Let’s say you've mentally prepared yourself to pay full whack– $42,185– for the new Dodge Charger Super Bee. In other words, you're looking to "invest" an additional $2760 (over the normal SRT/8) version to get some gaudy matte paint, suede seat inserts and “Super Bee” badges. In that case, you’d better hope you don’t live in Oklahoma. Closely examining the window sticker on said Bee, I noticed the presence of an additional half sheet of paper next to the window sticker, crudely copied from a handwritten note used on who knows how many other cars. This “limited availability charge" (a.k.a. “screw you sticker”) detailed a $10,500 hike in the Bee's MSRP. So, want to drive it? Not a chance. My salesman explains that the Bee's a “very expensive car” A sizable deposit (10 percent or more) would be required to take it off the lot. To Bee or not to Bee? Not. Unless you're looking for a garage queen for life, anyone who pays full whack for a new Chrysler– any new Chrysler– is staring down the barrel of epic depreciation. Will "collectible" gas guzzlers escape this curse? We'll tell you in twenty years. Meanwhile, you might want to consider the fact that base and SXT Chargers get $1,500 rebate or low APR financing. RT models get $2,500 rebate or low APR. Both models qualify for gas plan, as well. (Story Courtesy of Capt Justin Crenshaw)

I've long argued that the UK's anti-speeding jihad has seriously degraded the relationship between the average British motorist and the police. Despite the public's underlying laissez-faire attitude towards invasive policing– if you're not doing anything wrong you have nothing to worry about– it stops being "fair" when it starts being you. By now, millions of otherwise law-abiding motorists have been trained to see the police as "the enemy." By the same token, the us vs. them gestalt has alienated the police from their so-called employers. The Times reports that the Metropolitan [London] police have been emboldened to the point where they don't even feel compelled to pretend to give a shit about road safety. How else could you explain a Facebook site created by the police where they boast about accidents and, get this, collisions with pedestrians? Needless to say, the Powers That Be have pulled the "Look I’ve Had a Pocol" (slang for police collision) page, and warned 14 officers to cut that out. But not before we learned that "One picture… showed a police vehicle in an accident with a small white car. The officer who posted it wrote: 'I did him a favour. At 82 years old you just shouldn’t be on the road and if you are, then most certainly don’t go through a green light into the path of an innocent police car.' Another member wrote: 'Ran over a drunk. I believe he has a permanent limp and a hefty payout. I was given a three-month holiday from job driving. Ooh, bummer.'" 

Sources tell TTAC that the glut of SUVs and trucks is so bad that the banks are not calling in the repo men. I repeat: banks are cutting maximum slack to people who are behind in their loan payments– to the point where some are driving around in their vehicles without making any payments. In a bizarre way, this makes perfect sense. Repo services cost money. Re-conditioning costs money. Storing the vehicles costs money. Equally important, the banks/credit agencies don't take the full hit to their bottom line until they sell the vehicle. Needless to say, the market is so stuffed with both brand spanking new and slightly used (i.e. excellent condition) product that we're talking about a MASSIVE hit. What's more, our man in the auction biz tells us that many dealers are holding their light trucks until the end of the month– and then selling them without reserve. You can imagine what that's doing to residuals. If not, check this from Tom Folliard, president and chief executive officer of CarMax: "During the quarter, wholesale industry prices for SUV's and trucks declined nearly 25%, which is approximately four times the normal depreciation expected over this period and well in excess of the depreciation expected over a full year. This is the most rapid depreciation of any vehicle segment that we have experienced in our 15 years."

