As the Porsche brand has expanded in recent years to include sedans and SUVs, and as overpriced special editions and cynically neutered products propped up an increasingly bloated pricing structure, Porsche fans have had plenty of opportunities to wonder “what are those guys smoking?”  And now, thanks to Autoblog, we have part of the answer answer: we may not know exactly what Porsche is smoking, but we know what they’re smoking it out of. According to Porsche Design’s presser

The extraordinary Porsche Design Shisha combines high-quality materials such as aluminium, stainless steel and glass with the timeless and unique design approach of the luxury brand. Puristic and stylish at the same time. The Porsche Design Shisha is made in Germany and stands at a height of 55 centimetres. It only shows a discreet branding on the aluminium top of the Shisha and comes with a long flexible tube made out of TecFlex material, which is also used for the classic Porsche Design TecFlex writing tools.

So… when is Chrysler going to get in on this cross-branding opportunity?

Hey, it’s a station wagon… and it’s built by Audi. Also, you may not be able to tell from this angle, but it’s new. Really. What, you couldn’t tell?

What are we looking at here? Well, it’s a Camry, that much is obvious. In the window is a sign for “Educators Against 5.”

What’s “5”? It’s a bill, recently passed in Ohio, which prohibits collective bargaining by public employee unions on issues such as health insurance, sick leave and pension benefits. Needless to say, it is massively unpopular among unionized public-sector workers in said state, many of whom view it as the first step towards “union-busting”.

The actual merits of the law are probably best discussed elsewhere. However, this is the third car I’ve seen in two days carrying the “No 5” sign… and all three have had a little credibility problem.

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Based on spyshots and patent drawings obtained from Al Volante, Auto Motor und Sport was able to commission what is probably an accurate depiction of the next-gen Fiat Panda from Schulte Design, giving us an early look at a small car that will provide the basis for Chrysler’s long-awaited foray into subcompact cars. Chrysler’s product plan [PDF] calls for 2013 model year subcompact (B-Segment) vehicles for the Dodge, Jeep and Chrysler brands, based on Fiat platforms. The Chrysler-branded model was supposed to be a rebadge of the Lancia Ypsilon (itself very similar to the Fiat 500), but that model is reportedly on hold. The Dodge and Jeep B-Segment offerings are still on though, and the Jeep has long been thought to be a lightly-facelifted version of the Panda 4X4, meaning this model could be an early look at the smallest-ever Jeep.

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South Africa’s Paramount Group’s latest offering, aimed at what Auto Motor und Sport describes as “safety-conscious drivers,” steals a name that Panther-lovahs may recognize, but that’s where the comparison ends. Would the gentleman like 4X4 or 6X6? 300 HP diesel, top speed over 70 MPH, and a 400+ mile range? That’ll show the insurgents neighbors. In all seriousness, AM und S have a ton of pretty staggering photos, but the whole thing is a tiny bit creepy. Cool pics of big trucks are supposed to be fun, lighthearted weekend fare, but for some reason I find myself cringing a little at the thought of vehicles like this being used in places like Syria, Bahrain and hellholes globalized. But then, how did they put it in Popular Warlord Magazine? Oh yes: “the truck doesn’t make the hellhole, the hellhole makes the truck.” Words to live by right there.

According to an infographic in the WSJ, based on research undertaken by Hyundai-Kia, the US doesn’t just buy a huge number of vehicles… we buy our cars a greater diversity of colors than any other market in the world. Sure, silver, grey, black and white still make up just over 60% of our new cars, but amazingly that’s one of the lowest percentages among large markets. By comparison, those four colors represent a whopping 885 of all new cars sold in South Korea. China and Japan buy 79% and 78& of their cars in those four colors respectively, but China is the only nation represented with a significant proportion of yellow cars sold, at 3%. Why? I’d guess it has something to do with the fact that yellow was once forbidden from buildings and garments, reserved for the Imperial family by sumptuary law (although it could be a more recent craze for “Bumblebee” edition Camaros). Meanwhile, India and US have the highest rates of (literally) green cars, at four percent, Europe has the blues, with 18% ordered in that color, and red-blooded Americans still buy the most red cars at 12%.  And with a full 9% of new cars purchased in a color not represented here, the US has the most offbeat car colors as well… a distinction that seems fitting to our individualistic, car-worshipping culture.

