And there I was, thinking Canadians represented the sensible third of the North American continent. And then they go and blow it all by saying something stupid like “You’re nicked, mate!” Do Canadians say that? Do they call their cops “the plod?” Anyway, The Globe and Mail reports “an Ontario Provincial Police officer noticed the driver of a tractor trailer [not shown] was smoking a cigarette as he pulled up alongside the vehicle on Highway 401 outside Windsor . . . The policeman charged the 48-year-old trucker, who is from London, under the Smoke-Free Ontario Act, which prohibits smoking in enclosed workplaces and public places.” As we like to say here in The Land of the Free, that’s some fucked-up shit. No, really. “Constable Shawna Coulter, a spokeswoman for Essex County OPP, said it is the job of police to enforce the law, no matter how unpopular. She also noted that smoking while driving is unsafe.” The trucking company’s defense is even less credible—and more convoluted.

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CBC News reports that Canada’s federal Justice Minister Rob Nicholson brought some glad tidings to a recent meeting of Mothers Against Drunk Driving. According to Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) chief executive Andrew Murie, Nicholson promised to consider legalizing random breath tests for Canadian motorists. Surprisingly (at least to me), this is not news. “In June, a House of Commons parliamentary committee recommended changing the legislation to allow for random testing, arguing it is an effective deterrent. The change would also bring Canada in line with a number of other countries in Europe and countries like Australia, which have adopted similar measures.” Hey, if you’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve got nothing to fear right? I mean, if a police state saves ONE CHILD, it’s worth it. And MADD reckons it could save HUNDREDS of poor innocent children from the murderous hands of drunk drivers. “Murie said [random breath tests] biggest selling point is that it improves road safety, with drunk driving fatalities dropping 36 per cent in Australia after legislation was introduced, and 23 per cent in Ireland when it made the change.”

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As pro-bike protesters take to the streets of Toronto to protest the death of cycle courier Darcy Sheppard, a report from the CBC [sorry, no embed] reveals that Sheppard may have been intoxicated when he became involved in his fateful encounter. Cyclists’ anger towards former Ontario AG Michael Bryant could seem a bit misplaced if it turns out Sheppard was drunk and attempted to grab the wheel of Bryant’s car or put Bryant into a headlock. Ontario police say they are investigating both of these possible scenarios. On the other hand, Bryant has a well-established record of media manipulation dating back to his attempt to place harsh rules on street racers. Both sides are itching to be outraged at this story, but it might be best to get a few of the facts straight first.

[Thanks to James Frederico for the links.]

Fox News reports that GM has confirmed Roger Penske’s decision to pull Saturn from the Canadian market. Saturn’s 46 remaining Canadian dealers sold 18,726 vehicles last year. According to GM, “a business case could not be made” to keep Saturn operating in Canada. Sorry Canucks, but there will be no Renault/Samsung loving for you.

America and Canada have spent tens of billions in taxpayer money “saving” Chrysler and GM. During this Year of Living Parasitically, Toyota hasn’t said boo to a proverbial goose. This despite the fact that a non-governmental ChryCo Old GM Chapter 11/7 would have eliminated most of the North American market’s production over-capacity, setting the stage for a more rapid recovery. Politics, doncha know. Anyway, yesterday, sitting in a Volt prototype at a Toronto GM Chevrolet dealership, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty made an announcement. After July 10, 2010, customers plunking for plug-in hybrid and battery electric vehicles would be eligible for a $10,000 rebate. The car most likely to be so blessed: the Chevy Volt. But that’s not what really got Toyota’s goat. As the Leader-Post reports, “Mr. McGuinty said he wants one out of every 20 vehicles in Ontario to be electrically powered by 2020.”

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Automotive Traveler cites confidential sources inside GM as saying that GM’s Caprice (neé Pontiac G8) will be built in Oshawa, Canada. According to AT’s sources, the Impala’s age is hurting it in police fleet sales. The Caprice would presumably fix that and potentially squeeze a few more sales out of the Zeta platform. But it also flies in the face of recent revelations that Fritz Henderson is “not a fan of rebadging” (in regard to the G8, no less), and that the Impala is moving to the Epsilon II platform. Are we seeing the beginnings of a Lutz-Henderson rift?

Commentator dinu01 sent us some Canadian sales data (data day at TTAC) courtesy TheStar.com. “Booming Hyundai Auto Canada, which bucked the market trend this year, broke into the top five for the first time in June as sales surged 25.5 per cent to 10,104. Its sales have shot up 21.4 per cent to 52,454 in the first six months despite the industry’s sharp downturn.” The Korean automaker’s fortunes have soared even as GM and Chrysler Canadian sales have tanked. Hmmm. I wonder what that’s all about . . .

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CTV.ca reports that GM emailed 245 of its 700 Canadian dealerships notifying them that they’re the biggest losers. According to CNNMoney, this time ’round, GM isn’t basing its dealer downsizing on simple volume. “The auto maker said that, due to the ‘unique aspects’ of the Canadian dealer network, its rationalization efforts will focus on key urban markets. ‘The end result in Canada will be a more competitive dealer network with higher volumes, while continuing to maintain the strongest and broadest dealer network in the country better equipped to serve GM customers.'” In theory. In practice, this is only the General’s opening salvo. The friendly fire is sure to get worse when GM files for C11 at the end of the month.

