No, Chrysler doesn’t have any plans to show its three reported EV prototypes to the public. After all, that might imply that these mythical vehicles have some chance of making it into production. Instead, the Auburn Hills mob will be displaying the unnamed, unhinted-at prototypes to dealers only. Because what dealers doesn’t love cars that they can’t sell? Anyway, mission accomplished for Chrysler co-president Jim Press, who leveraged the announcement to make the dubious claim that “we are making substantial progress on electrification of our vehicles.” No, seriously; Chrysler is focusing on developing hybrid electric plug-in vehicles with a range of 300 miles. Not only that, but Press claims ChryCo can “move forward with advanced products for electrification with or without partners.” With the current crop of Chrysler products making a compelling case for suicide, it seems that they’ve learned [from GM] that It doesn’t matter how bad your products are right now. If you swear you have a world-beater just around the corner, the government will bail you out. Press is right on message: “The biggest issue for the auto market today is getting adequate credit, not $4.00 a gallon gas.” Just so.

Surprise! As in none. In an article that sets new standards for brevity, Automotive News [AN, sub] reports that General Motors is extending its Employee Discount for Everyone (except GM employees) sale through September. The Wall Street Journal reports that the discounts now cover 80 percent of GM’s ’09 models. And if that isn’t a sign of desperate times– and it surely is– GM is luring existing leaseholders with “Targeted Lease Bonus Cash.” If they come out of their lease before January third (and not a day later), they get money to use towards a purchase or lease on a number of new (’09) GM vehicles. The ’09s included in the deal: Trailblazer ($6k), Tahoe and Tahoe Hybrid ($4k); Silverado/Avalance and Express ($3k); and Impala ($500). The bonus cash has dropped from $2k to $1k for the Corvette, Colorado, HHR, Aveo and C4500. Oh, and the $1k bonus bucks now applies to the Malibu four-cylinder and NOT the six (as before). Another, even bigger change: the bonus cash can be applied to a lease from ANY financial institution (not just GMAC). On the regular rebate side of things, the cash on the hood for the Enclave and Acadia has sunk from $1500 to $1000.  Oh, and GM workers hoping to cash-in on their $500 Farm Bureau Insurance discount are shit out of luck. The discount now only applies to non-GM employees.

Money. The Georgia-based 14-store Bill Heard franchise has generated massive volume despite– or because of– an entire range of deceptive practices. As Automotive News [sub] reports, "With group revenues of $2.13 billion in 2007, Bill Heard Enterprises, of Columbus, Ga., ranks No. 13 on Automotive News' list of the top 125 U.S. dealership groups based on new retail units sold." Yes, well, "Heard's Town Center dealership in Kennesaw, Ga., lied to third-party lenders about customers' incomes to increase the likelihood that the vehicles would be financed. Bill Heard's flagship Chevrolet store in Columbus, Ga., forged consumers' signatures on agreements without their knowledge or permission. Town Center inflated the loaned value of vehicles by telling third-party lenders the vehicles carried extra features and options that they did not — an illegal practice known as "power booking." In September 2007, Heard subsidiary Tom Jumper Chevrolet sent a direct mail advertisement informing recipients they might receive financing at interest rates as low as 3.9 percent. The ad went only to people with low credit scores who were unlikely to qualify for such terms." Not to mention a fake recall notice and all the other "normal" shady sales techniques. While these and other matters work their way through the courts, it seems Billy Boy's screwed GMAC one too many times. GM's captive lender has pulled the plug on Heard's biz. How long before the class action consumer lawyers come knocking on GM's door, wanting to know what The General knew about "Mr. Volume" and when they knew it.  