I don’t know about you, but I’m finding the “analog clock=luxury” thing a bit played out. One upon a time, the old-school interior clock was everywhere… and folks called it a modern convenience. Then it became a genteel, slightly throwback Maserati hallmark. Then it became a symbol of Infiniti’s admiration for Maseratis, and its desire to stand apart in the luxury market. Then Chryslers started adding clocks as it moved, unconvincingly, to position itself upmarket. Now? Now the interior chronograph just seem to be a symbol of trying to hard to appear luxurious without really offering anything unique, distinctive, or innovative. Which is why I’m a bit concerned that an early shot of the new Lexus GS, a car that has years of underachievement in a crucial segment to make up for, seems to show that Lexus has succumbed to the siren call of the dashboard clock.

To the best of my knowledge, Lexus has never indulged in an analog dash clock before (at least in the US market), as its interiors have always been modern and purposeful, emphasizing function over frippery. This isn’t a question of “ruining” the car itself… few customers are likely to put as much emphasis on an analog clock as I do. But in this small step I do see signs of a brand drifting away from its pioneering roots and towards the directionless malaise that inevitably leads to fad-chasing, and style over substance. Even if Lexus does need to reinvigorate its aesthetic DNA, ripping of the cheesiest “Luxury: I Has It” signifier in the interior design playbook ain’t a promising start. Don’t clock up a good thing, Lexus!

I hoped that BMW’s GT concept would be a one-and-done type of experiment, like the X6 or the Two-Mode hybrid drivetrain, selling as badly as it is. No such luck. Auto Motor und Sport has caught a forthcoming 3 Series GT prototype wallowing and leaning its way around a test track in Germany. That’s right, what you’re looking at right there is a 3 series… a nameplate that’s synonymous with sharp handling and a nailed-down ride. And just look at it, leaning on its tip-toes like a dune buggy that’s been developed by a French suspension engineer. Unless of course this isn’t a 3er GT at all, but the planned X4 “SAV”… but then, how is anyone supposed to even tell the difference between the two? One’s a softer, slightly larger, slightly jacked-up fastback 3 series, while the other is… essentially the same thing? Talk about losing the plot…

The A5 is a crucial element of Audi’s fashion-nugget appeal, and these things have to move with the times lest the times move them. Post-update, the A5 now looks far more like its smallest (and to be fair, its newest) sibling, the A1… at least around the all-important headlights. The big news under the skin is that the old V8 has left the building, as the S5 will now be powered by the S4’s supercharged 3 liter V6. There’s also a new electro-mechanical steering system, active brake leveling, a new middle diff on AWD models and a newly-available rear “sport differential.” It’s not yet clear how many of these upgrades and options the US market will be offered (here’s one hint: we won’t get the slick four-door “Sportback” version you see in the gallery), but really, with a car like this don’t the pictures say everything? I’m not saying the A5 is a car people buy solely for its looks, but… oh, who am I kidding?

When a brand like Aston-Martin releases a new car, it’s de rigeur to assemble some cameras and hand out a freebie to a legend of the motoring world. But when a brand like Aston-Martin creates a deeply controversial car like the Toyota iQ-based Cygnet, the luminaries of road and track are hardly going to be lining up  for the thing. Luckily if you ask nicely enough, they might be convinced, as apparently Sir Stirling Moss was, to re-gift the thing to the wife. That way he doesn’t have to endure the embarrassment of driving the thing, but Aston still gets to hype the fact that the Sir Stirling said

Since seeing a pre-production Cygnet in January I knew that it was the perfect car for Susie; a proper little piece of British luxury and perfect for our life in town.

Unfortunately, as Pistonheads points out, the Cygnet isn’t even exempt from London’s congestion charge… which is typically an important criteria for a car to be “perfect” for life in London town. Oh, and it’s about as British as yakisoba. But hey, Sir Stirling “bought” one for his wife so…. um… yeah.

