Earth2Tech, Earth2Tech. Come in, Tech. You may be wondering if green websites like Earth2Tech are anxious about the possibility that GM (and/or its new masters) will kill the electric/gas hybrid Chevrolet Volt. You may recall that the Presidential Task Force on Autos (PTFOA) tore the Volt a new exhaust pipe in its original GM viability slam down. And it seems like there’s a bit of a C11 thing happening over at RenCen. Anyway, to their credit, Earth2Tech’s Volt-related concerns are global. So they emailed GM for reassurance on the European Volt program. And, by jove, they got it! “The Ampera is being developed in the U.S., and GM remains firm on its plans to bring the Ampera to the EU,” blogger Josie Garthwaite reports. And now, from the horses mouth: “‘We don’t expect any disruptions to our plans,’ GM spokeswoman Natalie Johnson told us in an email today. Neither does the Opel team. Communications director Rene Kreis reiterated that Ampera production is on schedule to begin in late 2011.” Good to go is one thing. But no disruptions? Props for maximum chillaxitude. Alternatively, brickbats for the usual spinmeisterly BS. Your call.

Automotive News [sub] reports that Ford has decided to shelve plans to introduce a diesel F-150 in 2010. Last spring, Ford demoed dealers with a 4.4-liter oil burning V8 F-150. It boasted an estimated 350 hp and 500 lb·ft of torque—more power and twist than the F-150’s 5.4-liter gasoline V8 while quaffing 20 percent less fuel. And then F-150 sales dried-up and gas prices cratered—especially relative to diesel. “No new date has been scheduled [for the diesel pickup],” Mark Fields, Ford’s president of the Americas, told Automotive News late last month. “We’re still looking at the appropriate time to do that. We’ve put it on the back burner for right now.” According to AN‘s source/speculation, the diesel F-150 has officially been delayed until 2013. “But it will likely be canceled outright unless diesel prices fall substantially below gasoline for a prolonged period.” And then what? You’d think Ford would want a fully developed, tried and tested diesel F-150 in their quiver ahead of any such completely unexpected development. Then again, money’s too tight to mention.

Believe it, kids . . . the Cimarron is back! According to a Motor Trend “Scoop,” GM has acknowledged that it doesn’t have the resources to compete in Europe’s tough luxury market, build an RWD Alpha-platform “baby CTS,” or really do much of anything besides bringing another Epsilon II-based whip to the US market. Can you feel the excitement? The project, codenamed “GM 166,” will reportedly be positioned between the Buick LaCrosse and the Cadillac CTS. How? By costing more than the LaCrosse, of course. Because who doesn’t want a warmed-over FWD midsize starting at $35 grand?

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And the bigwigs spent ten years building brand equity with cheap, basic transportation. And lo, the Japanese automakers headed upmarket, ceding entry level business to the Koreans. And the Seoul sales train smiled for it was good. And then came the Genesis, and Hyundai’s new day morphed in the minds of its creators from budget luxo-fighter to an opportunity for sub-brand confusion and ADD.

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Station wagon lovers rejoice! Both of you! I kid . . . a bit. Our sources reveal that Audi has decided to bring a smaller, cheaper version of the previous, slow-selling Allroad back to the US market to compete with the 2010 Subaru Outback. Audi will make the official announcement at a forthcoming US dealers’ meeting in Spain. (No bailouts, no problems.) “Audi believes there’s a large number of US Outback owners who’re tired of the brand,” our man reports. “Customers who want the same sort of vehicle, only better.” Well he would say that: he’s in line for one of the first models. Pricewise, expect the A4-based US Allroad (as opposed to the previous gen A6-based model) to start where the Outback ends: in the upper 30s, lower 40s. (As does the A4 sedan.) Timing-wise, Audi hopes to pip the new Outback to the post, putting the wagon into showrooms in September.

Just kidding. I mean, both parts of the story are true: Daimler workers are protesting and Mercedes is NSFW-canning the 6.2something liter version of the M3-chasing CLK. In the case of the Daimler workers, they’re doing what German workers do: take to the streets to protest the slightest roll-back in pay or bennies. Oh, did you think this was a union protest? Nein. “Workers wearing cardboard masks of chief executive Dieter Zetsche’s face carried collection boxes as they protested against pay cuts of up to 14 per cent for the company’s 73,000 white-collar staff. They are also being asked to reduce their working week by up to five hours.” As for Daimler’s assembly workers, they’re being gummed to death. “The car maker has also put 50,000 factory workers in automotive production on shorter working hours, and plans the same for another 18,000 commercial vehicle workers after Easter.” Same money, less hours? Yeah, that’ll work. Meanwhile, back to the Galactica! It looks like AMG’s maximum thrust models (apologies to Peter North) are due for a major cutback.