If I had a shotgun, I would be in jail right now. Since Chrysler LLC refuses to acknowledge TTAC's existence and won't give us access to their press cars (unlike Audi, Bentley, Aston Martin, Mercedes-Benz, Volkswagen, and a lot of others), we have to bug dealers for test drives. Seeing dealerships in the greater Oklahoma City Metro area receiving Dodge Challenger SE's (the V6 4-speed auto-only versions), I went a-hunting. Fowler Dodge: "you cannot drive a Challenger until you sign the paperwork to buy one, even the $25,000 model, because people want NO miles on them, as they are collectors items." David Stanley Dodge possessed no less than six Challenger SEs. They flat-out refused a test drive, demanding a sizeable deposit for the "collectible model." Mark Heitz Dodge scoffed and refused to even open up the their car. Bob Moore Dodge in Edmond roped theirs off (I'm pretty sure I saw an SRT8 in an inflatable bubble). ALL of the Challengers I encountered had at least a $5K markup on the windshield (some disguised as a "chrome" package). Meanwhile, the base $25k model is already finding its way into the rental fleets (check out your local Thrifty– they might have one already). The behavior of dealers like these is a big reason Chrysler finds itself in such trouble. Time after time, they insult the customer with ridiculous markups, patronizing sales tactics and flat-out deceit. Jackie Cooper BMW will let you take out a $75,000 BMW M3, Mercedes of Oklahoma threw me the keys to an SL55 and Porsche of Edmond called me to tell me about their new Boxster S. Dodge dealers, I hate to break it to you, but your $25,000 Challenger SE, while good-looking IS NOT THAT SPECIAL. It's a $25k Mustang competitor. Let as many people as you can drive them, price them right and maybe, just maybe, you won't have them stacking up on your lots in three months.

Honda decided to ship the new 2009 Fit to dealer lots a full one month before it was scheduled to do so. Why? Because they are selling them as fast as they can build them – or faster. The diminutive Honda hatchback is sold out through September, and Honda figured they might as well get a move on delivering Fits ASAP. And so begins the process of trying to buy a Fit. Welcome to "No, we're not doing test drives" and "It's a 2 month wait or longer" or the popular "We're going to need a credit card deposit." For people that want their own fun to drive 28/35 mpg car right now, there's already a 2009 Fit on eBay Motors, a Sport model (that's the higher trim level). Starting bid is at MSRP of $17,580, or you can buy it right now for $1000 over MSRP.

Ford says it's not killing Mercury but their actions indicate otherwise. In the past two years, The Blue Oval Boyz have cut their ranks by 400 dealers, mainly by merging the three brands under one roof in many areas. Automotive News [sub] reports that starting this week, Ford execs will tell the remaining stand-alone Lincoln-Mercury dealers their latest and greatest consolidation plan for rolling them into Ford dealerships. The dealers aren't overly pleased with the prospects, but they see the handwriting on the wall. While Ford says they stand behind the Mercury brand and will give it a new small car, "one Ford insider told Automotive News that company executives want to make it clear to dealers that no major influx of new product is coming for Mercury." Once the dealer consolidation is done, you can just about bet that the Mercury brand will be starved for product, with all of the new models going to Ford or Lincoln. Then it's just a matter of time before Mercury just fades away like DeSoto in the early 60s.

Despite swearing up, down and sideways that Toe Tag sales were a thing of the past, GM started a new "employee pricing for everyone" sale yesterday. It runs through September second. At least. All the new pricing info is locked and loaded on TrueDelta. Every GM model ["91 vehicles found"] is included in the EPFE sale, even the Corvette and Pontiac G8. The "employee discount" is $75 less than it was three years ago– no big deal. But Saab and Saturn now share the regular GM formula; they had their own employee pricing formulas the last time around. This means that Saabs are priced slightly higher than before, while most Saturns drop by a few hundred bucks. (Employee pricing is especially helpful with Saturns, as many dealers normally insist on charging full sticker.) With the other GM brands, you can often negotiate a price not too far above the employee price anyway. GM shaved rebates by $1k and even $1,500 in a few cases. Rebates actually increased by $250 for the last next big thing, the Lambda crossovers. The most heavily discounted vehicle: the Saab 9-7X. The Saablazer carries an $8k rebate on top of the employee price. If low-interest financing is your thing, fuhgeddaboutit. GM removed zero-percent financing from most models; 0.9 is now the lowest you'll find (except on a Hummer). For many models the "special GMAC rate" is now 6.9 percent. As in "get your financing elsewhere."