A grand jury investigating a "charity" run by Revered Al Sharpton– the National Action Network (NAN)– has uncovered an extortion racket that set its sights on the U.S. auto industry. "A General Motors spokesman told The [New York] Post that NAN had repeatedly – and unsuccessfully – asked for contributions for six years, beginning in August 2000. Then, in December 2006, Sharpton threatened to call a boycott of the carmaker over the closing of an African-American-owned GM dealership in The Bronx, and he picketed outside GM headquarters on Fifth Avenue. Last year, General Motors gave NAN a $5,000 donation. It gave $5,000 more this year, a spokesman said, calling NAN a 'worthy' organization." The General wasn't the only automaker wetting Big Al's beak. "In November 2003, Sharpton picketed DaimlerChrysler's Chicago car show and threatened a boycott over alleged racial bias in car loans. 'This is institutional racism,' he bellowed. In May 2004, Chrysler began supporting NAN's conferences, which include panels on corporate responsibility and civil rights and a black-tie awards dinner to honor Martin Luther King Jr. Last year, Sharpton gave Chrysler an award for corporate excellence." Honda? "In 2003, Sharpton targeted American Honda for not hiring enough African-Americans in management. 'We support those that support us,' wrote Sharpton… Two months after American Honda execs met with Sharpton, the carmaker began to sponsor NAN's events – and continues to pay "a modest amount" each year, a spokesman said."

One of my stated goals in life is to never spend a minute in a courtroom. However, if I had a child at El Camino High School in Oceanside, CA, I would be suing the teacher's lounge out of the district and the donut holes out of the CHP. On a Monday morning last month, 20 classrooms received visits from uniformed California Highway Patrol officers who informed them that 26 of their classmates had been killed in drunk driving accidents over the weekend. As was to be expected, many of the students became hysterical. But here's the catch — it was a joke. Ha ha, fooled you! The plan was to keep the hoax up all day and announce the deception at a lunchtime rally. The best laid plans of mice and men… Turns out the students were so traumatized by the hoodwink, many teachers began telling them the truth. Though, not all. Especially students who weren't in the one of the twenty classrooms "participating" in the "lesson" — these students heard about their fellow classmates' deaths in the hallway between classes and had all day to ruminate on them. One 15-year-old, who I am sure speaks for both the school district and the cops, puts it this way, "You feel betrayed by your teachers and administrators, these people you trust. But then I felt selfish for feeling that way, because, I mean, if it saves one life, it's worth it." Oh yeah, totally worth it.

When fans of bio-diesel first claimed they were running their [former] oil burners on "free" fuel– restaurants' abandoned cooking oil and grease– we predicted the fat bubble would burst. And so it has. The New York Times reports that "yellow grease" has risen from 7.6 cents per pound (2000) to 33 cents a pound, or almost $2.50 a gallon. And so we delve into the murky– or is that cloudy?– world of grease theft. The Old Gray Lady weaves a strange tale of late night Burger King raids, private dicks working for grease collection and rendering companies, shady environmentalists, and (as always) befuddled cops. Oh, and a lawyer who specializes in defending the "grease rustlers." "Once you put something in the trash, it’s abandoned property,” said Jon A. Jaworski, a lawyer in Houston who represents accused grease thieves. “A lot of times, it’s not theft.” And a lot of times it is. The unsolved 2,500-gallon Burger King heist chronicled at the outset was worth more than $6,000 on the black (yellow) market. There's only two elements missing from this tale of low life and high fat: the drivers who buy the stuff that "fell off the back of a dumpster" and government intervention. How long before the liquid gold is regulated and taxed? Take our word for it: not long at all. 

The New York Times reports that the failure of the Interstate 35W bridge in downtown Minneapolis had many fathers. A study by Gray Plant Mooty, a Minneapolis law firm hired by the state legislature, indicates that the collapse was caused by bad design, bad maintenance, bad inspections and bad enforcement. "In their 84-page report, the investigators laid out a pattern of missed opportunities and policy violations: inspection reports that failed to quantify the severity of corrosion, officials who later said they had not known that their duties included reviewing such inspections and a lack of special provisions for where heavy equipment should be placed for the construction work." Needless to say, the post-tragedy investigation has turned into partisan politics and finger-pointing. “It appears that some of what was happening was due to a lack of funding and communication problems,” said State Representative Bernie Lieder, a Democrat who is co-chairman of the committee that assigned the investigation. “You have to say that the governor bears some responsibility.” Seems to me there's plenty of blame to go around. The "accident" on August 1, 2007 killed thirteen people and injured 145 others.

