“You know what? The average person who lives in the South could probably own two new cars for their entire lifetime.”
“Steve! What are ya? Nuts?!”
“No. Think about it Tim. The average person in the future will probably drive about 10k miles a year. Let’s say they get a new car when they’re 22.”
“A new car? Really? Are we talking about a newly minted college grad? Or someone who actually works?”
“Someone who works… look. You can buy the new car in your 20’s. Maintain it well. Wax it once a year or so. Don’t drive too aggressively. Here in Georgia you have smooth roads, no rust…”
“And shiny happy people holding hands! Look Steve. You’re a frugal fellow. Maybe even cheap. Maybe a tightwad. Maybe one of the cheapest bastards I’ve ever met…”
“Well Tim, spare me your usual compliments. My theory still holds. I think the average car of recent times can hit 300k or 30 years if it’s driven conservatively and maintained well…”
A 1997 Ford Escort is not exactly a rolling testament to the dreams of auto enthusiasts.
But for $300, it beats the ever loving snot out of a Schwinn.
This LX model was a trade-in from one of my customers. Did I rip them off? No. Not at all. One of the cylinders was dead. The interior was as dirty as Hugh Hefner’s mind, and with 221k miles coupled with a 5-speed, it wasn’t about to go on the front line.
They can be a young guy with college loans in his mid-20’s who is charged $800+ for a $100 repair. Or an elderly couple on a fixed income who is encouraged to sign on the dotted line with a malevolent seller.
Every single American has probably been a sucker at some point in their lives when it comes to cars. Young, old, smart, not so smart, confident, fearful… and in all cases, struggling with the unfamiliar. Our society is not one that de-fangs the predators or educates the victims. It is a debtful and litigious one that encourages money to be thrown into every which direction but personal accountability.
Or does it? Frugality is supposedly the in thing these days… and cars are now kept longer than ever. As a life long debt hater, I would like to think that there are far fewer suckers than before. Especially when it comes to cars.
“My old 10 year old Chevy Cavalier is a real beater!”, they may remark in some self-affirming way. “Why it’s old and it has 120k miles, and the paint is faded… and…”, they will continue to go through the list on the mistaken belief that any car made in the late Clinton to Bush era is a beater. They’re not. At least not quite yet. Any car that can be scanned or diagnosed with a conventional OBDII scanner is not a beater.
Then there is the modern day Yuppie beater. “I have a late 90’s Mercedes E-Class that’s a true beater!” Never mind that the car would fit in at any country club if the owner bothered to give it a good detail.
In my humble opinion, these types of cars are not beaters at all. What qualifies? Well let’s go through the list shall we?
There used to be a long line of cars going in the direction of my childhood home.
My mom, bless her heart, used to observe the speed limits with enough zeal to make Ralph Nader blush. “Do we drive 25 miles per hour? No! We drive 20. That way we are always obeying the law!” Needless to say, I have managed to steer free and clear of her driving habits for well over 20 years. She thinks I’m a control freak… when the truth is she’s just too damn slow.
The slow issue got me thinking about speed limits back in the bad old days of the 1980’s. Between reading various auto magazines at the back of my high school classes, I used to daydream about a better society. Not about serving your fellow man or envisioning world peace. But one where drivers like my mom would just get the hell out of my way. One where the observance of all motoring laws would be based on reason and logic, rather than the short-term needs of a ravenous revenue seeking police state.
A beautiful driving utopia where asphalt and heavier right feet would march in unison towards a quicker commute. Where speed limits would be anywhere between 10 mph to 20 mph higher than today’s superficially low limits. Where a speed limit would indeed become a speed limit.
A bad car was a known commodity back then. But what about now?
Everyone cribs each others specs and suppliers these days and the results are… well… middling.
For example, is the 2012 Kia Rio a bad car? Jack Baruth says, “Hell No!“. Motor Trend says something in the lines of “B-Class Economy Just Got Better!” and then puts it dead last in a recent comparo (along with putting the Hyundai Accent first.)
“Is that yours?” Millions of car buyers spend billions of dollars hoping that this statement will be born of admiration rather than pity. When these words come out of a car dealer’s mouth at trade-in time, they can be especially hurtful– even if the salesman is as honest as their spiel is long. That’s the moment when most car buyers finally discover whether or not their automotive “investment” has walked off a cliff and fallen into the financial abyss known as depreciation.
I remember looking at the then brand new Ford Five Hundred and thinking to myself, “This would make one heck of a Volvo.”
Like the Volvos of yore this Ford offered a squarish conservative appearance. A high seating position which Volvo’s ‘safety oriented’ customers would have appreciated. Toss in a cavernous interior that had all the potential for a near-luxury family car, or even a wagon, and this car looked more ‘Volvo’ than ‘Ford’ to me with each passing day.
I drive about 200 hundred cars every year. Some go 0 to 60 in about 6 seconds flat… others take as long as 10 or 12 seconds. Even the slowest of these cars are amazingly fun to drive when you are in the right place and time. As for the fastest? Well they offer sport and convenience, and more opportunities to feel a Baruthian thrust.
But given how most people drive their cars these days… does it really matter?
There are vehicles at the auctions that are supposedly worth more dead than alive. Inop vehicles. Cars and trucks that are not running and a mere bid away from the crusher. It’s the hardest area of all to find a decent vehicle… and also the most fun.
October and the first half of November have historically been a great time for dealers to buy cars on the cheap. There are no spending holidays. No Christmas or end of the year bonuses. No tax refunds. Not even a hint of federal legislation that may push old beaters onto the ‘cheap’ side of the ledger.
But there are thousands of used car sales managers that see nothing but big losses on much of their inventory at this time of year. The green Hummer that seemed like such a great deal back in red-hot June may be molderizing at the back of the lot by November. Same goes for the trade-in’s that were valued perhaps a bit too strong… just so the deal on the new car could get done.
Every car at an auto auction is a failure. Well, maybe not the 4Runner that Bertel and Ed saw with me that had 459,000 miles (it sold for $1800 by the way). But there always comes a time or a point where an owner will say, “Enough!” and proceed to accept a wholesale price for a retail vehicle.
There are many reasons for failure… and here are some of the most common ones I find at the auctions…
Wholesale heaven is a miserable place. For every Mercury Milan that finds itself at the auctions, you have at least three ex-rental Chrysler Sebrings that have yet to find a permanent home. As I mentioned to Bertel and Ed this past week, “Everyone wants a good deal at the auctions. But no one wants a Mitsubishi.”
Insurance? For moi? What do you think I am! A jackass?
What’s the most dangerous thing on the road today?
A drunk driver? Some moron who is self-absorbed in his own little texting universe? Maybe an older person who simply doesn’t have what it takes to drive a car anymore?
Not quite.
The most dangerous thing on today’s roads are those folks who fall into these categories and dozens of other high risk behaviors… and don’t carry auto insurance.
“You didn’t have the decency to knock on the door! I have your 200 in cash.”
There are three key ingredients with most repossessions. Don’t pay. Don’t tell the truth. Don’t return calls. In the case of this former customer, the check that was ‘in the mail’ and the phone that didn’t work had suddenly transformed themselves into ‘cash money in hand’ and 27 phone calls right after the vehicle got taken back.
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