Pop quiz: how many XL7s has Suzuki built at its CAMI plant this year? Answer: four. Seriously. Compare that with the 5,687 built in Q1 2008, and it’s pretty clear that there’s something rotten in the province of Ontario. Especially when you consider that GM is still using its CAMI capacity to pump out 2009-model Chevy Equinox and Pontiac Torrent CUVs. According to the Financial Post, Suzuki will not be be building any more vehicles in North America in 2009. Which means ’09-built XL7s are set to become one of the rarest vehicles in the world. But the firm is committed to its CAMI plant, with CEO Osamu Suzuki telling the FP that “the possibility that CAMI would be forced into closure or a production stop is 120% impossible. It is a central pillar in the reconstruction plan, so I am not worried about it.” Which means CAMI should survive any GM bankruptcy. Suzuki may be sitting out the NA market in 2009 (while nursing its Indian market profits) but when it brings its CAMI capacity back online, it will likely be in support of its ambitious Kizashi mid-sized effort. Too bad, then, that the fanboys are already calling BS on Suzuki’s pledge to bring the Concept 3’s bold styling to the streets with the Kizashi.

Here’s a story that proves that incompetence and general apathy isn’t limited to the DMV where Patty & Selma Bouvier earn their living. Starting now, Quebec motorists can offer up $51.97 above the current cost of a driver’s license to obtain what the provincial government is calling “Smart” driver’s licenses. These licenses will come equipped with an RFID chip that can be scanned remotely by US border guards to identify approaching drivers. Introduced by Quebec’s version of a DMV, the SAAQ, these chipped IDs are meant to allow Quebecers to comply with new Department of Homeland Security regulations that require government-issued identification when entering the US by land. Here’s the problem: The (highly personal) information emitted by the RFID can also be read by anyone else who, with $250 and a working knowledge of eBay, can obtain the necessary equipment. To make matters worse, no encryption or security measures were implemented on these “Smart” licenses. Needless to say, it’s an identity thief’s wet dream.

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The Globe and Mail reports that the Canadian government is negotiating (with whom?) to provide $6 billion in post-bankruptcy financing to Chrysler and GM. It gets worse/better. The six bil represents a fixed percentage of a larger post-bankruptcy fund, currently under construction over at the US Treasury. That would be 15 percent. Which puts the size of the US fund at $40 billion. A pittance, apparently. “The companies had initially proposed that governments lend or guarantee a staggering $125 billion in bridge or long-term loans, but the number was whittled down over months of difficult negotiations led largely by Treasury officials in Washington. In recent weeks, sources said, talks shifted to a plan for the governments to provide financing and guarantees for debtor-in-possession, or DIP, loans. These are used for day-to-day operations while companies restructure their debt under the protection of court supervision.”

Mega dittos from our neighbors to the north. The Globe and Mail reports that the Canadian government is also playing hard man re: GM and Chrysler’s call on federal bailout bucks. Yada, yada, yada, restructure, union concessions, new plans, bankruptcy. And then, this:

Chrysler was unable to meet its Canadian payroll today without a $250-million advance on a $1-billion bridge loan from Canadian taxpayers. To qualify for up to $4-billion in long-term aid, Chrysler has to conclude now-stalled negotiations with the CAW on a cost-savings contract and complete the Fiat deal.

To stave off an immediate crisis, the federal and Ontario governments offered the bridge loans—including up to $3-billion for GM—to allow them to continue operating while they work to satisfy U.S. and Canadian government demands.

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As a condition of its government-funded restructuring, GM was supposed to wrangle concessions from its unions and bondholders. So far, the General has struck out with the major bondholder committee and the UAW, and has only had its agreement with the Canadian Auto Workers to crow about. But now that agreement appears to be in peril, as Reuters reports that Chrysler and Ford are rejecting the terms of the GM CAW restructuring. “The current agreement with GM is unacceptable and we have to break the pattern,” Chrysler’s Robert Nardelli told Canada’s House of Commons. “We believe the recently negotiated agreement between General Motors Canada and the Canadian Auto Workers will not keep Ford’s Canadian operations competitive in today’s global economy,” concurs Ford Manufacturing Maven Joe Hinrichs. While GM claims that its CAW deal brings labor costs in Canada in line with US transplants, Nardelli claims “the union agreement with GM, if applied to Chrysler, would not eliminate even half the labor cost gap Chrysler Canada has with its Asian competitors in Canada.”

Followers of the Motown meltdown may have detected a strong whiff of mafioso about the whole enterprise. Did I say enterprise? That sounds a bit too industrious, even though the automakers have been working hard to turn $7 million worth of your hard-earned taxes into about $35 billion in additional bailout bucks. On the other hand, we have the term “criminal enterprise.” As in you pay me my money or I’m gonna hurt you. If you still don’t pay, I’m gonna NSFWing kill you. (Organized crime may be organized but it’s not terribly clever.) To wit [via Automotive News]:

Chrysler LLC said today it may close its plants in Canada unless it gets sufficient labor concessions as well as government aid and resolution of a tax dispute.

In case you were thinking the recent CAW agreement with GM shows the way out of that particular part of ChyrCo’s Mexican standoff (also a NAFTA member!),  Co-Prez “Tommy Gun” LaSorda’s got news for you, after the jump.

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Ford gets props from anti-bailout folks for being the only Detroit automaker to not seek TARP bailout loans. But as several stories today indicate, Detroit’s putative last man standing is still seeking government sugar, if only in less direct ways than its hapless competitors. Automotive News [sub] reports that Ford is requesting the German government to extend its cash-for-clunker rebate, threatening temporary plant shutdowns if the handout sunsets at the pre-arranged 600K unit mark. “The bonus is smart, simple, and it works,” says Ford sales poobah Ingvar Sviggum. “Here is my appeal to the German government: The bonus is good for the auto industry, the country and for the consumer. So please stay with it. If the scrapping premium is not extended, there will be a dramatic decline in demand in the second half of the year as a result.” Just over 200K of the rebates have been claimed, leaving about 400K still to be claimed in the measure’s original run. But, y’ know, extend it anyway. Or else.

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