Ah, to live in a country where the powers-that-be can just… be. As Auto-Lenta.ru [via Autobloggreen] reports in its own special way (that's a pretty politically powerful car!), Moscow authorities are saying nyet to passenger vehicles that don't meet Euro-II pollution standards (which is just about everything running made before 2005). These dirty cars are now запрещенный from entering the city center. Autobloggreen pronounces the decision an environmental initiative– but they would, wouldn't they? The ban couldn't possibly have anything to do with stimulating new car sales or giving the commissars more parking spaces or tidying-up the city for tourists or anything other than saving the children. Meanwhile, fans of Borat are immediately ordered to click on this link, for a translated car review called "Good outside, inside the gray." "Volkswagen Touran was not just a car, but also funny toy. Tell me, what machines have officially sold in Russia, may be to amuse a little semi-parking system, which itself steep steering wheel?" True dat.

I mean, how much worse can the UK's anti-speeding jihad get? Aside from actually making shit up, oh wait, that's what they did. Kent County's police officers issued speeding tickets to people who weren't speeding. (More than this and the fact that a member of the force was suspended, the police will not reveal.) So how can the Kent County constabulary act even more reprehensibly towards motorists? By not reversing the speeding fines and points illegally "awarded" to drivers. And yet, Pistonhead reports that Kent police "have dropped 200 speeding charges after allegations an officer rigged roadside checks – but do not plan to notify the rest of the motorists caught." You must be joking. Nope. According to Motorcycle News, a serving Kent officer said that not everyone caught by the operator will be notified because "files are only kept for one year and the cost would be very significant." Folks, keep in mind that one speeding conviction in the UK puts you two speeding convictions away from license revocation, with all of the economic hardship that implies. And ANY points on your license translate into higher insurance premiums. Not to mention the erosion of public confidence in/support for the police. What's it going to take to get the UK government to end this self-financing holy war against its own, otherwise law-abiding citizenry?

Did you know that sprinter Michael Duane Johnson could (can?) run 27 miles per hour? Obviously, he could only maintain that pace long enough to catch a bus or win an Olympic medal, and he'd have a hard time doing either whilst talking on the cell and carrying a child in one of those humongous child seats. But the point remains: 20mph is a very, very slow for a car. And a more important question also persists: is 20mph safer than say, 25mph? Or 30mph? In absolute terms, if we're talking about car – pedestrian contact, ipso facto. The faster the car at the moment of impact, the more energy involved. But driving safety's a slippery customer, where the primary variables are the driver's level of attentiveness, personal reaction times and a wide variety of road conditions. So, will the UK's decision to lower speed limits in town centers to 20mph help the Government reduce road deaths from 3,000 to 2,000 a year? To make that analysis, you'd have to know how many of those fatalities involved pedestrians in town centers, what speed the contact occurred, if a reduced speed would have prevented the fatality, and what other, perhaps more crucial variables were in play. From a public policy standpoint, you'd have to also analyze the expense of changing the signs and time lost vs. any other, perhaps more effective measures. But two things are for sure: that's a debate the UK isn't having, and no other measure would collect so much– if any– revenue for the government. And remember: it's all for the children. 

As U.S. politicians respond to the imperative "Do something, anything about all those soccer moms driving around while yakking on cell phones (except my wife, of course)," it looks like we ain't got game. According to the country cell phone bans list, use a cell phone whilst driving in New Delhi, India– hands-free or no– and you're looking at prison time. But do all these legal strictures actually increase road safety? The Wall Street Journal [sub] reports that many researchers have concluded that the only deterrent that makes a difference is the New Delhi solution. The New York Times [reg] recently reported on work from Carnegie Mellon saying that even listening on a hands-free cell phone impairs drivers as much as knocking back a few beers. Nobody seems to talk about the safety benefits of cell phones including calling AAA for help with a flat tire, calling 911 to report accidents, reporting road debris before someone gets hurt or calling in drunk drivers. Perspective people, perspective.