With a new generation of BMW 3-Series on the way, you expect to see plenty of photos of it testing on the Nürburgring’s Nordschleife. What you don’t expect to see: photos of it being towed through the “Green Hell.” According to Auto Motor und Sport, this prototype’s breakdown on the ‘ring is “unusual at this stage of development,” but the German publication notes that the defect that caused it is unknown. They simply write that, in the midst of a test drive, the next-gen Dreier “ran out of breath.”  Hopefully the boys at BMW will be able to suss out the problem before the new Dreier launches in Europe next year… nobody likes to see a car like the 3-Series making its way through the Nürburgring on a trailer.

The transition from exclusively gasoline-powered vehicles to the new panoply of permutations of gas and electric power has not been easy on the old emm-pee-gee. The imperfect-yet-universal (in the US market) measure of efficiency finds itself at a loss to compare an electric car’s efficiency with that of a gas-powered car, and completely falls apart as a relative measure of efficiency between plug-in-hybrids which use gas and electricity in different ways (see the ongoing battles over the Chevy Volt’s efficiency). Into the breach have stepped several challengers to the emm-pee-gee’s supremacy, including the weak MPGe (which was responsible for the Volt’s disastrous “230 MPG” introduction), and the “Kilowatt-hours per 100 miles” measure championed by Motor Trend in a rare display of admirable pointy-headedness. But the Gordian contradiction of efficiency measures is that they must be both accurate and easy-to-understand… and if the MPG’s history tells us anything, it should probably err on the side of the latter prerogative.

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OK, so Toyoda-san didn’t so much introduce the new Camry as introduce its headlight. The good news is that the headlight looks like progress. The bad news is that most Americans were probably a bit distracted by the video’s spare production values and Mr Toyoda’s somewhat awkward demeanor (to protect you from your own hypocrisy, commentary on Toyoda-san’s accent will be moderated… unless you can post it in Japanese). Net-net though, Toyota can’t help but come across as an earnestly nerdy lot (led, as they are, by the king of the auto otaku), which fits their brand image well. And for all the talk about styling being the prime mover for consumers, and the necessity of emotion in design, if this new Camry is simply a fresher take on its earnestly nerdy predecessor, Toyota will have accomplished its mission. I’m beginning to wonder if Detroit’s intense dislike of Toyota isn’t simply because it’s the biggest Japanese competitor, but because Toyota’s leadership culture is the unassuming, unglamorous opposite of Detroit’s flamboyant tradition.

For a while now we’ve figured that the long-rumored Buick “Baby Enclave” would be a rebadged version of Opel’s Meriva MPV, as the suicide-doored Euro-confection is currently GM’s newest Gamma-platform people-carrier. But according to GMInsideNews’s 2013 lineup forecast, the Buick “Encore” will actually be a

Gamma based crossover will be a five-seater, about the size of the Nissan Rogue.

Because the Meriva is considerably smaller than the Rogue, and because it is rumored to have distinctly Enclave-like styling, we’re starting to rule out the Meriva as the next Buick CUV. Instead, we now think that this forthcoming Opel Corsa-based (Gamma II platform) “SUV” will be the basis for the Encore, as it’s larger than the Meriva and offers the higher seating that American drivers crave. But, based on this video of the new CUV testing in Germany, the new Buick should still be fairly playful for a front-drive crossover. These are not perfect drifts by any stretch, but I challenge any of you to do better in a front-drive Buick…

Our sharp-eyed, GM-obsessed buddies over at GMInsidenews.com captured this image from a video that appears to have disappeared from the GM.com website, and they’re pretty sure it shows a skin-off look at the forthcoming Cadillac ATS. Based on the troubled (think: 4,000 lbs)Alpha platform that will also underpin the next-gen CTS and Camaro, the ATS is likely to launch with four-cylinder engines in naturally-aspirated and turbocharged forms, with a possible twin-turbo V6 rumored for the “V” version. Unless, of course, GM has made the questionable decision to engineer the platform to take a small-block V8 (which actually would not be much harder to package than a twin-turbo V6). Meanwhile, the big news recently on the ATS front has been GM CEO Dan Akerson’s opinion that the ATS and XTS

are not going to blow the doors off, but they will be very competitive.

We can’t see any front or rear subframes, so rumors of a complex and “sub-optimal” multilink front suspension must remain rumors for now. Otherwise, the body seems to have some strong potential looks-wise. Let’s just hope the entire package is able to deliver something better than what the rumors are suggesting, otherwise GM will have squandered yet another opportunity to crack the lucrative 3-Series market.