I love investing. Not so much the garbage that comes from Wall Street infomercials or the ‘Get Rich Like My Dad’ crapola. I’m talking the real thing. A group of folks that take their money and smarts, and build something awesome. Computers. Schools. Lights. Movies. Paints and Wastebaskets. We may laugh at the minutiae of it all, but if we take the time to look between the lines of any great product, we can always find the beauty that makes that product worth buying. That’s because in certain businesses, those who are passionate about their work can influence the outcome. In the case of Chrysler and GM we’re the investors. But how can we get out?

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Evening time. Time for conversations, drinks, jokes and . . . spreadsheets? Apparently so. I’ve caught this nasty computerized bug lately. The symptoms are harder to shake than swine flu and almost as appealing. It’s figuring out my ‘cost to own’ for a variety of cars. The goal: get my cost down to 10 cents a mile. Three hours and too much wine later, I wondered. “Can it really happen in this world of $3 gas?” With purchase price, insurance, gas, opportunity cost, maintenance, repairs, and government fees aplenty, not to mention a junker selling price with inflation to boot, I wasn’t quite sure. In fact my head was spinning. The final answer?

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Monday morning at Carmax auctions. I see a 1992 Mazda B2200 truck with only 44,000 original miles. What the . . . ? Yep, checked the Autocheck and the Carfax. It had 44,000 miles. Interior. Immaculate. Not even a stain. Five-speed? A snick-snick work of (old) art that seems ready for action. The selling price? $1900 plus $105 auction fee. Not really that bad. The old Ranger and its Mazda sibling seem to be the unofficial vehicles of North Georgia. If I lived in Deliverance country, I could see even keeping it. Today’s buys were a 1997 Cadillac Deville for $1455 (including auction fee) and a ratty Subaru Loyale that was purely for speculative purposes for $120. The engine turns but doesn’t fire. Based on the history I’m thinking it’s either old gas or a fuel pump.

What demographics will win in the recent “Cash for Clunkers” legislation? Well let’s take a gander. In the cars section, all but the last two primarily appeal to folks that are north of the double nickel. Traditional Caddies, laid back Lincolns. Throw in some nasty old British hardware, a couple of misguided pseudo-imports (LS and Aurora), and the guido enriched pre-’92 F-body and you have the whole fleet. Also those who are into old-school Benzes and Q45s should definitely qualify, along with pre-1990s full-sized Detroit metal. But apparently Consumer Reports forgot about them. Oh well. So enthusiasts should get a couple of nods. For trucks?

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I had to travel 1000 miles to buy my first car. At the time Toyota dealers in the Southeast didn’t have Camrys with optional ABS (1994). Why? Supposedly you didn’t need it. Unless you bought the top of the line model, which cost an extra $3000. Thanks to this pearl of wisdom from Toyota’s Southeast distributorship, I went to New Jersey where my brother and I bought respective Camrys. Should I have bothered? I’ll put it this way. Back in the Clinton era this regional cabal offered a really nice Scotchguard protection deal that had the word ‘Toyo’ in it along with windows etched with your VIN and about $7 worth of hocus pocus that no one really cared to have. The surcharge? $699. They all did it. After my third or fourth visit to the local new car rodeo, I said “screw ’em” and headed to [New] Jersey.

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The oil in the Honda Insight’s engine was overfilled by nearly half the length of the dipstick by the new car dealer. I was 40 miles away from there with a well deserved vacation on the horizon. So, I did what anyone in my neck of the woods would do and fixed the problem myself. Except the problem didn’t get fixed. It got worse. Boy, did it get worse.

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Cory02 writes:

Something interesting happened with my nearest former Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep dealer (Dave Croft Motors in Collinsville, Illinois): they appear to be selling new Chrysler products again. In the days approaching the “drop-dead” date for the culled dealers, I thought it was odd that they not only kept the large “Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep” signs on their building but also kept them lit at night (I would have personally taken them down out of spite). The owner went through the motions of crying to the media, proclaiming that he would stay in business as a used dealer, and then moved all the new cars to the very back of the lot and put them in neat rows to await pickup and delivery to another dealer after June ninth.