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Kowalski! Report! It’s a prototype vehicle integrating a lithium-ion battery, digital smart energy management, two-wheel balancing, dual electric wheel motors and a dockable user interface that allows off-board connectivity. Translation? It’s a wheelchair for bipeds built for permanent wheelies. Rico! We’re going to need a press pass to the New York Auto Show. Thanks Rico, I didn’t know you had it in you. Private, I want you attach a small explosive charge to the bottom of that thing. We’ll give those guys a hot seat they’ll never forget. Skipper? Not now Kowalski; we’re about to capitalize on an automaker’s ADD all the way to the south pole. But Skipper, the Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility vehicle—–Don’t withhold acronyms from me Kowalski. You know how much I love acronyms. Sorry Skip. The P.U.M.A. is a battery powered prototype. It’s effective operating range may only be a few hundred yards. And it’s made by GM. Good point, Private. OK boys, plan B. What’s that Skipper? We wait for GM to go C11. Then we pick-up a Tahoe Hybrid and use it to power this thing. When will that be Skipper? Soon. End of days, Skip? End of days, boys, end of days.

Or not. I mean, it’s got to be an April Fool’s joke, right? With Aston Martin desperately seeking suitors, with cars sales in general and luxury car sales in specific in free fall, could there BE a worse time to announce your intention to enter the supercar arena? (And I sincerely hope the answer to that question is no.) And yet Autocar tells us that “McLaren is planning to claw its way back to the very top of the supercar ranks with an extended range of high-performance models, including a hi-tech successor to the legendary F1.” But be very, very quiet; they’re hunting Bugattis. “Details of the plans have been outlined to Autocar by a high-ranking official with intimate knowledge of the company’s secret business plan.” McLaren’s man in the know says that the P11 will be joined by a new F1, called the P1 (of course). And more! “The Woking firm will use its new mid-engined 430 Scuderia and Gallardo LP560-4 rival, the P11, as the springboard for the eventual introduction of a complete range of cutting-edge supercars designed, engineered and produced in the UK.” As JP said, dreamin’ just comes natural, mate.

Autocar has revealed Nissan’s luxury brand’s five-year plan: “a Mercedes S-class-sized limousine, a new all-wheel-drive seven-seat SUV and an all-electric entry-level model.” Guess which one is slated for 2012? Meanwhile, the new M has a no-V8s-please date with 2010. “This car will be engineered to accept Infiniti’s 3.7-litre V6 petrol engine, and its forthcoming 3.0-litre V6 turbodiesel—although both the EX and FX SUVs will get the V6 oil-burner before that.” [NB: Infiniti’s in Europe now, hence the oil burners. For them.] So far, so believable, Moving along the timeline, and across the credibility axis, next up: a 2011 “flagship.” No, not the S-Class thingie. A new QX SUV! Rescuing that turkey’s rep in the middle of the SUV downturn strikes me as a billion dollar windmill tilt, but, hey, show us what you’ve got. In 2012, an Infiniti Quattroporte killer. Huh? Just the sub-head. “The firm’s biggest four-door will be badged ‘Q’ and will take over from the Q45 saloon that Infiniti discontinued in 2006.” And for good reason on all counts. And finally, electric dreams. “Infiniti’s most distant plans currently include a battery-powered compact model, although building it is still very much an ambition for the company rather than a concrete part of the product schedule.” As good a definition of vaporware as I’ve ever read, excluding Tesla press releases.

Shortly before Tesla officially debuted its Model S Sedan, three photos were leaked via (sigh) Twitter. This was one of them. Ouch. Tesla asked the leaker (Digg founder Kevin Rose) to remove the photos, prompting him to comment that he is “not sure if the company knows how the ’ol web works.” Anyway, the Model S (formerly WhiteStar) is supposedly being built on a chassis of Tesla’s own design (insert mirthless laugh here), will go up to 300 miles on a charge and hit 60 mph in 5.5 seconds. And all those “facts” sound reasonable compared to Tesla’s assertions that it will go on sale in 2011, ramp up to 20,000 units in the first year, and seat seven. Did the Jetson kids sit in the trunk too? Prices start at about $60K, depending on the battery choice, tax break and how gullible you are. Oh, and the looks? They got nothing on Fisker’s Karma.

