor. He seeks shares whose price has been depressed by bad news or a temporary setback, which otherwise represent sound investments. These principles apply perfectly to the art of buying a used car. For those willing to venture outside of the Honda-Toyota mix of political correctness, amazing values await.

A contrarian buys quality. These days even so-called second-rate automobiles may possess excellent quality. If you can stomach the fact that your car is not quite the class leader (whatever that is) and resist the social pressures to “buy the best” (whatever that is), you can save an enormous amount of money on a used car, and not lose much of it later.

After considerable contemplation, I’ve concluded that the sweet spot for American automotive value is currently $16k. For sixteen Grover Clevelands, you can purchase a wide variety of gently used 2006 models, still under warranty and mechanically fresh. While we’re not talking about budget boxes here, it is true that 16 large won’t buy you a lot of what I call automotive fluff: leather and fancy electronics. Pay less and you’re looking at too much compromise (tinny doors are endlessly annoying).

Sixteen thousand it is. So what’s out there for contrarian car buyers?

Let’s start by eliminating the obvious. Hondas and Toyotas are immediately disqualified. We’re looking for a vehicle that’s suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous depreciation. Toyondas just plain don’t. Again, we also want quality, so Volkswagen drops entirely from our list. Unfair? Possibly, but both J.D. Power’s mob and anecdotal evidence suggest that VW quality’s leaves everything to be desired. And out goes VeeDubs’s familial relation, Audi.

In this pursuit, domestics rule. FoMoCo has plenty to offer the curious contrarian. A quick internet search unearths a fleet of sub-$16k 2006 Ford Fusions, a textbook casualty of the Detroit resale curse. The Fusion score high marks for drivability and reliability, yet sells for the same price as an econobox on the used market. As do the Five Hundred/Freestyle, which should take an even bigger hit when Ford re-renames them the Taurus/Taurus X.

In fact, just about any Ford product holstering the Duratec 3.0-liter engine qualifies as a suitable candidate. Mazdas equipped with ye olde six, the MPV and Mazda6 S wagon (not the sedan or the hatch), are decent, second-tier cars that sell for peanuts on the used car market. Pistonheads note: the Mazda6 S is a particularly attractive (i.e. unloved) stealth wagon.

One can’t talk about cheap— I mean, undervalued cars– without taking a good hard look at Chrysler cast-offs. Amateur CSI’s will find plenty of dried contrarian drool on used Town and Country minivans  with three to ten thousands miles, selling for the magic one six.

The Magnum, Dodge’s chop top load lugger, rocks; or, I should say, sinks like a rock. With a little digging, you can find a well-loved 2006 Magnum SXT that listed for $26K selling for $16K.

Chrysler’s proto-CUV, the Pacifica, can also slip into our price range. And while the anti-green hedonist inside me craves a stripped 2006 Grand Cherokee or Commander, they fall just north of our self-imposed budget. Damn.

For the ultimate target-rich environment, type Saturn in the Search box. You can buy a used Ion for about the same price as a good washer and dryer set. I am especially impressed with the Ion Red Line— an imperfect sports car for sure, but redeemable at the right price.

And for the really daring contrarian, take a look at the crop of domestic minivans on their final death march. The Ford Freestar and Chevy Uplander may be hideous, but the discrepancy between msrp and what’s it gonna cost me is staggering.

The old adage says that a fool and his money are soon parted. If only it were that simple. A proud Camcord buyer easily pays $21k or more for a brand new model, replacing it every few years.

But the contrarian, with the clarity of an economist, pays $16k for a gently used Fusion or the like with a similar feature set. And then banks a $5,000 buffer to cover any (real or perceived) differences in reliability. Just who is the fool now?

Sometime between the sale of the first Model T and now, the automobile business has come to represent all that is wrong with sales, marketing and advertising. According to the surveys that track respect for professions, automobile salesmen are bottom feeders, swimming just above the mud with politicians and marketing folk. Do new and used-car dealers deserve such scorn? Absolutely. The truth about car dealers lies far closer to the stereotype than what they’d like you to believe.

I used to produce TV commercials for a chain of Texas dealerships. On my first shoot, I noticed a quarter on the asphalt. Naturally, I bent down to pick it up. “What are you doing?” the cameraman whispered. The sales reps had “seeded” the lot with pocket change to stop customers from literally running away from an approaching car salesman. 

Virtually every TV ad I made highlighted misleading or downright deceptive “offers.” How about a new Ford F-150 for $10 a day? While $300 a month IS ten bucks a day, dealers use this psychological ploy to lure low-income customers who would balk at a higher (though empirically equal) number. It gets worse from there. How about a special offer?

Fancy a Dodge Caravan SXT minivan for $19 a month? Bob Saks Dodge of Farmington Hills is happy to oblige – as long you put $1999 down and lease a 2007 Dodge Ram 1500 SLT Quad Cab for $179 a month. And work for Chrysler. With A Tier credit. And already lease a Chrysler, Dodge or Jeep vehicle. And pay all taxes, destination and “acquisition fees” and other “routine charges” on both vehicles. And don’t drive either vehicle more than 10,500 miles a year.

Then there are mega-clearance sales. The dealer has trucked in (at great expense!) a lot-load of used cars (starting at only $99!). “No offer will be refused!” “Every application will be accepted!” “Agents are on-site to accept your financing!”

To avoid arrest, the dealer only has to have ONE vehicle for $99 on his lot on the first day of the sale. Obviously, this loss leader will be gone before you get there –  if it even existed and you'd even want it.

Customers falling (and falling and falling) into the bad credit category get loan shark rates and/or an extremely limited selection of beaters to buy. True: the dealer doesn’t refuse any offer. They just never promise to accept any offer. And so it goes: amazing deals married to astounding fine print.

And speaking of credit scores, do you know what yours is? If a salesman reappears from the Finance Guy’s lair and tells you your credit score leaves something to be desired, if he’s inadvertently downgraded your credit, your payments will go up, right along with the dealer’s profits. Strange that.

Those zero percent finance offers sound great, but you're often better off with a higher rate. If you factor in the rebates on offers— which are not available to zero percenters— it’s usually true. Bottom line: If you’re paying $199 a month on a $35k car, there's a reason. Eventually, inevitably, somehow, you’re going to have to pay off the principal.

To hide this fact, dealers play Three Card Monte with the three major transactions involved with buying a car: selling your old car to the dealer, buying the new car and financing your purchase.

As seen on “The King of Cars” reality series (and dealerships throughout America), the salesman divides a piece of paper into four squares: trade value ($3k for your trade-in guaranteed!), price, down payment and monthly payment. He fills out the boxes with some insulting numbers and then encourages you to focus on the monthly payment – forgetting the fact that he’s stiffed you on your trade-in and listed the highest possible “price.” 

If you insist on a higher trade-in value, he’ll bump up the price, down payment or monthly payment. If you say the starting price is too high (i.e. wrong), no problem! The monthly payment goes up. Up, down, move it around. Numbers are “dragged” from one box to the other. The deal doesn’t get much better, but it's made to look more acceptable.

At some point, the Sales Manager strolls in and says he can do the deal for $10 or $20 or $30 more than the monthly payment on the “four square.” Bingo! The dealer just added another $1k – $3k (over five years) profit to the “deal.”

The battle lines are drawn. The dealers have created an adversarial relationship with customers. They’ve armed themselves with every dirty trick in the book and they have experience, time, and greed on their side. You are but a lamb to the slaughter; an “up” that becomes a grease pencil mark on a tote board, and with any luck, another checkmark on their way to “Salesman of the Month.” Caveat emptor, pal.