Unless you're the fastidious type, you might want to avoid driving in Melissa. WFAA reports that police in the Texas town pulled over one Mark Robinson for failure to use his turn signal. The police officer then hauled the 24-year-old to jail where "he was booked, strip searched, and sat for 3 hours." Robinson found himself sitting next to Bubba other dangerous criminals. "They asked me what I was in there for and I said a turn signal violation." Robinson had a clean (to that point) rap sheet and claimed he'd never been jailed before (yeah? what about that faulty taillight thing?). However, Robison does admit that he "challenged" the officer's questions when he was stopped. Still, Melissa's police chief was aghast. "In the 6 years I've been the police chief, this is the first time," says Chief Duane Smith. But he stands behind his officer. "I'm not going to let some little out-of-town asshole punk kid mouth off to my officer. He's lucky I didn't beat the shit out of him." No, I'm kidding. I just made that up. As far as I know.

Apparently there are those that would disagree with you. The Local (in Sweden) is reporting that Claes Tingvall, a car safety specialist, told the newspaper Expressen that GM used human cadavers in a multi-year research project (imagine the smell) to test the safety of their vehicles, possibly on the Saab side of the house. In the ultimate gesture of brand devotion, all ah… participants… allegedly donated their bodies to the cause (no word on if any of them met an untimely end whilst in a GM vehicle). GM and Saab are refusing to acknowledge any tests using their most loyal customers… er, dead human bodies. I've heard of "Cradle-to-Grave" strategies, but does GM build a car that even a dead person could drive? I think Lexus has one. Anyway, the whole thing sounds fishy. Dead men tell no tales, and while you can dissect and glean facts from trauma, there's a reason why crash test dummies are so expensive. They're specially designed to measure stresses and forces from the inside in a quantifiable way, which is more useful than a "He's dead, Jim," from an autopsy tech. I like cars,but I guess I'd rather donate my body to real science, not to a bunch of yokels in lab coats that are going to strap me into (God forbid) a G5 and run it repeatedly into walls to test the effects of excrement-based interior materials on human flesh. 

Pistonheads reports that Suffolk police are leading the charge to ensure that all UK motorists are banned from driving. OK, that's not the goal– even if it isn't entirely unimaginable. As befits the British Nanny State, the police are trying to ticket as many speeders as possible to stop them from killing themselves. Or others. Yes, we've been down this road (at the posted speed limit) before. But I think it's important for TTAC's Best and Brightest to appreciate the Suffolk Po-po's full commitment to public safety. Pistonheads reports that the constabulary nailed 94 percent more mobile scofflaws between April 21 and 27 than they'd collared during their previous six-day high water mark. We're talking 854 selfish bastards vs. 264 'scrotes. Assuming the absolute minimum possible fine for all [who bloody well should be] concerned– £44 or $86.2749– The Suffolk Old Bill added £37,576 ($73,668.63) to the county coffers. If they could maintain that pace (£6,262.66667 per day), they'd raise £2,285,873.33 ($4,481,316.10) in a year. But that's not the point, is it mate? Speaking on behalf of "you should see what I've scaped off the pavement" police everywhere, Sgt Steve Knight said a "significant" number of motorists have "failed to grasp the concept" that speed kills. "Motorists really have no excuse," he said. 

To say motoring-related police enforcement and green-justified taxation has driven a wedge between the average UK citizen subject and Her Majesty's government would be an excellent example of British understatement. Literally every day we hear news of another "us vs. them" story, whereby motorists face new charges and/or the police punish them for what is, let's face it, normal behaviour (a.k.a. speeding). To wit: one in three of all licensed UK drivers have points on the license. And the hits keep happening. The Daily Mail reports that "a leaked memo has revealed that rank-and-file officers in the Norfolk force have been told that incidents such as car vandalism should not be classed as an offence when there is 'no idea how it happened.'" From the memo: "We appear to be making things difficult for ourselves by 'criming' things which aren't actually crimes. One example is where a car window is found to be damaged, no entry to vehicle, no witnesses and no idea how it happened. This has been recorded as criminal damage, even though there is no evidence to suggest it fits the definition. If there is no evidence of someone intending to destroy or be reckless then there is no crime." In other words, Norfolk crime figures are getting a bit of Shiatsu. I know what you're thinking. "The Association of British Insurers said claims for criminal damage would not be affected if police refused to issue crime numbers." So, if a 'scrote pushes a tree onto your car in The New Forest, does your car really exist?