I know I [once again] risk the wrath of those who view me as GM's bête noir (I prefer to think of myself as an enfant terrible, but I'm way too old for that action). Even so, the news [via Reuters] that The General is upping the warranty on its Certified Pre-Owned (CPO) vehicles– from 3 months/3k miles miles to 12 months/12k miles– should be seen in context. It comes on the same day that GM announced it's pulling back on Buick, Pontiac and GMC leasing. Pulling back as in no longer offering leasing on any of the brands' models save the Pontiac G6 (go figure, fleet fans). With more brands to follow (suffer the little Cadillacs). Folks, it's all about the residuals– and I don't mean the customer's residual values. I'm talking about the multi-billion dollar hammering GM's taking on lease returns. And so is GM spokesman John McDonald, to The Detroit Free Press. "Leases, for a long time, have been supported at below-market rates. We're not able to financially support leases at below-market rates when the residuals have eroded as much as they have." So the CPO deal and the leasing no deal are designed to put a tourniquet on GM's self-inflicted wounds of lousy products, weak brands, the wrong products, chronic over-production, fleet sales and, I think that's it. Who can remember any more?

You know Houston is a town riding high on oil revenue when the local Lamborghini dealer invites members of the media to gawk at their latest inventory. Seeing the LP560 up close and personal and getting my fingerprints (oops!) on the Reventón was fun. And it turns out that Lamborghini Houston is the world's volume leader for the Reventón, cornering 20 percent of market. So they're stacking 'em deep and selling 'em cheap? Not at $2.5m they're not. The Gallardo is a different story: Lamborghini is reacting to market changes faster than anyone expected. Without the restrictive "list" of their Maranello counterparts, Lamborghini faces a glut of '08 Gallardos languishing on dealer lots. The days of easy money are gone, and used Gallardos' resale value keeps new car demand low. So the Raging Bull now only produces LP560s after customers buy them and keeps costs to a minimum with a fancy-schmancy IT infrastructure. (Thanks, Audi!) The customer specs their Lambo via plasma screen in the dealership's ritzy lounge, and the money saved goes to customer-grabbing promotions like shows and racetrack events. And unlike the tsunami of Tundras threatening Toyota's sales numbers, nobody in Bologna fears underproduction. That's just more time for the craftsmanship, baby.

GM dealers are catching it from all directions. The General cutting back on leasing (with a very sharp knife) even as the troops wait for central command to fix the mix, And now the corporate mothership's gutting the dealers' GM Mark of Excellence 2008 Recognition Programs. A message to dealers outlined the "difficult" changes that resulted in canceling "select rewards" but added new cheaper incentives. Travel rewards are toast. In their stead: prepaid $1k debit cards and "exclusively yours®" reward points. "GM PerQs" are also gone, whatever the Hell they are. On the positive side, GM's cut the dealers' monthly enrollment fee by 50 percent. However, any refunds for prepaid feeds will "be applied to the Dealer's Open Account." Click here for a PDF of the complete communique. If a GM dealer or an industry-savvy member of our Best and Brightest can parse this for us, we'd be much obliged.

OK, that's not the real name of Chrysler "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Leases" program. It's "Shop 'til You Drive." You have to admit: it's a lot less catchy than our version. I mean, I'm not quite sure how the ChyrCo message parses. Shop 'til you drive away? Shop 'til our salesmen drive you nuts? No se. Here's ex-Toyota and current ChryCo Prez Jim Press' official explanation [via Automotive News, sub]: "We are leveraging the move from leasing to retail purchases to offer our customers the best deals of the year and make buying as affordable as renting." No way Jose! Anyway, the bottom line: 40 percent off sticker for the Ram, 25 percent off MSRP for the Aspen, 24 percent off the Town & Country minivans and 28 percent off Grand Cherokees. Chrysler Financial is offering up to $2k cash on "select" retail purchases and expanding its 72-month financing. Apparently, Chrysler "Celebrates August Retail Purchase and Finance Enhancements." Please don't tell me a Lionel Ritchie soundtrack is heading our way…. 