Honda planned its new Insight hybrid to cost less than Toyota’s ubiquitous Prius in hopes of snagging economy-minded hybrid shoppers. Unfortunately for Honda, the Insight wasn’t quite the bargain they’d hoped for. Despite rumors of an $18,500 base MSRP during planning, the Insight ended up just a few grand away from the Prius at $20,470 base (including delivery charge). And now Toyota is returning the favor, telling Automotive News [sub] that it’s planning a Yaris-based “economy hybrid” to undercut the Insight. “We are going to compete by expanding our hybrid-vehicle lineup to smaller hybrids, in the class of the Vitz and Yaris,” says Prisu chief designer Akihiko Otsuka, using both the Japanese domestic and overseas market names for Toyota’s supermini. The implication is that this baby hybrid will hit all of Toyota’s major markets possibly beginning as early as 2011. But Honda isn’t taking the news sitting down reminding AN that a Fit Hybrid is also being planned which could bring Honda’s hybrid entry cost down even further. All of which is good news for hybrids, which seem ready to finally leave behind their eco-accessory reputation and get stuck into some good, old-fashioned value competition.

There’s only one thing worse than realizing you’re a cynical bastard: realizing you’re a cynical bastard and the world really IS that corrupt. Oh well. The truth hurts, both giving and receiving. In this case, I had high hopes for the Tata Nano. As the son of a Romanian immigrant for whom car ownership was proof positive that America is the world’s greatest country, I believe that the motorization of the world’s largest democracy would unleash that nation’s creativity, productivity and prosperity. But when Tata “launched” the Nano two days ago, without a factory to produce it, I smelled a rat[tan]. The next day, there it was: Tata’s in not-so “secret negotiations” for a billion dollar UK bailout for their ill-advised—not to say hubristic—purchase of Jaguar and Land Rover. So, there’s your timing then. Oh, and the announcement on Autobloggreen this morning that the NSFA (Not Safe For America) Tata will export the micro-car to America (with a few mods, ’natch) in 2011 or 2012 (or 2020) is not to be taken seriously. The argument that Tata’s pie-in-the-sky promise to do the same for Europe actually weakens the case, not strengthens it. Or maybe that’s just me being cynical again. One can only hope.

Rumors have simmering for some time now that say Porsche is considering extending its once-focused brand downmarket. Again. And though the Roxster rumors prompted a repudiation of volume-chasing from Zuffenhausen, word is filtering in from the German auto press that Porsche might be considering a neo-914 project with VW. Or, as the starry-eyed fools at Motor Authority put it, “work on the next-generation Boxster and what has been thought of as a 914 revival may be a sort of cover for the even more secret work on the 356’s modern spiritual successor.” What they mean (I think) is that the new baby Porsche could be a rebadged VW, true to tradition. The Bluesport Concept, in this case. Of course that means cannibal trouble for the proposed Audi version, but that was coming anyway (VW “needs” to share the platform with “at least” three brands). Meanwhile, CAFE doesn’t just loom for Porsche, they’ve been fined every year since 1991. Oh yeah, and the lovable Boxster has loaded over $6K onto its base MSRP since its 1997 debut. So I’ll break with site tradition and say Porsche should keep stretching that brand. Let’s face it: the Bluesport ain’t coming stateside as a VW, so we can’t expect a true “performance bargain” out of the Bluesport platform. A sub-$40K Porsche? That might be worth dreaming of.

You know that advertisement for the Cadillac Escalade Hybrid where a douchey fellow suggests that “they should hybrid (sic) this thing”? I would post the video, but it seems that Cadillac has pulled all trace of the spot from the interwebs leaving only the marginally less insipid “cupholders” and “checkmate” ads on its website. And though it’s strange to plumb the Tubes of You for hours and not find this mythically inane third ad, it’s disappearance down the memory hole isn’t surprising at all. The spot suggested a troglodyte’s approach to hybrid technology that is only underscored by the reality of GM’s hybrid strategy: quick-n-dirty BAS, expensive and complex two-mode system, and moon-shot EREV. Hybrid this. Okay, now hybrid that. [ED: Zammy found it!] But Nissan’s announcement today that it will be bringing a hybrid version of its Infiniti M to the US market in 2010 has to put the Japanese firm in contention for worst hybrid strategy around.

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Lambo’s abortion-for-four is “on ice,” reports Autocar. Because of “me-too” positioning and questionable styling? No, apparently “the timing and market conditions are just not right for an additional model line,” says Lambo’s R&D boss, Maurizio Reggiani. That’s it? What about a nice, reassuring “Lamborghini refuses to build bland, uninspired vehicles in a faddish niche just because several competitors are” retort? Or, perhaps, “we encourage the folks behind the new Lagonda to join us in supporting death with dignity for similarly useless concepts”? No? Fine. Blame the economy. But file this one under “creative destruction.”