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Freedom. It’s a blessing and a bitch. As graduates of the 21st century, the average Jane and Joe are loaded with expectations aplenty. Cell phones, computers, and iPods® are a given these days. Credit cards? Perhaps only for gas and groceries. But that’s on the list also. The expenses of the young are laden with a thousand cuts of consumerism. But none of them compare to the cost of a car. So, what should all the members of the family do? Think. Think. Think.

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I’ve been very lucky as of late. Last week I found a 1976 Cadillac Eldorado with only 33,000 original miles sulking in a friend’s garage. New battery. An oil change and the beauty flew like a wing of God. I still have goosebumps over that ride and for $4,000. Definitely worth the thought. Then I found a more contemporary 1988 Lincoln Town Car on the side of the road. Perhaps this would be the first opportunity to plan for the government’s impending debt-icide for this country? What do you say John Q government subsidizer? As a dealer, should I now plan to start accumulating these insatiable steel coffins of eternal debtnation?

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Even if I were a billionaire, I would still buy the store brands at the local supermarket. Names really mean nothing to me and the better deals always seem to be with the unproven or unpopular brands on the bottom shelves. Especially if they come with the right coupon as an incentive. When it comes to cars, I generally have the same attitude. Yes, there are brands that I personally disfavor on the low side (Daewoo-based Suzukis) and on the high side (BMW) as ‘keeper’ cars. But in between I’ve found a lot of great cars that simply carry the wrong name on their hood. And the loser – winners are . . .

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What was the best selling import SUV ten years ago? 4Runner? Passport? Daihatsu Rocky? It’s really a trick question because the vehicle in question was actually made in Indiana. Nope, not a Subaru Forester. It was the last successful GM import model, the Isuzu Rodeo. For most of the 1990s, Isuzu was indeed the star player in the import SUV segment. The Rodeo was their big one hit wonder. So big that Honda decided to trade badges and give Isuzu a minivan (Oasis) in exchange for the Rodeo’s street cred. On the flip side, their other SUV was the Trooper: a tall and awkward SUV on stilts that somehow managed to become . . well . . .

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Let’s assume you do about 5000 miles of commuting a year. It’s a typical miserable commute. But the job is great and come hell or deficit spending, you’ll be there as long as you like. While daydreaming about those glorious TPS reports you get to write every day, there’s a knock on your door. The fellow down the street who you’ve known since Clinton was enjoying his office has an offer you. “If you pay me $20 a week to help me with gas, I’ll drop you off at work and pick you up every day until 2020.” Your friend also offers you his car for those times when he’s on vacation, and should he move, die, or become another OJ, you get his car free and clear. The spouse overhears the conversation and exclaims, “This is great! We can sell the car and become a one car family!” You don’t care because like most employees of Dunder Mifflin, cars mean nothing but transportation to you. Your life revolves around the office. Here’s the question:

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Enthusiasts consider this idea every once in a blue moon. “If you could have just one car for the rest of your life, what would it be?” Last-gen BMW M5? Porsche 911? Corvette? Pontiac G8? Lotus Elise (just kidding). But how about folks who don’t care about cars? What should they get? The Camrolla and Civords would likely be at the top of the lists for the frugal and apathetic. But maybe a Grand Marquis or Crown Vic Interceptor would do fine. Then you have pre-Daimler Jeep Cherokees, RWD Volvo wagons, Subarus of certain stripes, and old Benzes that may now require German translations and Indian parts. The 10+ year old used car world has several winners for the tightwad crowd. But what about new and late model cars?

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I bought my first hybrid back in 2006. An ’01 Prius that was an absolute dealer queen. Oil changes every 3k. Every recommended service by Toyota performed. A brand new battery. New factory-spec tires from the dealer. It was a complete freak of nature amplified by the fact that I bought it at a time when I was the only dealer in the auction lane. The cost including the auction fee was $6650. It never left the auction. I took 24 pictures. Wrote a glorious soliloquy on eBay, and sold it to a guy from Alabama for $8800. That sale represents the only profit I’ve ever regretted.

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I was 23. White upper-middle class suburban punk. A year back I had been majoring in toxicology and pharmacology at Emory. Hell, I figured I had only so much time to enjoy, and I was right. A year later, I found myself helping take public a company that would be inevitably intertwined with the 9/11 bombings. The COO used to say that if the applicant passed the mirror test they would hire them. The job? Aviation security. Which reminds me of how things are shaping up for Volvo at the moment.

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