Click here for "Shop 'Til You Drive Sales Event" press release  

Last month, I brought you the shocking news that local Dodge dealers were marking-up Charger SRT/8's by $10K, or more. I recently revisited the same OK (as in the state) dealer, after a tip-off that they had several pre-delivery Challengers on the back lot. Sneaking on scene with sets of "borrowed" Challenger keys, I passed the same two SRT/8 Chargers that were gracing the showroom floor 30 days prior. They'd painted "Hail Sale!" on the windscreen. A large hail storm had turned their sculpted rears into cellulite infested thighs. You can now pick one up for $38K or so, and 0 percent financing (but no leases). As for the Challengers, seeing them in the metal changed my opinion. They're a sight to behold, with menacing faces and near perfect proportions. The seats are incredibly comfortable, the dash sports soft touch plastic. And the bad news: the  build quality sets new lows, even for Chrysler Corp. The paint on the rear bumper didn't match the fender. The metallic grain flopped in numerous places, and the panel gaps were uneven on the trunks and passenger doors (on all three models). So I guess the Challenger is the most faithful rehashing of the 70's muscle car yet. Stay tuned for a full Challenger review; Sajeev Mehta has his own insiders. And yes, they marked up the Challengers by $20K.

In a not-so-stunning piece of preemptive PR– before the July sales data hits the fan– Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli has told his troops that more fuel-efficient vehicles are on their way. The Detroit News reports Nardelli's four-wheeled fuel-sipping cavalry could arrive as early as next year, "possibly including an unexpected model to debut next year." Less specifically, "You very well could see some new platforms, some new vehicles out next year," Nardelli told reporters at a dealership dedication. The aggressively conservative head of the ailing American automaker also took the opportunity to introduce a new euphemism. "We continue to reprioritize our capital," Boot 'Em Bob reassured. "To make sure we are responding to one of the most significant changes we see in consumer buying preferences to downsize and look for fuel efficiency." Will a previously-conjectured partnership with Italy's Fiat or India's Tata Motors or Japan's Nissan or France's Renault or the UK's Ultima [just kidding] deliver this much-needed Chrysler product or products? To quote a Disney movie I can't recall, Mmmmmmm. Could be. Or better yet, Bob himself: "Partnerships with other automakers could be part of those new product introductions." So now you know. Ish. 

We've just heard from our sources that GMAC is about to announce that it will no longer offer lease deals on the Yukon, Yukon XL, Suburban, Tahoe, all full-size trucks, Envoys and TrailBlazers as of tomorrow. The General's captive finance arm will also raise the "money factor" (the leasing rate) on Cadillacs by two percent. Needless to say, this will be an enormous blow to GM's sales. We're told that GM has called a meeting of all mid-western dealers at the Rock Financial Showcase for the same day, [presumably] so that marketing maven Mark LaNeve can announce the incentive deals that will replace leasing. We also hear that GM is about suspend employee pricing on most car lines, such as the Chevy Cobalt, in order to make money where they can. We'll have more info as we get it. [hat tip to you-know-who-you-are]

ChryCo NA Sales Veep Steven Landry tells the media not to worry about the company's exit from the lease business. Cause every little thing's gonna be all right. Here are his four little birdies, verbatim [TTAC comments in brackets].

1) Chrysler's dealers are still able to offer customers lease financing arrangements with other financial institutions, separate from Chrysler Financial. [ED: This on the very same day Chase Auto Finance announced it's withdrawing financing for Chrysler vehicles.]

2) Current vehicle owners, Chrysler employees and retirees with leased vehicles through Chrysler Financial will not be affected by this shift, and the terms of their contract will remain in force. Chrysler Financial will continue to support and service current Chrysler, Jeep and Dodge lease and balloon-contract holders. [So no repo man… yet]

3) Should current lessees purchase their existing lease vehicle, or a new Chrysler, Jeep or Dodge vehicle at the end of their existing lease, Chrysler Financial will waive the disposition fee. Chrysler is also offering a loyalty bonus of up to $750 incremental to most other incentives with the purchase of a new vehicle. Chrysler wants to keep these customers in our family! [when a press release throws a spear (!) you know they're desperate]

4) Chrysler employee lease/company car programs for current and retired salary Chrysler employees, in which vehicles are obtained through the company, are not affected. [translation: our execs will continue to get cheap cars]